


Crossing Borders

by zarrati



Series: Crossing Borders Universe [1]
Category: Parks and Recreation
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Dictator AU, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-18
Updated: 2016-01-15
Packaged: 2018-02-19 07:54:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 110,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2380649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zarrati/pseuds/zarrati
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When the president/dictator of Pawnee, Leslie Knope, starts receiving very personal death threats, army intelligence officers Major Ben Wyatt and Lieutenant Colonel Chris Traeger are called in from their post on the Pawnee/Eagleton border to sniff out a possible mole within the government and uncover a complex assassination plot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is an AU fic based on a prompt I received concerning dictator!Leslie and bodyguard/general!Ben. There will be a lot of Ben angst because I can't help it, and as of now, some aspects are vague on purpose. I tried to keep Pawnee's military structure as close to that of the US military, but since Pawnee IS technically its own World Power here, some intentional differences have occurred. I hope you enjoy!

Pawnee/Eagleton Border

1993

 

  
After taking three of the four squads in his platoon out for a surprise practice drill, Lieutenant Killnose was ready to head back to camp. It had been unusually warm that day, and he could see the fatigue building in his soldiers’ eyes.

Underneath that layer of fatigue was something else he knew all too well--homesickness. For most of his young soldiers, this was their first tour of duty. The first time they had spent months away from their friends and loved ones.

The older he got, the more he appreciated the youthful spirit of his troops. At times, he envied their optimism, their view of the world still untainted by the horrors of combat.

His platoon, nicknamed the India Company Exterminators, or ICE for short, had been stationed along the Pawnee/Eagleton border for the last six months. While border patrol during peacetime wasn’t the worst assignment one could have, he could tell that his platoon was getting restless, hence today’s surprise drill.

“Alright troops,” he called out. “Time to head back to camp. Sergeant, radio the camp and let them know of our return. Also, get a status update.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Those lucky bastards,” said one of the Privates. “It always seems like that squad gets out of doing the hard stuff.”

“Quit your complaining, Private,” Killnose replied. “You know as well as anybody that it was their turn to stay behind and watch the camp. Don’t tell me that an old man like me tired you out today.”

The Private laughed and shook his head. “I’ll never admit that, Sir. But I will say that I’d give just about anything to trade places with them right about now.”

Before he could reply, his Sergeant called out to him. “Lieutenant, we’re having trouble establishing contact with the camp.”

“Give me the radio. Ice Town, this is the Mobile Unit. Come in, Ice Town. Over.”

Nothing but static.

“Ice Town, this is the Mobile Unit. Do you copy? Over.”

More static.

“Damn. It’s probably just their radio that crapped out, but I want to get back as soon as possible. Finish loading up the trucks.”

It wasn’t until they were a few miles away from the camp that they saw the smoke.

~~~

Before the truck fully stopped, Killnose jumped out and ran towards the camp--or what was left of it. Tents and pieces of equipment were blown to pieces, supplies burned and smoking.

Bullet shells littered the ground.

And his soldiers. Dear God, his soldiers. Their bodies were scattered throughout the camp, blood pouring from their wounds.

“Someone radio for a chopper. We need a medic here, now!” he shouted. It didn’t matter to whom. “Sergeant Johnson, take your squad and search the perimeter. See if these sons of bitches are still out there. The rest of you, check to see if we have any survivors.”

Killnose ran towards the first body he saw, pressing his fingers against the Private’s neck, praying to find a pulse.

His prayer went unanswered.

Moving on to the next body, he found the same to be true. It would be an image that would haunt him until the day he died, the lifeless eyes of the young men and women who were under his command staring back at him. His job was to protect them, and he had failed.

This wasn’t supposed to happen. They weren’t at war. They hadn’t received any word from intelligence about a possible attack. They were supposed to be on border patrol, an uneventful tour designed to break in new soldiers.

And now they were dead. Every single one of them.

“Lieutenant!” someone screamed from the other side of the camp. “Over here! He’s still alive.”

Killnose sprinted towards the voice, his Sergeant kneeling over the body of one of his Privates.

The young man’s chest was covered in blood, his fatigues singed as though he had been burned.

“His pulse is weak, and he’s losing a lot of blood. I can’t tell what his injuries are.”

Killnose started stripping off his own fatigues to pull out his undershirt, bunching the cotton fabric into a tight ball.

“Get his jacket off of him. We need to apply pressure to his chest to stop the blood flow. Get me whatever clothes or rags you can. Do it now!”

The boy’s chest was a mangled mess. He couldn’t tell if it was a bullet wound or burns or some combination of the two.

“Where the fuck is that chopper?” Killnose shouted, pressing the rags firmly against the wounds.

Within minutes the rags were soaked through. As he switched to fresh ones, he heard the young man beneath him moan, his eyes struggling to open.

“He’s waking up. Can you hear me, son? A chopper is gonna be here any minute. We’re gonna get you out of here. We just need you to hold on. You got that, Wyatt? You’d better make it. That’s an order, Private.”

The Lieutenant swore he saw the slight nod of Ben’s head before his eyes started to flutter and he drifted back into unconsciousness.

“Wyatt? Wyatt! Damn it!”

Private Benjamin Wyatt. An 18 year old kid barely out of basic training.

And quite possibly their only way of finding out what happened here today.

“Sir, the chopper’s almost here.”

Killnose nodded and focused his attention back to the dying man beneath him.

He just hoped it wasn’t too late.

~~~

Present Day

Ben grimaced as he rolled his neck, attempting to work out the knots that had formed in the last two hours spent hunched over his computer. The rhythmic tapping of the keyboard paused only briefly as he took a sip of lukewarm coffee.

His focus was interrupted by his ringing phone, tearing him away from his work for the first time that afternoon.

"Major Wyatt," he answered.

"Ben!" the exuberant voice of his fellow intelligence officer replied back.

"Hey, Chris--or should I say Lieutenant Colonel Traeger," he teased. "That's gonna take some getting used to. How's that new promotion feel?"

"Amazing! It is just so fulfilling to serve my country and be rewarded. I’m so humbled."

"Well, you deserve it."

"I couldn't have done it without your help. Your analysis was crucial in preventing the latest incident. I foresee a promotion for you soon, too."

"Yeah, yeah, I'll believe it when I see it. So, what can I do for you? I doubt you called to just shoot the breeze."

Ben heard Chris swallow and sigh. "Very true.There have been new reports of an assassination attempt being planned against the president."

"Okay, but we receive dozens of those types of reports almost daily. Many of them are false leads or idle threats."

"This one appears to be serious. The president has been receiving very personal death threats. Someone is somehow bypassing all security measures. We aren't sure, but we suspect that someone has infiltrated into a high level position within the government and is taking advantage of that access to make these threats and possibly supply others with information.”

"Damn it, Chris, why am I just hearing about this now?"

"This is being kept Top Secret. Need to know basis only. I just got the call from the Intelligence Office at The Capital this morning."

"And what do they want from us?"

"Well, that's why I'm calling. They specifically request that you and I be brought in to consult."

"To the Capital?"

"The president has already been informed of our imminent arrival."

"What do you mean the president? We've never handled anything on this scale before. We deal with border issues and small scale terrorist attempts. Why us?"

"Apparently our last operation got us more notoriety than we thought. Given our current situation with Eagleton, determining whether or not they are somehow involved is our top priority. No one has done more research and knows more about them than you, Ben. We leave for The Capital tomorrow."

Ben rubbed his face with his free hand. "Well, it's not like we have a choice. We have our orders. Any idea how long they expect us to be there?"

"That has not yet been determined.  It could be anywhere from weeks to months. However long it takes to resolve this."

“Shit. I guess I have some packing to do. When are we going to be officially briefed on the situation?”

“We arrive at the Capital tomorrow evening. Our briefing is scheduled for 0800 the following morning in the Capitol Building.”

“The Capitol Building, huh? Wow, never thought I’d ever see inside of those walls.”

“We should consider ourselves very fortunate. Some of the nation’s top intelligence officials will be there, along with the president’s personal staff.”

Ben almost fell out of his chair. “D-does that mean that the president is going to actually be there?”

“Oh, yes. She insists on being personally involved in all matters pertaining to these threats. We’re going to meet the president. Isn’t that exciting?”

Ben’s mouth went dry, his heart pounding in his ears. Exciting? Not quite the term he’d use. Terrifying, exhilarating, heart stopping, humbling. Maybe a dash of exciting thrown in there somewhere, but this-this was huge. “Yeah. I don’t even know what to say.”

Chris simply chuckled. “Oh, Ben, you just be your natural, charming self. No need to be nervous.”

“If you say so. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Without waiting for a goodbye, Ben hung up the phone, still in a state of shock. Eventually shaking himself from his stupor, he powered down his laptop and shoved it in his bag, along with any other files he felt might be useful in his consultation.

Looking around his office, he saw just how lifeless it was. In all of the years that he had worked there, he had never bothered to personalize it; make it his own. There was no artwork on the walls, none of his own books on the shelves, no knickknacks cluttering his desk, save for a single picture frame.

He could walk out of that room right now and there wouldn’t be a single trace of Ben Wyatt, as though he never even existed.

He let out a bitter laugh. He thought that about his own life, too, sometimes. Especially during his darker days-- the days, weeks, months after the attack.

If he just disappeared, would it even make a difference?

But in the course of a few minutes, everything changed. He was important somehow, and he wasn’t quite sure why.

The Capital, the president, an assassination.

These words swirled inside of his head maddeningly. This was by far the biggest assignment of his career. Success would guarantee him a promotion, possibly set him up for life.

But failure…

He didn’t want to even think of that as an option. The life of the president was at stake, and quite possibly the future of his country.

Picking up the frame from his desk, he looked at the faces of the smiling men and women he once considered blood. His brothers and sisters in arms. His own face also stared back at him, so young and optimistic.

Ben unconsciously ran a hand over his chest and shoulder, a few layers of clothing separating his fingers from the scars that marred his body. Scars that were covered by a uniform he sometimes felt unfit to even wear.

And now he was being asked to represent that uniform to the president of Pawnee.

He’d better not screw this up.

  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a little bit of a filler chapter to help set up more aspects of the plot and introduce the characters, BUT we get our first meeting and see how things work out with Leslie being the one in charge instead of Ben....*cue intrigue*

President Leslie Knope sat slumped over her desk with her head in her hands. She was exhausted, not having had a good night’s sleep in over a week. Considering that her version of a ‘good night’s sleep’ was about four hours, that was saying something.  
  
Last week was when the letters started. She scoffed to herself. If you could call them ‘letters’. They were threats, plain and simple. Each one getting more and more specific, more personal. Each one threatening not only her own life, but those of her citizens.  
  
What frightened her most wasn’t the fact that whoever was responsible for delivering these threats was walking within the walls of the Capitol. No, it was that it could be someone that she trusted.  
  
She didn’t want to even fathom that someone she had put her faith in could betray her like that. She refused to believe it.  
  
And it wasn’t so much that her own life was at stake. As daunting as that thought was, for someone in her position, it was almost a fact of life.  
  
She remembered something her father had once told her: “Leslie, I won’t be able to please everyone. There will always be people who will not agree with what I do and how I do it. They might protest, they might fight back, and yes, they might even want me dead. But I have to do what is best for Pawnee, and one day, that burden will be yours.”  
  
That was when, at the tender age of fifteen, Leslie truly realized the task she’d undertake once her father died and passed on the leadership of Pawnee to her.  
  
No, it wasn’t her own future she feared for as much as that of her country. Pawnee was the greatest country in all of the Northern Hemisphere, possibly even the world, and she was going to do her damndest to make sure whoever was behind this was stopped.  
  
A loud knock on the door tore Leslie from her thoughts, and she took a deep, calming breath.  
  
“Come in.”  
  
Her personal assistant popped her head into the office. “The intelligence people from the Border or whatever are here. Everyone’s waiting in the conference room for when you’re ready, but, uhm, ya know if you don’t feel like meeting with them right now, we can just make them wait. I can tell them that you won’t meet with them for another 8 hours, and until then they can’t eat, drink, or go to the bathroom. We can bet on which one breaks down in tears first.”  
  
Leslie gave her a small smile, knowing this was her unique way of trying to cheer her up. “No, thank you, April. Let them know I’ll be there in a minute.”  
  
April left quickly, closing the door behind her.  
  
Leslie stood up from her desk and started pacing, mentally preparing herself.  
  
“You’ve got this, Leslie,” she said aloud. “Those are just notes and everything’s gonna be okay. We have the best people in the country working on this. There’s nothing to worry about. Just tell them everything that happened.” She took another deep breath, releasing the air slowly from her mouth. “I am strong. I am fierce. I am the President, and I’m in control.”  
  
Squaring her shoulders, Leslie grabbed her padfolio and walked out of the door.  
  
And in her pocket was the note she had found on her desk that morning.  
  
~~~  
  
When Leslie walked into the conference room, she noticed that everyone had segregated themselves into two groups. The members of her staff were clustered together talking on one side of the room, while General Trumple was on the other, talking with the two analysts sent in from the Border.  
  
A hush fell as they noticed her presence; the lanky Major talking to Trumple looked like he might be sick when he saw her.  
  
Mustering a smile, Leslie walked over to them, extending her hand.  
  
“Gentlemen, thank you so much for coming, especially on such short notice.”  
  
The other one, the Lieutenant Colonel, had a smile plastered on his face that almost didn’t look real. Leslie had never seen anyone that happy and filled with positive energy before, let alone a military man. He shook her hand fervently.  
  
“President Knope, Lieutenant Colonel Chris Traeger. And can I just say that it is an honor and a privilege to meet you, and I am just so unbelievably humbled that we can be of service to you.”  
  
Leslie did her best to stifle a laugh of amusement at his enthusiasm, instead shifting her attention to the other man, the lanky one that now looked even more terrified than before.  
  
“And you must be Major Wyatt,” she said, attempting to break the ice and offering him her hand. “Thank you again for your help.”  
  
He wiped his hand against the leg of his slacks, and if his hand was as sweaty as the rest of him, she was grateful that he did. His grip was strong despite the fact that his hand was shaking slightly. Again, not exactly what she’d pictured originally.  
  
“Uhm, th-the same. I mean, the same as what Chris said. We are happy and honored to be here and help in any way that we can.”  
  
Nodding, Leslie released his hand and shifted her attention to the rest of the group. “Well, let me introduce my staff. This is Ann Perkins, the head of our Health Department and quite possibly the greatest and most beautiful creature on earth,” she said, gesturing to the woman now on her right. “This is Donna Meagle, my press secretary. She makes sure I don’t look like a fool in front of the media. Then here we have Tom Haverford who oversees most of our foreign affairs.”  
  
Moving past Leslie, Tom shook the hands of Chris and Ben. “I’m also somewhat of an entrepreneur, so if you’re looking for some investment opportunities-”  
  
“Okay, Tom, now’s not the time.” Leslie interrupted. “Anyway, next we have Andy Dwyer who heads National Security, and the angry looking man in the corner there is Ron Swanson, my chief advisor. Of course, you’ve already met my personal assistant-”  
  
“Endora Beetelgeuse, and I’m also a vampire with an unquenchable bloodthirst.”  
  
“No, no she’s not. This is April Ludgate, and uhm, Jerry should be around here somewhere. He’s our office assistant.”  
  
“He broke the coffee pot and went to go buy another one,” April said in her usual monotone.  
  
“Why would he do that?” Leslie asked. “We keep backups in the supply closet on the first floor. I don’t think they even sell those coffee makers around here anymore.”  
  
“I know,” April answered, the ghost of a sadistic smile on her lips.  
  
Shaking her head, Leslie ushered everyone to the conference table. “Well, we can get started, and I guess I’ll hand the meeting over to you. Please, feel free to introduce yourselves and let us know how we can help.”  
  
General Trumple spoke first, his gruff demeanor demanding the attention of the room. “As most of you know, I’m General Trumple, thirty-five year veteran of Pawnee’s Army and Head of Army Intelligence. You’re all in this room because you have personal knowledge of the threats that have been made against President Knope. Our number one priority is to identify who is behind this and protect the president at all costs. Lieutenant Colonel Traeger and Major Wyatt have been very successful on the Border and have a unique knowledge of Eagleton that might prove useful on this case. Either way, they are damn good analysts and should be afforded every courtesy of this office."  
  
Looking over to Ben, Trumple nodded, silent permission to take the reigns of the meeting.  
  
"Well, first what we should do is go over the threats and hear what happened directly from you, then we can go from there. Madam President, can you please talk us through what happened starting with the first threat?"  
  
"Of course. The first note came last Tuesday, but I didn't receive it directly. It was in a stack of press releases that Donna had been going through and she was the one who brought it to my attention. The next note was sent to Ann that Thursday. Every Thursday morning Ann and I meet for breakfast if I'm in town, and whoever sent that note knew that. The third was on Monday morning. Someone had slipped it into a stack of highly classified memos that April delivered to me."  
  
Leslie reached her hand into her pocket and pulled out the newest note. "I found this on my desk this morning."  
  
Startled gasps filled the room. Ben stood up from his seat and swiftly walked over to where Leslie was seated to read the note.  
  
 _I'm getting closer and nothing you or those analysts do will stop me. Pawnee will be returned and you will pay._  
  
"Whoever is behind this was able to break into my locked office between 11:00 last night and 5:00 this morning."  
  
Looking at the note over her shoulder, Ben studied it, tracing the print with his fingertips. "They knew we were coming. Shit." He ran a hand across his mouth before opening his padfolio and looking over the other notes. "They're mocking us. They're showing their power, the level of influence that they have. Each threat has been a progression from the previous one, getting closer to you and moving higher up the chain of your staff. They know private aspects of your life, both personal and professional. They're flaunting the fact they're right under our noses." He was almost speaking to himself, his voice low but so close to Leslie's ear.  
  
Chris interrupted Ben's musings. "Well, in cases like this, getting the input from all of you is important. Ben, you will be conducting the individual interviews while the General and I brief the other intelligence officers assisting us over at the Intelligence Office. " Standing up from his seat, Chris smiled broadly. "It has been a pleasure meeting each and every one of you today, and I look forward to our next visit. You are truly the backbone of our nation. Goodbye!"  
  
After Trumple and Chris left, Leslie glanced at Ben, who looked less than pleased, if not slightly annoyed.  
  
"Well I guess I'll be conducting the one on one interviews. As high ranking members and individuals who have had close contact with the threats, any input you have will be invaluable. However, what Chris failed to mention is that given the nature of these threats, we also need to eliminate you as possible suspects. I’ll be going down my list and calling each of you in separately. I appreciate your cooperation. Now, if you wouldn’t mind, I’d like the room to myself first to gather my notes."  
  
Leslie watched as Ben sat at the head of the conference table. The rest of her staff filed out of the room to await their call, except for Ann, who stayed behind with Leslie.  
  
Once they were alone, Leslie looked at him sharply. "I can assure you that none of those people are responsible. I trust them implicitly."  
  
The shy and nervous exterior that Ben had initially exhibited was gone, replaced by a cold and aloof sternness. “With all due respect, Madam President, this is something that has to be done. While I can appreciate your confidence in your staff, my experience has taught me that one can never be too careful with placing trust, especially given the ease that these threats have found their way to you. We have to assume that there is a high degree of probability that a member of your staff is either making these threats or supplying who is with information.”  
  
Standing to her her full height, Leslie looked Ben straight in the eye, and she felt a twinge of satisfaction at the momentary look of panic in his eyes.  
  
“I don’t care what your experience has taught you. You will not treat my staff as suspects.”  
  
“As of right now, they are suspects.”  
  
Leslie stopped whatever retort was coming out of her mouth when she felt Ann’s soft hand on her arm.  
  
“Leslie, it’s okay. He needs to do his job and eliminate all possibilities. We have nothing to hide, and we want to help.”  
  
Releasing a breath, Leslie nodded her agreement, putting her hand over Ann’s and grasping it.  
  
“Of course, you’re right, as usual.” She looked back over at Ben. “You can conduct the interviews.”  
  
He gave an almost imperceptible nod of appreciation. “Thank you, President Knope. Also, Ms. Perkins, you can stay behind. I’ll interview you first.”  
  
Leslie left the room just as Ann got seated, trying to lessen her frustration. She knew he was only there to help, but she already felt a dislike towards him. Nothing strong enough to warrant a court-martial, but still, he rubbed her the wrong way.  
  
Yes, his number one priority was her safety, but he didn’t seem to care that these people were her friends, her most trusted allies. He spoke to them and about them as though they were expendable resources, criminals who wanted her dead. But nothing could be further from the truth.  
  
Right?  
  
She was just hoping they would all make it through the day in one piece.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The plot continues. Plus, we learn more about the tragedy at ICE Town in this universe's version of the "bar" scene.

 

Ben watched the president leave out of the corner of his eye, mentally berating himself for his behavior while pretending to be engrossed in his notes.

What the hell was wrong with him? He started off acting like a nervous child, barely able to form a coherent sentence, then within a matter of minutes, he had spoken to her as if he was begging for a court-martial.

He knew how it was supposed to work--Chris was the one coming in with all of the enthusiasm and positivity, and he’d leave Ben to do the nitty gritty work. It made sense, to be honest. When they were teamed up, Ben had a reputation for being a hard-ass. His ability to detach himself and focus on the work also made him appear cold and uncaring, but that’s what made him great at his job.

And it wasn’t that he didn’t care. If anything, he cared _too_ much to let his emotions cloud his judgement. He’d made that mistake once before, and he swore that it would never happen again.

If only he could make the president understand. He didn’t want to treat her staff as suspects, but he had no choice. The second he let his guard down would be the moment that it could all go to hell, and he cared too much for that to happen.

Looking up from his padfolio, he met the eyes of Ann Perkins. He appreciated her defense of him earlier, but judging by the look she was giving him now, it was more for Leslie’s benefit than his own.

“Ms. Perkins, thank you again for your cooperation.”

She sat with her arms folded over her chest, a defensive posture if he’d ever seen one. “You’re welcome, but it’s not like we really have a choice. I just want to get this over with and find out who’s doing this to Leslie.”

“I understand. Now, you were the one who found the second note, correct? Can you talk me through what happened?”

Unfolding her arms, Ann leaned forward to rest her hands on the table. “Like Leslie said, Thursday mornings we meet for breakfast if she’s not out of town. It’s been a little tradition of ours for years.”

“And do many people know of this tradition?”

“It’s not a huge secret, but not something we go around advertising either. I’d assume most of her senior level staff are aware of it, but that’s it. We don’t go out anywhere, so it’s not like people will see us eating out on the street. We have the food delivered to her office.”

Ben looked up at her briefly while taking his notes. “Alright, now where were you when you found the note?”

So far Ann was doing an excellent job of keeping her composure, but his job was to read people. He could see the shake of her hands despite her efforts to hide them, the slight tremor in her voice as she relived what happened.

“I was at home. Whoever it was had put it on the windshield of my car so I’d see it as I left to come here and meet Leslie. God, I don’t think I’d ever been that scared in my entire life. _‘Have a lovely breakfast, Ms. Perkins. I hope the president enjoys her waffles today. Someday soon, they’ll be her last meal.’_ That’s what the note said. I’ll remember it for as long as I live.”

“Do you have an idea of when the note could have been placed there?”

“Somewhat. It had rained the night before, but my windshield and the note were dry. So sometime between when the rain ended and when I left the house. I’d say between five and seven?”

“And you didn’t notice anything suspicious?”

“No, of course not. At least not before I left the house. I live in a very high security neighborhood. If something was out of place, I’m sure someone would have noticed.”

“Alright, what about after you found the note? What happened?”

“I freaked out. I ran inside and called Leslie’s private line directly. She was more concerned for me at that point. The bastard knew where I lived and knew my schedule. She sent Andy over with some of his agents to escort me here. I’ve had agents on me 24/7 since it happened.”

“Now, again, I have to ask these questions, but where were you when the other notes were found or delivered?”

“Last Tuesday I had back to back meetings with my staff at the Health Department. They can verify that from 8:00 AM to 5:00 PM, I never left the third floor. My security badge logs will also confirm that. Like I said, I’ve had guards on me 24/7 since I found the second note, so I couldn’t have delivered the last two without someone noticing.”

“Right. Now, you and the president seem awfully close. You probably know the most about President Knope, and you have her trust.”

Ann’s defensive posture was back, her arms once again folded across her chest. “Yes, we’ve been best friends for years. Her father and mine were also very close. It's hard for someone in her situation, especially as a teenager, to make friends.”

“Logically speaking, you’re in an excellent position to gather information on the president. More than that, she trusts you. I mean, you had only been a nurse for ten years and she appointed you the head of the Health Department. Have you ever been tempted to exploit that trust? Has anyone ever offered you money or threatened you in exchange for information?”

He struck and nerve and he knew it, Ann’s shaking now a result of containing her anger as opposed to fear.

“Of course not,” she said through clenched teeth. “Look, I know you’re only trying to do your job, but you don’t have to be an ass about it. Leslie put me in that job because I was qualified and able to do it. I grew up in this environment and know how it works. And yes, I’m sure I’m in a great position if I wanted to cause Leslie harm, but I don’t. I love her as if she was my own sister, and I have never been tempted to betray that friendship and trust. Not for money, not for power, not for anything. And you can be damn sure that if anyone did try to get at her through me, I’d let every Security Officer know about it. They’d be dead before the end of the day.”

Standing up from her chair, Ann looked down at him from across the table. “Now, are we through here?”

Ben simply nodded, gesturing towards the door. He’d gotten the response he’d been hoping for.

“Thank you again for your time. Can you send in Ms. Meagle next, please?”

She didn’t answer, simply walking to the door and slamming it behind her. He foresaw that by the end of the day, he wouldn’t have any new friends, but he’d at least be one step closer to solving this.

~~~

Ben rubbed the fatigue from his eyes. He had been interviewing staff members all morning.

Donna Meagle’s story appeared to be legitimate. The press releases had been stacked on her desk, and anyone with the right security clearance could have walked into her office and placed the note. Her whereabouts during her off hours could be confirmed by the list of men she had given him.

Tom Haverford had no direct contact with any of the threats, but had the proper clearance to be considered a suspect. However, Ben didn’t get that vibe from him. He had alibis for all of the occurrences, the first of which he wasn’t even in the country.

Jerry Gergich had returned from whatever coffee pot buying excursion he was on, and was more than willing to help in anyway that he could. Ben didn’t think the man could tie his own shoes, let alone be involved in a grand conspiracy to assassinate the president.

Ron Swanson had been difficult to interview considering he refused to give more than two or three word answers. He obviously valued his privacy, and it didn’t help that he had a rather strong distrust of the military. But it was clear to Ben that he cared for the president in his own way, having been one of her father’s closest allies.

His interview with April Ludgate wasn’t much easier. She was constantly changing the subject, and her dislike for him was more than obvious, if the mini ‘Major Wyatt’ voodoo doll she had made was any indication. It wasn’t until he implied that April’s attitude suggested she didn’t care about the president’s life that she broke. She told him everything he wanted to know, albeit sprinkled with a few expletives thrown in his direction.

He had just finished his interview with Leslie’s head of Security, Andy Dwyer, or “Bert Macklin” as he called himself whenever he went undercover. Ben had a feeling he was ‘undercover’ a lot more than necessary, but he, too, seemed to check out. A bit flaky and easily excited, but he took his job very seriously and was willing to give his life for the president at any moment.

That seemed to be the recurring theme--all of these people genuinely liked their boss. He was rather surprised by that, to be honest. He’s been doing this for a long time, and he has never met a group of people more sincere in their admiration for their employer. And it wasn’t some weird brainwashing technique that other political leaders have used either.

Hearing about President Knope through the eyes of her employees gave Ben an entirely different perspective of her, a side that wasn’t shown on television or in the newspapers.

They cared about her because she genuinely cared about them.

As if he needed a reason to feel more guilty about the way he spoke to her.

With the interviews done, Ben was scheduled to meet Chris and Trumple at the Intelligence Office later that afternoon, after he spoke once more with President Knope, of course.

Looking at his watch, he saw that it was lunchtime, and he had a feeling crow was going to be on the menu.

~~~

Ben was still gathering his things when the president came back into the conference room, and she didn’t look very pleased.

“Major Wyatt, I assume that you are through with the interviews?”

“Yes ma’am. Your staff was very cooperative and helpful.”

“Really? Because some of them weren’t very pleased with the way you spoke to them. Look, I understand the seriousness of the job that you have to do, but I still don’t appreciate your behavior nor do I like the implication that I employ an incompetent group of opportunistic traitors. Every single one of those men and women are excellent employees, and I will fight on their behalf. Well, maybe not Jerry so much. He’s pretty much only around because he was a friend of my father’s, but that’s a different story. Anyway, I’ll have to ask that you change your attitude, or I will go to General Trumple and have him assign us a different analyst to work with.”

“Yes, I understand, and please, accept my apology for the way I acted when we first met. May I please have the honor of taking you to lunch? You look like you could eat, and I'd like the opportunity to formally apologize and explain myself, if I may. I feel like we got off on the wrong foot. Offending you was never my intention.”

Ben looked at her expectantly, her face confused and a bit skeptical. Just when he was sure that she would refuse and send him back to the Border, she nodded.

“Alright. We can go to my office and order in from the kitchen. My personal chef is pretty amazing. He makes the best waffles in the country.”

Ben followed her into her office, attempting to ignore the strange looks being thrown his way. Taking a seat on the other side of her desk, the president passed him the small, kitchen menu.

“You won’t find crow on there, in case you were wondering, but I’m sure the chef can make you some if you asked,” she said to him, a smile tugging on her lips.

He chuckled. “Yeah, I guess I deserve that, but I think I’ll have the club sandwich instead. I’ll be supplying my own crow.”

Her smile grew and she called in their order, the club sandwich for him and the waffles for her.

Putting down the phone, she focused her attention back at him. “Now, what was it that you wanted to talk about?”

“Uhm, I do want to apologize for my behavior earlier. I didn’t mean to come across as harsh as I did. Well, that’s not entirely true, either.”

“You mean you wanted to come across as a cold, uncaring jerk?”

“To a point, yes. I’m just not used to working with people who are above me.”

“So, you’re sorry that you acted that way to someone who could get you fired?”

“No, that’s not what I mean either. Uhm, it’s hard to explain. It’s just, with this job, my whole purpose is to gather information and somehow in someway make sense of it. That’s a little easier to do when I’m just researching things online or gathering straightforward facts. But with people...well, it’s a little harder. People aren’t that straightforward. They lie, they cheat, they try to flirt with you, pull on your heartstrings to make you sympathize with them. They try to become your friend for no other reason than to use that to their advantage. Behaving this way allows me to separate myself from everything and come the most logical conclusion based on facts.”

“That’s a pretty pessimistic view of the world, don’t you think? Not everyone is out to get you, you know.”

“I guess not, but it’s better to be safe than sorry. Especially now. I honestly have no higher priority than to find out what’s happening here and stop it. I really don’t care if people hate me as long as I do my job, and you and Pawnee are safe.”

Ben didn’t think what he had said was very touching, especially given the fact that he was sure President Knope had heard similar sentiments countless times, but he was still shocked by the look of gratitude on her face. She looked like she was about to reply when there was a knock on the door.

“Oh, that would be lunch. Come on in, JJ,” she called out towards the door.

An older gentleman came in with the tray of food, setting it down in front of them. They exchanged pleasantries before he eventually made is way back out.

“I’m not letting you off the hook that easy,” Leslie continued, piling whipped cream on top of her waffles. “Please tell me that you aren’t like that outside of work, at least.”

Ben shrugged. “Not as much, I don’t think, but I don’t really do all that much outside of work. I’m stationed at the Border, but I do travel a decent amount, gathering data, interviewing sources, that sort of thing. I have my hobbies and interests, but I’m not really all that social. I guess I just find it hard to get close to people, especially given my line of work.”

Taking a bite of his sandwich, Ben looked over to see Leslie studying him, looking at him like he was a puzzle she was trying to figure out. When Ben caught her eye, she quickly looked down at her plate.

“So, what made you decide to go into intelligence?”

Ben nearly choked on his food. “Oh, uhm, you know, I enjoyed being in the military, but felt that field work wasn’t exactly the best place for me. It’s a long and complicated story.”

“I know about what happened, you know,” she said in a soft voice.

“Yeah, I figured,” Ben sighed. “You seem like the type to read through the personnel files of everyone that comes through here,” he tried to joke, but it fell flat.

“Is that what made you chose? What happened at ICE Town?”

“Yeah.” He swallowed hard.

“Can you--can you tell me about it? About what happened? I mean, I don’t want to pressure you if it’s too much, but there’s only so much I can know from reading the reports. It’s not the same as hearing about it.”

Ben just stared at his plate, breathing deeply.

“Look, I’m sorry I asked,” Leslie said after a few moments. “I honestly didn’t mean to upset you.”

“No, no it’s fine,” he interrupted. “If anyone deserves to hear what happened, it’s you, don’t you think?”

“I’ll be fine with whatever you want to tell me.”

Putting down his sandwich, Ben took a long drink of water. “I enlisted in the army right out of school. I was a cocky 18-year-old that wanted to prove myself, so I thought the army was the place to do it. My first tour was with the India Company, and my platoon got stationed along the Border. Nothing too crazy, you know. Something simple enough that even us rookies couldn’t screw up. God, we were all so young. I think that was the first tour for most of us. Every platoon has a nickname, so we called ourselves the Exterminators--The India Company Exterminators.”

Ben couldn’t help but laugh.

“God, I can’t believe how juvenile we must have seemed back then. But that’s what we were, just kids, really. We were ‘ICE’ for short, because we were ‘cool as ice’ under pressure. That’s also why we called our camp ICE Town. We thought we were so clever, but even our Lieutenant started calling it that, so it stuck. Never thought that stupid name would live in infamy like that.

“Anyway, border patrol wasn’t very exciting, so we all grew close out there. No other contact with anyone but ourselves. It know it sounds cliche, but we really did become something of a family. They were my brothers and sisters in arms, for lack of a better phrase.”

Ben paused to collect himself. It didn’t matter how many years had passed, reliving this story never failed to make him emotional, but talking about it now was oddly therapeutic. He was surprised to feel Leslie’s hand giving his own a gentle, encouraging squeeze.

“It was about six months in when it happened. We were getting restless, I guess, so our Lieutenant decided to run some surprise drills. It was my squads turn to stay behind and watch the camp, so the rest of the platoon went on without us. It was around lunch time when all hell broke loose. I saw one of the other Privates, James Yurgin, messing with something in the mess tent. Said he was putting more forks in the cabinets. I didn’t think anything of it at the time, so just got my food. I was on Com duty, so I didn’t eat in the tent with some of the other guys. That probably saved my life. I was about half way between the mess tent and the Com center when the explosion happened. God only knows how far I was thrown, but I got knocked out. Next thing I know my Lieutenant is over me trying to stop me from bleeding out.”

“Oh, God, what happened to you?”

“It was touch and go for a few days for me. I had massive internal bleeding from being thrown and whatever debris might have hit me in the blast, and my chest near my shoulder was burned pretty badly. Had to have a few skin grafts for that. I had been in the hospital a week before I knew what had happened. Apparently Jimmy had been involved with some Eagleton extremist group. After the bomb went off, several other members of the group attacked the camp and killed any that had survived the blast. Lucky for me they thought I was already dead, although by the end of everything, there were plenty of other people that wanted me dead.”

“See, I never understood that. Why was everyone so upset at you? For surviving? That didn’t make sense.”

“After the attack, Jimmy was the only one they couldn’t account for. At first, they thought he had been taken hostage or something, but no ransom demand or anything ever came. It wasn’t until they started their investigation that they were able to tie the bomb and Jimmy to the extremist group.”

“I still don’t understand.”

“Jimmy and I were really close. We went through basic training together and bunked together once we got stationed. He was probably my best friend. We even once got drunk on leave and got tattoos together. It was no secret that he and I were buddies, and the fact that I survived made them suspect that I might have had something to do with it. At first, no one believed that I could have roomed with him for all those months and not suspected anything.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Leslie almost shouted. “Things like that happen all of the time! That’s what makes those types of terrorists so dangerous. They blend in, and no one suspects a thing.”

“Yeah, well, not everyone is as understanding as you. It took months before they were able to prove that I had nothing to do with Jimmy or the attack on ICE Town, but by that time, the damage was pretty much done. The ‘ICE Town Massacre’ was all over the news, and the media had started pointing fingers before they had all of the facts.”

He could tell that Leslie was fuming. “That’s-that’s just not even fair. How were you supposed to know? You were a kid for Christ’s sake. If there was absolutely no intelligence on this guy or what the group was planning, how the hell were they expecting you to know?”

“I guess I was an easy scapegoat. Someone to point the finger at and distract everyone from the fact that they never saw it coming. I was absolved in the end, but that didn’t help. By that point I already felt like if I had just payed more attention or something, I would have seen it. Looking back on it, there were some weird things that should have screamed to me that he was up to something, but I just ignored it. I felt like I could have prevented what happened somehow. That’s why I decided to go into intelligence. I felt like I needed to prove myself. I couldn’t stop what happened at ICE Town, but I could prevent that from happening anywhere else.

“And that’s why I am the way that I am, why I come across so cold and uncaring. I don’t miss anything that way. I was too close to Jimmy and any of his behavior that might have been suspect, I ignored. I don’t want anymore blood on my hands.”

“I don’t expect what I’m about to say to magically cure almost twenty years’ worth of guilt, but the way I see it, there is no blood on your hands. You weren’t the only one that missed it. The blood is only on the hands of those bastards that attacked you. Can I tell you something a little embarrassing?”

“I just told you my entire life story. I don’t think anything you say will be more embarrassing than that.”

“When I heard about the story, I really admired you. I didn’t believe any of that negative press. I even wanted to visit you in the hospital, but my father thought it was too risky for me to go to the Border that soon after an attack.You were kind of my hero for a little while.”

Ben lowered his head hoping to hide his blush. “That’s very sweet, but I was no hero.”

“Maybe not then, but in some ways, you are now. Despite what happened at ICE Town, you choose the career you have now, and in the process have saved countless lives. I read your file, remember? I know that there are other tragedies that you have prevented, and despite my attitude towards you before, you’re great at your job. You wouldn’t be here otherwise.”

“Thank you, President Knope. Coming from you, that means more to me than I can say.”

“Did they--did they ever find out what happened to Jimmy and the rest of the group?”

Ben shook his head. “No. After the attack, they crossed the border into Eagleton, and we weren’t able to extradite. From what we know, the group disbanded once they knew we were onto them. There hasn’t been new intelligence on them in over fifteen years.”

Just then, Ben’s phone buzzed in his pocket. “Shit, I’m late for my meeting at the Intelligence Office.”

“Just tell them you were with me. That usually passes for a pretty good excuse around here,” Leslie teased.

“I think I might have to do that. Well, thank you for giving me the opportunity to apologize and for lunch. I hope this means that I won’t be getting sent back to the Border?”

“I think you’re safe, but would it kill you to be just a little nicer?”

“I suppose not,” he laughed. “I’ll try my best. Thank you again, President Knope. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“None of that President Knope business. Everyone around here calls me Leslie, so please feel free to do the same, Major.”

“I think it’s only fair that if I get to call you Leslie, you get to call me Ben.”

“Alright, sounds fair enough. Now, get out of here before you’re too late for even me to excuse you.”

Ben left the office with the first genuine smile he'd had all day, the sound of Leslie's laugh echoing in his head.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who wants more Leslie/Ben interactions? You do? Well, you came to the right place.

 

One month. That’s how long it had been since Leslie’s life was turned upside down. Most of Intelligence and National Security had been investigating the threats for over three weeks, and they were still no closer to finding who was responsible.

Tests done on the notes revealed no fingerprints. All that they were able to determine was that the threats were printed from within the Capitol Building. Nothing new there.

Ben and Chris were working tirelessly, interviewing all Capitol employees, running background checks, the works. So far nothing was raising a red flag.

Leslie sighed in frustration at her desk, feeling the walls closing in around her. For her safety, any non-essential traveling had been postponed, and she was starting to feel like a prisoner in her own office.

Thankfully, Donna had done a great job of making sure none of what was going on had been leaked to the press. Pawneeans had a reputation for going a tad overboard, and mass hysteria was the last thing Leslie needed to deal with on top of everything else.

It helped that all government personnel were threatened with imprisonment if they disclosed anything about the letters, but she didn’t know how long the media would remain ignorant. The fact that she barely went outside anymore was bound to raise some eyebrows. She was always out amongst her people doing something. She loved interacting with them and helping them in any way that she could. She figured it was only a matter of time before someone took notice.

Feeling the need to stretch her legs and burn off some excess energy, Leslie got up and started to take a long walk within the building, eventually finding herself knocking on the door of Ben’s new, temporary office.

“Come in.”

“Hey, do you have a minute?” she asked, stepping into the room.

“Yeah, of course. Have a seat.”

“Thanks. So, liking the new office?”

Ben chuckled. “Well, beats the hell out of sharing space with 5 other people in that old conference room. But then again, having my own office means that this is going to take a lot longer than any of us had hoped.”

Leslie nodded and looked around the bare room. “Love what you’ve done with the place,” she said dryly. “You have a real eye for decorating.”

“Ha ha, very funny. I’m not much for personalizing my office space. I’ve had the same office on the Border for years, and it’s barely a step up from this one.”

Leslie noticed the back of a lone picture frame on the corner of his desk, the only bit of personalization in the entire room.

“Well, at least you have a picture. I guess that makes you somewhat human. What is it? Your family? Uhm, girlfriend?” She wasn’t sure why that last thought made her a bit sick to her stomach.

“What? Oh, no. No, uhm, no girlfriend.” he picked up the frame and handed it to her. “I guess you can call it a family photo.”

Leslie looked at the picture and had to hold in her gasp. She didn’t expect to see the young, smiling faces of Ben’s old squadron staring back at her. The oldest member couldn’t have been more than 25 years old, the group of them in full fatigues. She could see Ben kneeling in the front row, holding a handmade ‘ICE Town’ sign.

“That’s one of the few pictures we took of all of us together. Our Lieutenant had just starting calling the camp ICE Town, so we made a sign. That’s me holding it, in case you couldn’t tell.”

“Oh, I can tell,” she smiled. “Your face hasn’t changed all that much. You have the same cocky smirk and everything.”

“Thankfully, I have a little less acne now.” Taking the frame back from Leslie, Ben gently put it back on his desk. “Now, what did you want to talk about?”

“Just checking in to see if there were any updates. I’m going stir crazy in here.”

“Unfortunately, no. We haven’t made any progress.”

Leslie slumped in her seat and groaned. “So the odds of me being able to leave are…?”

“I can’t presume to tell you what to do, but I would highly recommend that you not go out into the public unless absolutely necessary.”

“I am very tempted to not listen to your advice.”

“If you do go out, security on you will have to be doubled, at least, and even then there’s no guarantee of your safety. Plus, added security certainly won’t go unnoticed.”

“Well, I’m sure never being seen again won’t go unnoticed either.”

“I’d rather it get noticed because you’re safe.”

“Are we still convinced that these threats are that serious? I mean, I haven’t received a note since you’ve arrived. Maybe whoever it was got scared and gave up.”

Ben shook his head. “No, this guy-- he’s too cocky, too driven. He’s gone through too much trouble already to just give up. I doubt this was something he decided to do out of the blue. He most likely got the job here with intention of doing something like this, and we’re not even sure if this is the work of just one individual. Plus, he knew Chris and I were coming. He mentioned it in his letter as a challenge. We didn’t chase him away. He’s either trying to lull us into a false sense of security, or we’ve just made it a little harder for him to make his next move. But believe me, it’s coming.”

With a huff, Leslie crossed her arms. “This is ridiculous. I’m the President of Pawnee, and I’m not even allowed to leave this building. Not only do I feel like a prisoner, but I’m so bored, I can’t stand it.”

“I never thought I’d hear the leader of a country say she was bored.”

“I have it worked out so that I spend at least a third of my time out of the office actually doing things. In the past month, I’ve updated all of our policies and procedures three times, made fifteen new idea binders, seven scrapbooks, and wrote four new bills.”

“That’s….alot.”

“I just-I just feel so limited, so tied down. I can’t even do my job properly. Ben, the one thing that I value over everything else is my ability to serve and protect Pawnee, and now I can’t even do that anymore. God, who the hell is doing this to me?!”

Ben reached across his desk to grasp Leslie’s hands and gave an encouraging squeeze. “Hey, it’s okay. I was brought here to help solve this, and I swear to you that I will do everything that I can to make sure that we catch whoever is responsible.”

Leslie smiled weakly as her eyes locked with Ben’s. She hadn’t realized just how lovely his eyes were, a warm chocolate brown and so full of sincerity. Leslie was used to receiving false promises, she was in politics after all, and she had perfected the art of reading people over the years. But looking into Ben’s eyes, she knew that he meant every word that he said.

There was another flutter in her stomach, and she quickly pulled her hands away, her gaze dropping to her lap. “Uhm, thank you. I know you’ve been working nonstop.”

“No need to thank me, honestly. This is probably the most important assignment I’ve ever had and I--” The shrill of Ben’s phone cut him off. “Oh, excuse me, sorry. Hello, this is Ben Wyatt.”

Leslie could vaguely hear the always exuberant voice of Chris on other line.

“Uh huh,” Ben said into the receiver, “Yeah, that should be fine. No, she’s here. We’ll be right over.” He hung up the phone and gathered the pieces of paper on his desk into a neat pile before placing them into his padfolio. “That was Chris,” he said to her. “They moved up the Security meeting, so if you’re ready?”

“It’s not like I have anything else to do. Let’s go get this over with.”

Leslie followed Ben out of his office and down the hall towards the large conference room, trying not to notice how great his butt looked in that uniform.

~~~

Leslie usually liked meetings. Hell, she loved them. Brainstorming sessions, updates on various projects and world events, lively debates--all of her favorite things.

Unfortunately, this meeting was nothing of the sort. No, this meeting was pretty much about all of the new and exciting ways that Leslie’s independence was going to be stifled this week.

Given that the threats were most likely made by someone within the government, Leslie’s personal security had been increased even inside the Capitol Building. There were very few areas that she was allowed to go unattended, and every aspect of her security detail was meticulously planned out. To avoid anyone catching on to the routines and schedule, the plan changed on a weekly basis--hence, this meeting.

The meeting itself was only attended by Leslie, Ben, Chris, General Trumple, and Andy, who would then relay the plan to the few agents assigned to her that week.

The four men were hovering over several blueprints of the Capitol Building, most likely planning the newest route that she would be taking from the annex that housed the President’s Quarters to the main building.

“Oh, how about this,” Andy interjected. “We go around this way and cut through the kitchens. We can throw anyone off by backtracking a little, and we also get breakfast on the way. It’s really a win-win for everybody.”

“No, I’d rather not,” Ben said. “We haven’t finished running checks and interviewing all of the kitchen staff yet. I’d rather we cut through an area that we’ve already cleared of potential suspects.”

“It looks like we’re running out of different routes,” Trumple added.

“If we leave the annex from the east facing doors, we’ll eventually run into the south hall that will spit us out just beyond the Department of Transportation. From there we can take the back freight elevator up to my office.”

Ben scrunched his face in confusion at Leslie, looking back and forth between her and the blueprints.

“You won’t find it on that,” she continued. “The south hallway was purposely not included on the blueprints as an added security measure.”

“Then how-”

“I grew up here, remember? I’m pretty sure I know every nook and cranny of this entire building. I know that there are at least three other corridors not in the blueprints either.”

Chris looked over and gave her his trademark smile. “President Knope, that is literally the best plan that I have heard yet. Tomorrow, we will have the agents familiarize themselves with the route and implement it next week.”

“Wonderful. Now, if you’ll excuse me, gentlemen, I have a dinner date with Ann.”

~~~

Over the last month, Leslie has had to make a fair amount of concessions, but it would be a cold day in hell when she’d give up her quality Ann time. Now, instead of meeting for breakfast every Thursday, they choose an evening at random and have dinner.

The two were seated in Leslie’s office, Ann eating her salad until she noticed Leslie simply pushing her food around on her plate.

“Hey, you okay, Leslie?”

“I guess,” she shrugged. “I’m just getting really sick and tired of all of this. I mean I’m practically under house arrest. In the rare event that I do leave the building, I’ve got like fifty agents surrounding me. I can hardly walk around inside without escorts, and I’m barely able to even do my job anymore, Ann. What if it takes them months to find out who’s responsible? It’s barely been three weeks, and I’m going crazy. Ben’s not making it easy for me to try and convince him to give me a little more freedom.”

“To be fair, someone is trying to kill you, and they are probably in a very good position to do so.”

“Yeah, well, this is slowly killing me. Either way, mission accomplished.”

Ann frowned. “Don’t even joke like that. Have you heard anything new? Have there been any breaks in the investigation?”

“Nope, nothing. They’ve been interviewing people and running checks like crazy, but nothing is panning out. There isn’t any new intelligence coming in either, which is weird. Ben says that the lack of new intelligence is what worries him the most, actually. The fact that there are absolutely no leads whatsoever defies logic. He’s almost convinced that the threats were made by someone with Eagletonian sympathies, all that ‘Pawnee will be returned’ nonsense, yet this doesn’t fit the M.O. of the known extremist groups.”

“Maybe it’s just one whackjob working on his own and not tied to any group?”

“See, I thought that too, but Ben isn’t so convinced. He was saying that most extremists seek out others of like minds. If he isn’t an active member of a group, he would at least frequent chat rooms or websites or something. Ben’s department monitors those types of communications very frequently but haven’t found anything that they think belongs to our guy.”

Ann looked like she was going to be sick, pushing her plate of food away. “I don’t get it. This is like something out of a movie. I mean, anytime someone so much as gossips about you on the telephone, we know about it, yet someone working right here in this building is leaving you death threats, and we have no idea who it is.”

"I don’t get it either, but Ben’s been working practically around the clock, so hopefully we’ll find out something soon.”

“So Mean Ben is actually good at things besides pissing people off?” Ann asked with a smirk.

“Oh, come on, I called him Mean Ben once. Besides, he’s lightened up a lot, and he really does know what he’s doing. That tough guy thing is just his way of getting information. He’s actually not too bad.”

Ann crossed her arms and grinned. “Uh-huh. Do you realize that there are probably hundreds of people actively investigating this, and the only person I’ve heard you mention is Ben. Several times actually.”

“So what? He’s one of the leads, and he has the most experience. Plus, he’s also the one giving me most of the information.”

Ann didn’t say anything, she just raised her eyebrows.

“Oh, no, Ann. Don’t give me that look. Put it away.”

“Look? What look?”

“That look that says that you don’t believe me and that I’m just making excuses. I know what you’re implying, and I am not interesting in Ben. He’s here to find out who’s trying to kill me, for crying out loud. That would be such a conflict of interest, it’s not even funny.”

“So, you’re the president. Who’s gonna say anything?”

“That’s not the point,” Leslie huffed. “Besides he’s stationed at the Border, remember? As soon as he’s done here, he’s going back, and I’ll probably never have a reason to see him again. Now, can we please change the subject.” Leslie’s voice had grown progressively higher and she was now breathing harshly, obviously upset.

“Hey,” Ann said softly, getting up to pull Leslie into a hug. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“I know,” Leslie sniffled. “I’m just really so frustrated with everything, and someone is trying to kill me, and Ben is kinda cute but nothing can happen or it could mess everything up, and I just wish the last month was some kind of nightmare that I will wake up from soon.”

Ann continued to rub soothing circles across Leslie’s back until she calmed down.

“Feeling better?”

“Yeah, thanks. I just needed to vent. Thank you for being so amazing.”

“Anytime for you,” Ann smiled. “It’s getting late, and I should probably be getting home soon, unless you’d rather I stay a little longer.”

Leslie waved her off. “No, I’m fine. You go home and get some rest. You’re wonderful, and I love you.”

“Love you, too. You aren’t going to stay here all night, are you?”

“No, I just have a few things to finish up here, and then whoever is on the other side of that door will escort me home.”

“Just promise me you’ll go home soon and try to get some sleep.” Ann gave Leslie one last hug before leaving.

Thirty minutes later, Leslie gathered her things and left the office, but instead of one of Andy’s agents standing guard, she was shocked to see Ben there instead.

“Hey, what are you doing here? I thought Rich was escorting me tonight,” she asked as they started walking towards the President’s Quarters.

“He was supposed to, but his wife went into labor. I volunteered to cover for him so he could be with her.”

“Stacy went into labor?!” Leslie practically squealed. “Oh, that’s so exciting. I have to tell April to send them over a care package tomorrow. On second thought, I should probably do it. God only knows what she’d give them.” She noticed Ben giving her an amused look. “What?”

“Sorry, nothing. It’s just, I don’t know, you’re always surprising me, that’s all. Not only do you seem to know the hundreds of people that work for you personally, but you apparently know their families and send them personalized gifts. I just never expected that.”

“Well, you’re one to talk. Since when do members of Army Intelligence cover for Security Agents and do guard duty?”

He shot her a crooked smile. “I’ve been known to do a good deed every now and then.”

“Yeah, but I don’t know if I feel too safe right now. I mean, what good is an Intelligence Officer gonna be if I need protection?” she teased.

“Need I remind you that I am a highly trained military officer. I might look scrawny, but I know ten ways to kill a man with my pointer finger alone.”

Leslie tried to suppress her laugh but failed miserably, Ben eventually joining in.

“So, are you covering for Rich’s entire shift?” Leslie asked once her giggles subsided.

“No, just until they find someone to come in and take over. Hopefully within the hour another agent will take over the post at the annex, but until then, you’re stuck with me.”

“I’m sure I can think of worse things. So, uhm, tonight on the History Channel they’re airing the third part of a series on influential women in politics during the 20th century, and I was planning on watching. If you don’t feel like standing outside my door for the next hour, you’re more than welcome to watch it with me.”

Her hands were shaking. Why were her hands shaking? She was just asking Ben if he wanted to watch television since he had to stay with her anyway. It wasn’t a big deal. Stupid yet beautiful Ann, getting strange ideas into her head.

“I’m beginning to wonder if you’re a mind reader. I’ve been watching that series for the last two nights and was just getting bummed out because I’d miss tonight’s show.”

“You’ve watched all the others?” She almost couldn’t believe it.

“What, a guy can’t watch documentaries on women in politics? I’m a huge history buff,” he replied as they approached her door

“Well, aren’t you full of surprises today?”

“Yeah, well, you know--”

He stopped abruptly, throwing his arm out to prevent Leslie from walking past him. She followed his gaze and saw that her door was slightly ajar.

He put his finger in front of his lips, wordlessly telling her to be quiet. Her inquisitive expression soon changed to one of fear when she saw him pull his gun from its holster.

He grabbed her arm and took her back to the other hallway as quickly and quietly as he could.

“Leslie, I want you to call Andy right now and have him come here immediately with backup.”

“Ben, what-”

“Just do it. I’m going to check and make sure no one is still here and waiting around inside your quarters. I’ll be right back, okay?”

Before she could respond, he was gone. She peered around the corner and saw him run down the hallway and through her door, his gun poised and ready. She pressed herself against the wall, calling Andy just as Ben had instructed.  

Oh, God, had this bastard had infiltrated her home now? It was the last place that she had felt safe, and he had taken that from her, too.

What was taking Ben so long? He should have been back by now, she thought to herself. A million worst-case scenarios ran through her head at that moment. She pictured Ben lying dead in her home and this asshole coming to her to make good on his threats.

Ben ran around the corner, and Leslie screamed in surprise.

“God, I’m sorry,” Ben apologized, her shriek having startled him as well. “Whoever it was is long gone now. Did you call Andy?”

Leslie nodded, still trying to calm her racing heart. “Yeah, they should be here in a few minutes.” He looked at her, his face still very grim. “What? What is it, Ben?”

He reached into his pocket and pulled out another note.

“I found this inside.”

 

_Your time is running out. I’ve found you, but you won’t find me._


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The note aftermath, drama, and angst

 

 

It was three o'clock in the morning, and Ben hadn’t slept in well over twenty-four hours. His jacket had long been taken off, the sleeves of his dress shirt now rolled up to his elbows. His deodorant had probably quit working three or four hours ago judging by the smell and sweat stains under his arms, and his hair was a mess from the countless times he ran his hands through it in frustration.

The conference room was alive with activity, Intelligence and Security Officers running in and out, compiling any data that was available. They had searched Leslie’s home with a fine tooth comb, looking for any evidence that could have been left behind by their suspect. While it would still be several days before they had every piece analyzed, Ben wasn’t convinced they’d find anything of use.

Leslie sat in the corner of the room, her arms crossed as she stared at the wall. Every few minutes he would glance at her out of the corner of his eye, almost on reflex. She was trying to portray an air of cool confidence for the sake of the team, but he knew better. She was petrified.

He thought back to right after he found the note in the annex, the way her hands shook as she took the paper from him and read it. All color had drained from her face, and her lower lip started to tremble.

He had never wanted to hug someone more in his entire life. Just wrap his arms around her and tell her everything was going to be alright. But even if that wasn’t completely unprofessional, would it even be the truth? Would everything be alright? Whoever this bastard was had just broken into one of the most heavily secured places in the country, which just so happened to also be her home.

“Alright everybody, listen up,” Trumple shouted over the voices in the room. “As many of you know, at approximately 20:30 last night, Major Wyatt was escorting President Knope back to her quarters when it was noticed that her door had been left ajar. Major Wyatt went inside to investigate and found that our suspect had indeed entered the annex that evening and left behind another threat. The premises was thoroughly swept for evidence, and samples were sent to the lab for further investigation. Right now, our top priority is to ensure President Knope’s safety.” He looked over at Andy. “Director Dwyer?”

“Ladies and gentlemen, and others. It appears that we have a mole, or ‘spy’, within our government. Your mission is to protect President Knope at all costs, and you have no choice but to accept this mission. Our security efforts will be increased, doubling the number of agents doing 24/7 patrolling and surveillance of the President’s Quarters and surrounding areas.”

One of the agents raised her hand. “Has any new information been uncovered after the most recent incident?”

Chris stood up and stood next to Andy at the front of the room. “At this time, no, but any possible evidence has been sent to the lab, and we hope to have answers within the next few days. So far, our suspect has been very good at covering his tracks, but he took a very big risk tonight. We can only hope that his cockiness lead him to make a mistake.”

Ben shook his head and made a face. “Did you want to add something, Major Wyatt?” asked Trumple.

“Yeah, our guy took a very big risk breaking into the annex, but he knows what he’s doing. Every move he’s made so far has been meticulously planned out. We can hope that his arrogance lead him to make a mistake, but he’s not your average criminal. These types of people aren’t on your typical power trip.”

Trumple didn’t look convinced. “Then how do you explain his taunting? Sounds like he’s on some kind of power trip to me. He’s daring us to catch him.”

Ben mulled over what the the General said, lost in his own thoughts. He knew they were dealing with an extremist, but his M.O. just didn’t fit. Unless...of course. How could he have been so stupid?

“He’s daring us to catch him because he knows we can’t.”

“And how do you figure that, Major?”

“Because whoever is delivering these notes isn’t the same person that’s been writing them. We aren’t dealing with one person. Whoever the inside man is has been good so far, but regardless, the real person sending these threats doesn’t care. He can taunt us because he thinks we won’t be looking for him. He figures that even if we do find who’s been leaving the threats, he’s still safe. The guy we’ve been looking for is nothing more than a puppet.”

“Even if that is true, we find the mole, we are one step closer to finding who’s responsible.”

“No, you don’t understand. Just because he isn’t the mastermind doesn’t mean he doesn’t have the same ideologies. He knows that if he’s caught, he will be charged with treason. He’s willing to die for his cause because he believes with all of his heart that he is doing the right thing. He won’t give up any information.”

“Major, none of what you’re saying has any basis,” Trumple argued. “Right now we have to follow the facts and go by whatever evidence we have.”

Chris tried to come to Ben’s defence. “General, with all due respect, but Major Wyatt has extensive knowledge-”

“I don’t care what kind of knowledge he has. Right now we are combating the highest possible threat, and chasing after imaginary cult leaders instead of focusing on the evidence that we do have isn’t going to protect President Knope’s life.”

“And focusing on a low level delivery boy isn’t going to either,” Ben yelled, his face getting red with anger. “Do you really think that our suspect is the only person on the payroll? No one hellbent on bringing down an entire government is gonna put his eggs all in one basket. You take down one of his pawns, he’ll just bring in another.”

“That’s enough, Major,” Trumple shouted.

Ben took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. “Sir, I understand your position, but trust me, no one knows more about extremist ideology and their group structure like I do.”

A young agent snickered in the back of the room. “I bet you do,” he mumbled.

Ben’s fury was back with a vengeance. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean, Agent?!”

“Oh, please, don’t act like no here knows who you are. Some of us might not have been old enough to remember everything about ICE Town, but we’ve heard stories. And just because you were cleared, doesn’t mean everyone’s convinced of your innocence. How do we know that you aren’t purposely trying to divert our attention with your crazy ideas so that you can succeed where you failed 20 years ago.”

“Agent!” Andy reprimanded. “Stand down. You’ve already guaranteed yourself a very long suspension. One more word from you, and you can start looking for a new job.”

“How dare you,” Ben said in a threateningly low voice. He started to walk towards the agent, but Chris held him back.

The room filled with commotion, everyone seeming to have forgotten that Leslie was in the corner until she stood up and shouted. “Enough. Everyone.”

The room grew quiet almost instantly.

“Thank you. Now, tensions are very high right now, and we can all use sleep. I am putting a stop to this meeting right now.” She looked over at the young agent and narrowed her eyes. “You had no right to say any of those things to Major Wyatt. You are very lucky that Director Dwyer already handed down your punishment, because I would not have been so lenient. If I hear anyone else make remarks about the Major similar to the ones we’ve just heard, they won’t be as fortunate. Do I make myself clear?”

The agents in the room nodded, the one looking like he was about to shit his pants. Ben might have found it funny if he wasn’t trying to control the urge to strangle him.

“Good. Now, I want all of you to go home, and be back here at 0900 hours. Only Director Dwyer, Major Wyatt, Lieutenant Colonel Trager, General Trumple, and myself are to remain behind. You are dismissed.”

After the agents filed out of the room, Leslie turned to the remaining men.

“Now, I have had a very difficult day, and I would like to leave now. What do we have to do now that can’t wait until morning?”

General Trumple cleared his throat. “Well, Ma’am, we’ve already set up the constant guard around the annex. My recommendation is that someone be assigned to you at all times. I know how much you’ve resisted it in the past, but I insist that we assign you a personal bodyguard.”

Leslie groaned.

“I’m sorry, President Knope, but I have to agree,” Chris said.

Andy shrugged reluctantly. “Me too, boss.”

“Ugh, fine.”

“Awesome! I have a list of agents that I can recommend. I’d offer the services of Bert Macklin, but he’s currently tied up.”

“I appreciate that, Andy, but I want someone that I already know and trust. I want Ben to do it.”

Out of the four men, Andy was the only one who didn’t look the least bit shocked by the news. Ben swore he must have misheard her.

“Madame President, I don’t think that’s the wisest idea,” Trumple tried to argue.

“Why not? He knows how these people think, and he was able to protect me today. More than that, I trust him, and I want him for the job.” Ben froze when she looked him in the eye. “Unless, of course, Major Wyatt is unable or unwilling to do so?”

Ben was pretty sure he was gaping like a fish, unable to form words right away. “No, not at all. I mean, I’m more than willing.”

“Won’t this interfere with your investigation?” Chris asked.

“Most of my work now is data compilation and can be easily done via my laptop. As long as we stay within the Capitol, that shouldn’t interfere with my job at all. The very few instances where we have to leave, I can make arrangements and make myself available.”

Chris plastered a grin on his face and clapped. “Then it’s settled. From now on, Ben will be President Knope’s personal guard. We already have escorts set up for President Knope this evening, but we can finalize the arrangements tomorrow morning. Now, let’s all go home and get some rest.”

Chris left the room, followed closely by Leslie and Andy, her escort for the evening. Just before Ben walked out of the door, Trumple caught him by the arm. “Now, I do believe that you mean well, and I know that Leslie trusts you, but if you get sloppy, and she so much as gets a scratch on her because you screwed up, I will have you court-martialed and dismissed so fast you won’t know what hit you.”

He left without another word.

~~~

“Are you sure about this, Ben? Once we start, there’s no going back.”

“I told you, Leslie, I’m sure.”

“I just want you to be 100% positive. It’s not going to be easy, and I don’t want you to regret your decision.”

“You were very clear about the risks involved. I’m ready and willing.”

“Okay. Do you have protection?”

Ben looked down at himself. “Is this not enough?”

Leslie circled him, eyeing him critically. “It should be if you’re careful, but like I said, my baking binges can get messy.”

Ben smoothed the the apron he was wearing over his clothes. “I’ll take my chances.”

Leslie clapped her hands. “All right! Let’s get baking. You preheat the oven, and I’ll get the eggs and flour.”

Ben had been Leslie’s personal bodyguard for the past few weeks, and they quickly fell into their own routine. They spent most of the day in her office, each working in their designated spaces. He would escort her to any of her various meetings, participating when necessary.

The only time he spent away from her were the evenings when a different set of agents were assigned to her. That’s not to say that Ben hadn’t also spent his fair share of time with her in the annex. If she was home between the hours of 6 AM and 8 PM, Ben was there right along with her, just like tonight.

But spending over twelve hours a day with her didn’t change the fact that he still found himself missing her when he went home.

In these last weeks, Ben saw several sides of Leslie that he never knew existed. He’d seen her tough and driven, yet caring and understanding; full of plans and ideas, yet always willing to listen to the input of others (whether she agreed with that input was a different story entirely). Two weeks ago, she even managed to lead a Staff Meeting with a fever of 102 degrees.

Truth be told, he was in awe of her.

Sometimes he had to pinch himself to make sure this was real. Although it wasn’t under the best of circumstances, he now spent over 5o% of his time with the president of his country. He shared office space with her, and she asked him his opinions on snack foods. Just the other night they sat together on her couch to watch a movie and shared a bowl of popcorn. He found himself eating the snack not because he was hungry, but because he loved to feel her fingers brush his when they both reached into the bowl at the same time.

Leslie had chosen him to be the person she trusted with her life; her was sure that there was no greater honor.

And now he was dressed in an apron in her kitchen, ready to assist her in her latest baking adventure.

“So, Leslie, what exactly are we making?”

She was rummaging around in her fridge, her voice muffled. “Uhm, probably some cookies, brownies, bread, and my famous Leslie’s Toffee Surprise.”

“Oh, that sounds...difficult.”

“It’s not really that bad, and you should feel honored. I’ve only shared my secret toffee recipe with Ann.” She walked towards him with an armful of ingredients, closing the fridge door with her hip. “You’re on a special list.”

He was grinning like an idiot and he knew it. “Yeah? Well then, I feel very privileged.”

“You should.” She placed the ingredients on the kitchen counter. “So, have you ever baked anything before?”

“Uhm, I’m not really much of a baker. I cook sometimes. Make a pretty mean calzone.”

She made a face. “No offense, but calzones are pointless. They’re basically pizza that’s harder to eat.”

“Okay…”

“Anyway, baking is nothing like making calzones. Mainly because people actually like baked goods. But lucky for you, I’m an expert. Just do what I tell you, and we’ll be fine.”

“I’m putty in your hands.”

An hour later, the cookies were in the oven, and Ben was kneading the dough for the bread.

“Hey, Ben, how are you doing over there?”

He wiped his brow with the back of his hand. “Uhm, I think I’m doing okay. How’s that brownie batter?”

“Perfect, as usual.” He guessed that she sampled some of the treat, the moan of pleasure that she let out sent shivers down his spine. “Oh, God. Ben you have to have some.”

He wiped the flour from his hands on a dish rag and walked over to her. She lifted the spoon from the bowl and brought it to his lips. He kept his eyes glued to hers as he wrapped his lips around the utensil.

“Wow, that is some damn good batter.”

“See, I told you.”

“I never doubted you for a second.”

She turned from the bowl to fully face him, and burst into laughter.

“Wait, what’s so funny? I’m missing something.”

“I’m sorry, Ben,” she gasped between giggles. “But it looks like you got into a fight with the dough and lost. Your hair is covered in flour.”

He didn’t have the time to be embarrassed before her hands were wiping flour from his hair, her smile never faltering.

“You’re such a mess.”

He would gladly dump a five-pound bag of flour over his head if it got her to laugh like that again--or run her hands through his hair like that.

“Oh, and you’re so much better.” He reached out and wiped the small bit of batter from the corner of her mouth, showing her his chocolate stained finger. “Someone’s a messy eater.”

He almost died when she grabbed his finger and stuck it in her mouth, sucking off the chocolate.

He stared at her, his eyes wide and mouth gaping. She just giggled and shrugged, clearly under the influence of her sugar high. “Sorry, but that batter is just too good to waste.”

The timer on the oven went off, startling them apart from one another.

“Yay, the cookies are done. You go back to that dough, and I’ll put the brownies in. And try to be careful with that flour. Don’t make me have to get it out of your hair again.”

The offer was far too tempting to pass up.

~~~~~~

“Ben, should I order pizza or sandwiches for the Staff Meeting today?”

“Pizza. We had sandwiches the last time,” he replied without looking up from his laptop.

“Yeah, that’s right. Good memory. Okay, so the snacks should be coming soon and everyone should be here in about five minutes. Now, where are my notes?” Leslie mumbled to herself.

Ben noticed that she had a habit of talking to herself. It took about a week before he realized that 60% of the time she was talking out loud, she wasn’t actually speaking to him. Now, he more or less was able to tell the difference and tune her out.

“Ugh, where are my damn notes? Ben, do you know what I did with my notes? They’re not where I usually put them. Did you move them?”

“No, I didn’t. You put them in the second drawer on the left hand side because the right hand drawer was where you were storing the overstock of Leslie’s Toffee Surprise.” His eyes still never left his screen.

“Ah, yes, here they are. Thank you.”

“Mmhmm.”

April was the first to arrive in the conference room, and within minutes, the rest of Leslie’s staff followed suit, as did a member of the kitchen staff with the pizza.

“Hello everyone and thank you for coming,” Leslie started. “Before I open up the floor, Ben wanted to give everyone an update on the investigations. Ben?”

“Thanks, Leslie. We got the lab results back from the samples taken from the annex, and nothing conclusive or useful was found. No out of the ordinary fingerprints, hair or skin samples, nothing. We are continuing to run checks and interview Capitol employees, but so far we are at a dead end. Thankfully, there have been no new threats made against President Knope since that evening.”

“Maybe it’s because they’re scared of my bodyguard,” Leslie teased.

He smiled bashfully, silently praying that he wasn’t blushing in a room full of presidential staff members.

“Oh yeah, watch out big, bad world. Ben’s gonna take you down with his padfolio and lame jokes,” April deadpanned.

“Haha, very funny, April. Anyway, did you want to add anything, Andy?”

“Why, yes, thank you, Major Benjamin. As some of you might have noticed, I have been going undercover into some of the different departments hoping to see if I can scope out any new information. So far Bert Macklin has successfully infiltrated, but has been unable to report any new information.”

Donna looked over and gave him a critical eye. “Do you really think that no one knows who you are, no matter what you call yourself?”

“Uhm, I wear a fake mustache, so I’m pretty sure they’re clueless. Remember, I am a professional.”

“Okay,” Leslie cut in, “Thanks for the updates gentlemen. Now, I have a few things on the agenda today, but first, are there any other points that one of you would like to discuss?”

“I have one, actually,” Donna said. “I just received a call from Interior about the park built in memoriam of your parents. Apparently, it’s scheduled to open two weeks from now. The press has been calling them and me about whether or not you will be at the ribbon cutting ceremony and subsequent press conference like you had originally planned.”

“Of course I’ll be there-” “Absolutely not-” Leslie and Ben said at the same time, both turning to look at the other incredulously.

“Leslie, how can you possibly think that attending a ribbon cutting ceremony out in the open while someone’s trying to kill you is a good idea? Not to mention that a press conference right now would be very unwise.”

“I don’t care who’s trying to kill me or how much we are trying to hide from the press. I’m not going to miss the ribbon cutting ceremony of a park dedicated to the memory of my parents. Also, why am I just hearing about this now? The original date wasn’t supposed to be for another several months. Why has no one from the Interior been calling my office? Unless…” She shot an accusing look at April.

“Okay, so some guy might have called about a ribbon cutting ceremony one or twelve times. But he was stupid, and this sounds really dangerous, and I was scared that you would go and something bad would happen to you. Also, Ben said not to tell you.”

“Oh, did he? Well, I understand your fear, but that doesn’t give you the right to do that, okay April? You don’t keep important messages like that from me again not matter who tells you to, do you understand?”

April nodded and slumped lower in her seat, crossing her arms over her chest.

“I don’t know, Leslie. I think I have to agree with Ben. I know how important this is for you, but it’s just too dangerous,” Ann said.

“Et tu, Ann? Two weeks ago, he’s Mean Ben, and now you agree with everything he says?”

Ben looked confused. “Mean Ben?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Leslie cut him off. “Tom, what do you think?”

“Well, you know how much I think that attending these events boosts your public image, not to mention the kind of sponsorships that pop up once the President shows up at an event...But, I don’t know, Leslie. It seems a bit risky.”

“Unbelievable. What, did Ben brainwash all of you? Ron, I can always rely on your wisdom. Please tell everyone that I’m right.”

“Leslie, you know how much I respected your parents, and how much I value complete and total government openness, but is this public appearance really worth risking your life?”

“Ugh, you’re just as stupid as everyone else. Look, I don’t do this often, but I’m making an executive decision. I am going to this ceremony.”

“Leslie, I really have to stress just how dangerous this is.”

She looked over at Ben and her eyes were an icy blue, filled with fury. He’d never seen those eyes before.

“Then make it less dangerous. Isn’t that your job? Call Chris and Trumple and whoever else you need to call, and get it done. Andy, you work with them.”

“You got it, boss. I’ll make sure every available agent will be there.”

“The press is gonna notice-”

“You know what, Ben? I don’t give a rat’s ass anymore about the stupid press. I don’t care if we have to pat down and strip search every person that comes within three miles of the park. I will be there, and my decision is final.”

Ben stood there, his lips pressed firmly together. He had to cooperate--he had no other choice. “Fine,” he said hotly, “I’ll call Chris and Trumple and see what we can do.”

“Good. Now, I apologize, but I think I need to cancel this meeting and get some air. April will send you the date of the reschedule.” Leslie made a move for the door and Ben got up to follow. “No,” she said to him, putting her hand out to add distance. “I just--I can’t be around you right now. Andy will escort me instead. Is that okay with you, Andy?”

“I’m on it.”

As he watched her retreating back, Ben resisted the urge to hurl his laptop across the room.

~~~

Leslie tried to avoid Ben the rest of the day. In the rare event that they did indeed cross paths, she made it known that he was not welcome. He ended up being ten minutes late for a meeting because she made him take an alternate route. He had never been banned from walking down a hallway before, but there was a first time for everything.

He was now sitting on the couch in her living room, waiting for her to come home. Thankfully, none of the agents patrolling the annex were made aware of Leslie’s ‘No Ben Policy’, so he was allowed inside without any problems.

He froze when he heard the main door open, Leslie’s voice drifting in as she said goodnight to her escort.

“What are you doing here?” she asked when she walked into the room. “I thought I made it perfectly clear that I didn’t want to see you.”

“Well, that’s going to be hard considering I’m still your bodyguard.”

She crossed her arms. “I can always change that.”

He felt the blood drain from his face, and he jumped from the couch towards her. “Please-please don’t do that.”

“Why shouldn’t I? If this is going to work, I have to be able to trust you. My God, my life is in your hands. And until today, I did trust you. I shared my toffee recipe with you, Ben! How could you go behind my back like that? How could you ask April to lie to me?”

“I’ve been sitting here for the last two hours trying to think of a way to apologize to you. Can we please just go and sit down on the sofa so that I can explain everything? Please?”

He figured he must have looked either sincere or just plain pathetic because she nodded slightly and sat down.

“Alright, talk.”

“I am sorry, truly and deeply sorry. I know what I did was wrong and I’m not trying to make excuses for my behavior, but please know that I only had the best intentions. My only concern was for your safety.”

Leslie sighed, her face softening just the slightest bit. “I understand that. Really, I do, but what I don’t understand is why you reacted that way. I don’t know, it just doesn’t seem like you, Ben. Keeping things from me, having April lie to me. If you had concerns, why didn’t you just bring them to me first instead of lying?”

Leave it to Leslie to ask the tough questions, Ben thought. “It was a rash decision on my part, I admit that. April was already feeling uneasy about the ceremony, so when she came to me and explained everything, it was out of my mouth before I could think. I was just trying to protect you.”

“You’ve said that, but who in their right mind would think that keeping information like this from me would be the best course of action? I’ve put people in prison for less, Ben! What were you thinking?” Her voice had gotten progressively louder until she was shouting.

“I was thinking about doing my job and keeping you alive,” he shouted back. “I know how stubborn you are, and I knew that nothing would talk you out of going, so I did the first thing that came into my mind.”

“And the first thing that came into your mind was to lie?”

“The first thing that came into my mind was making sure that you didn’t do something to get yourself killed.”

“So, is that what this is all about? My life has been reduced to small, manageable bits that you can control so that I don’t die and you can keep your job? So you come out as the hero and get a nice, new commendation and promotion?”

That stopped him cold. “What?”

“Is this just some stepping stone for you? Look, I understand that I asked you to do this and didn’t really give you much of a choice. If you don’t want this responsibility, tell me right now and I can let you off the hook without any negative ramifications to your career. But I refuse to put my life into the hands of someone who’d just as soon never let me see the light of day again so he can be one step closer to earning his stars.”

He gaped at her. “Is-is that what you think that I want? What my intentions are?”

“Well, you refuse to give me an alternate explanation, so that’s the only conclusion I can come to.”

“You're wrong."

"Then tell me the truth! I want to trust you, but I can't unless you're honest with me."

The fine tether that had been keeping his emotions in check finally snapped. "Fine! You want the truth? The truth is that I don't give a damn about my job or a promotion or anything other than making sure that you're safe. I want you to be able to go out and do the job that you love without always having to look over your shoulder. I want to find whoever is behind this and kill him with my own hands for the hell he's put you through.” He sighed, his fury soon replaced by dejection. “I want--so many things, but maybe you’re right. Maybe I can’t do this anymore.”

Ben stared at his hands, silently cursing himself for his outburst. He refused to look over at Leslie.

Her fingers came into his view, slowly wrapping themselves around his wrist. “Why can’t you do this anymore?”

Her voice wasn’t angry or demanding like before. It was soft and gentle, comforting even.

“I can’t tell you.”

“Yes, you can.” Her fingers moved from his wrist to his chin, turning his head towards her. “You can trust me.”

God, those eyes. Not two minutes ago they were a clash of fire and ice, but now they were so caring, so understanding. He loved those eyes and could refuse them nothing.

“I messed up.”

“Oh, Ben, everyone makes mistakes. We can work past what happened-”

“No,” he interrupted. “I’m not talking about what happened with the people from Interior.”

Her brow scrunched in confusion. “Then what are you talking about? Please, just tell me.”

He tore his eyes away from her again. He couldn’t do this--shouldn’t do this. She didn’t need the added burden from him. Not now, maybe not ever. His heart was pounding, and he could tell her patience was once again growing thin.

“I did the one thing that I wasn’t supposed to do. People in my position, we have to remain objective and fair. We have to see everything that’s happening for what it is and not let our emotions cloud our judgement. I went behind your back and had April lie to you because I broke a bodyguard’s number one rule: don’t develop feelings for your client.”

He heard her gasp, but he still refused to look at her. “I know this is the last thing you need to hear right now, and I do apologize. This is why I was so reluctant to tell you. My feelings for you prevented me from making the right choice, and it may have cost me your trust. What if the next time it costs your life? I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if that happened. You deserve so much better than that.”

He let out another deep breath, and finally chanced a glance at her, but she just stared at a spot past him, her face was unreadable. After a few minutes, he took her silence for rejection.

“My formal resignation from this position will be on your desk first thing tomorrow.” He stood up from the couch and was almost to the door before her heard her voice, barely above a whisper.

“Is that what you want?”

“What?”

“To quit. Is that what you really want to do?”

He turned around to face her. “Honestly?”

She nodded. “Yeah, honestly.”

“No, it’s not. Even if I were to quit, my every thought would be about you and your safety. I wouldn’t trust anyone but myself to keep you protected.”

“Can you please come back here so we can talk about this?” she asked, patting the seat next to her on the couch.

He reluctantly agreed, shifting uncomfortably until she stilled him by taking his hands in her own.

“Ben, my life has been a mess lately, as you well know. Nothing seems to make sense anymore, and I feel like everything is falling apart all around me and there’s nothing I can do about it. But sometimes, when I’m with you, I forget about all of that, even if it’s just for a second. I found myself making up excuses to keep you around longer because I didn’t want you to leave me just yet. Eating popcorn I didn’t want just because I wanted to feel your fingers brush mine.” She took a deep breath. “But, it’s not going to be that easy, is it?”

“No, it’s not.”

“So what do we do?”

If it were up to him, he’d say ‘fuck it’ to everything and take her in his arms and never let go. Forget about the threats, and his job, and whatever politics that stood in their way. But it wasn’t up to him, not really. There was too much at stake. A relationship with her right now would ruin everything. He wasn’t going to jeopardize her life. He wasn’t worth her dying for.

“The way I see it, we have three options. We can pretend like tonight never happened and move on with our lives, but it doesn’t look like either one of us wants to do that. I can resign as your bodyguard, and we see whatever this thing is between us amidst death threats and political upheavals, but I really can’t bring myself to resign right now and not be involved in your protection.”

“You said there was a third option.”

“It’s only slightly better than the first, but it’s something. We keep things as they are now between us. I stay on as your bodyguard, doing my best to not let my feelings for you get in the way.”

“I feel a but coming-”

“But we won’t be able to take our relationship any further.”

He heard Leslie breath in deeply.

“Why not?” She might have been putting on a brave face, but her voice still shook.

“Because as much as I want this, it’s not worth risk. I care too much about you to let my personal feelings jeopardize the entire operation. I meant it when I said that your safety is the only thing that I care about. And God, Leslie, you’re the president of Pawnee, and I’m, well, me. People haven’t forgotten who I am, and you don’t need the kind of negative publicity that our relationship would bring. I’d only make things worse for you.”

“I don’t care about any of that. I trust you to do your job no matter what." She cupped his cheek and ran her thumb gently across his bottom lip. "And I don’t care what people might say. I know the truth about you, and that’s all that matters to me.”

God, she was going to kill him if she kept touching him like that. “But I care, Leslie. I couldn’t live with myself if our being together made your life any more complicated than it already is.”

“You can’t know that it would.”

He sighed. “It doesn’t matter. The idea that I could do that to you would be enough for me to worry, and I’d ruin everything. I think we both know how neurotic I can be.”

The corner of her mouth turned up in a slight smile. “Yeah, I guess we do.”

“It’s just, when we eventually do take things further, I want it to be done right. I don’t want anything hanging over our heads, you know?”

“When we eventually take things further?”

He flustered. “Uhm, yeah, I mean I assumed that maybe--I just thought that once this is all over, we could pick up where we left off. But if I’m being presumptuous-”

“I’d like that,” she interrupted.

“Yeah?” he grinned.

“Yeah.”

“Are you sure you’re okay with me continuing to work for you after, you know, everything?”

“Yeah. I’m still not okay with how you went behind my back, but I understand a little better why you did. As long as you promise to come to me first with everything like that, I think we should be fine.”

He breathed an audible sigh of relief. “I don’t think you know how happy I am to hear that. And yes, you have my word that I won’t pull anything like that again.” Ben looked at her uneasily. “But are you sure that you still want to go through with this park opening?”

She set her face in the stubborn and determined look that he wouldn’t admit he loved. “Yes, I’m sure. I understand the risks involved, but I will not let whoever this is bastard is intimidate me like this anymore. I can’t hide forever, and I refuse to miss something as important as this park opening.” She grabbed his hand again and squeezed. “It’s for my parents, Ben. I need to honor them in this. I want to feel like I’m making the proud, even now. Can you understand that?”

He smiled softly and gave her hand a gentle returning squeeze. “I can understand, even though I don’t think you have to worry about making them proud. I’m sure you’re doing that everyday. Regardless, we’ll do everything we can to make sure this runs safely and smoothly.”

She smiled and pulled him into a hug. “Thank you.”

He was stiff at first, mostly from shock, but soon relaxed into the embrace. He wasn’t going to over analyze this or worry. He was simply going to enjoy the feel of her in his arms, a hug from one friend to another.

Later on, he managed to convince himself that the reason he didn’t wash the shirt had nothing to do with the fact that it still smelled of her perfume.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of angst here. Also, this chapter deals with topics related to violence, war, PTSD, and suicide. PLEASE be advised if any of these elements can be triggering to you

Ann and Leslie sat in the Presidential Office, the latter having called for an emergency lunch date.

“He told you he liked you!? Then what happened?”

“Well, he said that while he cared about me very much, it was for that reason that we couldn’t be anything more than friends.”

Ann looked up from her food. “So, he likes you but doesn’t want to be with you?”

“Not exactly,” Leslie sighed. “He said that he doesn’t want his feelings for me to jeopardize the investigation or influence his job as my bodyguard. That he cares too much about me to let a relationship risk my life and career and whatever else he thinks he can ruin.”

Ann reached across Leslie’s desk to give her hand a sympathetic squeeze. “I’m sorry, Leslie.”

“He did say that once this whole thing ends, he wants to start something. Pick up where we left off last night, I guess.”

“Is that something you want?”

“What I want is to shake Ben by the shoulders and tell him he’s being ridiculous and that he’s over thinking everything, and if he tries to argue, I’d shut him up by making out with him. Oh, Ann, he was so serious and terrified of screwing up. I don’t think anything I could have said or done last night would have changed his mind.”

Ann smiled. “Wow, I’m really proud of you, Leslie. Honestly, I would have expected you to push or fight harder to try and change his mind, but you respected his boundaries and wishes. I mean it’s only temporary after all, right?”

Leslie shrugged her shoulders in an attempt to look nonchalant. “Please, Ann, I’m a grown woman that knows how to pick her battles-”

“Wait, battles?”

“I mean I knew last night wasn’t the right time, so I’m just gonna have to implement Operation: Seduce Ben.”

“No, that’s not what you have to do-”

“Sure, I mean I have to respect his wishes about not forcing a relationship, but that doesn’t mean I can’t do what I can to make him change his mind about what those wishes are. It’s just like you said.”

“I didn’t say that, Leslie-”

“Of course you did. I try even harder to make him realize what a huge mistake he’s making without forcing anything. He’ll see that I was right and he was wrong, and I won’t be the one initiating a relationship because he will come to me. Everybody wins.”

“I don’t know,” Ann said, frowning. “I think that’s playing it way too sneaky and not really doing what he asked.”

“Oh, Ann, you’re gorgeous but so naive. Sometimes you have to be just a little sneaky in politics.”

“Leslie, this isn’t politics. We are talking about Ben’s emotions. I don’t exactly know what he’s thinking, but he has very strong reasons for not wanting to take things further right now, and I think you should just respect that. It’s not forever, just until the investigation is over.”

“And when will that be? Months from now? A year? What if I don’t want to wait that long? He’s the first guy that I’ve liked in a long time who wasn’t intimidated by me or wanted to use me. He really cares about me, and maybe I don’t want to wait until some crazy extremist who’s trying to kill me get’s caught before I can make out with the guy I wanna make out with.” She finally inhaled deeply, having forgotten to breathe during her rant.

Ann didn’t respond at first, she simply walked over to Leslie and pulled her into a supportive hug. “It’s okay, Leslie. It will all work out. I’m sure of it.”

They were interrupted by a quick knock on the door before Donna came into the office, a somewhat panicked look in her eyes.

“Sorry to interrupt, but there’s an emergency meeting in the conference room, and you’re both needed.”

“Why, what’s wrong?”

“It appears we have a situation, and trust me, it’s bad.”

~~~~~

Leslie rushed down the hallway, Ann and Donna doing their best to keep up. “How did this happen? I thought we were taking every precaution to prevent this.”

“We were,” Donna answered. “I know for a fact that it didn’t come from my office.”

“Then who?”

“I’m assuming that’s what this meeting is about. My phone has been ringing non-stop all day, but I did manage to get ahold of the major publications who got their hands on the story. The Pawnee Sun isn’t talking, but Shawna Malwae-Tweep from The Pawnee Journal did agree to come down for questioning.”

“Crap on a cracker. Why do things just keep going from bad to worse?”

The trio walked into the conference room and were met by General Trumple, Chris, Andy, and Ben huddled around the table, several newspapers scattered across the surface.

Ben turned to look as her as she came towards them and tried to give her a small, encouraging smile, but it failed to reach his eyes.

“What the hell happened?” Leslie asked.

“We aren’t positive. We have someone coming in from The Journal, but as of now we have very little to go on.”

When she got to the table, she finally saw the headlines that had everyone up in arms.

All of the sordid details about the recent threats were plastered on the front pages of every major Pawnee newspaper. The timeline of events, how the notes were found, having Chris and Ben consult on the investigation--it was all there in black and white.

“I don’t understand,” Leslie said, still in shock. “No one outside of this room knew some of these details. How did everyone get their hands on it?”

“Hopefully Ms. Malwae-Tweep can answer those questions,” the General said. “If not, then I fear we might have a bigger security leak than we thought.”

Ben stared intently at the papers, one of his hands methodically rubbing his five o'clock shadow. “I don’t think the leak came from anyone here.”

“Then where do you think it came from, Major?” Trumple asked none too kindly.

“From our guy, the extremist or whoever the hell he is. He’s the one that sent them the information.”

“And why would he do that?”

“To create a panic, to throw us off track, because he’s a sadistic bastard, any one of those reasons. But it was him, I know it.”

“I don’t understand,” Leslie cut in. “Why would he put his plan out there like that? The more people that know what he’s wanting, the harder it will be to get to me.”

“He’s not thinking like that. He feels that he’s going to get to you regardless. He must have known that by going to the press he’d cause an uproar.” Ben went back to staring at the papers. “What I don’t understand is why now? He’s had all this time, so why now?” He pounded his fist against the table. “Damn it, he’s planning something, and I have no idea what it is.”

Ben’s outburst was interrupted by April knocking on the door.

“So, Shawna Malwae-Tweep is downstairs in the lobby and waiting for an escort.”

Trumple looked back over at Ben, clearly not convinced about the Major’s newest theory. “Well, finally we can interview someone who might actually give us some evidence to move forward with. As far as I’m concerned, this meeting is adjourned.”

One by one, the occupants exited the conference room until Leslie and Ben were the only two left behind. He looked over at her, his eyes sincere, begging for her trust.

“I’m right about this. I know I am.”

“I believe you.”

“I wish Trumple had as much faith in me as you do.”

“He’s just very old school, and not one for these leaps of logic without evidence. Besides, I think he’s a bit scared. I mean, it would be easier to handle if it was just some government worker trying to make a quick buck by selling the story, but a crazed extremist? Not so easy.”

Ben nodded slightly, taking one last look at the papers before shifting his gaze back to Leslie. He brushed his fingers against her wrist, sending a shiver down her spine. "How about you? How are you holding up?”

“I’m honestly not sure yet. I’m still in shock, I guess. I figured that if the story did break, my office would know about it before it got published. They know to contact Donna first when stuff like this comes up, so the fact that no one did this time...I don’t know, it’s just that everything about this is so off. I know you’re not going to like this, but I have to talk about this at the press conference for the park dedication.”

“You’re right, I don’t like it, but I already figured that. At this point, not saying anything will just make people freak out even more. Security is gonna be an even bigger pain in the ass, but we can do it.”

“Of course we can. After all, I do have the best security team there is.”

She managed to solicit a small smile from Ben, but his face soon fell and grew pensive. “Thanks, but I don’t think I should be up there with you.”

She furrowed her brow in confusion. “Why not? I thought we agreed last night that you were going to stay on as my bodyguard.” She started to panic. “You’re not changing your mind, are you? You said that you were okay with this and that we could just keep going on as normal.”

“Hey, Leslie, calm down. It’s okay.” He laid a soothing hand on her shoulder, but removed it far too quickly for Leslie’s liking. “It’s not that.” He reached out to the table, pulling out a tabloid that had been hidden beneath another paper and handing it to her. “Although after reading this, you might be the one changing your mind.”

She took the tabloid from him, the headline alone grabbing her attention.

 

Ben Wyatt: Military Hero or Undercover Terrorist? The Troubling Past of the President’s New Bodyguard Exposed

 

“What? Ben, I don’t need to read this garbage.” She tried to hand the paper back to him, but he refused.

“Please, just read it.”

Leslie sighed heavily. She really didn’t want to read whatever crap the editors over at The Inquirer decided to write about Ben. How many times did she have to tell him that she didn’t care what the press had to say about him?

She started to read the article, the first several paragraphs nothing new to her. Ben had already told her about what happened at Ice Town and how he unfairly received a lot of the blame.

Every few sentences she would glance at him out of the corner of her eye, but he refused to look her way. Instead, his eyes stayed fixed on the table, his hands fidgeting with the various newspapers.

Then she came across information that froze her heart cold. Ben’s story to her had stopped after he had been cleared of all charges, but this--this story spared no details. It spoke of his harrowing rehabilitation, the months spent in pain and agony before he could function as usual. The terrible nightmares and flashbacks that haunted his mind, both sleeping and waking. His diagnosis of PTSD.

His suicide attempt.

All laid out in print for the country to see.

Leslie could barely contain her gasp, looking up at him with tears pooling in her eyes.

“How much of this is true?” she croaked, damning her voice for betraying her.

“Enough. Let’s just say they have their facts right, it’s their conclusions that are a bit subjective and inaccurate.” He scoffed at himself. “Although, maybe not.”

This was one of those rare occasions when Leslie didn’t know what to say. She had prepared herself in case the news about the threats got out. She had even planned to defend Ben if his loyalty was questioned regarding the Ice Town Massacre, but not this. She didn’t have a binder for this.

“I don’t--how did they get this information?”

He shrugged. “I have no idea. My medical files are sealed by the military. My family are the only others who know, but I highly doubt they talked to the press. I’m an embarrassment enough to them as it is.”

At that moment, another emotion joined her sadness and incredulity: rage. Pure and utter rage. Rage at The Inquirer for being so heartless as to put Ben’s suffering on the front page. Rage at Ben’s family for not supporting him. Rage at the whole damn thing.

“How can you be so calm about this?” she almost yelled. “This is-this is unacceptable. How dare they print this. They had no right, no right at all.”

“Leslie, they’re a tabloid. It’s what they do.”

“I don’t care who they are. That’s it, I’m having Donna call the editor, and they are going to retract the story and make a formal apology. I’ll throw every last one of them in prison if I have to, but they are going to take it back.”

“You can’t do that-”

“I’m the President, and I can do what I want,” she interrupted him.

Ben started tapping his finger against the table, one of his self control techniques. Leslie knew he was doing his best to bottle whatever emotions were threatening to surface.

“I know you can, but it wouldn’t be wise. Can you imagine how that would look? The president threatening a major publication in order to retract a story and cover for her crazy bodyguard.”

“You're not crazy!” she snapped at him, but immediately regretted her outburst.”I’m sorry, but you’re not crazy. You suffered a traumatic experiences that most people couldn’t even begin to comprehend, but you made it through. You had some rough patches, but you obviously recovered well enough for the army to keep you on active duty.”

Ben pursed his lips and nodded stiffly, but didn’t say anything.

“God, Ben, aren’t you angry about this?”

The rhythmic tapping of his finger stopped, his hand curling into a fist and slamming the table.

“Of course I’m angry about this. Do you think that I want my entire life’s story put out there? Do you think I wanted you of all people to find out about it like this? But I’ve spent the better part of my life dealing with my past, doing my best to prove to everyone I’m not the Ben Wyatt that they’re reading about in the papers. I’m just so tired of fighting it anymore.”

She walked closer to him, throwing the tabloid onto the pile of newspapers on the desk.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Her voice was gentle, inquisitive but she’d respect his space if he decided to not share.

“There just never seems like the right time to tell your boss these kinds of things, I guess.”

“You didn’t have to tell me as your boss, but you could have as your friend.”

He chuckled darkly. “As if that makes it any better. I’ve already lost enough friends because of what happened. People don’t always react too kindly when they hear the truth. And it’s not like it’s normal movie night conversation. ‘Hey, Leslie, pass the popcorn. Oh, by the way, did I ever tell you that after I got blown up, it took six months of surgeries and physical therapy before I could use my arm to feed myself again?’ ”

Leslie winced as though he had struck her.

“Oh, how about this one,” he continued, “ ‘Dating? No, I haven’t really dated much since my last serious girlfriend left me because my night terrors were so bad that she thought I’d kill her in my sleep. It was bad enough that she was fucking someone who’s torso looked like it had gone through a meat grinder, but he was crazy, too.’ ”

“Ben, please-”

“No, wait, this is the best one.” He ripped off his jacket and unbuttoned the cuff of his dress shirt, exposing his wrist to her. The scars had faded, but she could clearly see the slash marks cutting across his veins--the faint dots where stitches had sealed his precious blood inside of his body.

“This was how I handled the stress. The stress of the pain, the stress of being blamed for everything, the stress of the guilt and flashbacks. I didn’t think I deserved to live anymore, not if my other brothers and sisters had to die like they did. I was on so many meds, I could have just as easily overdosed, or ate my gun, but no, I had to do it this way. One more set of scars on my body, as if it would make a difference.”

Leslie couldn’t take it anymore.

“Ben, stop!” she yelled, choking back a sob. She wasn’t going to fall apart right now. She wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of reacting like he wanted her to. “Just, stop.”

His hard face softened as he looked at her, and he rebuttoned his cuff. “That’s why I didn’t want to tell you.”

“I’m so sorry-”

He held up his hand to stop her. “Please, don’t--don’t say that. I don’t want your pity. The last thing that I ever wanted you to think of me was that I’m a coward. I don’t care if anyone else does, but not you.”

She reached forward and grabbed his hand, her thumb barely brushing against the scar she now knew was hidden beneath the fabric of his shirt. “I’m not offering you pity. I’m offering you my care and support and my friendship, but never pity. And I don’t think that you’re a coward, either. You’re one of the strongest people that I know, and I’m glad that I have you to watch my back.”

He sighed and managed a small, grateful smile before it morphed into a grimace.

“I’m sorry I blew up like that. I just haven’t had to deal with this for a while. I was tempted to not tell you about the article, but I figured you deserved to know the truth by now.” He ran a hand over his face. “God, this is such a mess. Like we need my story causing problems on top of everything else. This guy is pulling no punches.”

“You think he’s responsible for both stories?”

“He has to be,” Ben answered. “He knew that knew I was here, and he must have people in high enough places that have access to my military records.”

Leslie dropped her head and gazed at the floor. “I feel like I need to apologize for this. If you hadn’t been called in to consult, your life’s story wouldn’t be plastered across every tabloid in Pawnee.”

“Hey,” he said gently, his hand lifting her chin so she could met his gaze. “None of this is your fault. If anything, it’s my own fault for being so damn good at my job,” he teased, and she smiled in response.

“I hope this doesn’t make me sound selfish, but I’m glad that you’re here.”

“Can I tell you a secret?” He leaned in close. “I’m glad I’m here, too.”

Leslie felt surge of affection for the once broken man that was standing in front of her. A man who, despite everything he had been forced to relive in the last few hours, still put her and her opinion above everything else. These emotions brought with them a new wave of tears that she somehow managed to keep at bay.

“This is gonna sound weird but it’s not weird because you’re my friend and I treat all of my friends this way, but I really need to hug you right now, okay?”

Ben let out a somewhat confused chuckle. “Okay?”

But she hadn’t waited for an answer. She was already moving in and wrapping her arms tightly around his slight but powerful frame, burying her face into his chest. It wasn’t strictly ‘professional’, but professionalism be damned. Only moments before, she had found out that this brave and wonderful human being could just as easily not be standing here. Not because of a terrorist bomb, but because of his own pain and suffering.

He must have felt her distress because his own arms tightened around her, his cheek brushing against her hair.

“I’m sorry,” she said stepping out of his embrace and wiping the moisture from her eyes. “Here I am getting all emotional when you’re the one who-”

“Don’t apologize. Honestly, it’s nice to know that someone cares.”

Leslie jumped at the ringing coming from Ben’s pocket. He smiled apologetically before answering his phone. “Major Wyatt. Oh, hey, Chris.”

She stepped further back, attempting to look like she was giving him some privacy.

“So, you talked to Ms. Malwae-Tweep? Did she have any useful information?”

Leslie strained to hear what Chris was saying, but failed, and by the look on Ben’s face, it wasn’t good news.

“What, so the envelope just appeared on the editor’s desk? Yeah, I guess you’re right, it wouldn’t be the first time. Send it in for prints anyway, just to make sure, but it looks like another dead end.”

Ben’s face grew pale and his jaw tightened. “I see. No, I’ll tell her. We’ll be right down.”

He hung up the phone and looked at her.

“What? What’s wrong? Did they talk to Shawna?” she asked.

“Yeah, they did. According to her, the envelope appeared on the chief editor’s desk one morning. No one saw or knows exactly who sent it.”

“So, they just run every shady news story that comes across their desks?”

“Apparently, the envelope and information looked official. They thought it had been sent by someone in your P.R. department. That’s why they didn’t think to check. Plus, its a juicy story.”

She looked at him skeptically. “That’s not all, is it?”

“No, it’s not.” His shoulders slumped. “Before she left her office to come here, Shawna received an envelope that was to be delivered here to you.”

Oh, no, Leslie thought. Not again.

“It’s another note.”

~~~~~

Leslie sat at her kitchen table and stared at the wall. She was freshly showered and wrapped in her warmest, fluffiest robe, but it did little to quell the chill that ran through her.

The shower had been cleansing in both a physical and emotional way. Under the spray of hot water, she released weeks worth of pent up anger, sadness, and fear, her tears following the dirt and grime from her body down the drain. However, her earlier release of emotions did little to change the circumstances or lift her spirits.

She looked at her clock at the sound of her doorbell ringing, knowing there was a short list of people who would be bothering her at ten o’clock in the evening. She stood up and did her best to try and rub the redness from her eyes, still a bit swollen from crying.

Looking through the peephole, her assumption was confirmed as she saw Ben standing there, fidgeting with an evidence bag in his hands.

“Hey,” he said as she opened the door. “Sorry to bother you this late, but I figured you’d want to know as soon as everything came back from the lab.”

“No, it’s fine. Come in,” she said as she walked over to the couch.

She eyed the evidence bag that Ben had placed on the coffee table. Inside were two chess pieces that had accompanied the note that Shawna delivered. The black knight and the white queen.

Your move.

That’s all the note had said, but it was enough. Enough to prove that he was the one who sent the stories to the press. Enough to prove that this was an elaborate game to him.

“So this guy’s added props to his repertoire. Great,” she deadpanned.

“A true master. They couldn’t pull a single print or useful particulate off of either of the pieces.”

“At least he keeps his toys clean.”

Ben shot her a grin, before focusing back on the chess pieces. “Well, we know he’s into actual games as well as mind games. He’s just combining the two now. I assume the white queen represents you and he identifies as the black knight, some kind of dark warrior.”

“Is this supposed to mean something?”

“I’m sure it does. He doesn’t do anything without a purpose. If we think in chess terms, you’re the queen, the most important piece aside from the king. You’re what he’s after. The knight is one of the most unique players on the board because it has the ability to jump over surrounding pieces, so typical blocks don’t work. It can easily get out of sticky situations, and can either play defense, protecting the queen and king, or in this case, offense and take them out.”

“You were in the chess club, weren’t you?”

“That obvious, huh?”

“After an analysis like that, yeah I’d say so,” she joked.

“Well, if you think that’s impressive, I was even better at model UN.” He squinted his eyes. “Wait, I don’t think that made me sound any cooler.”

“Are you kidding me?” Leslie replied. “I loved model UN.”

Ben laughed at her enthusiasm. “Why am I not surprised. Although, I guess for me it was just a fun pastime. For you it was career practice.”

“Something like that,” she chuckled before nodding towards the bag on the table. “So, what, this guy is some dark, mysterious knight who’s waiting for us to make our move so he can strike? That’s a bit dramatic, isn’t it?”

“I’ll say.”

“Well, what is our next move?”

“I have no idea,” Ben sighed. “I mean, who’s to say that what we consider a ‘move’ is the same as what he does. If this is a game to him, it’s because he feels he controls the pieces. He has a strategy, and none of us have any idea what it is.”

“That’s reassuring.”

Ben ran his hands through his hair, unruly pieces now sticking up at all angles. Leslie’s heart rate involuntarily sped up just a bit.

“Sorry, Leslie. I wish I had better news. I wish I knew how to find and stop this guy.”

She nudged his shoulder with her own. “It’s not your fault. Unfortunately for us, our crazy psychopath also happens to be a genius.”

“Yeah. More brilliant than me, that’s for sure.”

“Well, I wouldn’t say that. I mean, right now he’s calling all of the shots, but you’re still able to get inside of his head. You’ve been right about everything so far, and I think you’re one of the most brilliant people I know.”

Ben just stared at her, his expression unreadable, and to be honest, it was starting to make her feel a little nervous. Had she gone too far? She honestly hadn’t planned for her compliments to mean anything more than what they were. After his revelation earlier that day, Operation: Seduce Ben was on the backburner. She was just being honest.

“You’re amazing, you know that?” he finally said.

Well, that was unexpected.

“I might have been told that a time or two,” she managed to reply coyly. “But what did I do this time to awe you?”

“No matter what, you always know the right thing to say, and after everything, you still have faith in me. To be honest, you’re the most brilliant person that I know. Like, a ninja crossed with a Jedi or something.”

Leslie couldn’t help herself and burst into laughter. She felt the earlier tension being released from her as she fell forward and pressed her forehead onto Ben’s shoulder, laughing so hard that tears started to stream down her face. Ben eventually joined in, and she could feel the vibration of his laugh through his shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” she gasped. “That was just so adorably nerdy, that I couldn’t help myself. Thank you, though. I needed that.”

She turned to look up at Ben, her head still resting on his shoulder. He was looking down at her with the softest, kindest smile that she had ever seen, and it both lifted and broke her heart.

Ben cleared his throat and slowly eased himself off of the couch. “It’s getting late, and I have to be at my boss’s bright and early tomorrow morning.”

“Boy, she sounds like a real hard ass,” she quipped as she followed him to the door.

He shrugged and winked at her. “She’s alright.”

“Well, thank you again for stopping by and keeping me updated.”

“Just doing my job,” he said before turning around and walking through the door.

“Ben,” Leslie called out to him. “I have one more question.”

He turned around and looked at her expectantly.

“What you said about the knights in chess, that they can be offensive or defensive and that he thinks he’s the black knight to my white queen?”

“Yeah…”

“I never thought that I’d ever say this in my life, but I guess that kind of makes you my white knight then, doesn’t it?”

She closed the door before he had a chance to respond, a faint smile playing on her lips.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the Park dedication rapidly approaching, enemies are revealed, plots are uncovered, and lives are put at risk.

Ben sat in his usual spot in Leslie’s office, coordinating and scheduling security for the park dedication. They had nearly tripled the usual number of agents to work the event, and all press or civilians had to pass through a rigorous screening process before being granted access badges.  
  
“Hey, how’s it coming?” Leslie asked from her desk.  
  
“Uhm, it’s coming along. Andy’s agents have been working double time trying to screen all of the badge requests. I’m almost done with the schedules and duty roster, so pretty much all that’s left is actually prepping the site.”  
  
“Awesome. Wow, I didn’t think I’d be so nervous about this.”  
  
He looked at her over the screen of his laptop. “You know you don’t have to do this. If you don’t feel safe, or for any reason at all you aren’t comfortable, we can call it off right now. Just say the word.”  
  
She sent him a grateful smile. “No, it’s not that. I mean, it’s partially that, what with someone trying to kill me and all, but it’s not really that. It’s just, it’s the first time I’m really going to be out in public since this whole things started, not to mention that the press are gonna be monsters about everything. It’s something very special to me, that’s all.”  
  
“It’s in honor of your parents. I can understand that.”  
  
“Parks have always been important to me. I can’t explain it. I’ve just always loved them, ever since I was a kid. Parks don’t care if you’re the president’s daughter or just a kid from the neighborhood. They’re there for everyone to love and enjoy.” She lost her wistful gaze and shook her head. “Anyway, I just really want this to be special, so thank you for making it happen.”  
  
This woman would be the death of him, he knew it. With every day that passed, he found more and more reasons to want to be with her, making it all that much harder to step away.  
  
“Leslie, I’m just-”  
  
“Doing your job, I know. But it’s more than that. You’re going above and beyond your job description because you actually care. I can’t tell you how rare that is.” She opened one of her desk drawers and pulled out a small box. “I kind of got something for you as a thank you.”  
  
He was speechless as she walked over to him and placed the box in his hand, doing her best to hide just how eager she was for him to open it.  
  
He took off the lid and pulled out a small, hand carved chess piece. The white knight.  
  
“My dad actually really liked chess,” Leslie explained. “He tried to teach me, but I wasn’t all that interested. He had a ton of different sets, but this one was his favorite.”  
  
“I can’t-I can’t accept this. It’s too much, really.” He tried to give the piece back to her, but she refused.  
  
“Please, it’s yours. I feel like my father would want you to have it. It’s kinda stupid, I know. A useless little chess piece--”  
  
“No,” he interrupted, “it’s not stupid at all. Thank you.” He ran his fingers over the finely carved surface. “Wow, your Dad knew his stuff. This is excellent quality.”  
  
She laughed softly. “You are holding a Ron Swanson exclusive. Only one chess set in existence, and if there’s one thing that Ron Swanson knows, it’s fine wood.”  
  
“Why am I not surprised.” He took one more look at the knight before raising his eyes Leslie’s. “Thank you, honestly. It means a lot to me that you would give me something this priceless.”  
  
Their gazes remained locked longer than even he would consider normal, but he couldn’t look away. Her eyes were so honest and full of faith--faith in him, and he was lost in them.  
  
“Well,” Leslie said, lowering her gaze and trying to hide the flush in her cheeks. “I think it’s time for some lunch. What do you think?”  
  
“Uh, yeah, sounds great. I’m starving. I have to drop off these schedules to Chris anyway, so do you want me to stop by the kitchen on my way back?”  
  
“No, don’t worry about it. I’ll just call down and have them send it up. You want your usual?”  
  
“Yeah, I think so,” he said as he gathered his papers. “Go ahead and call it in. I’ll be back in ten minutes.”  
  
Fifteen minutes later, Ben finally left Chris’s office and made a beeline back to Leslie’s. He loved Chris, but sometimes the man talked way too much. It never really bothered him before, but before he wasn’t eager to have lunch with the most amazing woman he’d ever met. Rushing down the hallway, Ben accidentally crashed into a lanky man with a thick mustache.  
  
“Oh, sorry about that,” Ben apologized.  
  
The man raised two hands, covered in plastic gloves. “Don’t worry about it. Sometimes I’m hard to see. Practically invisible. Must be a superpower.” He winked and Ben chuckled.  
  
“Must be nice. Sorry again.”  
  
He walked into Leslie’s office and found her already waiting with their food.  
  
“Wow, that was quick,” he commented.  
  
“Yeah, just got delivered.”  
  
Ben grabbed his sandwich and took a bite. “Oh, I didn’t pass J.J. in the hallway.”  
  
“The kitchen was really busy so J.J. wasn’t able to bring it up. Someone else from the kitchen staff dropped it off.”  
  
“Lanky guy with a mustache?”  
  
“That’s the one.”  
  
“Yeah, I ran into him on my way back. I don’t think I’ve seen him up here before.”  
  
Leslie dolloped more whipped cream onto her plate. “Yeah, Joe doesn’t really make the food deliveries. He usually stays in the kitchen. Don’t blame him for not wanting to come up here much though--long story.”  
  
“Ha, okay.”  
  
“Although, when I’m busy, I couldn’t tell you who’s bringing what. I swear, half the time I think the food just appears out of thin air. I feel terrible, but I hardly notice them sometimes.”  
  
Ben took another bite of his food before the words of the man in the hallway came back to him.  _Practically invisible_.  
  
If there was ever a time that Ben Wyatt could say he truly had an epiphany, it was now.  
  
“Shit.” He stood up and started pacing. “Shit, I can’t believe it. It was so obvious. God, how could I have not seen it.”  
  
“Seen what? What’s wrong?”  
  
“He even said it. ‘Practically invisible’. It’s making sense.”  
  
“It’s not making sense to me. Can you please tell me what you’re muttering about?”  
  
“It’s obvious. We were looking at everyone, even the cleaning crew, but we didn’t focus on them.” He ran his hands through his hair.  
  
“Them?”  
  
“The kitchen staff.” He walked over to her desk. “That guy, Joe or whatever. You said he had a story. What is it?”  
  
Leslie gave him a confused look, but acquiesced. “Uhm, he’s Joe Fantringham, or Sewage Joe as he’s called. He used to head the City’s Sewage Department, and was even a contender for a Federal position in wastewater management, but he’s kind of the perviest guy on earth. Got fired for sexually harassing several workers. He ended up getting a job working in the kitchen.”  
  
“Who fired him?”  
  
“Well, technically I did, but-”  
  
“That’s it. It has to be it.” Ben started pacing again.  
  
“Can you please stop mumbling and explain what it is that I’m missing?”  
  
“It’s him, Leslie. I think he’s delivering the notes. You said it yourself, sometimes you don’t even notice when they’re here. There were no prints or hair because he wears the gloves and hair net. The night before you found the note on your desk, did you have food brought up?”  
  
“Yeah...”  
  
“Who delivered it? You were here late. J.J. had already gone home right?”  
  
Leslie’s mouth dropped. “Oh my God, it was Joe. He delivered it.”  
  
“And I bet that on the days Donna and April found their notes, he had brought them their lunch, too. And hardly anyone would think to question why he’s walking around if he says he’s on a delivery.”  
  
Ben was running on pure adrenaline. The pieces were finally all fitting together in his mind.  
  
“Call Trumple. Tell him we finally have a suspect, and have him taken in for questioning. I’ll pull up his time logs and see if he was here when the notes were found.”  
  
He pulled up the employee logs on his laptop while Leslie spoke with the General. This was the biggest break they’d had in weeks, and he sure as hell was gonna follow up on it. The bastard practically gloated to him in the hallway. He didn’t think that it wasn’t going to be easy to get a confession from this guy, let alone the name of who he was working for, but it was a start.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Ben watched through the two-way mirror as Chris interrogated Sewage Joe. They had left him stewing there for hours before talking to him, but even Chris’s ‘good cop’ routine was getting them nowhere. Joe was as calm and collected as ever, barely giving Chris the slightest amount of attention.  
  
A tap on his shoulder startled him.  
  
“Anything?” Leslie asked coming up beside him.  
  
“No, and you shouldn't be here. It’s not safe.”  
  
“No way I’m leaving. I told you, I want to be involved in everything. Did you find anything useful on your own?”  
  
Ben sighed in resignation. She was stubborn. Stubborn and adorable, a deadly combo he couldn't resist.  
  
“His logs do confirm that he was here within the estimated timeframe of the delivery of the notes, and off duty when the notes to Ann and  _The Journal_  were most likely dropped off. He also used to live not far from Ann’s neighborhood, so he’s familiar with that area. It’s all pretty circumstantial, but it’s a something.”  
  
Leslie looked through the glass and shook her head. “I just can’t believe it. I mean I know he’s a douchey perv, but to be involved in something like this?”  
  
“I don’t know his entire motive yet,” Ben shrugged, “but the fact that you were the one that ended his career could have lead to some serious resentment. Plus, he doesn’t sound like a guy who respects women all that much, let alone those in authority. If whoever’s behind this exploited that…”  
  
“Well, I am getting nowhere,” Chris said as he joined them in the observation room. “He is obviously not responding well to my tactics of wooing him into a sense of comfort and security. He even declined my snack offer of fresh nuts and berries. They’re organic!”  
  
Ben rolled up his sleeves and shared a knowing look with Chris. “Well, Good Cop, I think it’s my turn, wouldn’t you say?”  
  
Chris smiled widely and gave him two thumbs up. “Go get ‘em, Bad Cop.”  
  
Leslie snorted. “Bad Cop?”  
  
“Oh, you just watch,” Chris winked.  
  
Ben walked into the interrogation room and sat across from Joe. He ignored him at first, pretending to shuffle through his papers and gather his wits. But before he could start, Joe broke the silence.  
  
“I was wondering when they’d trade in Mary Poppins for you. I was almost waiting for him to start singing about spoonfuls of sugar.”  
  
“Well, he’s very much opposed to refined sugars, so I doubt that would have happened.”  
  
Joe actually smiled. “That’s a good one, Wyatt.”  
  
“You like that? I got more. We can do this all night if you want, because we’re not leaving here until you tell me what you know.”  
  
“And what is it you think that I know?”  
  
Ben pulled out Joe’s time logs and threw the paper at him. “You were on shift when four of the notes would have been delivered within the building, and off shift for the other two.”  
  
“Circumstantial,” Joe scoffed. “Come on, you have to know more than that.”  
  
“Let’s start with motive, shall we? President Knope fired you and essentially ended any dreams you might have had for your blossoming career. Now, you already didn’t like having a woman in charge, and this just made things worse. Someone comes to you and says ‘Hey, why don’t you help me take that Knope woman out. She’s not doing Pawnee any good.’ How can you pass that up, right?  
  
“And here’s opportunity. You work in the kitchen. The food preparation gloves help eliminate finger prints, and no one would second guess a kitchen worker making a delivery. You said it yourself--you’re practically invisible. You were taunting me, weren’t you?”  
  
Instead of a look of anger, panic, or indifference, Joe was actually beaming with pride.  
  
“I am very impressed, Major. He told me you were smart, but I didn’t quite believe him.”  
  
“Who is this ‘he’?”  
  
“Now, get real. You don’t think I’m just going to up and spill my guts, do you? All this hard work to give it up to you? That’s not how we play the game.”  
  
Ben leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. “So, your boss likes games, huh? This mysterious black knight.”  
  
“Oh, you got that reference, too. You’re pretty good when you aren’t going around getting yourself blown up.”  
  
“He wants to discredit and humiliate me. Why?”  
  
“Don’t know,” Joe shrugged. “He didn’t tell me, and I knew not to ask. You don’t tell everyone the entire plan, only the parts he needs to know. I’m just the delivery man.”  
  
“So you admit that you were the one that delivered the threats,” Ben said.  
  
“Oh yeah,” Joe answered with a nod. “Three of them were while I was making lunch deliveries, so it was easy. The hot nurse lives in my old neighborhood, so another ace in the hole there. Apparently, it’s not only easy to steal government press packets, but no one notices when you walk into a crowded newspaper office. Now, breaking into the annex was a little tough, but I perfected the art of breaking and entering during my panty raid days in college. As much as I hate her, you gotta admit Knope has a pretty sweet ass. She’s got even nicer underwear. I did a little perusing myself while I was there. But I don’t need to tell you that, do I? You’ve gotta be hitting that.”  
  
Ben lunged forward and grabbed Joe by the collar, nearly yanking him across the table.  
  
“You don’t even get to think about her, let alone invade her privacy like that, you sick prick.”  
  
“I guess you aren’t hitting that,” he laughed. “You should, though. You’re wound way too tight, brother. A good, solid lay will relieve all of that tension. She might not be useful in much else, but at least she’d make a good fuck.”  
  
Ben could smell the man’s rancid breath, that coupled with his words made him want to vomit. From his hold on the collar, Ben whipped Joe out of his seat and threw him against the wall. “One more word of filth out of your mouth, and you’re gonna regret it. I swear to God, you will.”  
  
“Alright, alright, I’ll leave it alone,” he said insincerely and Ben released him. “But if you’re interested, I’d do it quickly. She might not be around much longer.”  
  
“He plans to have her assassinated.” It wasn’t a question.  
  
“He’s going to kill her, yes.”  
  
“Were you going to have that pleasure?”  
  
“Unfortunately, no. That wasn’t my move.”  
  
Ben looked at the man before him with utter disgust and rage. He could barely stomach how casually he spoke about the entire ordeal, how little he seemed to care that his confession alone guaranteed him a life sentence.  
  
“You do realize that with your confession, you’ll be put away for the rest of your life. You sure you don’t want to make a deal? Cut off some years in exchange for the name of your boss?”  
  
Joe walked over to sit down again in his chair. “Do you really think that I would have confessed everything to you without knowing the consequences?”  
  
“You’re willing to spend the rest of your life in prison so this guy stays hidden?”  
  
“I’m just a pawn, and sometimes sacrifices must be made to win the game.”  
  
Ben studied Joe’s face, cursing that cocky grin. He was unafraid and unashamed, two dangerous qualities in a suspect. Trying to break him wasn’t going to be easy or pleasant.  
  
“So, you’re just a pawn, huh?” He strode back over to the table and sat down. “Not gonna lie, this whole thing sounds pretty pathetic. I mean, you go from a high ranking government official to some kitchen worker. And even now, this ‘big scheme’ against the president? You’re nothing more than a delivery boy.”  
  
“Had you fooled,” Joe scoffed. He maintained his same pose of confidence, but Ben could see that his pride would be his weakness.  
  
“Oh, but you didn’t have me fooled, your boss did. And congrats to him, because he chose well. You barely registered on my radar until today in the hallway. You know, I even suspected the cleaning staff over someone like you. I mean, I’ve seen my fair share of extremists and terrorists and all around crazies, but you take the cake.”  
  
“You think I care what you think?”  
  
Ben shrugged. “Maybe, maybe not. Just figured I’d share. You’re going to prison for the rest of your life anyway, so it’s not like you’re going to tell your boss anything.”  
  
“I’m not going to spend the rest of my life in prison.”  
  
Ben actually laughed. A full, throaty sound that burst from his lips. “You really think that you aren’t going to rot in a cell? That you can admit to threatening the life of the president and get away with it? You’re more delusional than I thought.”  
  
“Not delusional, Major. I just know how this is gonna end.”  
  
They were interrupted by a knock on the glass. Walking to the door, Ben opened it and took the folder from an agent’s hand. He scanned through the papers as he made his way back to the table.  
  
“Well, it looks like they just came back from searching your place,” he said as he took his seat. “Are you sure you don’t want to rethink your story?”  
  
Joe crossed his arms defensively. “Why would I want to do that?”  
  
“Because according to this, they found a high powered sniper rifle and several rounds in your possession. They also found informational pamphlets about the dedication ceremony for the Robert and Marlene Knope Memorial Park, a map of the area, and blueprints for surrounding buildings. So you wanna tell me again that you were ‘just the delivery boy’?”  
  
A look of confusion and panic flashed over Joe’s eyes for a brief second before they once again turned hard. “You’re lying.”  
  
Ben pushed the folder forward, allowing Joe to read the report and see the pictures taken during the search. “Believe me, Joe. I’m not lying. I have no reason to. You’ve dug yourself into a nice little hole now. Don’t tell me you weren’t going to take credit for being the hitman, too?”  
  
Joe continued to stare at the photos, his face an unemotional mask. There wasn’t anymore fear or panic, but no pride either. He was so eager to reveal his position earlier, so why not now?  
  
“You do realize that this is now a capital offense, don’t you?” Ben continued. “Unless you tell us who your boss is and what you’re planning, you’re as good as dead. Tell us what you know, and we can work a deal.”  
  
Joe sat silently, his rapid breathing the only thing giving away his otherwise cool exterior. Ben could practically see the wheels turning in his head, trying to process everything.  
  
Ben folded his hands in front of him on the table and leaned forward. “Wanna know what I think? I think you planted those notes, and you also were going to try to assassinate President Knope at the dedication ceremony. You were going to use your ID to get into the park, maybe even work the event yourself with the caterers. Then you were going to try to slip away from the crowd, set up your gear, and kill her. That’s what I think.”  
  
Joe blinked as if he was recovering from a trance and slowly lifted his eyes to Ben’s. They were so cold and empty it sent shivers down Ben’s spine. He was expecting something from him. Pride, excitement, rage, denial, anything. But not those eyes.  
  
“You’re right,” Joe whispered and cleared his throat. “You’re right. That’s what the plan was. I was supposed to use my position to deliver the notes and then assassinate her at the dedication. It was all on me.”  
  
“So, you confess to not only being the individual responsible for delivering the threats and breaking and entering into President Knope’s home, but also to plotting an assassination attempt on the president’s life? Is that correct?”  
  
Joe once again pierced Ben with his soulless gaze. “That’s correct. And I’m not saying anything more. Charge me, arrest me, kill me, do whatever you have to do. But I’m not saying anything else.”  
  
Ben sighed in resignation, knowing that right now, Joe was going to be no further help. He looked up at the mirror and could feel Leslie’s eyes on him. A rush of compassion and warmth ran through him, as if she was reassuring him through the glass, letting him draw on her strength. He wanted it.  
  
He needed it, especially now.  
  
~~~~~  
  
“He’s lying.”  
  
Those were the first words out of Ben’s mouth once he stepped out of the interrogation room. He was met by the puzzled faces of Leslie, Chris, Andy, and General Trumple.  
  
“About what?” Trumple asked. “The evidence so far corroborates everything he’s said. He confessed to leaving the notes, and he confessed to planning an assassination. You presented him with the scenario he confessed to. We’ve got him.”  
  
“I know he did, but something’s still not right. I said that to make him tell me the truth. I didn’t necessarily believe it. He confessed to delivering the threats almost immediately. He was proud of what he had done, he was confident, knew what to say. But when I came back with the report on the search, he changed. He was genuinely shocked.”  
  
“Maybe he didn’t think we’d find out about that?” Chris offered.  
  
“That doesn’t make sense, either. He must have known that we’d search his home once we got him into custody. He was prepared for everything up until that point, so why not that? One of the most obvious things he could have prepared for.”  
  
Trumple glowered. “Get to your point, Major?”  
  
“I don’t think what we found in his home was actually his.”  
  
There were mixed reactions to his statement. Trumple openly scoffed, Chris tried his best to hide the involuntary grimace, Andy’s eyes almost bulged out of his head in surprise, and Leslie visibly swallowed.  
  
Trumple crosses his arms. “Then why did he confess? By confessing, he guaranteed himself a one-way ticket to death row. Why would he condemn himself and give up his one chance to even make a deal?”  
  
“I don’t know that, sir.”  
  
“You don’t. Well, I do know that we have a suspect who confessed to threatening and planning to assassinate the president and proof to back that confession up. We know that he was planning to use the dedication as his opportunity, and even if he is only one of many ‘pawns’, we just bought ourselves some time. This was months worth of work, and I doubt this boss of his will be able to replace him that easily to finish the job.”  
  
Trumple’s eyes grew a little softer and his posture was less rigid. “You did good, Major. Don’t let unfounded doubts get in the way of pursuing cold, hard facts.”  
  
With a nod, the General left the observation room, a choking tension still hanging in the air.  
  
Chris cleared his throat and laid a hand on Ben’s shoulder. “I have always trusted your judgement and that hasn’t changed. However, I do feel that we need to continue this investigation given the evidence that we have. You very well might be right, but we need to be able to prove it. Regardless, we’ve found who we’ve been looking for.”  
  
Ben nodded slightly and looked over at Andy, who shrugged helplessly.  
  
“Ben, man, you know I’d follow you anywhere and trust you with my life, but I have a job to do. My agents have been working like crazy to help catch this guy, and we did.  _You_  did. Well all know it’s not over yet, but we’re closer.”  
  
He could see the conflict in Andy’s gaze, practically feel him begging for forgiveness, for some kind of affirmation that he hadn’t just betrayed his friend, but Ben couldn’t bring himself to give it.  
  
He knew, logically, that he hadn’t been betrayed, that Chris and Andy, and even Trumple, were just doing their jobs. So why did he feel like he had three knives in his back?  
  
Instead, Ben continued to stare blankly at the pair and he felt another knife stab at his heart when Andy’s face fell. He had plunged that dagger there himself and he knew it, but his hurt pride wouldn’t allow him to make amends.  
  
Chris must have noticed the exchange because he quickly interrupted. “Well, Andy and I still have some information to review and more planning for the dedication. Ben, Madam President.” He smiled at the pair before leaving, and it was then that Ben realized Leslie was still there, and hadn’t said a word since he came in.  
  
He couldn’t miss her look of apprehension, and it almost made him want to weep. Her brow was furrowed and she was chewing on her lip like it was her last meal.  
  
“You don’t believe me either.”  
  
“Ben.” His name was breathy on her lips and it would have been a beautiful sound if it wasn’t laced with so much sadness. “It’s not that we don’t believe you, it’s that it just doesn’t make sense. He confessed, we have evidence that all points directly to him. He has no reason to lie right now. I just--I don’t know what else there could possibly be.”  
  
“I’m not sure either, but there’s something. He was genuinely surprised about what was found in the search. He’d been waiting for us to find him out about everything else, so why was he shocked about this?”  
  
“I honestly don’t know, Ben. Maybe he didn’t think it would happen that fast? Maybe he thought he had covered his tracks better? But the fact is that he confessed and we’ve got the proof that he’s been behind everything. We’re so close to solving this. Why can’t you be happy with what we have?”  
  
“Because there’s something else,” he shot back. “There’s something else here that doesn’t make sense and it could be dangerous. Everyone seems to think that whatever could have happened at the dedication has been averted, but we don’t know that. We can’t get sloppy now.”  
  
Leslie reached out and tugged on his arm, her thumb running gentle circles along his sleeve. “No one is suggesting that the coast is clear. We won’t do anything stupid, but we can breath a little easier. Even if you’re right and something went wrong in Joe’s plan, there won’t be time for them to start anything else.”  
  
Ben let out a deep breath, the hand not occupied by Leslie coming up to wipe his face. “It’s just whoever this ‘black knight’ is has been one step ahead of us this entire time, and I can’t shake the feeling that now is no different.”  
  
“Ben, if you won’t listen to us, listen to yourself. You said the rifle wasn’t his? Whose was it? Who could have planted everything there in the time frame between him last leaving his home and us arresting him? And do you really think this guy could possibly have predicted everything that has happened? Knowing how and when we’d find Joe, the search, his confession? How is that even possible?”  
  
“I know, I know,” he conceded. “It doesn’t seem possible, but I hate taking the risk.” He moved his hand so that he could twine his fingers with hers. “If I screw up and something happens to you--”  
  
“Hey, nothing’s going to happen to me. Not with you around. I mean, do you realize what you’ve done today? You found the person we’ve been looking for. Weeks and weeks of hard work, and you were able to figure it out. Out of everyone, you were the only one that made the connections and saw what we all missed.” She sought out his eyes. “You did it.”  
  
“To be fair, you helped, so you did it, too.”  
  
“No, not this time. I’ll admit, normally I do it, but this was all you. Take some praise, for once. You deserve it.”  
  
He smiled bashfully towards the floor, he fingers squeezing his just a little bit tighter as she mirrored his grin. She looked back through the glass at Joe, who was still seated in the interrogation room.  
  
“What’s going to happen to him?”  
  
“Well, he’s going to be officially charged and processed. We’re still going to try to get him to roll over on his boss, but I don’t know how successful we’re going to be. He really believes he’s on the winning side. He won’t sacrifice the cause. It’s not his move.”  
  
“All of these chess references makes me wish I paid more attention to my father when he tried to teach me.”  
  
“You know, if you want, I wouldn’t mind taking the time to teach you. Once everything settles down and we have some time.” He tried to make it sound like a casual offer, but even he knew he was failing miserably. Thankfully, that didn’t seem to faze her.  
  
“I’d really like that. Thank you.”  
  
“No problem. Now, as much as I love these dark, dank observation rooms, I believe we have a park dedication to prepare for.”  
  
“After you, Major Wyatt.”  
  
~~~~~  
  
The last few days had been a nightmare.  
  
Sewage Joe still refused to give up the name of his employer, and he was sticking to his story that all of the equipment found in his home did indeed belong to him. Ben had spent countless hours reviewing the evidence, trying to find something that could disprove Joe’s confession, something that would lead them to the real culprit, but he found none.  
  
Not to mention that there were several last minute preparations that needed to be made for the ceremony.  
  
The park grounds had to be thoroughly searched and secured hours in advance, emergency escape routes had to be mapped out, and the hundreds of people attending had to be given extensive background checks.  
  
Ben sat next to Leslie in the back of the Presidential Limousine on their way to the park, his hands shaking as he touched his earpiece for the tenth time in as many minutes. He rebuttoned the cufflinks on his dress blues, careful to avoid damaging the microphone hidden there. When he ran out of clothing to occupy his hands, he started tapping his fingers against his knee.  
  
Leslie looked over and gently covered his hand with her own. “It’s okay,” she whispered. “You don’t need to be so nervous. Everything’s going to be fine.”  
  
“I don’t understand how you can be so calm. This is going to be a media shit-storm. We approved over one hundred press badges. There are going to be over one hundred rabid, media hounds bombarding you with questions about me and this whole mess. Not to mention the fact that we still have to worry about someone trying to kill you.”  
  
She made a face. “Gee, thanks for that. You really know how to cheer a girl up.”  
  
Ben’s eyes bulged once he realized just how much of his own fear he projected onto Leslie. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”  
  
“Oh really?” she laughed. “I’m pretty sure that’s exactly how you meant it.”  
  
He looked properly conrite. “Okay, so maybe that is how I meant it, but I shouldn’t have but it so bluntly. It’s just, me and the media don’t get along too well. I remember I did one press conference a few years back, and it was terrible.”  
  
She nudged his shoulder and giggled. “Come on, it couldn’t have been that bad.”  
  
“Let’s just say before the end of it, I had taken off my shirt--twice, redubbed Perd Hapley as Turd Crapley, and cried. The other ten minutes were basically just me stuttering words that might not even be in the English Language.”  
  
Leslie didn’t even attempt to stifle her laugh. “Oh my God, that sounds terrible. No offense, but I’m so glad you haven’t done any official press for this. I don’t think we could afford your help.”  
  
“Your confidence in me means the world,” he joked, but his smile faltered when he looked at her solemn face.  
  
“You do know how much confidence I have in you, don’t you? No jokes, I’m serious. I know you’re nervous about everything, and you keep checking your watch waiting for the agents to check in, and you’ve just about sweated through your shirt, but I trust you. I have faith in you. I didn’t at first, but you earned my confidence. Please, it’s important to me that you know all of this.”  
  
He realized that her hand was still over his on his knee, and he turned his palm up. “I do, and it means everything. I can’t help being nervous. This means so much to you, and there are so many things that can go wrong. It’s hard sometimes, living with a constant fear of screwing up. I always have this feeling that I’ve missed something and it’ll come back to bite me in the ass. This is the most important assignment of my life, and I can’t let anything happen to you. I won’t. I’d rather die.”  
  
She squeezed his hand, and he could swear he saw moisture building in her eyes. “Thank you. I’m confident that will never happen, though. You’re too good to let something like that take you down.”  
  
“I mean it, though. I would honestly rather die than have something happen to you.”  
  
Leslie shivered. “Don’t even talk like that. It’s weird enough knowing that practically everyone that works for me does so knowing they could die for me, I don’t need to hear that from you too. I’d much rather pretend to live in blissful ignorance than think about you dying.”  
  
“If it helps, I don’t like thinking about me dying all that much either. Especially with you around to keep me company.”  
  
She smiled her brilliant smile and it felt like a swarm of butterflies were released in Ben’s stomach. She leaned over to whisper in his ear, smooth lips brushing against his skin.  
  
“You know, if there weren’t so many other people in this damn limousine, I’d say screw it to everything we’d agreed upon and makeout with you for a good fifteen minutes.”  
  
He had to bite his lip to stop the moan that threatened to break free, and he turned to face her. Their noses were centimeters apart, and he could feel her breath on his lips. He would have gladly cut off a limb to lean forward and taste her.  
  
“I’m pretty sure I’d let you.”  
  
He didn’t think her smile could have gotten any wider, but he was wrong. Her eyes were filled with pure joy, and any nervousness that was hidden away had been dispelled. He knew that giving his life for her would be the ultimate honor, but being the cause of her happiness came in at a close second.  
  
Ben’s focus on Leslie was interrupted by Andy’s voice in his ear. “Eagle Two, this is Eagle One. Do you copy Eagle Two. Over.”  
  
Ben rolled his eyes at Andy’s ridiculous nicknames. “Yes, Andy, I hear you.”  
  
“Eagle Two, please refer to the subjects by their given code names. Over.”  
  
“Copy that, Eagle One. What have you got for me?”  
  
“The perimeter has been thoroughly swept, bomb sniffing dogs have gone through no problem, and we have our snipers in position on the rooftops of the surrounding buildings. Over”  
  
“That’s great news. President Knope and I are en route to the event. Let us know when we’re clear to pull in.”  
  
“I’m sorry, you and who? Over.”  
  
Ben sighed. “ ‘I’d Be Lying If I Said I Hadn’t Thought About It’ and I are on our way.”  
  
“Roger that, Eagle Two. As of now, you are clear to arrive. Over.”  
  
“Thanks a lot. Over and out.” Ben turned to Leslie and smiled. “Everything looks good so far. We’re okay to arrive at any time. You ready?”  
  
She breathed in deeply and nodded. “Yup, ready as I’ll ever be. Nothing is going to ruin this day. We’ve all worked too hard for it and it means the world to me. I’d want my parents to be proud.”  
  
“They would be. Never doubt that.”  
  
They rode the rest of the way in silence, their hands clasped between them.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Pulling in behind the makeshift stage, Ben was the first to exit the car, a swarm of agents surrounding and greeting him. He did his own inspection of the stage and personnel before introducing himself to the Park Director.  
  
“Grant Larson? Major Ben Wyatt. I’m in charge of President Knope’s personal security. Pleased to meet you,” he said as he shook Grant’s hand.  
  
“Likewise, Major. If there’s anything else you need for us to do, please let me know.”  
  
Ben released his hand and smiled politely. “Thank you, we appreciate that.” From his position on the stage, he had a good view of the park and was thoroughly impressed. “This park is amazing, Mr. Larson. Your department did a wonderful job.”  
  
Grant beamed with pride. “Thank you very much. This is by far one of the greatest accomplishments of my career.”  
  
“I’m surprised you were able to finish it this fast. I was told the original timeline had the opening predicted for several months from now.”  
  
“It was, but a few months ago a very generous, private donation was made that allowed us to do more work more quickly.”  
  
“Oh, wow. Who made the donation?”  
  
“I wish I knew,” Grant shrugged. “It was anonymous. We tried to find out so that we could thank and honor the donor in some way, but whoever it was insisted on remaining unknown.”  
  
At that moment, Leslie walked up to them, flanked by agents, but she acted as though they weren’t there invading her personal space. She greeted Grant with a warm smile and stuck out her hand.  
  
“Hi, Grant. Always a pleasure to see you.”  
  
“Madam President, the pleasure is all mine. Thank you so much for attending the ceremony.”  
  
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world. The park is beautiful,” she beamed.  
  
Grant blushed, and Ben bit back a grin. Apparently Leslie had that effect on almost everyone.  
  
“Thank you very much, President Knope. We owe much of that to you. You were instrumental in the design process.”  
  
She looked over at Ben and smirked. “He means that I hounded him for weeks about how I wanted things to look and wouldn’t leave him alone until I was satisfied.”  
  
Ben made a face of faux-shock and clutched his chest. “I don’t believe it. That doesn’t sound anything like you,” he teased, and was rewarded with another laugh.  
  
“Yes, well my being a pain in the ass paid off. The park is gorgeous. Thank you so much, Grant. I know that my parents would be very honored.”  
  
“High praise, indeed. Now, whenever you’re ready, I can go out and make the introductions. The press are looking particularly ravenous today.”  
  
“Goody,” Ben murmured before he felt Leslie’s elbow hit his side. “Uhm, let me just check in once more with my agents and make sure we’re all set, then we’ll be good to go.”  
  
Ben waited for everyone to report in, doing his best to keep an air of calm authority despite his trembling insides.  
  
It was show time.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Ben was already situated towards the front of the stage when Leslie was introduced, the applause of the crowd deafening as she smiled and waved on her walk to the podium. He did his best to pay attention, but his eyes, ears, and mind were constantly occupied. He scanned the crowds and surrounding buildings, making sure that he could spot the agents in their correct positions. The audience was filled with smiling, happy faces. His fellow Pawneans were just as enamored of Leslie as he was.  
  
The media weren’t nearly as friendly looking. In fact, they looked like caged predators waiting for their moment to strike and devour their prey whole. Unfortunately, he and Leslie were on the menu.  
  
He tried to listen while Leslie gave her speech, he really did, but his mind refused to slow down. He’d heard it a million times already and knew it was fantastic. He could tell that just by the reactions of the crowd.  
  
The thunderous applause clued him into the fact that the speech was over, and the almost instantaneous reaction from the reporters in the front rows let him know that the press conference had begun. Questions were being shouted from all sides, and Ben had to resist the urge to cover his ears. He wished that he could though, given what some of the questions were.  
  
“President Knope, do you know who’s trying to kill you?”  
  
“President Knope, how much danger are the people of Pawnee in?”  
  
“President Knope, is it true that you’ve willingly hired a known extremist into your personal staff?”  
  
“President Knope, has Ben Wyatt been eliminated as a suspect?”  
  
Some of the reporters even yelled questions at  _him_ , but he remained stoic, refusing to acknowledge them.  
  
Leslie did her best to be as diplomatic as possible, answering questions without giving too much away while simultaneously reassuring them that their own lives were safe. She defended him fiercely, and he couldn’t help the quirk of his lips when she called one reporter a dumb idiot for suggesting that Ben had been responsible for the ICE Town Massacre.  
  
It still tore him up that she had to spend so much of the press conference defending him instead of focusing on more important issues. No matter what she said, these threats and his involvement in her life would hang over this day like a dark cloud. A day that she should be enjoying and honoring the memory of her parents was spent like this.  
  
As one reporter droned on, Ben’s eyes were once again sweeping the crowd when he noticed light reflecting off of the roof of one of the nearby buildings. He looked and saw that it was unmistakably the light reflecting off of a rifle scope. There was an immediate sinking feeling in his stomach. While he knew they had a sniper positioned there, there should have been no reason for his scope to catch the light that way unless he was aiming at the stage.  
  
It all happened in slow motion. He saw the rifle aimed directly towards the stage, and acted on pure impulse. He rushed towards Leslie and threw himself over her just as he heard the shot go off. He could vaguely hear the screams of the audience as he fell onto the floor over Leslie, his blood pounding in his ears. There were three other shots, but he barely registered the sounds.  
  
All he cared about was the woman beneath him.  
  
He tried to prop himself up on his trembling arms, but for some reason they were too weak. He looked down and saw bright red. He felt like he was about to pass out, but forced himself awake as he ran his hands over Leslie’s blouse, looking for the source of the blood. It wasn’t until he looked into her panicked eyes that he realized it wasn’t hers.  
  
It was his.  
  
His fading adrenaline allowed him to finally feel the burning ache that shot through his shoulder and down his chest. He could feel the blood sticking to his shirt, feel the life fading out of him.  
  
He rolled off of Leslie onto the floor as agents surrounded them, Leslie’s frantic face hovering above his own as she pressed her hands to his bloody chest. Hands were grasping for her from all sides, but she fought them. She was crying, begging him to stay awake, to stay here with her, but he couldn’t. He was so tired, so cold, in so much pain. He just wanted to sleep.  
  
He fought unconsciousness long enough to look into Leslie’s bright, blue eyes one last time. He tried to lift up his arm, tried to caress her cheek and wipe away her tears, but his limbs refused to cooperate, wanted to finally tell her everything that he had been too scared to share, but he had no voice.

His only consolation being that her face was the last thing he saw before it all faded to black.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath featuring Leslie, Ben, and the Innocent Cohabitation Trope.

It had all happened so fast. One minute she was answering questions about the threats and the next she felt Ben pushing her to the ground, the sound of gunfire echoing around her.

She laid there, the full weight of Ben’s body pressed against her. There was something warm and sticky seeping into her blouse, and for a split second she was afraid she’d been hit.

But there was no pain, no piece of metal lodged in her flesh. There was only Ben.

He attempted to pull himself off of her, and her eyes widened as she saw the blood oozing from his chest.

He rolled onto his back and groaned, and she immediately hovered over him, pressing her hands to the wound to staunch the blood flow. She wasn’t sure when she started crying, but her vision was blurry and she could hear her voice tremble as she begged for him to keep his eyes open.

She ignored the agents that surrounded them as soon as the shots were fired, her only concern being the man whose blood was staining her fingertips.

“You’re gonna be alright. Just stay with me, Ben,” she pleaded. “Oh, God, you can’t die on me, okay? You just have to stay awake. Please, stay awake.”

But he didn’t listen, and his eyes slipped shut.

There were several pairs of hands trying to pull her off of him, trying to take her to safety, but she fought them while yelling Ben’s name. She wasn’t going to leave him bleeding on the ground, not when that bullet was meant for her.

Emergency personnel rushed onto the stage and made their way towards the crowd that had gathered around Leslie and Ben. Among them were Andy and Chris who stared helplessly as their friend bled onto the stage.

“Madam President,” one of the EMTs called to her as he tried to gently remove her hands from Ben’s wound. “I can take over. We need to get him to the hospital, quickly.”

She nodded mutely and slowly moved her hands away but still refused to leave his side.

“Leslie,” Andy crouched down to where she knelt on the ground, “we need to get you out of here as soon as we can. It might not be safe.”

“I can’t leave him, Andy,” she begged. “Please, don’t make me leave him.”

“I won’t. They’re taking him to the hospital on the Army Base. We’ll see if we can ride in the ambulance with him, okay?”

She didn’t answer, her eyes focused on the EMTs as they strapped him onto the gurney.

“We’re riding with you,” Andy called out, and the EMT knew better than to argue. Andy slowly pulled Leslie up, a group of five other agents crowding in around her as she was led to the back of the ambulance.

She curled into Andy’s side as the EMTs worked quickly, placing the oxygen mask over Ben’s face and taping the ECG electrodes to his chest.

“Radio the hospital and tell them that we’re gonna need at least two liters of O negative blood when we get there,” the technician called up to the driver. “He’s going into hypovolemic shock.”

The rest of the ride passed by in a blur, Leslie staring at her blood soaked hands praying that the rapid beeping of the ECG machine wouldn’t stop.

~~~~~

The harsh lights bathed the hospital hallway in a sickening glow, sucking the color out of all that it touched. It didn’t matter to Leslie. She didn’t care that it made her face look even more pale and sunken in, that it accentuated her swollen, red eyes.

The hard chair was digging into her back, but she didn’t care about that either. All of her focus was directed towards a spot on the wall. She wasn’t sure how long she’d been staring. Minutes? Hours? Days? That didn’t matter either.

There must have been fifteen officers crammed into that tiny waiting area, but she felt more alone than ever. Andy and Chris were there earlier, but had been called away to investigate the shooting.

In her hand, she was clutching her father’s wooden chess piece, the white knight. The feel of the wood digging into her skin was her only affirmation that she wasn’t completely numb.

When they arrived at the hospital, Ben was rushed into surgery, his personal belongings stripped from him and hastily given to Andy as evidence. Inside the pocket of Ben’s pants was the knight, the delicate wooden figure now marred with his blood.

He had kept it with him. One of the most meaningful gifts she had ever given anyone, and he had carried it around with him like a good luck charm.

Some good luck charm.

Leslie was pulled from her trance when she heard the shuffling of feet and her name being called out from down the hall. She shot up and ran towards the sound, crashing into Ann in a bone crushing hug.

“I’m so sorry,” Ann breathed. “I came as fast as I could. The threat level is obviously high right now, so it took me forever to get onto the base.” Ann led Leslie back to the chairs and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. “How’s he doing? Have you heard anything?”

Leslie took a deep breath and hoped her voice would cooperate. “He’s in surgery right now. The bullet entered into his left shoulder area and most likely hit an artery based on the severity of the bleeding.” Her breath hitched. “They didn’t know if the bullet nicked his heart or lung, or did any severe bone damage. If it did, he might not make it.” Leslie honestly thought she didn’t have anymore tears left to cry, but she was proven wrong. “Oh Ann,” she cried, once again throwing herself into the arms of her best friend. “He could die and it’s all my fault.”

“No, no it’s not,” Ann soothed, rubbing her hands up and down Leslie’s back. “None of this is your fault. And Ben’s going to be fine. He’s strong, and he’ll pull through.”

“It is my fault.” Her voice was muffled as she pressed her face into Ann’s shirt. “He knew this was a bad idea. He told me that something wasn’t right, that he had a bad feeling, but I didn’t listen. I didn’t listen to him and now he could be dead. He could be dead, and I never told him. He’ll never know.”

“Oh, Leslie, he knows. No matter what happens, trust me, he knows. And he feels the same way, I’m sure of it.”

Some time later, after tears had been shed, comfort had been given, and silent pleas were sent out to anyone that might be listening, a resident made her way towards the group.

“President Knope?” The voice broke the chilling silence.

“Yes, how is he? Is he going to be alright?”

“Well, he is out of surgery, and thankfully the bullet didn’t hit his left lung or cause any heart damage. However, his brachial artery had been hit, which accounts for the rapid and severe blood loss. I’m not sure if you’re aware, but he had a previous, severe injury to that area, and the scar tissue made things a little difficult. However, the surgeon was able to repair the injury, but there is always the possibility of permanent blood vessel damage. The next twenty four hours will be crucial.”

“Okay, but he won’t die?”

The resident smiled softly. “We have every reason to believe that he will make a full recovery. Again, his scar tissue was damaged further by the bullet, so he might experience mild to moderate muscle pains in that region, but the wound itself should heal within the next month or so.”

Leslie let out a sigh of relief. “Thank you so much. When can I see him?”

“He was just wheeled out of recovery and has been set up in a private room in a secluded wing of the floor. As soon as the area has been swept by the officers for your safety, you are more than welcome to go in. He won’t be a awake for several hours, but it will be nice for him to see a familiar face once he does.”

Giving Ann’s hand a final squeeze, Leslie followed the nurse and several officers down the winding hallways of the hospital, pausing outside of the door to Ben’s room.

“Stay outside,” she said to the officers. “I want to sit with him alone for a little while.”

The officers looked conflicted but eventually consented.

Closing the door behind her, Leslie walked towards the still sleeping Ben. He was so pale, so helpless looking as the various tubes and IV lines ran from his body. But he also looked relaxed, a peace on his face she had never seen before.

It was at that moment she realized she had never seen him truly at ease. No matter the circumstances, no matter how informal some of their time together had been, there was always something hanging over him, another shoe he was waiting to be dropped.

She ran two fingers over his smooth brow, no longer furrowed as he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders.

She replaced the fingers with her lips, inhaling the scent of him, his normal musk now mixed with the smell of antiseptic.

Taking a seat next to his hospital bed, Leslie grabbed his hand and waited.

~~~~~

Leslie jerked awake when she felt the hand she was holding squeeze back. Ben's eyes were fighting to open, and she swore her name fell from his lips in a frantic whisper.

She stood over him, willing him to wake up, and he finally obliged, his eyes straining to focus on Leslie’s face. A sigh of relief was released as he took her in, alive and whole.

“You okay?” he rasped, the sound painful to Leslie’s ears.

She nodded and mustered a smile. “Yeah, I’m fine. You saved me.”

The moment was short lived, his veins pumping with enough pain relievers to put down a large animal. He gave her a drug induced grin, his eyes drooping now that he had peace of mind.

“You’re okay,” he murmured once more and let sleep take over.

~~~~~

Over the next three days, Leslie had become a permanent resident in room 814. She ate whatever hospital food could be brought to her, showered in the en-suite bathroom, and relied on Ann to bring her changes of fresh clothing.

It wasn’t until the second day that Ben had been coherent, able to talk and answer questions without the pain medication interfering. She had to admit though, Ben was adorable when he was high on meds.

Despite the protests from the officers, and even Ben, Leslie refused to leave the hospital. She figured she was just as safe on the base as anywhere, especially given the circumstances. Plus, she knew that Ben was secretly relieved that she stayed with him. He didn’t want her out of his sight.

On day three, Ben was deemed well enough to have visitors. Leslie sat at her customary chair at his side, the bed propped up and his arm in sling while Andy, Chris, Trumple, and Ron filed into the room.

“Ben!” Chris greeted him with a large smile. “You don’t know how happy I am to see you looking so well. Are they keeping you properly hydrated? Supplementing your loss of essential vitamins and minerals? I’m sure I have some iron pills in my pocket.”

“I think I’m good, Chris,” Ben chuckled. “They are doing a good job of taking care of me.”

“Yo, Major Ben,” Andy cut in. “That was awesome! I mean not the whole you almost dying thing. That was terrible. But when you dove in front of Leslie and threw her onto the ground like that. We’re talking action movie hero quality.” He came over and ruffled Ben’s hair, and Leslie didn’t even attempt to suppress a grin. “Glad you’re okay, buddy.”

Ron walked towards the bed. “Major Wyatt, under normal circumstances I would shake your hand, but I would not want to further aggravate your injuries, so I won’t and offer my thanks instead. But consider the offer a privilege in and of itself.”

Trumple stood at the back of the group, his posture stiff and reeking of expertly masked guilt. “Glad to see you alive and well, Major,” he said, slowly walking towards the bed. “On behalf of the Intelligence Office and the Pawnee Army, you have our utmost gratitude and will be properly honored for your sacrifice.”

Ben looked over and caught Leslie’s eye. “Leslie’s safe. That’s all that matters to me, sir.”

Leslie broke the gaze and tried to cover her face with her hair. He was NOT about to make her blush in front of a room full of people.

Trumple nodded before continuing. “I wish I could say that we’re here to just wish you well, but unfortunately you know that isn’t the case.”

“I understand, sir,” Ben answered. “What can you tell me about the incident?”

“The suspect is dead, first and foremost. After the initial shot was fired, the two others snipers on neighboring rooftops took him out.”

“Was he-” his voice cracked, “was he one of our own?”

“No, we have yet to identify the shooter. There has been no match on his fingerprints or dental records, and the only identification on him belonged to Joe Fantringham.”

“Then we go to the prison and question Joe again. We’ll do whatever it takes to find out what’s happening. He’ll roll over eventually, we just have to keep pushing him.”

Leslie looked over and shook her head sadly. “Ben, Joe’s dead. He was found two days ago in his cell. He hung himself with his bed sheets.”

Ben stared blankly at her, trying to process the information he was receiving far too quickly.

“No, that can’t be possible. Shit, he was our only lead. And how the hell did this guy get up on that rooftop?”

Chris came over and laid a hand on Ben’s good shoulder. “So far we’ve theorized that the shooter somehow had a copy of Sewage Joe’s badge and used it to access the park. A few people recognized him as one of the caterers. He then snuck away from the group and killed Agent Matthew Sharp, the sniper originally assigned to that post. His body was found stuffed into a supply closet in the lobby of the building. The shooter stole his rifle and uniform and posed as him on the rooftop.”

Ben squeezed his eyes shut. “So, we’re back to square one. Three people are dead and we have nothing to go on.” He looked poignantly at the group. “This goes too high up and there are too many unanswered questions. Leslie isn’t safe here anymore. We need to get her out of here until we find who’s responsible.”

Leslie was going to be damned if Ben thought he could send her away to sit and wait everything out. “No way, I’m not leaving you.”

Ben sighed. “Leslie, someone just attempted to kill you and was very nearly successful. We have nothing to go on right now. Nothing. We don’t even know how far up this goes. You aren’t safe.”

“Well, neither are you. It’s been made very clear that you are also a target. That whoever’s doing this is trying to drag you down with me.”

Ben opened his mouth to protest, but Trumple interjected. “She’s right, Major. As of now, the two of you are to be placed under military protection and relocated until this matter has been resolved.”

“No way,” Ben protested. “I need to help catch this guy. Besides, I am her military protection.”

Andy shrugged apologetically. “No offense, Ben, but you almost got your arm blown off. You can’t really go off running around after bad guys.”

“We anticipated this reaction from you,” Chris said, “and we believe that we have come up with some sort of compromise. We will relocate the two of you to a safe house where you can continue to be involved in Leslie’s personal security. There will be a select group of agents who will patrol the area in constant rotating shifts. We will do our best to keep you appraised of any updates in the investigation, but for your safety there can be no communication with the outside world. No phones, cable, or internet.”

“I don’t really have a choice in the matter, do I?” Ben huffed.

“No, Major, you do not.” Trumple’s voice was firm and left no room for arguments.

“Fine, when do we leave?”

“Ideally, as soon as you are released from the hospital, but there is one other concern. We don’t know how deeply our government could have been infiltrated, so we no longer trust any of the official safe houses on record.”

“I believe I can be of some assistance,” Ron chimed in. “During my ill-fated marriage to the evil temptress known as my second ex-wife, we purchased a cabin miles away from civilization. Now, the cabin is a spacious two bedroom, has one and a half bathrooms, running water and electricity, and is fully furnished, so naturally I hated it. No one has set foot in that cabin in years, and I am willing to offer it up as a safe house.”

“Are you sure there is no way for anyone to know about it?” Chris asked.

Ron shot him a deadly glare. “You obviously don’t know what I’m about, son. I could guarantee that with the already explicit information I have given you, you would still be unable to find it without my assistance. I tell nothing to no one.”

Leslie smirked. “That’s the understatement of the century, but he’s telling the truth. He’s very private, and I doubt he has any records of even purchasing the home or property, right Ron?”

“I’m offended that you would even ask that question, Leslie.”

“See, I told you.”

“Well, then it’s settled. As soon as Major Wyatt is released, arrangements will be made to transport the two of you to Mr. Swanson’s cabin. We will be in touch.”

After another round of well wishes, the men left the room, leaving behind an uncharacteristically awkward silence.

“So, we’re gonna be roommates, huh?” Leslie said in an attempt to break the tension.

“Yeah, looks that way.” He looked less than thrilled, and a sharp pain hit Leslie’s heart.

She hated having to be hidden away, but the idea of spending any number of days, even weeks, in a secluded cabin with Ben made her happier than she’d been in weeks, so why did he look like he’d rather run streaking through a minefield?

But regardless, she was going to make the best of this, as she strove to do in all situations. Whether they liked it or not, this was going to happen and she might as well enjoy it, and maybe force him to enjoy it, too.

“Does your shoulder hurt?” Leslie asked when she noticed Ben staring at the bandage and sling.

“Huh? Oh, no it’s fine. Actually it hurts less than I thought it would.”

“Oh, the doctor said that might be the case.” She cleared her throat. “You know, because of the previous nerve damage and scar tissue. It might take longer to heal, but the pain would be less.”

“Lucky me.”

Leslie grimaced. “I’m sorry.”

He looked to her sharply and must have realized that his behavior was less than stellar. His face quickly turned apologetic. “I’m not- I didn’t mean it that way. I don’t regret my decision at all, and you have nothing to be sorry for. I’m sorry for being a jerk. I’m frustrated, that’s all, but it’s no excuse for taking it out on you.”

“No, I understand, really. I just hate it when you talk down about yourself like that.”

“Sorry, force of habit. I turn very self deprecating when I’m in a mood. You’ll notice that a lot once we start living together.”

Living together. Jesus. She knew it wasn’t ‘like that’, but saying it made her shiver. She was for all intents and purposes going to be living with the man whom she had the uncontrollable urge to tackle onto a bed and makeout with until neither could breath anymore. Him having an arm out of commission certainly wasn’t ideal for the arrangement, but she could improvise.

“But anyway,” he continued, oblivious to her inner monologue, “if I get too moody, you reserve the right to call me out on my shit and snap me out of it. But sometimes I deal with my injury using humor. It became somewhat of a coping mechanism, I guess. My way of embracing it as a part of me.”

“You had me when you told me I get to keep you in line. I’ll have you wrapped around my finger yet, Major Wyatt.”

“Oh, Leslie, you’ve had me wrapped around your finger for a long time,” he murmured and then froze when he realized he had said it out loud.

She quickly tried to change the subject for his benefit. “So, if you’re not in pain, what were you staring at your shoulder for earlier?”

“Oh, I was just upset because I realized that the wound might leave a scar.”

She froze until she saw Ben wink at her, mirth shining in his eyes.

Leslie couldn’t help herself and she laughed. A full blown cackle of amusement she didn’t think herself capable of after everything that had happened. Ben laughed with her until tears were streaming down both of their faces.

She felt lighter than she had in days.

~~~~~

Leslie explored the cabin as Ben spoke with Andy and the agents currently assigned to patrol the grounds. As an added security measure, not even Trumple or Chris were told the exact location of the safe house, and they would only communicate via radio contact at specified intervals.

The cabin was surprisingly nice, and Leslie knew this had to be the work of Tammy II. It was everything that Ron Swanson despised, but perfect for what she and Ben needed. It had only one floor, the two bedrooms situated on opposite ends of the hallway with the full bathroom between them. The hallway opened up into the very spacious living room and dining room followed by the kitchen.

The kitchen had fully functioning appliances, another surprise knowing Ron, and had been stocked in preparation for their arrival. She opened the refrigerator and almost shouted in joy when she noticed an entire shelf on the door devoted to whipped cream cans.

Ben walked up behind her as she was checking out the pantry.

“I knew I shouldn’t have put you in charge of making the grocery list.”

She smirked and looked over her shoulder. “Stop your complaining, there’s plenty of options here for everyone. There are even fruits and vegetables in the crisper.”

“What are the chances that I could convince you to eat some?”

“Somewhere between slim and none.”

“Can’t say that I didn’t try to open you up to the idea of healthier eating. Just be grateful that you aren’t stuck here with Chris.”

“Don’t even joke about that,” Leslie shivered. “I’d think he was sent here to torture me using radishes.”

He reached over her and grabbed a granola bar from the pantry. “Have you had a chance to check out the rest of the cabin?”

“Yeah, actually. The rooms are nice, and one of the closets was packed with board games to help us pass the time. We can’t have any incoming cable, but they have a big screen T.V. set up in the living room with a pretty impressive movie collection.”

“Sweet. I hope they have some good ones.”

“I’m pretty sure I saw both the Star Wars and Indiana Jones trilogy box sets in there somewhere.”

“What? No way! Wait, is it the original Star Wars trilogy or the newer ones, because the new ones-”

“Don’t worry, it’s the original.”

“Nice. Which bedroom did you choose?”

“The one with the east facing window since I’m up at ridiculous hours anyway. Is that okay?”

“Yeah, totally fine,” he said with a mouthful of granola. “Just didn’t want to walk in on the wrong bedroom while you were changing or something.”

“Hmm, your loss really.” She left the kitchen without another word, Ben gaping at her retreating back.

This was going to be fun.

~~~~~

As much as she didn’t want to admit it to herself, as much as she reasoned that Ben wasn’t completely well yet, Operation: Secude Ben was in full swing. She was careful though, not wanting to come on too strong, especially given the circumstances. She still had to live with the man, after all.

But that too presented her with a multitude of possibilities.

She was actually surprised how well she and Ben got along. They hadn’t had any problems before, when he would stay hours upon hours with her at home, but that was different. They weren’t forced together like rats in a cage. They were able to take a breather from one another.

Not anymore.

They had their minor disagreements, most revolving around her dietary habits and knack for creating clutter, but they were remarkably compatible as room mates. Definitely something she took as a sign to pursue her slow seduction of Ben.

She started off small, being a little extra flirty here and there, touching him just barely more than necessary. She used movie nights as the perfect excuse to snuggle up to him under the guise of sharing a blanket, and she may have instigated one or two popcorn fights. He was even teaching her how to play chess, and she couldn’t wait until she was good enough to beat him because guys love it when you can show them you're better than they are at something they love.

Her crowning achievement came when she walked into the kitchen wrapped in nothing but a towel, passing Ben who did his best to keep his eyes trained on the television. She passed him again on her way back and winked, letting him know the bathroom was free if he needed it. He shot up from the couch, running past her mumbling something about a cold shower.

She had offered to help with his bandages a few times, but he vehemently refused.

That part made her sad, that after all they had been through together, he still felt self-conscious. They had been at the cabin for over two weeks now--two weeks filled with flirting and sexual tension, and she still hadn’t seen him in anything that wasn’t long sleeves. He occasionally wore tee shirts, but even those he paired with a hooded sweatshirt.

She didn’t expect his behavior to change overnight and she knew it wasn’t easy for him, that her reassurances every so often couldn’t change two decades worth of pain and embarrassment. She was just going to have to try harder to show him that she wanted him.

That she wanted all of him.

~~~~~

It was the middle of the night during their third week in the house when it happened. She had gone to the kitchen for a glass of water and on her way back, she heard whimpering coming from Ben’s room. She paused, her ear to the door trying to listen.

His whimpers grew louder and she could hear him thrashing around in his bed, crying out in his sleep.

The two had guidelines set in place to preserve privacy, but that didn’t stop her from throwing open the door and going to him.

She ran her hand over his face and tried to soothe him without waking him up, but he fought her off. She settled for grabbing him and trying to shake him from his tormented sleep, forcefully calling his name.

He sat up and his eyes finally flew open, filled with more fear and panic than she had ever seen in her life. He focused on her and in an instant, pulled her into a tight hug and buried his face in her neck as he trembled.

“Shhh, it’s okay,” she soothed as she ran her hands up and down his back, his breath warm as he panted against her skin. She peppered soft kisses into his hair as he clung to her, waiting until his breathing returned to normal and he stopped shaking.

He pulled away and took another ragged breath. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“You didn’t wake me. I was getting a glass of water when I passed by and heard you. I didn’t want to invade your privacy, but you sounded like you were in pain, and I got scared.”

“No, it’s fine. Thank you.” He refused to meet her eyes.

“Was it a flashback?” He didn’t answer at first and Leslie mentally chastised herself. “I’m sorry, that’s none of my business. I shouldn’t have asked. I’m just glad you’re okay.”

He stared at her hand, eventually running his fingers over hers. “You have every right to ask. Talking about it is supposed to help, I guess.”

She caught his hand in hers and squeezed. “You can tell me anything. You know that.”

He nodded and continued to stare at their joined hands. “Yeah, it was a nightmare. Not quite a flashback, but something like that. I hate them, you know. I wake up and think it’s all real, that it’s happening all over again. That’s why I was so relieved to see you when I woke up.”

“What do you mean? Because I wasn’t at ICE Town, so you know it’s not real?”

“No,” he shook his head slowly. “My dream wasn’t about ICE Town, it was about the shooting.” He looked up and pierced her with his gaze. His chocolate eyes were barely distinguishable in the dark, but she could still see the pain radiating from them. “I dreamt that he killed you. I couldn’t get to you in time and he shot you. Oh God, Leslie, I couldn’t save you and you died in my arms. It was so real.”

She didn’t know what to say so she just pulled him in for another hug. She wanted to let him know that she was real and safe--because of him. She wasn’t going to think about the guilt, think about how she was partially responsible for what he was going through, how much she wanted to take his pain away forever.

No, she wasn’t going to think about any of that. She was just going to hold him.

~~~~~

When Leslie woke up the next morning, she knew something was different. Not wrong, just different. These weren’t the sheets she had been sleeping under the last several weeks. This wasn’t the same bed or room either, and she definitely didn’t have a Ben-shaped body pillow that gave off heat.

Then she remembered the previous night. She remembered waking Ben from his nightmare, holding him as he trembled, crawling into Bed with him so that they could both move to a more comfortable position. She remembered his quiet, half-conscious plea that she stay with him until he fell asleep, so that he could know for sure that she was alive.

She didn’t remember falling asleep.

She did her best to leave the bed without waking Ben, a hard task considering his arm was thrown over her waist, pulling her to him even in his sleep. She was finally able to pull herself free, although a small groan of protest left her companion’s lips before he turned over and snuggled into a pillow, still mindful of his injured arm.

He had that relaxed look again, the one she hadn’t seen since he was unconscious in the hospital, the one she’d give anything to see while he was awake.

She sighed and slowly tip-toed out of the room, going to the kitchen to make coffee. She wasn't entirely sure why she left. It was what she wanted, wasn't it? To fall asleep next to him, preferably after much more enjoyable activities, but she would take what she could get.

So why was she sitting here alone at the kitchen table instead of warm in Ben's bed?

Because she knew that if he woke up and found her there, remembered what had happened last night, he'd be mortified. He'd been embarrassed enough revealing his weakness to her, let alone the guilt he'd have over making her give up a night's sleep in her own bed because of him. It would be ridiculous on his part, really. Last night was the best night’s sleep she’d had in ages, but he wouldn’t see it that way. He’d see it as a sacrifice, an inconvenience that she had to endure for his sake.

Under normal circumstances, she'd have stubbornly refused to to move, made Ben face what was happening head on, make him see that he was being stupid and that she’d spend every night like that if he’d allow it, nightmares and all. She knew she had a tendency to be a bit of a steamroller. It had served her well in her work, but not so well in relationships.

So she wasn’t going to force this on Ben, at least not yet. She wanted to, boy did she want to, but it was too much. She wasn’t going to hold him accountable for a decision he made in a nightmare induced haze of fear and panic.

Despite everything, she felt a warmth in her heart at what happened. Not the nightmares, never the nightmares, but his willingness to confide in her, to seek comfort from her. No matter how much he might be ashamed of his actions, she would cherish it. She now knew what it was like to hold him as he cried, to sooth him with kisses on his forehead.

To wake up in his arms.

When the coffee maker went off, Leslie poured herself a cup and went onto the back porch and watched the sun rise.


	9. Chapter 9

As sleep slowly gave way to consciousness, Ben hugged his pillow to his chest, inhaling the faint scent of perfume, and it took several minutes for his groggy mind to question why his pillow smelled like Leslie. He knew it was foolish, but there was still a pang of sadness when he opened his eyes and found himself alone.  
  
Memories of the previous night flooded his mind and he groaned into the Leslie-scented sheets. He remembered his nightmare, so vivid and real, remembered the feel of her warm, sticky blood seeping through his fingers as she slowly bled to death on the stage. But he also remembered Leslie rushing into his room and gathering him in her arms, chasing the dreams as far away as they could go.  
  
He grimaced when he thought of his plea to have her stay with him. He couldn’t believe how weak and vulnerable he had been. But she did stay, and it was the best night’s sleep he’d had in years. His stomach churned at the thought of facing her this morning, and he hoped things wouldn’t be tense or awkward. She had finally witnessed first hand the torture that existed when he closed his eyes.  
  
Would she finally think that he was as crazy as everyone said?  
  
Ben tried his best to avoid the inevitable and stay in bed, but he was still a military man, and his strict internal clock wouldn’t allow it. If he was lucky, maybe Leslie would pretend nothing happened, but he wasn’t about to hold his breath. Luck never seemed to be on his side anyway.  
  
He shuffled into the kitchen and ran a hand through his already ruffled hair as he made a beeline for the coffee pot, the bitter liquid still warm when he brought it up to his lips.  
  
The cabin was eerily quiet, with no sign of Leslie anywhere. This time in the mornings she was usually showered, changed, and waiting in the kitchen to greet him when he woke up, her smile warm as she asked him about his night.  
  
But there was no warm smile, no vote on what to have for breakfast.  
  
No Leslie.  
  
He figured that she might be avoiding him, but a mild sense of panic shot through him nonetheless when he called out to her and there was no answer. If she was going to willingly leave the cabin, she knew to tell him or at least write a note. He could respect if she needed space from him, but he had to know where she was. He needed to know that she was safe.  
  
Neglecting to even put on shoes, Ben threw open the back door and started to run towards the surrounding woods until he noticed her sitting on the porch swing, gazing at the horizon.  
  
As her calm, blue eyes met his frazzled, brown ones, he was once again struck by how beautiful she was. Her face was scrubbed clean of makeup, and her pajamas consisted of baggy sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt that she had managed to steal from him. The early morning sun reflected off of her hair and gave her an almost ethereal glow.  
  
Her eyes turned worried as they studied his face. “Ben, you okay? What’s wrong?” She got up from her place on the swing and walked over to him.  
  
“No, sorry, it’s fine. I just freaked out there for a second. You weren’t inside the cabin. I know you like to come out here in the mornings, but you’re just usually inside by now. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude on your time.” He turned to walk away, but her fingers wrapped gently around his wrist.  
  
“Don’t apologize, I understand. The sunrise was just so gorgeous this morning, and I guess I lost track of time out here.”  
  
“It’s very peaceful.”  
  
She hummed her agreement and kept a firm grasp on his wrist as she led them both back to the swing, patting the spot next to her as she sat down. “Sit with me for a little while.” He hesitated only a second before sitting down beside her.  
  
The swing wasn’t very big, and the two of them barely fit comfortably on it. Ben used that to rationalize his decision to fling his good arm behind Leslie’s shoulders on the wooden back of the swing, inches away from her. He was as smooth as a teenager on his first date at the movies, but she didn’t seem to notice or care. She was preoccupied with looking out over the wilderness.  
  
“Were you able to sleep okay after, well, you know?” she asked.  
  
“Uhm, yeah actually, I did. Thank you for waking me up and staying with me.”  
  
He couldn’t look at her so he just stared at two squirrels chasing each other up a tree. He felt her gaze boring into the side of his face, and she sighed when he still refused to meet her eyes.  
  
“You don’t have to thank me for that. You’re my friend and you needed me.”  
  
“Still, it’s a little more than your average friendship duties, and I appreciate that. It’s been a long time since someone has done that for me.”  
  
“And I’ll do it again in a heartbeat. No one should go through that alone.”  
  
He nodded and continued watching the squirrels, who had given up on fighting and were now searching the ground for acorns.  
  
“When did you eventually get back to bed?” he asked.  
  
She breathed in sharply. “What?”  
  
“I remember that you stayed with me until I fell asleep. I was hoping I didn’t keep you awake too late. Unless I dreamed that part.”  
  
“Oh, uh yeah, that was real. Uhm, I don’t really remember, but it wasn’t long. You went back to sleep pretty easily.”  
  
“Okay, good. Just wanted to make sure I didn’t make you miss your nice, warm bed for long.” He tried to play it light, but his cheeks were threatening to flame red. He glanced towards her, and she was looking at him with an unreadable expression.  
  
“I didn’t miss anything, don’t worry.” After a pause, “Do you get those kinds of dreams often? You know, flashbacks and stuff.”  
  
“I did at first. I had them almost every night. Sleeping pills didn’t help because all they did was knock me out so much that I couldn’t wake myself up from the dream, so instead I just refused to sleep altogether. Eventually they started to become less frequent. I usually only get them once in a while, if there’s some kind of trigger or something.”  
  
He didn’t tell her that this wasn’t the first time he had this nightmare, that he had woken up in the middle of the night covered in sweat thinking that he had let her die. She couldn’t know that on countless nights over the last weeks, he would stand outside of her door, her gentle snoring the only way he could convince himself that she was safe.  
  
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.  
  
“Don’t be. You have absolutely nothing to apologize for. You can’t control my subconscious. If anything, I should be apologizing and thanking you until I’m blue in the face.”  
  
“I told you-”  
  
“I know, but still, I need to say it because I don’t think you realize what you did for me. Those dreams are like reliving moments of your own personal hell. You wake up, and for those few seconds, you swear it’s happening all over again, swear it’s real. So when I saw you-”  
  
Ben’s throat had closed up and his eyes burned, unable to force out the words he desperately wanted her to hear. He hated himself for letting his emotions once again get the best of him but he couldn’t help it, not around her.  
  
She didn’t respond, didn’t try to sooth him with words that would have only made him feel weaker than he already did. Instead, she reached behind her to grab the arm that Ben had flung there earlier and wrapped it around her before snuggling into his side.  
  
“Well, then, you’re welcome,” she said with a soft smile before resting her head on his shoulder.  
  
He didn’t bother to hide the goofy smile on his face, Leslie’s attention once again focused out over the horizon. Before he could stop himself, Ben softly pressed his lips into Leslie’s hair, inhaling the same smell that had permeated his pillows.  
  
With his head resting against hers, they watched the sun.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Ben sat at the dining room table surrounded by his laptop and half a dozen books and file folders. Andy had recently dropped off copies of the updated files from the investigation along with several reference books that Ben had requested. The agreement was that he could still work the case while in protective custody, and he took that responsibility very seriously.  
  
He groaned and cracked his neck. “God, I miss the internet.”  
  
“Falling behind on your _Star Trek_  message boards?” Leslie teased from the other end of the table, her scrapbooking supplies strewn about.  
  
“Haha, very funny. Okay, maybe a little, but I was referring to doing research. I forgot how hard it was to do all this the old fashioned way. I will never take Google for granted again.”  
  
“Eh, I prefer AltaVista, personally.”  
  
“You would.” He looked up and squinted. “What are you even doing over there?”  
  
“Scrapbooking, duh.”  
  
He rolled his eyes. “Well, obviously, but of what?”  
  
“Our time here so far.”  
  
“Wait, so you’re scrapbooking about your time in protective custody in the middle of nowhere.”  
  
“Right, like I’m gonna spend weeks, maybe months, of my life somewhere and not chronicle it. Get real, Ben. Besides, it’s more of a rough draft since we only have the crappy printer here so the picture quality is subpar at best. These will be more like placeholders until we get out of here and I can get the real ones developed. What are you working on?”  
  
“They were finally able to bring me what they have so far on the investigation, and the autopsy reports on Sewage Joe, Agent Sharp, and our mystery shooter.”  
  
“Any progress?”  
  
“Nothing concrete,” Ben sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. “I was hoping I could find something tying Joe to our shooter, but we have nothing. Still no idea how he got ahold of Joe’s ID badge. We can’t even confirm the identity of the guy. His fingerprints and photo are in no records whatsoever, so we’re assuming he isn’t a Pawnee citizen, but there’s no record of anyone matching his description coming through customs either.”  
  
Leslie looked up from her scrapbook and frowned. “So, an Eagletonian that came in illegally?”  
  
“Maybe,” Ben shrugged, “but we have no definitive proof of any of that. The shooter was highly trained in hand-to-hand combat. He snapped Agent Sharp’s neck with his bare hands, not to mention he was an expert marksman. I’m convinced he has military training of some kind, but of course, Eagleton won’t let us go near their military records. I’ve been studying extremist groups for years, and I’ve never seen this level of planning before. It’s like something out of a spy movie.”  
  
“Why did you want to see the autopsy report for Joe? I thought it was an open and shut suicide. The coroner didn’t find anything out of the ordinary.”  
  
“That’s what bothered me. You saw him in the interrogation room, you saw how cocky and calm he was. Why would he kill himself?”  
  
“Because he knew we’d connect him to the shooting.”  
  
Ben shuffled some papers and handed Leslie the autopsy report. “Yes, but look at the time of death. He died barely a few hours after the shooting.”  
  
“And…”  
  
“And how did he know? He’d been in solitary since his arrest and any and all contact with him was logged. No one saw or spoke to him between the shooting and him being found.”  
  
“I’m not sure where you’re going with this.”  
  
He slouched back into his chair. “Honestly, I don’t either. Something just seems off, like I’m missing something huge. It’s all too convenient. I mean, this whole operation took ages to plan. The notes alone were spread out over a period of weeks, and they were obviously planning to use the park opening as their opportunity.”  
  
“Okay, but the park was no secret. It’s been under construction for months, and it wasn’t a huge leap to assume that I’d be there for the opening.”  
  
“Yes, but the park wasn’t supposed to open for another few months. We got, what, a few weeks notice that the date had been pushed up? How could they have possibly known that far enough in advance plan accordingly?”  
  
Leslie’s eyes grew wide. “Do you think they have someone else on the inside?”  
  
“I’m sure they do, but we have no idea who it could be or even how many there are. Even with someone in Interior passing along information, I don’t understand how they would have been able to move up their plan so quickly.”  
  
Leslie sighed and muttered a swear under her breath. “This is really, really bad, isn’t it?”  
  
He nodded grimly.  
  
She dropped her scissors onto the table, leaning forward to put her face in her hands and groan. “Oh, God. I mean I knew it was bad, but I didn’t think it was this bad.” She slapped the table, causing Ben to jump. “I don’t get it. Why? Why do they want me dead so badly? What have I done? I’ve spent my whole life trying to make Pawnee the greatest place on earth, and people want to kill me because of it.”  
  
Ben got up from his seat and knelt down next to Leslie’s chair. “Hey, you’ve done nothing but give your heart and soul to this country and your people love you for it. These are most likely Eagletonian extremists who have it out for Pawnee. This is a power struggle that has been going on for almost two hundred years. You aren’t to blame for any of this.”  
  
“But aren’t I?” Her voice trembled and her eyes grew watery. “These aren’t just Eagletonian extremists, Ben. These are people within the government, my government. People that I trusted that have lied to me to my face. I’ve been working with people who are trying to get me killed, and I don’t even know who they are.”  
  
She shot up from her chair and started pacing. “I don’t know how long I can keep doing this,” she said. “I thought we’d get put here for a few weeks, you would all find out who was behind this and I could go back home and get on with my life. I’m going crazy here, do you know that? I haven’t gone this long without working, ever, and I don’t know what to do with myself. Maybe I can see if I can earn a few extra degrees by mail. They still do that, right? The stuff won’t have any return address on it, but that might still work.”  
  
“Leslie-”  
  
“What if we never find them? What if we have to spend the rest of our lives in this cabin and never see anyone from the outside world again? How am I supposed to run a country from a cabin in the middle of nowhere that doesn’t even have a fax machine? What good will those extra degrees be then?”  
  
“Leslie, calm dow-”  
  
“Oh, my God, my life is falling apart. I’m gonna die here in a cabin that was bought by a psychotic librarian!”  
  
“Leslie!” Ben finally yelled and grabbed her by the arms to stop her pacing and wild hand gestures. “Calm down, okay? Breathe in through your nose and out with your mouth. Just like that, right.” After a few deep breaths, her body began to relax. “Now, none of that is going to happen, okay? I know you’re going stir crazy and wish you could be anywhere but here, but this is the best and safest option for you right now. We will get out of here. It’ll take time, but I promise you, I’m gonna find out who’s doing this and get you back home. The entire country is on your side and all of the best people are working on solving this. We’re gonna take this guy down and everyone that he has working for him.”  
  
“I don’t admit this often, but I’m scared.” She looked up at him with an openness and vulnerability that he had never seen from her before. “I’m so scared, Ben. Not just for me, but for my friends and Pawnee and you and everything. And no matter how many times you say it isn’t my fault, it’s still because of me. My people are scared and I’m not there to help them. My friends are in danger because of their relationship with me, and if you had died-”  
  
Ben reached out and forced her to look at him. “No, absolutely not. Leslie, it’s okay to be scared, but you have nothing, I repeat, nothing to feel guilty about. Everything that’s happened has been out of your control. Your friends love you and don’t blame you for a single thing, and I swear on my life that I won’t let anything happen to you.” Ben grinned and bumped her shoulder with his. “Besides, living with me isn’t that bad, right?”  
  
Leslie grinned shyly and bumped Ben’s shoulder back. “It’s been...tolerable.”  
  
“Tolerable?” he chuckled. “Is that what you’d call it?”  
  
“Fine, acceptable.”  
  
“Wow, no need to exaggerate on my account.”  
  
“Well, I call ‘em like I seem ‘em, so…”  
  
“Keep it up and this ‘acceptable’ roommate is gonna start stealing his t-shirts back.”  
  
“What?” she scoffed incredulously. “I have no idea what you’re talking about with those crazy words coming out of your face. But speaking purely hypothetically, if your shirts didn’t end up in someone else’s laundry basket, I’m sure she, or most likely he, would be less inclined to steal them.”  
  
“Duly noted. From now on I will be sure to do my own laundry and no one else’s.”  
  
“Now, I wouldn’t go that far.”  
  
“Hmm, so it looks like I have something to hold over your head. Be nice to me or I’ll force you to wash your own clothes.”  
  
“Excuse me, Major Wyatt, but did you just threaten the president of Pawnee?”  
  
Ben stroked his chin. “Why yes, I believe I did.”  
  
“And what makes you think that I will submit to your demands?” She crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow.  
  
“Because you love my fabric softener.”  
  
All of the tension left Leslie’s shoulders as she laughed. “Damn, you’ve found my kryptonite.”  
  
Ben was relieved that Leslie had calmed down enough to play along with his teasing. To be honest, he was surprised that it had taken this long for her to have a mini breakdown. She wasn’t one to take kindly to being cooped up. Her work was her life. He didn’t realize how much so until he started as her bodyguard and he saw firsthand how much of herself she devoted to the job.  
  
He knew this time here was killing her, but he did his best keep her occupied and distract her from spiraling into a work-deprived depression with movie nights, endless board game marathons, and hikes in the woods. He made sure to involve her in his investigation, as slow going as it was. Even when he was doing research on his own, Leslie made sure to keep herself busy. Beyond the several scrapbooks she had made during their time at the cabin, there were three new Leslie-made quilts and the pantry was filled to capacity with the fruits of her baking sprees. With the cool weather of fall quickly approaching, Leslie also began crocheting hats and gloves for all of the agents that patrolled the area surrounding the cabin.  
  
“I knew I’d find your one weakness eventually,” he said as their laughter died down. He pushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “Are you feeling better now?”  
  
She bit her lip and nodded, her eyes boring into Ben’s in the way that always made him shiver. Over the last several weeks, the lines between them were becoming less defined. He wasn’t completely dense; he was aware that Leslie was trying to tear down his defenses, trying to progress their relationship past the platonic friendship he was so adamant on maintaining. She really wasn’t that sneaky.  
  
But sneaky or not, she knew the power that she had over him, and it was getting harder and harder for him to resist. Since the night Leslie comforted him after his nightmare, they became more open with each other. It was a gradual change, a few more playful nudges and innocent touches here and there.  
  
One night Ben noticed that Leslie hadn’t closed her door all of the way when she went to bed. What he initially thought was just a fluke turned out to be a nightly ritual, the door being left open a little wider and wider each day. He wasn’t sure if it was an invitation, sign of support, or a way for her hear him if his nightmares returned, but he didn’t question it. If her intent was for him to come to her in the middle of the night and seek comfort, she was wasting her time. No matter how bad the nightmares might get and how much he wanted to go to her, he would never allow himself for so many reasons.  
  
He wasn’t her responsibility. If anything, it was the other way around. His job was to keep her safe, to keep her protected, and he wasn’t about to burden Leslie with his problems. The fact that it had happened once was already too much.  
  
At heart, Ben was a military man, his life ordered and disciplined. He found comfort in the schedules, the strict regimens, the self sufficiency. It was his own way of taking control, being able to push aside his own inner turmoils and focus on what was important. It had been his coping mechanism for almost twenty years.  
  
But lately, he felt that control slowly slip away. His body still rose at six every morning, still ate meals at the same times, but it wasn’t the same. He had no day to day schedule like he was used to, no drive to the base to do his job, no meetings. He understood Leslie’s frustrations. He, too, felt like he was merely existing.  
  
And with Leslie, whatever control he felt he had was easily being chipped away by this woman. He was losing himself in her, and that terrified him. Without his self control, he had nothing.  
  
Oh yes, something was definitely shifting between them but it couldn’t happen.  _They_ couldn’t happen. It didn't matter what he had thought before, how much he had tried to convince himself that things could work out eventually. If it wasn’t obvious before the shooting, it was now. He had failed her. He hadn’t done his job right, and she could have died because of it.  
  
But it was more than that. She was Leslie Knope,  _President_ Leslie Knope, and he was just...Ben. She deserved so much more than what he could give her. She didn’t need to be woken up at all hours of the night because he was having a flashback, or waste her time comforting him when he was too distraught to even think straight. She needed someone who could stand by her side and make her better, not drag her down.  
  
“Hey, Ben, you okay?” She tore him from his thoughts with a tug on his shirtsleeve.  
  
“Huh, what?”  
  
“You spaced out there for a second.”  
  
“Oh, no sorry, I was just, ya know, thinking about this case and everything. See where we can go moving forward.”  
  
She accepted his lie easily. “Yeah, it’s kind of a mess, and I know I freaked out and everything, but you’re gonna solve this. You’re gonna solve this and save Pawnee and then we get to go home.” She squeezed his hand with a small smile and walked back to the table, immersing herself once again in her scrapbooking project.  
  
As Ben watched her work, he made his final decision. Leslie deserved to loved by a man that didn’t have his emotional and physical scars, someone whole and untainted.  
  
That’s why he was going to let her go.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Ben hated doctors. Okay, he didn’t  _hate_ them, he just hated what they represented--sickness and death. Maybe his assessment of the profession was a bit unfair, but he had seen enough doctors for several lifetimes. The last of his teenage years were spent in and out of hospitals and special care facilities, with the occasional overnight stay in a psych ward. He hated being poked and prodded, operated on and psychologically evaluated.  
  
As Ben sat shirtless at the dining room table, the military doctor examining his shoulder, he did his best to push all of the negative thoughts out of his head and give Dr. Harris the benefit of the doubt. He wasn’t about to win any awards for his bedside manner, which was rude and blunt, but Ben kind of respected that. He certainly wasn’t in the mood for meaningless small talk while Dr. Harris determined if his arm had healed. He just wanted the exam over with, and hopefully be given a clean bill of health and never see the good doctor again.  
  
“Well, it looks like your shoulder healed nicely,” Dr. Harris muttered. “Have you been experiencing any muscle pains or spasms?”  
  
“No more than usual.”  
  
“You’ll need to slowly rebuild some of the muscle mass you lost. Normally, I’d recommend physical therapy, but it looks like you’ll have to improvise somehow.”  
  
“I’m more than familiar with common physical therapy techniques. I can request to have some small weights sent over or do some work outside. Maybe rake leaves or chop firewood.”  
  
“Yeah, I don’t care,” Dr. Harris replied, already packing his bag. “I’m officially declaring you ready for active duty. I’ll probably sign the paperwork tomorrow or something.” He left without another word.  
  
Ben took his time putting his shirt and hoodie back on, not yet ready to face Leslie, who sat patiently waiting in the living room. It had only been a few days since his decision to put some distance between the two of them, and it was already taking its toll. Everytime he backed away from her as she stepped into his personal space, everytime he flinched when she touched him, a definite look of hurt crossed Leslie’s face, and it killed him. He was slowly breaking her heart.  
  
He fidgeted with the zipper on his hoodie, knowing that he would have to leave the dining room eventually or else she’d come looking for him. She was probably more nervous about this check-up than he was. He walked into the living room with a tight lipped smile to find Leslie sitting on the couch buzzing with nervous energy.  
  
“So, what did he say?” she asked as he jumped up from her seat.  
  
“Said everything looked good. No more sling, and I’ll be cleared for active duty as soon as he fills out the paperwork.”  
  
Leslie let out an excited squeal and ran to give Ben a tight hug. He returned it stiffly before quickly extricating himself from her embrace. Another flash of hurt crossed her eyes, but it was gone in an instant, her smile never faltering.  
  
“That’s great news! We have to celebrate.”  
  
“That’s really not necessary. I mean, it’s no big deal.”  
  
“No big deal? Are you serious?” She planted her hands firmly on her hips. “You got shot and almost died, but here you are good as new. We are so gonna have cake and celebrate.”  
  
Ben couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re gonna make a cake for my arm?”  
  
“Don’t be silly, I already made the cake. It says ‘Congratulations’ in chocolate icing.”  
  
“And what if the doctor had said I still needed to wear the sling?”  
  
“The backup cake says ‘Better Luck Next Time’. I’m always prepared, Ben. You really should know this by now. But anyway, we are going to celebrate by having cake for dinner and getting drunk.”  
  
“Whoa, wait a minute,” Ben stopped her. “I can get behind the cake for dinner thing, but I don’t know if getting drunk is a good idea.”  
  
“You can’t have a proper celebration without booze. I just found Ron’s secret liquor stash. Besides, you don’t have to take pain meds anymore that might interfere with the alcohol, and you don’t officially resume active duty until tomorrow, so really tonight is your only window of opportunity here. You have zero excuses.”  
  
Ben rubbed his neck. It wasn’t a good idea. People said and did things they probably shouldn’t while drunk, and there were plenty of things he was afraid he’d say or do.  
  
“Please,” she begged. “I don’t know, things have just been really sucky and weird the last few days, and I really want to just have fun and unwind. If you don’t want to get drunk, that’s fine, but at least have a few beers with me while  _I_  get drunk.” Her eyes were pleading, and she damn well knew that he could never say no to her when he looked at him like that.  
  
“Okay, sure. That sounds fun.”  
  
“Yay,” Leslie said as she clapped her hands. “I’m gonna go get the cakes out of the fridge and grab the booze.” As she ran to the kitchen she called out over her shoulder, “I don’t know what you’re so worried about. I mean, what could possible go wrong with cake and alcohol.”  
  
As soon as she said ‘what could possible go wrong’, Ben should have taken it as a warning sign, but he didn’t. He for once thought that maybe things won’t go as badly as he feared.  
  
It didn’t start out terrible, in fact, Ben was actually enjoying himself. The two sat comfortably on the couch with bellies full of cake. Ben was on his third beer, just starting to feel warm, while Leslie was several shots of whiskey ahead of him, her face flushed red.  
  
“Okay, okay, okay,” she slurred, “Let’s play a drinking game.”  
  
“What, are we in college?”  
  
She playfully slapped his arm. “Come on, it’ll be fun. We’ll play Hot Seat. We ask the other questions, and if you refuse to answer you have to take a drink.”  
  
“Oh, this can be interesting.”  
  
“But hey, no questions about National or International Secrets. That’s not fair.”  
  
“Well, there’s no point now.”  
  
Leslie laughed out obnoxiously and popped off the top to another beer. “Shut up. Okay, me first. Uhm, how old were you when you lost your virginity?”  
  
“Fifteen. You?”  
  
“Nineteen.”  
  
“Wait, seriously?”  
  
“Yes. It’s not exactly easy getting the right attention from people in my position. In High School, most of the guys were just trying to get in my pants so they could sell the story to the tabloids, and the rest--well, it’s very hard to sneak away and have sex when you’re constantly being watched and followed by armed agents. Does that surprise you?” She looked at him impatiently.  
  
“Honestly, yeah. I mean definitely have sex whenever it is that you’re ready, but you were just--I mean, so…”  
  
She started to grin as he got flustered “What?”  
  
“You were  _hot_! Like every teenage boy’s masturbatory fantasy hot.”  
  
“Lovely,” she deadpanned.  
  
“No, that didn’t come out right. I just wasn’t expecting that, that’s all. For some reason I just imagined that you could have had anyone that you wanted eager and waiting.”  
  
“That might have been the case, but I suffered my fair share of teenage heartbreak. Being the president’s daughter didn’t make me immune to it. If anything, it made it worse. People were either trying to use me or were intimidated by me. It took a long time for me to really trust anyone after that.”  
  
“No, that makes sense. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you or anything. It just caught me by surprise.”  
  
“It’s fine,” she shrugged. “I’m actually pretty good at surprising people by not saying or doing what they expect.” She absentmindedly took a sip from her beer before a wolfish grin took over her face. “So, Ben Wyatt thought I was hot, huh?”  
  
“Yeah, I mean, of course” he stammered. “It’s just, you know you were you, and I was--and then all my friends and...I’m making a fool of myself.”  
  
“No, no it’s cute,” she giggled. “I mean on the day we met, didn’t I all but confess that I had a little crush on you back then? I think we’re even. Anyway, it’s my turn to ask another question. What’s the craziest thing that you’ve ever done while drunk?”  
  
“You mean besides agreeing to play this game?”  
  
“Ben!”  
  
He dodged the pillow that was thrown at him. “Okay, I’ll be serious. Craziest thing while drunk...Oh! You know this one already. I got a tattoo.”  
  
“That’s right. I forgot about that. But seriously, that’s the craziest? No, streaking in public places, drunken karaoke while dancing on table tops?”  
  
“Are those moments from your own drunken history?”  
  
“Maybe, but we aren’t talking about me now.”  
  
“Fine, but we will circle back to you in a minute. Yeah, the tattoo thing for sure. I mean after ICE Town, I really wasn't allowed to drink because of all of the different medications and stuff. Then they worried I’d turn to alcohol as a way to self medicate, so I was ‘strongly encouraged’ not to indulge. So, not too many crazy, drunken stories.”  
  
“Fair enough. Can I see it?”  
  
“See what?”  
  
“Your tattoo, stupid”  
  
“Oh, I don’t know, Leslie. I don’t think so.”  
  
“Aww, why not?” she pouted. “Is it really inappropriate, like a naked lady or something?” Her eyes grew wide with excitement. “Is it on your butt?”  
  
“What? No, it’s not on my butt, and no, it’s not a naked lady. It’s just, I’d have to take my shirt off for you to see it, and I’m really not comfortable with people, you know, seeing my scars and stuff.”  
  
A painfully awkward silence followed as Leslie stared at her hands, a contrite look on her face.  
  
“Hey, don’t worry about it. I didn’t mean to make things weird,” Ben said.  
  
She looked up and him and blurted out “I think you’re really cute.”  
  
“Leslie, you don’t have to try and make me feel better. It’s fine.”  
  
She shook her head. “No, I’m dead serious. You’re cute and fart and smunny and super awesome and I’m sorry for whatever happened that made you think that your scars make you gross and ugly. They don’t, and if anyone thinks any differently, then they’re just a bunch of stupid buttfaces that don’t deserve you.”  
  
“Wow, Leslie, that’s very--”  
  
“And I didn’t say that stuff so you’d take off your shirt. Although, God, I wish you would, but that’s not the point. I just want you to realize how great you are. You’re so much better than what people think of you.”  
  
Ben wasn’t sure if it was the emotional impact of her revelation or the fact that he had just chugged his fourth beer, but he didn't know what to say. But even if he did, he wouldn’t have had the opportunity because Leslie’s face was inching closer and closer to his own. Her normally bright, blue eyes were darkened by either the alcohol, arousal, or a combination of the two, he didn’t know.  
  
Warning bells were going off in his head, telling him to back away, to avoid making anything worse by giving in, but her lips were a tractor beam pulling him to here. He hated how much he wanted this.  
  
Her lips were softer than he had imagined even in his most wildest of fantasy, and when she opened her mouth, he could taste beer and cake on her tongue, along with something else he couldn’t place, but it was amazing. Before he knew it, his hand was travelling up her neck, resting in her hair as he pulled her closer to him.  
  
The sounds Leslie was making shot straight to his groin, as though it needed any more encouragement. It wasn’t until she brushed up against him that he came to his senses and abruptly pulled away .  
  
“No, we can’t do this. We have to stop.”  
  
“Wait, what?” Her hair was mussed from his hands, her lips wet and swollen from his kisses. He wanted her more than anything, but he just couldn’t give in.  
  
“Leslie, we talked about this.”  
  
“Yeah, we talked about it weeks ago before you got shot and before we got stuck out here and before we made out like crazy. Maybe we should talk about it again.”  
  
“Maybe we shouldn’t.”  
  
“Why?! I don’t understand. Do you not feel the same way about me anymore?”  
  
“What? No, it’s not that.”  
  
“Then what is it? You aren’t making sense. What would be so terrible? For God’s sake, Ben, we’re in a secluded cabin miles away from civilization. Nothing is the same anymore.”  
  
“No, but I am. I’m still the same, and entering into a relationship with me would be a mistake.”  
  
“Ugh, you know I’m getting really sick and tired of you using yourself as an excuse, as though you’re so unworthy of me. Newsflash: I’m an adult and I get to choose who is worth my time and affection.”  
  
“Leslie, you don’t understand-”  
  
“You’re right, I don’t because you won’t tell me! I can’t read your mind. I don’t know what you’re thinking. All I know is that I have spent the last weeks opening myself up to you and trying to show you how much I care, but you refuse to accept it. Everytime I think we’re making some progress, you pull yourself away from me. If you don’t want me, fine, but I refuse to allow anyone to lead me along and give me false hope. Been there done that with the pining thing, and I swore to myself that it wouldn’t happen again, no matter how adorable your face and butt are.”  
  
Ben sighed and ran his hands through his hair. “Leslie, it’s not so simple. I can’t just turn off these fears. I don’t want my involvement with you to hurt you anymore than I already have.”  
  
“What are you even talking about? How have you hurt me?”  
  
“You almost died because of me! Can you even imagine what that’s like?” he screamed.  
  
“Yes, I can,” she shouted back. “I don’t know what you’re thinking, but this twisted sense of nobility is getting on my nerves. I do know what that’s like. Those things might happen only in your nightmares, but I lived it. I had to watch you take a bullet that was meant for me. I watched you bleed out right in front of me. I literally had your blood on my hands, Ben. You almost died and it would have been all for me.”  
  
“It would have been worth it.”  
  
Her eyes flashed through the tears that started to form. “Who are you to say what’s worth it? I’m worth you laying down your life, but you don’t think you’re even worth the opportunity for me to care about you? To lo-” She stopped herself and screamed in frustration. “You know what? I’m not doing this with you right now. I tried, I really tried, but you just think you can come in and tell me what’s best for me about the park and now this? No, no way.”  
  
She was getting progressively louder and angrier the more she spoke, which only made her slurred speech more pronounced.  
  
“Leslie, please, just let me explain--”  
  
“No, I told you I was done. You had your chance, plenty of chances, but it’s too late now. I don’t even want to look at your dumb, handsome, stupid face anymore.” She hiccuped and looked like she was about to throw up. “Oh, God, I think I need to go to the wiz palace, and yes, I know that it’s also called the bathroom. I’m not stupid, unlike you. I’m gonna walk away, and you better take a good hard look at what you’re passing up, buddy. I am  _the_ total package.”  
  
She stood up from the couch and almost fell over, but she slapped Ben’s hands away when he tried to help.  
  
“At least let me help you to the bathroom,” he said. “You can barely stand up.”  
  
She jabbed her finger into his chest. “I don’t want or need your help anymore, Major Wyatt. I’m gonna go to wiz palace and probably barf my guts up and cry a whole lot, and I better not see you anywhere near that toilet, do you understand me?”  
  
Without waiting for a response, Leslie stumbled to the bathroom and slammed the door behind her. True to her word, Ben could hear her retching violently followed by several flushes of the toilet. After few moments of silence, he could hear her crying, loud sobs that pierced through his heart.  
  
He ached to go to her, to hold her hair back as she vomited, to sooth her as she cried, but he knew he couldn’t. He was the cause of those tears, her anger. He had believed with all of his heart that he was doing the right thing, that while she was in pain now, it was all for the best because he could never be what she needed.  
  
He winced when he heard her sobs lead into another round of vomiting. His fear and remorse were giving way to anger, at her or himself he wasn’t sure, but a rage that he hadn’t felt in a long time bubbled up to the surface. He picked up his empty beer bottle and threw it across the room, glass shattering as it made contact with the wall.  
  
If he was so sure about his decision before, why did he feel like he was making the biggest mistake of his life?  
  
He sunk back onto the couch and put his head in his hands, praying for a peaceful sleep that never came.


	10. Chapter 10

She needed Ann.  
  
She also needed water, some aspirin, and a good teeth brushing, but she needed Ann most of all. Ann would pull Leslie into one of those amazing hugs, rub her back as she puked her guts out, and tell her that Ben was a big, stupid idiot that didn’t deserve her anyway. Yes, Ann would know exactly what to do and say to make her feel better. Unfortunately, Ann wasn't a viable option.  
  
So instead, Leslie sat alone on the floor of the bathroom, her stomach queasy, her head pounding, and her eyes red and swollen. She hated this, hated being stuck in the middle of nowhere because people were trying to kill her, hated that she couldn’t call her best friend on the phone when she needed her, hated that she would have to continue sharing a house with the man who just broke her heart.  
  
Leslie groaned and rested her head against the edge of the bathtub. She was too drunk to deal with this right now. Maybe this was all a figment of her alcohol infused imagination, a terrible, terrible dream, and everything will be right in the world when she wakes up tomorrow morning.  
  
But the emptiness that she felt, the dull ache in her chest, was too strong for it to not be real.  
  
She didn’t remember it hurting this bad, not even when she had broken up with actual boyfriends. She and Ben weren’t dating, if anything they were colleagues with the benefit of being friends. At least, she thought they were friends. Had she deluded herself into thinking they were more than they were?  
  
No, he told her he cared about her, that he had feelings for her, but he was afraid to act on them. He wasn’t lying to her, was he? But what friend would string her along like this, make her believe that she actually had a chance only to tell her it could never be? She really thought out here, secluded and alone, that something could happen. They could just be Leslie and Ben without the added pressure of their jobs and their pasts.  
  
She was wrong.  
  
Why was she such a mess? She was the damn president of Pawnee. She should be back at home running her country, not throwing up in an old cabin toilet and sobbing over a boy.  
  
Nothing sounded as tempting as crawling into bed and sleeping for the foreseeable future, but that would mean getting up from floor and possibly facing Ben. She wasn’t ready for that, she wasn’t sure if she’d ever be ready after what happened tonight.  
  
They both said things they couldn’t take back, truthful and painful things. He wasn't ready to let go of his guilt and shame, and as long as he believed that he was a hindrance to her life and career, he wasn’t going to allow himself to act on whatever it was that he felt.  
  
Rationally she knew all of this, but a part of her, the sad, angry, and drunk part, didn’t want to be so understanding.  
  
She could still feel the ghost of his lips on hers, remember how he tasted, and it sent another wave of emotion through her. For those few glorious seconds, she felt what it could be like between the two of them, and it was powerful. Maybe that’s why this was hurting so much. Because she knew, she just  _knew_ they had something special. No one had impacted her life the way Ben had, no one had sacrificed themselves so selflessly as he had for her. Even now, his refusal was out of some backwards desire to protect her. He was willing to sacrifice his happiness for her sake.  
  
If only he knew he was only hurting them both.  
  
Leslie didn’t need him to protect her honor or her reputation. Her parents had taught her independence, first and foremost. Her life brought with it a lot of opportunity and privilege, but they still emphasized the importance of self-sufficiency. She didn’t need people bending over backwards to do every little thing for her. She liked getting her hands dirty, standing up for herself. That’s why she was so opposed to the idea of having a personal bodyguard in the first place.  
  
But they forced her into it and Ben was the only one that she trusted enough to do it. That should have been another red flag to her that she was going down a potentially dangerous road with him. She so willingly put her life into his hands, a man she had met only a few weeks prior and instantly disliked. But also a man whose very presence made her heart beat faster, whose smile in her direction unleashed a thousand butterflies in her stomach.  
  
As Leslie curled into a ball on the cold, bathroom tile, it hit her--somewhere along the way she had fallen in love with him. Between spending their days together in her office, sharing meals and comfortable silences, to baking sprees and movie nights where she fell asleep on his shoulder and he carried her off to bed, he made her love him. This beautiful, nerdy, tortured, brave man had ingrained himself in her life.  
  
She had wanted tonight to be special, a celebration of his health and their potential future together, but it had gone so horribly wrong. Instead of being wrapped in Ben’s arms, she cried herself to sleep.  
  
~~~~~  
  
The silence was too loud and the darkness too bright. Her head was about to explode, and her mouth felt like she had just swallowed sand. Leslie groaned and rolled over into her pillow when she realized that she wasn’t on the bathroom floor, but her bed. She forgot how she got there, but unfortunately, hadn’t forgotten about her fight with Ben.  
  
The thought that Ben was the one that carried her to bed made her cringe, him finding her passed out drunk, her eyes swollen from crying over him. Her fear was confirmed when she saw a tall glass of water and a bottle of aspirin sitting on the nightstand. But no, that wasn’t enough. As if him carrying her to bed and helping her battle the oncoming hangover and making her feel whole lot of feelings she wasn’t ready to deal with wasn’t enough, he had to strike her where it would hurt.  
  
Next to the bottle and glass was her father’s white knight.  
  
She remembered how she felt when she found it in his pocket after Ben was shot, clutching onto it the hours he was in surgery like it was a connection to him. The day after he had woken up, she returned it. She said he deserved it now more than ever, and as pale as he was, a redness flushed his face as he accepted the token with a shy smile.  
  
And now it mocked her from its place on the table. She reached over to take some of the aspirin when she noticed a note in Ben’s familiar scrawl.  
  
 _I know you’re angry and have every right to be, and I’ll respect your need for space for as long as you need it. After what happened last night, I wouldn’t be surprised if you never wanted to see me again, but when you’re up for it, we need to talk. Please, just know how sorry I am, and how much I care about you.  
I’m returning the knight because I am no longer fit to carry it. It’s a symbol of everything that I’m not. Your father was a great man, and I’m not worthy enough to have one of his most prized possessions, let alone be with his daughter._  
  
Leslie stared at the note slackjawed and unable to fully process Ben’s words. She wanted to feel something. Anger, sadness, love, despair, hope--anything, but she was just numb. Maybe this was just as good. It hurt too much to feel things anyway.  
  
She drank her pills, rolled over, and went back to sleep.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Ben wasn’t lying when he said he’d give her space. It had been four days since their fight, and Leslie hadn’t gotten more than a glimpse of him. They managed to unconsciously fall into their own routine. Leslie would wake up at her usual ungodly hour, get ready, and be back in her room by the time Ben’s alarm went off. Now that he was back on active duty, he spent a majority of his time with the other agents patrolling the grounds, and every morning he leaves a note on her door with his itinerary. She assumed he did this in the hopes that she’d try to find him, but she hasn’t. She wasn’t ready to have that talk.  
  
Having that talk would be the final nail in the coffin, the final, sober discussion about them and whatever their relationship was. She couldn’t bear to hear Ben tell her again that he couldn’t be with her, and that as soon as this whole thing was done, he was going to leave her forever.   
  
If he told her one more time that he wasn’t good enough for her, she was going to rip his throat out.  
  
So the more she ignored him, the longer she could postpone the inevitable.  
  
But to be honest, she hated how things were. She missed eating breakfast with him, playing board games, and watching movies with him. She missed their talks, even the ones that weren’t about anything important.  
  
She missed him.  
  
Some nights when she couldn’t sleep, she’d open up one of her scrapbooks of the two of them. It was stupid to torture herself that way, but she couldn’t help it. Ben covered in flour after his first time baking with her, the two of them sharing lunch in her office, Leslie beating him at chess for the first and only time. So many memories over such a short amount of time.  
  
She’d trace her fingers over his face, sometimes bright and smiling, other times confused and bewildered when he couldn’t quite understand why she would take pictures at the most random moments. Those photos were for times like these, when despite everything, she wanted nothing more than to see his face. He was unguarded and happy in these pictures, the constant dark cloud that hung over him missing if only for a few, brief seconds.  
  
But there was one picture, her favorite picture, that she kept hidden in the drawer of her nightstand, one that she had looked at almost every night since it was taken over two weeks ago. It had been one of the agent’s birthdays, and the group decided to have a barbeque lunch in celebration. It had been such an amazing time. Planning the party had given Leslie something to do for a few days, and she went above and beyond, as was usual.  
  
All of the agents ended up bringing a side dish, and Ron’s grill was fired up and filled with burgers and hot dogs. There had been a shortage of chairs outside, so Leslie took it upon herself to claim a seat right on Ben’s lap. She wasn’t sure if it was the caffeine and sugar rush from the seven sodas and five cupcakes she had eaten, but she was so happy and giddy that she planted herself there without warning.  
  
He had tensed at first, but soon relaxed and continued to chat with the other agents while Andy pulled out his phone to take a picture. They both looked so relaxed and happy, like a real couple. Her on his lap and smiling, him so at ease with his good arm wrapped around her waist as though it belonged there.  
  
Everytime she looked at it now there was nothing but a painful emptiness, but she couldn’t stop.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
It was day five of her self-imposed Ben avoidance, and she had spent the majority of it in her room crocheting some Christmas gifts when she heard a knock on her door. There was a brief moment of panic until Andy’s voice wafted through.  
  
“Leslie? Hey, Leslie, are you in there?”  
  
“Andy? Yeah, come on in.”  
  
He opened the door with his trademark happy face and plopped himself next to Leslie on her bed.  
  
“I didn’t know you were coming here today,” she said.  
  
“Well, I wasn’t supposed to, but Ben called me to get in touch with Ann, who then called me back and then I had to call Ben again, and he asked me to come here and talk to you about what he told me to tell Ann and what she said to me to tell you.”  
  
“Wait, Ben talked to you and Ann?” She was going to die of embarrassment if she didn’t kill Ben first.  
  
“Yeah, but don’t be mad at him. He really wanted to get in touch with Ann, but since he’s not allowed to call anyone besides me or Chris, he figured this was the best way. He said he knew that you probably really wanted to talk to Ann, so this was our only option. But don’t worry, they really didn’t tell me much, and Ann told me everything that she wanted me to tell you.”  
  
“You didn’t write it down?”  
  
“Ugh, that would have been a great idea. But it’s okay, I have a great memory.”  
  
Leslie placed her hands on Andy’s shoulders with reverence. “Oh, Ann, please speak your words of wisdom to me through your humble vessel.”  
  
Andy took a deep breath. “Okay, so she said ‘First tell Leslie I love her and miss her more than anything-’ “  
  
“I love you too, Ann.”  
  
“Awww. Uhm, anyway, yeah she said that she loves you and, uhm, oh shoot.”  
  
“What, Andy? What did she say next? I need to know!”  
  
“No, okay I got it. Something about wishing she could be here for you, and that she knows you’re probably hurting right now, but it’s all going to be okay. Also, you’re probably angry at Ben and refuse to talk to him, but that you really should.”  
  
Leslie threw herself face first onto the mattress and groaned. “But I don’t want to. You hear that, Ann? I don’t want to.”  
  
“Uhm, Leslie, I don’t think she can hear you.”  
  
She stared blankly at him. “Is that all she said?”  
  
“Yes?” He apologized at her groan of frustration. “I’m sorry, I forgot if she said anything else, but I’m almost positive that was what basically everything she said.”  
  
Another groan. “That was pointless. You give the worst advice ever, Ann.” Leslie quickly sat up and engulfed Andy in a hug. “No, it’s not, I’m sorry. That’s a lie. You’re the greatest, most beautiful, amazing friend ever, Ann.”  
  
Andy pats her back awkwardly. “You do know this is Andy, right? And I’m just pretending to be Ann?”  
  
She pulls away and laughs. “Yeah, Andy, sorry about that. I just miss her so much, so I’m taking out all of my pent up Ann love on you.”  
  
“That makes a lot more sense. I was getting worried for a second.” He crosses his arms. “So, what’s up with you and Ben? Do I need to beat him up for you?”  
  
“What? No, don’t do that.”  
  
He sighs in relief. “Okay, good, because I really like him. He’s super awesome.”  
  
Leslie remained silent.  
  
“Oh, I think I know what happened,” Andy stroked his chin.  
  
She grimaced. “You do?”  
  
“Yeah, it’s about money, right? He stole the presidential diamonds from the super secret vault and hid them somewhere.”  
  
“Andy, none of what you just said exists.”  
  
“Right, sure it doesn’t. There are no presidential diamonds or secret vault. Got ya,” he winked.  
  
“No, seriously, it’s not about any of that.”  
  
He deflated. “Aw, man. Then what is it?”  
  
“It’s complicated-”  
  
“Oh! Did he finally tell you he liked you?”  
  
She gaped at him. “You knew?”  
  
“Sure. I mean I noticed something was weird between you two a while back and said something. Ha, actually I thought it was about money then, too. Are you sure neither of you stole anything from the other?”  
  
“Yes, I’m sure. Now focus back here. What did he say?”  
  
Andy shrugged his shoulders. “Uhm, not much. It was the day that you got really angry at him and he seemed really upset. He said that he screwed up because he starting liking you and he was afraid he’d ruin everything. He didn’t think someone like you could ever want to be with him, you know, with his past and job and everything.”  
  
“Oh Andy, it’s all so messed up,” Leslie sighed. “He told me how he felt, and I felt the same way too, but we agreed to wait it out. Well, he wanted to wait it out. He was just so scared of ruining things that I let it go. I just figured I could make him see he was being stupid and we’d get together, but it went so wrong. I thought out here it would be different, you know? No press, no pressure, just us. But it didn’t work and I said some pretty terrible things and now I don’t know what to do.”  
  
She picked at the comforter until Andy broke the silence. “You know, at first, I was kinda terrified to go out with April. She’s amazing and wonderful and perfect, and I was afraid. I mean, my job is super dangerous and she’s so much younger than me and I knew she could do way better, so I got cold feet a few times. But then I saw how much she liked me despite all of that. She didn’t care, and we dated and fell in love and now we’re married and super happy.”  
  
“That’s really sweet, but I don’t know how that helps.”  
  
“I’m saying that I can kind of understand where Ben’s coming from. Some of the stuff we’ve seen, it’s messed up, Leslie. Watching people die, killing people, all that stuff stays in your mind and it scares you. What Ben dealt with, man, I can’t even imagine. I guess when you see all the ugly in the world, it’s hard to accept something good when it comes your way. I’m not gonna tell you to wait forever, because that’s not fair to either of you, but give him some time. Talk to him. If how he looks now is any indication, he’s not taking this any better than you are.”  
  
“You saw him? How is he?” she asked quickly.  
  
“You mean you haven’t seen him or talked to him in almost a week? You live in the same house.”  
  
Leslie looked away, embarrassed. “We’ve been giving each other space.”  
  
“Well, he looks like he hasn’t slept or eaten a good meal in days. I think he realizes that he screwed up, but isn't sure what to do. He cares about you, that much is obvious, but he’s afraid of hurting you.”  
  
“He’s hurting me now by pushing me away!”  
  
“I know that,” Andy placated, “but I think he thinks  _he’s_ doing the right thing. I’ve seen this before with some of my agents after a traumatic experience. They become super afraid of hurting their loved ones. Like all of a sudden they’re poison or something. They figure it would just be better if they stayed away, so they try. And he’s been living with that guilt almost forever. Imagine how he probably thinks.  
  
“You’re the super, awesome, kick-ass president, Leslie. You’re important. Our jobs are to protect you so you can do your job. Nothing matters to us more than that. For him, it’s probably even worse because he cares about you, like really cares. He was a wreck after his story was printed in the tabloids, not because of him, but because he was afraid of what you’d think of him.”  
  
“I know all of this. I do, I really do. I just don’t know what I can do to convince him that I don’t care. When I’m with him, I don’t want to just be his boss that he feels obligated to protect. I don’t want to be President Leslie Knope and Major Benjamin Wyatt. God, I just--I just want to be Leslie and Ben, two people who care about each other and occasionally, okay more than occasionally, make out. Is that too much to ask?”  
  
Andy wrapped his arm around Leslie’s shoulder and pulled her to his side. “It’s not, boss. That’s why you need to talk to him, really talk. Tell him exactly how you feel. He won’t change overnight, but maybe if you tell him enough, he’ll start to believe it.”  
  
She pulled him into a tight hug. “Thank you, Andy. I really needed this.”  
  
“No problem,” he replied as he squeezed her. “I really think this will work, and you and Ben will get together, and he’ll finally return those diamonds.”  
  
Leslie just sighed and shook her head. “Andy, I told you--”  
  
“Oh, right. That part isn’t real. Dang, it really should be, though.” He glanced down at his watch. “Well, I need to head back, but if you need me, you know where to reach me. Also, if he hurts you, I will beat him up.”  
  
Leslie laughed for the first time in five days. A real, honest to goodness belly laugh that left her in tears. “Thank you, Andy, but I don’t think that will be necessary. Please tell Ann that she’s perfect and I love her and thank her for me? And give my love to everyone back at the office, okay.”  
  
“Will do, boss. See ya.”  
  
He got up from the bed and closed the door behind him. Leslie could hear muffled voices coming from the living room that she could only assume belonged to Ben and Andy.  
  
Ben. They’d really screwed things up, hadn’t they.  
  
Leslie steeled herself for a conversation that was long overdue.  
  
~~~~~  
  
It took almost an hour before Leslie was able to prepare herself for what might either be the best or worst confrontation of her life. It didn’t matter that she’s taken down foreign leaders or given speeches to hundreds of diplomats. This was different, it was personal, and right now, personal was all she had--Ben was all she had, and she wasn’t going to lose him.  
  
She quietly walked out of her bedroom towards the dining room. It was his usual eating time, and she figured this would be the best chance to talk. True to his schedule, Ben was sitting at the table, his head in his hands next to a plate of untouched food.  
  
He must really be out of it, Leslie thought to herself. Under any normal circumstance, Ben would have heard her coming a mile away. Instead, he just sat there, oblivious.  
  
“Hey,” she whispered softly.  
  
His head jerked from his hands and turned towards her. Andy wasn’t lying when he said that Ben wasn’t holding up well. His eyes were red with purple bags beneath them, his hair standing up at all angles from running his hands through it, and he hadn’t bothered to even shave. He looked about as miserable as she felt.  
  
“Hey,” he croaked back, “I’m sorry I was just about to leave. I’ll be out of your hair in a minute.”  
  
Leslie stilled him with a hand on his shoulder. “No, stay. I think it’s time we had our talk. Way past time, actually. Is that okay?”  
  
He shook his head quickly. “Uh, yeah, that’s good.”  
  
She took the seat next to him, folding and refolding her hands on the tabletop. She could feel his gaze burning a hole in the side of her head as he waited for her to speak.  
  
“Uhm, first of all, Ben, I wanted to apologize.”  
  
“Leslie, you don’t owe me--”  
  
“Yes, I do,” she cut him off. “I was drunk and I came on way too strong and got upset when you didn’t want what I wanted. I said some pretty harsh things. I’m gonna be honest, I meant most of what I said, but I do regret how I said it. It wasn’t fair to you at all.”  
  
“Les-”  
  
“No, please, I just want to get this all out first, okay? Please?”  
  
He nodded mutely.  
  
She took a deep breath. “I messed up. I admit that. I was selfish and only focused on getting my way instead of listening to you. I think we both know that I’m not the most patient person in the world.”  
  
He chuckled at that. “No, you’re definitely not.”  
  
“Well, anyway,” she smirked, “I’m not the most patient person, and I didn’t give you what you needed, which was time. But I also want to better explain my side. You just frustrate me sometimes. I felt like I was getting all of these mixed signals from you for weeks. Anytime I felt like we were getting closer, you’d push me away, only for the cycle to repeat itself. And it hurt, Ben. It still hurts.”  
  
“I don’t mean to hurt you.”  
  
“I know you don’t, but that’s what I’m talking about. You have this idea that I’m this perfect person that needs to be put up on a pedestal just out of reach from you, but I’m not. I’m not too good for you, my life and career aren’t gonna come tumbling to the ground if we get involved. Will the press talk? Probably. I mean it’s their job, but I don’t care. I don’t know how many times I have to say it until you believe me, but I’ll keep saying it because it’s true. You’re not unworthy of me or whatever else is going through your head.”  
  
Ben sighed and wiped his face. “I want to believe you, I really do. It’s just so hard to let all of this go.”  
  
“I know it is.” Leslie reached forward and held one of his hands. “I can’t even begin to imagine what you’ve gone through and how it affects you, but I want to understand. I want you to be able to come to me and tell me these things so I can help you. I’ve seen you at some of your worst moments. I know your story, I’ve seen your wrists, I’ve woken you from nightmares and held you, and all it does is make me care about you more.  
  
“I want to be there for you through everything, just like you’ve been there for me. If you don’t feel that way for me, I can accept that. It’ll hurt, but I can get over it. But please,  _please_ don’t deny us the chance to try because you’re afraid of hurting me, because I don’t think anything will hurt worse than looking back and regretting that we never even gave it a chance.”  
  
She pulled the chess piece from her pocket and slid it across the table. “You are truly an amazing and wonderful man, and honestly the only person other than my father who deserves this. It symbolizes everything that you are but refuse to see in yourself. Anytime you start to doubt yourself--or us, look at this and know that you have two Pawnee presidents on your side. My dad would have been proud to call you one of his soldiers.”  
  
Ben reached out and ran his finger over the grooves of the wooden horse head. “I want all of that. I want that so badly it hurts sometimes. I want to believe that I am a good enough soldier, a good enough man. I’m just so scared of messing up, but I ended up doing that anyway.”  
  
“I know you’re scared. I am, too. It scares me how much I’ve come to depend on you, how much I need you. I’ve never needed anyone the way that I feel I need you, but it also excites me. No matter what you might think about yourself, I have so much faith in you it makes this fear go away a little.  
  
“I’m not naive. I know that this won’t be easy. There are gonna be times when I push too hard, and days when your insecurities might get the best of you and you try to hide from me, but I know we can do this. We can go as slow as you want. We don’t have to rush into anything. I just--I want to be with you in any way that I can.”  
  
She looked at him, her eyes pleading and her lip trembling. She wanted him to say yes--needed him to. She couldn’t lose him, not after everything they had been through together. He just kept searching her eyes, and it worried her that he hadn’t said anything.  
  
But he didn’t have to. He answered her with a kiss.  
  
~~~~~  
  
It was amazing how quickly that one little shift changed everything. They had both agreed to take things slow, but it was so worth it. It had only been a week since their talk, but she didn’t remember feeling more content. They were back to their “pre-fight” closeness, with a bit more makeouts and cuddling thrown in here and there.  
  
The biggest change was that they were talking now. Not just about the case or little stupid things here and there. They were actually opening up, telling each other everything they had been too scared to share.  
  
Leslie opened up more about her past, how her childhood shaped her, made her the woman she was today. Ben talked about what happened after ICE Town, about his recovery, his therapy, the nightmares. He was still holding things back, Leslie knew that, but it didn’t make her any less proud of him. He wasn’t going to change just because they admitted their feelings, but the fact that he was trying was all she needed.  
  
Perhaps the most significant thing was that Ben was starting to be more comfortable with his body around her. He wasn’t walking around shirtless, unfortunately, but two days ago he walked out of his room wearing a short-sleeved t-shirt.  
  
There was a look of trepidation on his face as he walked towards her, trying his best to not cross his arms to cover his scars.  
  
She wasn’t sure what she expected the first time she saw them. The worst of the burn scars ended just below elbows, the intricate pattern radiating up his arm like a spider’s web. The faint lines on his wrists that he had once shown her in anger months ago also stood out against his pale skin. But this wasn’t out of anger, or fear, or anything else; it was for them.  
  
She couldn’t imagine how hard this was, and her heart almost burst with affection. This was what mattered. He was showing her that she trusted him. Trusted her to see parts of him he rarely showed anyone, trusted her to not run away.  
  
She hadn’t realized that she was blatantly staring until he caught her eye and smiled nervously. He was about to say something when she ran to him and jumped in his arms. She peppered tiny kisses to his neck as she clutched onto him, whispering “Thank you” over and over again against his skin.  
  
That’s where they were now, in the bubble that surrounds the beginning of every good relationship. There was no outside world to infringe on their happiness, just the two of them opening up and enjoying each other’s company.  
  
Andy had managed to smuggle them a Wii, and the pair were currently engaged in a brutal Mario Kart battle.  
  
“No, no, no,” Leslie squealed. “I can’t believe you threw a banana at me.”  
  
“Sorry, Leslie, but there is no mercy in Mario Kart,” he answered as he pressed the buttons on the controller. “Plus, that was payback for when you threw a shell at me the last game. Don’t think I’ve forgotten that.”  
  
“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” she mumbled as she made her way back towards first place. She sporadically attempted to distract him by getting up to block his view or trying to slap the controller out of his hands. She finally managed to smack it to the ground just as they were both rounding the final curve, Leslie claiming the victory.  
  
“Yes! I won. Suck it, Wyatt. Woohoo.”  
  
“Not fair. You cheated.”  
  
“That’s not cheating. We in politics like to call that effective strategy.”  
  
“Well, we in the real world call that cheating. Just admit it, you cheated so you’d win.”  
  
She crossed her arms indignantly. “I will do no such thing. You’re just a sore loser.”  
  
“Admit it,” he growled, slowly backing her into the couch.  
  
“Or what?” she challenged.  
  
“Don’t make me do it, Leslie.”  
  
“I can take whatever you bring. I’m not afraid of you.”  
  
“Oh, but you should be.”  
  
He leapt forward as she fell onto the couch, his hands invading her sides in a series of aggressive tickles.  
  
“Ben, no,” she laughed, trying her best to push his hands away, but failing.  
  
“Not until you admit that you cheated.”  
  
“Never!”  
  
“Then suffer my wrath.” He tried an evil, menacing laugh, but that only caused Leslie to giggle even more. She was lying flat on her back on the couch, Ben looming over her.  
  
He was unrelenting in his attack, and finally Leslie couldn’t take anymore. “Okay, okay, I admit it. I cheated so I’d win. I confess.”  
  
His face was still inches from hers, and she could feel the puffs of his breath as he spoke. “Victory is mine,” he said when his fingers stopped their assault on her sides.  
  
“Please, don’t tell me this is how you get information out of suspects. It’s inhumane.”  
  
“Oh, never. I only save this for the worst of offenders.” He pressed a small kiss on the end of her nose before resting his forehead against hers.  
  
Leslie started running her fingers through his hair as she caught her breath, contented smiles on both of their faces.  
  
She loved his eyes, the warm, chocolate brown that always seemed to stare right through her. He told her everything with his eyes, even the things he wanted to hide. His anger, his fear.  
  
His love.  
  
She knew he loved her, he told her in in every way but with words. He could try to hide it, try to convince himself he didn’t deserve her, but his eyes gave him away every time.  
  
But when he looked at her now, there was something different. It was a hunger, a passion that she had never seen in him before. A desire solely focused on her.  
  
He continued to stare, his eyes smoldering as he licked his lips. She wanted those lips on her, any part of her, but he didn’t move. He was searching for something, hesitating, and that wasn’t going to work for her.  
  
One hand slipped down from his hair and grasped him behind his neck, pulling his face to hers. She didn’t think she’d ever get tired of the way this felt, how warm and soft his mouth was, how perfectly his lips fit against hers.  
  
When his tongue pressed against her lip, she let him in. When his hand pulled at her hair, she groaned. When she felt how much he wanted her, she raised her hips to his.  
  
“I want you. I want you so badly,” he breathed into her mouth.  
  
She could only hum her approval. They were on his timing now. He couldn’t possibly want anything that she wasn’t ready and willing to give him.  
  
“If I asked to take this to the bedroom-”  
  
She cut him off. “I’d say ‘yours or mine’.”  
  
“Yours, definitely, yours.”  
  
He didn’t let her go the entire walk to her bedroom, the game left abandoned in the living room. She fell back onto her sheets, the weight of Ben over her igniting thousands of tiny sparks across her skin.  
  
One by one, he shed her layers, his mouth exploring every inch of newly exposed skin until she was just left with her panties. She ran her hands beneath his shirt and slowly tried to raise it, but he stopped her.  
  
“Not yet. Please, let me do this for you first.”  
  
She didn’t want to wait. She wanted to feel him, see him--all of him, but she nodded.  
  
He mapped her body with his tongue for what felt like an eternity, the growing tension becoming harder to ignore. She wanted to scream in frustration, but the only sounds she could make were moans and sighs.  
  
When he removed that last piece, exposing her to him, she looked into his eyes. She saw that same hunger, that same desire, that same love he couldn’t voice yet.  
  
She was his salvation. Whether she was prepared for that kind of responsibility or not, she wasn’t sure, but she was more than willing to try.  
  
At the first swipe of his tongue, her mind went blank. No more thoughts about the past, about what this would mean for them moving forward, nothing. Just Ben.  
  
Leslie writhed as his mouth assaulted her, licking and kissing and teasing her closer and closer to oblivion. Her hands reached blindly for his hair, and he only moaned as she tugged on his scalp.  
  
When he finally,  _finally_ gave her what she needed, the explosion of heat left her boneless, barely aware of Ben kissing is way up her body. When she had the strength to open her eyes, he was waiting, a smile so beautiful and brilliant she wanted nothing more than to kiss it off of him.  
  
“This isn’t very fair,” she panted. “I shouldn’t be the only one this naked and feeling this good.”  
  
Without a warning, she switched their positions, her naked body straddling his clothed one, kissing the taste of her off of his tongue. Her hand once again slipped under the hem of his shirt and she looked at him, waiting for his approval.  
  
When he nodded, she kissed him again, over and over until she had to pull away to lift the shirt over his head.  
  
The sight of him brought tears to her eyes, tears she couldn’t hide from him even though she wanted to. The scars were old, the same spider web pattern she had seen on his arm spread across his chest and shoulders. Standing out from the rest was the new scar just next to his heart, the puckered bullet wound he had because of her. She traced the lines of his scars with a delicate finger as the tears fell.  
  
“I’m sorry. Please don’t cry,” he begged. “I know they’re bad, but we can turn the light off or I can put my shirt back on-”  
  
“Don’t you dare, Ben Wyatt. I’m crying because you’re so beautiful, and I wish I could take your pain away. I’m crying because this should have never happened to you.” She pressed her lips against the scar next to his heart. “I’m crying because you still think you need to hide from me. You don’t. You’ll never have to ever again.”  
  
His own eyes glistened with unshed tears as he nodded, Leslie sealing her declaration with a kiss to his lips before moving her attentions elsewhere.  
  
She pushed him flat against the mattress, going over every piece of raised skin with her tongue. She worshiped his body like he had done to her, and could only hope that he felt a fraction of the love that he made her feel.  
  
Once she had removed his pants and shorts, she only stroked him a few times before he stilled her hand and flipped them. She whined in protest, but he shut her up with a kiss.  
  
“It’s been a really long time for me. I won’t last if you keep doing that.”  
  
She nodded in understanding, opening her legs so he could better settle himself between them.  
  
When he pushed into her, she knew what it felt like to be full and complete. She shouldn’t have been surprised that his attention to detail would have carried over into their lovemaking, but it was still a shock that he seemed to know exactly what she needed.  
  
It wasn’t perfect, the first time never is, but it was more than even her imagination had allowed her to contemplate. It just felt...right.  
  
He came with her name on his lips, apologies that he just couldn’t wait anymore. That didn’t matter, he had already given that to her before. She cradled his head against her breast when he collapsed on top of her, peppering kisses across his scalp and forehead.  
  
He tried to roll off of her, but she held him in place. She had him now, and she wasn’t letting go.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the outside world invades Ben and Leslie's seclusion, will their new relationship survive? Also, a surprising twist in the case makes Ben come face-to-face with his past, and what it could mean for his future.

Happy was not a word that Ben would use to define himself. Even on his best days, he couldn’t say he was anything more than content. Content in his job, content to be alive, content that he got through a night without waking up in a cold sweat. He had his moments of brief happiness, especially once he started working for Leslie, but no, Ben Wyatt hadn’t been happy since he was 18 years old.

Until now.

He gently caressed the bare flesh of Leslie’s back as she slept, creating a masterpiece as he drew his fingers across the constellations formed by her freckles.

He had finally let go of his fears and said yes to the woman of his dreams. He knew what his name sounded like as she whispered it, screamed it in ecstasy. He knew what it felt like to be inside of her, to be consumed by her. He knew what it was to get lost in someone and not be afraid to never find his way back.

He loved her, he was more sure of that than anything. And he knew she loved him, too. They didn’t voice it, he wasn’t ready for that yet, but it was still there.

He was in bed with the woman he loved, and despite everything else that could go wrong in his life, that fact alone made him happy.

Leslie’s breathing changed as she let out a sigh and turned over with a lazy smile.

“Hey.” Her voice was low and throaty, making Ben shiver.

The finger that had been tracing her back had migrated to her arm now sticking out over the bedsheet that barely covered her breasts.

“Hi.”

She seemed to need to touch him as much as he did, twining her legs with his and running a gentle hand over his chest.

“Why aren’t you sleeping? You okay?” Concern shined in her eyes as her brow furrowed.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he reassured her. “I’m...better than fine.” He reached for her waist and ran a thumb over her hipbone. He just couldn’t stop touching her. “I was just thinking about stuff and watching you sleep.”

“Good stuff?”

He looked at her and smiled. “Yeah, good stuff. Amazing stuff. I love watching you sleep.”

“Okay, creeper. Do that often?”

“At the risk of sounding like a pervert, I do. At first, it was because you’d fall asleep while we watched a movie or something, so I didn’t feel too bad about it.” He cleared his throat. “Then, uhm, when we got here and I’d have nightmares, I’d--I’d stand outside your door and try to hear you. Make sure you were okay. Once you started leaving your door open, well, I would watch you until I could go fall back asleep.”

He could feel his face flaming as he laughed nervously. “I hope that didn’t freak you out.”

“No, not at all.” Her voice was gentle and encouraging, not a trace of anger or unease. “I was always worried about you after, well you know, and hoped you’d come to me if you needed to. I’m glad I was able to help even if I didn’t know it.”

Ben ran the back of his hand across her cheekbone in a featherlight touch before curling a piece of unruly hair behind her ear. “You’ve always helped me, even before I knew you personally, you’ve helped me. My commitment to Pawnee--to you, has been my driving force for as long as I remember.”

“Wow, talk about some high expectations. No pressure,” she said dryly.

“You know what I mean. And no, there is no pressure because no matter what my expectations of you were coming into this assignment, you’ve exceeded them a thousand times over. I just never in a million years would have thought that this,” he gestured between them, “could ever be possible. That someone like you could ever...”

She gave his middle a gentle squeeze. “Well, believe it. We’re a team. We have been for a while, but now our team is stronger and better than ever. I’m speaking now as both the president of Pawnee and the woman that plans on sharing your bed for a very long time. There is no one else I’d rather have on my team, watching my back or...loving me.”

He opened his mouth but she put a finger to his lips. “You don’t have to say anything. I know this isn’t easy for you, and I don’t expect to hear it anytime soon. It’ll be nice, one day, but not before you’re ready. I already know how you feel, and that’s enough for me right now. Especially, if what happened last night -twice- is how you plan on showing me, I’m definitely okay with that.”

As if it was possible, Ben pulled Leslie even closer to him, hitching her leg over his hip while he moved in to kiss her breathless. “Thank you.”

Leslie brushed some of his hair away from his forehead.“You think you can get some sleep now?”

He answered with an unexpected yawn and shook his head. “I have a beautiful woman in my arms, and my body is demanding sleep. I must be getting old.”

She smiled and pressed a quick kiss to his nose. “There’s always tomorrow. I want you well rested.”

“As you wish, Madam President.”

He managed to fall asleep and wasn’t plagued by a single nightmare. When he woke, her side was empty, as expected, but her warmth was still there. He rolled into her pillow and couldn’t help but smile as be breathed in her scent, a pleasant heat radiating within his chest.

He could get used to being happy.

~~~~~

Ben ran from the bathroom, his hair still dripping wet from his shower as he threw on his shirt to answer the persistent knock on the door. He was more than surprised to see Andy standing there, several large files in his hand.

“Hey, Andy, what are you doing here? We weren’t expecting you until tomorrow.”

“There have been some new developments that couldn’t wait. Not even for your phone call with Chris later.”

Just as Ben was about to respond, he heard footsteps coming from down the hall.

“Hey, Ben, who was at the--oh, hey, Andy!” Leslie walked into the living room in sweatpants and one of Ben’s old t-shirts, using a towel to dry her own wet hair. While Ben was frozen in panic, Leslie seemed unfazed that both of them look freshly showered in a cabin that only housed one bathroom.

“Hi, Leslie,” Andy waved back in his usual, enthusiastic way.

“What are you doing here?”

Andy’s smile dropped a little, and he stood up straighter. “There have been some new developments in the case that I wanted to discuss and get Major Ben’s opinion on.”

She eyed the files in Andy’s hand and nodded. “Give me a few minutes to finish getting ready, and we can talk.”

Before she left, she ran a hand up and down Ben’s arm and gave him a soft smile.

He watched her as she walked back towards the hallway before eventually turning back to Andy’s knowing smirk.

“So, you two…”

“No, Andy, it’s not what you think.”

Andy just raised his eyebrows and smiled wider.

“Okay, it’s exactly what you think.”

“I knew it.” He threw a fist in the air in triumph. “Remember, I am highly trained in the art of observation. It’s all too simple, really. The wet hair, you were all out of breath when you came to the door, the way she smiled at you...She totally beat you in a water gun fight, didn’t she? Aw, man, I love those. If only I had come a little earlier maybe I could have joined.”

Ben stared at the agent incredulously. “What? No, Andy, we’re...we’re together now. You know, like together together. Seeing each other romantically…”

A flicker of recognition passed through Andy’s eyes and his mouth gaped open. “No way! Congrats, man.” He gave Ben a high five. “I knew you could do it. She’s totally into you.”

Ben tried to hide his grin but failed. “Thanks. And thank you for talking to her before. Your advice really helped the both of us, so we appreciate it.”

“Just doing my civic duty.”

Leslie came walking back down the hall, her hair now dry, and she had changed into a pair of jeans and a casual top.

Andy ran to her and pulled her into a tight hug.

“Whoa, Andy, where’d this come from?”

He squinted his eyes and hugged her tighter. “Ben told me about you two. I’m just so happy.”

She shot Ben a look as she patted Andy's back. “Thank you. You certainly helped.”

He pulled away and smiled proudly. “What can I say, I’m a master of love.”

“Okay,” Ben interrupted, “not that we don’t enjoy your company, but you said there was something important to show us?”

“Oh right.” Andy handed Ben the files, and the trio walked over to the table. “Last night, Officer Andrew Brandt was found dead in his home from an apparent suicide. We aren’t sure if it’s connected, but he was employed at the prison and was on duty the night that Sewage Joe died.”

Ben leafed through the files. “It says here that he resigned from his post only a few days prior.”

“Yup,” Andy nodded. “If he was suicidal, that might make sense. You know, tying up loose ends or whatever.”

“No note?”

“Not that was found. He’s going in for an autopsy as we speak, so you’ll be sent that report too..”

Ben only nodded slightly as he looked through the crime scene photos. “He was hung the same way as Joe.”

“Yeah, that’s kinda why Chris insisted we look into this and not just rule it as a suicide.”

Leslie peered over Ben’s shoulder. “Do you think he has some kind of personal connection to Joe or Joe’s death?”

“It’s too early to tell,” Andy shrugged. “He was on duty that same night, but at an entirely different wing of the prison. Not to mention he wasn’t on any of the logs for Joe’s cell.”

“Okay,” Ben said, “I’m gonna need everything you can find on this guy. Bank statements, credit card bills, his autopsy report, and surveillance tapes of the prison. Particularly Joe’s cell.”

“Did no one look at those when Joe died?” Leslie asked.

“They did, but I want to look at them myself.”

“Do you think they missed something?”

“Maybe. I just need to verify it for my own peace of mind. Can you get those for me, Andy?”

“Will do, Major Ben,” he answered. “I'll bring you everything that I can.”

“Thanks a lot.”

“No problem, but I’d better get going now, though. I’ll have that information for you as soon as possible.”

“Come on, Andy. I’ll walk you out,” Leslie said as she got up from the table.

“Okay, you two crazy kids. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” Andy said with an exaggerated wink.

Ben only nodded and waved his hand absentmindedly, once again immersed in the files in front of him.

After Andy left, Leslie walked back into the dining room and rested her hands on Ben’s shoulders from behind the chair.

“So, what do we know about him?” she asked.

“He was thirty-two, single, no children, and lived alone. Kept to himself mostly. Coworkers said he was quiet and reserved, didn’t have much family.”

“Definitely sounds like he fits the profile of someone suicidal.”

He tilted his head to look up at her. “Or someone who makes an easy target for bribery or blackmail.”

“Really?”

“Trust me, I’ve seen it before. He definitely fits the profile: loner with a high security but low paying job. After I take a look at his finances I’ll know more, but if he had money problems or maybe some kind of personal issue that could have been used as leverage, he’d make the perfect target for someone trying to exploit his position. He lives alone with no strong ties to the community, so he’d make it easy for someone to get rid of him should the need arise. He’s perfectly expendable.”

“You definitely don’t think this was a suicide.”

“Not at all.” He rifled through the crime scene photos and pulled out a wide shot of the officer’s bedroom. “Look here, in the corner of the room. It’s a half packed suitcase. He was going somewhere. That’s most likely the reason he resigned from his job, too. His passport was issued not even a month ago, so my thinking is that he was running somewhere outside of the country completely. Someone else just got to him first. Look here,” he pointed to a page in Brandt’s personnel file, “it says he has only one surviving relative, his mother, and she's in the advanced stages of alzheimers. She required round-the- clock care and was living in a subpar nursing home. For someone like him, I’m sure they used this to convince him to take their offer. Two weeks ago she was moved to one of the most prestigious special care facilities in the country. What corrections officer can afford that all of a sudden?”

“I guess,” Leslie frowned. “It just feels so circumstantial.”

“At this point it is, I’ll admit. I really don’t have anything more than a hunch to back everything up which is why I need as much information as I can. There has to be hard evidence in here somewhere. He was caught up in all of this somehow. I know it.”

He went through the files again, analyzing each picture, every letter on every page for some kind of clue, anything that he could use to connect the officer to Joe’s death.

He always got lost in his cases, so driven and focused that he effectively blocked out the world around him. He was only vaguely aware of Leslie watching over his shoulder, her fingernails gently massaging his scalp as she ran her hands through his hair. After a minute or two, her fingers stopped and he felt her lips replace them.

“Well, I know you’re going to get lost in those for hours, so I’m gonna go to my room. Andy managed to smuggle in some work for me.”

“You don’t have to leave,” he said without raising his eyes. “You can set up on the other side of the table.”

He tossed one of the files aside, and she laughed as he reached for a new one. “I’ve seen you work, Ben. In no time, this table will be so covered in papers that we won’t be able to see the wood.”

She rubbed his shoulders briefly, then turned to walk away, but Ben reached out and snatched her hand, pulling her back towards him.

He finally tore his gaze from the files and looked up at her with a tiny smile. He tugged on her hand, pulling her face towards his own.

“Thank you,” he mumbled against her lips.

“You’re welcome. We’ve worked together long enough to know how the other operates. You know better than to make any sudden movements if I’m writing and haven’t blinked for over two minutes, and I know that sharing a work surface with you is practically impossible.”

“Aww, I’m not that bad.”

As if to prove her point, Leslie raised her eyebrows and glanced over at the table. True enough, about two-thirds of it were already hidden under a layer of folders and paper.

“Okay, fine. Point taken. I’ll let you know if I find anything.”

It was hours later when Leslie finally pulled him from his work. Hours after he declined to eat, after he ignored every sign from his body begging for a break, after he answered any queries sent his way with noncommittal grunts and waves of his hand.

“Alright, Wyatt,” she said sometime after midnight, gently rubbing up and down his arm. “You’re practically falling asleep.”

“A few more minutes, Leslie,” he protested.

“Nope, not gonna happen. Those papers are gonna be useless if you fall asleep and drool all over them. Besides, I’m tired and you’re my favorite pillow,” she teased.

“Wow, I must be in pretty bad shape if the queen of workaholics and no sleep is telling me I’m working too hard.”

She pinched his arm and grinned when he feigned injury. “I prefer the title of president over queen, thank you very much. And yes, you are in pretty bad shape. Don’t make me order you.”

“Mmm, I do find women in power very sexy.”

“Well, lucky for you then. Now, come on. Let’s get you to bed. Those files will still be there tomorrow.”

He stood up and laced his fingers with hers as she tugged him towards the bedroom. “I know. I just really want to find something useful. Something that can bring me one step closer to getting you out of here.”

She turned and used her free hand to gently push a few stray strands of hair away from his forehead. “I know, and you will. This could be a huge break, and once you have all of the information, you’ll find something”

Ben sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled Leslie between his legs. “I hope so. I really do.”

As he looked up at her, her blue eyes shining with love and trust, it reaffirmed for the thousandth time how important this was to him--how hard he needed to work to make sure she was safe and could go home.

She had put so much faith in him, and he wasn’t going to fail

~~~~~

Ben heard the backdoor open and two sets of footsteps walk towards him as he scribbled furiously on his notepad. Leslie and Andy had been out back practicing at Ron’s shooting range, a frequent occurrence as of late. Given the circumstances, everyone thought it best that Leslie learn basic self defense. Ben had started teaching her to shoot only a few weeks prior, and she excelled at it immediately.

He declined the invitation to join in favor of continuing to look over the new information that Andy brought with him.

“Hey, how’d it go?” he asked the pair.

“Awesome,” Andy answered. “Leslie is an amazing shot.”

Leslie smiled brightly and gave Ben a wink. “Well, I did have an amazing teacher.”

“Only because his pupil is so naturally talented and amazing at everything she does. Not to mention she’s adorable,” he flirted back.

“Maybe I just tried extra hard because I wanted to be the teacher’s pet?”

“Awww, you two are so cute,” Andy interrupted, smiling at the two of them.

They tore their eyes away from each other, having briefly forgotten that they had an audience.

“Well,” Ben cleared his throat, “I’m glad you’re back because I think I’ve found some things in his financials and personnel files.” He pulled out several month’s worth of credit card and bank statements. “Brandt managed to rack up some serious credit card debt over the last several years, debt that he was beginning to significantly pay off more recently. His bank statements show that he was receiving large, automatic deposits twice every week for the last few months altogether totaling close to fifty grand.”

“Any idea who those were coming from?” Leslie asked.

“I’m having Chris look into it, but I don’t think he’ll find anything other than a dead end. My bet is that it’s some kind of cover or shell corporation and their trail has long been covered up.”

“And you’re thinking this was payment for him agreeing to kill Joe?”

“Something like that. Maybe be their eyes and ears within the prison? I mean, the payments started a week before Joe was even arrested.”

Leslie frowned as she read through the statements. “How is that possible? They couldn't have known when you were going to figure out who was sending the notes.”

“It was either very good timing on their part, or…”

“Or what?”

Ben’s mind was racing, connecting the scattered pieces trying to form some cohesive picture. He flashed back to the notes, the “black knight’s” constant taunting and air of superiority, Joe running into him in the hallway, Joe’s confession-- every move had been planned to the last detail, and he was playing right into it.

“Or that was their goal all along.” He slammed his hand on the table. “Fuck! I didn't figure anything out, and Joe wasn't ‘taunting’ me in that hallway after delivering your food. He ran into me on purpose. He was giving himself up because that’s when he was supposed to. They never expected us to figure it out on our own.”

“Ben, you aren't making sense.”

“It’s just another part of their game,” he spat. “God, I actually thought I got Joe on my own, but he was just setting me up. I’m sure if I had been too stupid to put it all together after I saw him, something else was going to happen. Either way, we were supposed to arrest him when we did. Why else would he be so forthcoming? That was all a part of his piece of the plan.”

“But why then? Why that specific timing?” Andy questioned.

“The park opening. Their goal was to use that as the opportunity to kill Leslie, so maybe they thought this would somehow serve as a diversion? Focus on Joe so they could sneak someone else in? I don’t know yet, but it has to be that. Then, with all of the uproar and chaos that followed the shooting, Officer Brandt sneaks into Joe’s cell, kills him, and makes it look like a suicide.”

“There’s only one problem,” Andy interrupted. “The security footage outside of Joe’s cell doesn't show anyone going in or out anywhere near his time of death.”

Leslie grimaced and rubbed her temples. “So we have nothing definitively connecting Brandt to Joe’s death.”

“But we know he was involved somehow. The money proves that. He killed Joe and then they killed him.”

“We don’t know that, Ben. You read the autopsy report yourself on both of them. There was nothing to suggest foul play.”

Ben dropped his jaw and stared at Leslie. “How can you say that? Where else could the money have come from? And you saw the new passport and suitcase-”

“Yes, I did,” she interrupted, “but that doesn't mean he was running from anything. You say he was packing flee somewhere, but there was no record of him buying any kind of ticket.”

Ben’s jaw clenched. “If he knew they were after him, he probably didn't want them to know where he was going.”

“Without anything directly tying Brandt to Joe or that cell, we can’t prove any of this.”

Ben blinked at her, his eyes growing hard, his fists clenching at his sides. “You don’t believe me, do you?”

“Ben, it’s not that-”

“No, bottom line is that you don’t believe me. I know I’m right, but you don’t have any kind of faith in me. You’re just like Trumple.”

She physically flinched as though his words had slapped her in the face. If he wasn’t so angry, he might have felt bad for what he said, for causing that flicker of pain in her eyes, but he didn’t. All that mattered to him was her trust, and he didn’t have that anymore.

Andy stood there dumbfounded. “Ben, it’s not that we don’t trust or believe you-”

“No,” Ben cut him off. “I don’t care what you have to say. I get it. You need more proof. Fine.” He picked up the security tapes. “I’ll go through every single one of these until my eyes bleed and find something. I know I’m right and I don’t give a damn if you two don’t think so. Now, if you’ll excuse me, President Knope and Director Dwyer, I have some tapes to review.”

He stalked off to the living room, Andy calling out after him.

“Don’t, Andy,” Ben heard Leslie say. “I think it’s best that you leave. I would like to speak to Major Wyatt in private.”

There was a hardness in her voice, one that he hadn’t heard since his first day at The Capitol. He tried to block it out as he forcefully put in the disk, images of the prison filling the screen.

He sat on the couch, remote in hand, fast forwarding and rewinding the footage. He heard the front door slam and ignored Leslie’s angry footsteps until she stood in front of the screen, her arms folded across her chest.

“Can you excuse me? You’re blocking the television.”

“What the hell was that?!” she yelled, her arms now unfolded and clenched at her sides. “I don’t know who the fuck you think you are, but just because we’re sleeping together doesn’t mean that you can talk to me that way. You are still a soldier under my employ, and you will treat me with the respect afforded to me and my position.”

“I’m just trying to do my job,” he shot back. “That’s the whole reason I’m here, right? And excuse me for being upset when the one person who’s supposed to trust me the most, who supposedly trusts me with her life, thinks I’m spouting a bunch of nonsense.”

“Damnit, Ben, this has nothing to do with trust. Of course I trust you and your judgement. I always have, but that doesn’t mean I can just take what you say at face value. You know that we need something concrete. I can’t just take this before a military tribunal and say ‘This is what happened because my boyfriend said so.’ We need evidence.”

Ben shook his head in disbelief. “Is that what this is all about? You have to give me a hard time now because we’re involved? God forbid you follow the hunches of your crazy boyfriend.”

“You know that’s not how it is, but at the same time, I can’t make it look like I’m compromising my judgement because we’re together now.”

“Yeah, well, before we were sleeping together, you actually believed me and my theories until I had the proof to back them up because you knew I was right.” He laughed sardonically. “Why did I think that this could possibly work? That you and I could actually be involved during this?”

Ben saw the look of fear and panic seep into her demeanor. “You don’t mean that.”

“Don’t I? How can we possibly be an effective team if you’re so worried about not looking like you’re playing favorites.”

“Oh, so this is my fault?” She walked over to where he sat on the couch and looked down at him. “I’m the one to blame for trying to make both of us come out of this with our reputations intact, while you throw a fit like a petulant child because I ask that you do your damn job and find me some evidence? Don’t blame me or this relationship because you’re at a dead end and frustrated.”

“Oh, please, you’re one to talk. You know you’re just as bad as this, if not worse when you don’t get your way.”

“My less than appropriate behavior in the past has nothing to do with this nor does it give you the right to behave this way.”

He was done with this conversation. Irrational and all-consuming anger was coursing through his veins. He honestly didn’t know if their relationship was a mistake. He just wanted to make her feel as hurt and betrayed as he was.

He refused to look her in the eye, choosing instead to stare straight ahead. His jaw was aching from the pressure he was putting on it. His body language seemed to get his message across, and Leslie stomped away with a huff.

“Just do your job,” she yelled at him before going outside, the back door slamming behind her.

He heaved a deep breath and resumed the playback, the empty hallway outside of Joe’s cell reflecting back at him.

~~~~~

Ben spent hours going through the surveillance tapes, checking not only outside of Joe’s cell directly, but any corridor or pathway that could be used to get there, and there was still nothing. No sign of Brandt, no sign of anyone--not even any kind of clue that the tapes had been tampered with in some way.

Whoever faked the footage, and Ben firmly believed someone did, was a genius. All of the frames fit seamlessly together without any sign that one set of film had been replaced with another.

He was fuming, tossing the remote onto the sofa in disgust, at either at the tapes or himself, he wasn’t sure. Most likely a combination of both.

It was then that he realized that after all of this time, Leslie still hadn’t come inside. He remembered hearing her out at the shooting range about an hour ago, but that was it.

He folded his arms across his chest and sighed, thinking back to their fight and his less than stellar attitude. He was angry and hurt, and he took it out on her which wasn’t fair, he knew that, but that didn’t stop him.

He had been so blinded by rage and determination at proving himself right that he took her reluctance as a personal slight against him.

And she was right. He did need proof, and so far all he had was a hunch and nothing to back it up.

He dropped his head into his hands and groaned. God, how could he have been so stupid and selfish. He not only questioned her, but threw their entire relationship under the bus, one that was already walking the thin line of propriety.

Swallowing his wounded pride, he got up from the couch and started his task of finding Leslie and making things right.

Luckily, his search didn’t take long. He stepped out of the back door and found her in her favorite spot: the porch swing, her legs tucked up beneath her.

If she heard him, she didn’t give any indication, continuing to look out at the woods. Not until he rattled the swing when he sat down beside her did she look at him from the corner of her eye.

"So, I'm an ass."

She flicked her eyes back towards the tree line. "You won't hear an argument from me,” she said without a hint of her usual teasing.

He reached for her hand tentatively and laced their fingers together when she didn't pull away. She stared at their joined hands but still refused to look at him.

“I--God, Leslie, I’m so sorry. I don’t even know what else to say. I fucked up royally, and I let my anger just get the best of me. I was just so sure of myself and when you questioned me, I blew up. It doesn’t excuse my behavior, but it felt like you weren’t on my side and-”

“Ben, that has nothing to do with it,” she interjected.

“No, I know that, I do. I just wasn’t thinking straight. Of course you need some kind of proof, but I was just stressed and I felt backed into a corner and I took it out on you, which wasn’t fair. It’s not an excuse, but your trust means so much to me that when I thought I lost it, I couldn’t handle it.”

He took his free hand and cupped Leslie’s cheek, running his thumb across her skin. “And please don’t think for one second that I regret this--regret us. That was the dumbest thing that I could have ever said. You were right--you’re always right. I got angry and took it out on what was most vulnerable, and I can’t apologize enough for that.”

Her lower lip started to tremble. “That really hurt me. You were always the one on the fence about us and telling me why it wouldn’t work, and when you said that...I really got scared that you meant it and were going to-”

“No. God, no.” He pulled her into a tight embrace, resting his head in the crook of her neck. “I’m so sorry,” he repeated over and over into her skin. “You are the most important thing in the world to me, and it was so wrong of me to take cheap shots at you and our relationship because I was upset. I don’t deserve it, but please forgive me.”

She pulled back and held Ben’s head in front of her own. “You know that you had no right to speak to me that way.”

“Yes, and I’m so sorry. This is what I was trying to tell you before. I have...anger issues, and I’ve been working on it but I felt threatened and it just comes out before I can control it.”

“We’re gonna have to work on that.”

He nodded strongly. “Of course, yes.”

Her eyes softened and her thumb rubbed against his cheek. “And I am on your side, I’ll always be on your side, but that doesn’t mean that because of what we are, I can let you get away with anything.”

“No, you’re absolutely right. It was wrong of me to think that. I guess I’m still not sure how to handle this, separating the work from us, but I’m going to learn. I don’t want to be a self-fulfilling prophecy and ruin what we have out of my fear of losing you.”

Leslie toyed with the hair at the base of Ben’s neck. “You’re not gonna lose me.”

“You sure about that?” he half teased. “Don’t forget about the flashbacks, night terrors, and occasional outbursts of anger.”

He tried to play it off as a joke, but his attempt at a grin came off as more of a grimace. He wanted to be with her more than anything, but he couldn’t silence the small voice in the back of his mind--the voice telling him that he was too much for her. That one day she’d wake up and realize he wasn’t worth the trouble, wasn’t worth the heartache he will undoubtedly cause again and again.

The fingers at the back of his neck stilled as she moved to catch his downcast gaze. Her face was resolute, determined, unshaken. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m with you because of who you are and everything that comes with you, not just the easy and good things. I’m not only here for the great days, but also for the nights when you can’t fall asleep because of what you see in your dreams. I’m the person you can come to when the memories are too hard. We’re going to have to work on those anger issues, but that’s how it’s going to be--together.”

He couldn’t contain himself anymore and kissed her. He poured everything he could into the kiss, the apology she deserved but he couldn't put into words, how much she meant to him no matter what nonsense came out of his mouth. No one had ever cared about him like Leslie. Her friends, her job, her citizens, she loved them all with an intensity he had never seen before, and he couldn’t wrap his brain around the fact that now he had a special place on that list.

“I don’t deserve you,” he whispered against her lips.

“Don’t say that,” she replied. “You deserve every wonderful and amazing thing life has to offer. Please stop selling yourself short. I know you don’t believe me just yet, but it’s okay. I believe it enough for the both of us. Just trust me.”

“I do, you know I do.”

“And I trust your judgement implicitly. You have to know that. But me knowing you’re right and me having proof are two different things. If we want to find out who’s behind all of this, we need something to go on.”

“I know,” he sighed, pulling away from her slightly. “And I just don’t have it. There’s nothing. That video was my last chance, and I couldn’t find anything. Even if someone did tamper with it, there’s no evidence of it. I’m back where I started.”

Ever the optimist, Leslie suppressed her look of disappointment. “It’s okay. We’ll think of something, some new avenue we can look into, but until then, let’s just take a moment and relax. You’ve been working like crazy for days and deserve a break. Sit out here with me for a while.”

Ben couldn’t refuse her even if he wanted to, so he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his side, kissing the top of her head as she nuzzled his shoulder.

He had sat there with her once before and watched the sunrise, the pair now trading the colors of early morning for those of dusk.

“A bit of déjà vu, isn’t it?” she grinned up at him.

“I was just thinking the same thing.”

“Hmm. You know, it’s comforting, really. As crazy and unpredictable as life can be, there are still some things--beautiful things--that remain constant. The beauty of spring always comes after the destruction of winter, and no matter what, you can never be truly lost as long as the sun continues to rise in the east and set in the west.”

Ben froze. Leslie’s comment rattled around in his brain, a revelation scratching it’s way to the surface of his mind.

“Oh my God, that’s it. Leslie, you’re a genius!”

He swooped in and kissed her, several small, enthusiastic kisses peppered with triumphant laughs in between.

Before she could react, Ben grabbed her by the hand and pulled her inside.

“What? Ben, what’s happening,” she asked as he dragged her into the living room and sat her on the couch.

“I finally know what’s wrong with the video.” He took the remote and started playing one of the tapes. “Okay, so I looked at the footage from outside of Joe’s cell, and also any of the surrounding areas or hallways you’d have to pass through to get there. See, this right here? This is the east corridor that we’d have seen Brandt in if he was paying Joe a visit.”

“I don’t see anything out of the ordinary.”

“Right, nothing weird and no sign of Brandt even though this is all supposedly from around Joe’s estimated cause of death according to the timestamp.”

“Okay…”

“Keep this picture in mind as I go back to the same time the day before.” He rewinds the footage and pauses it. “See this pillar here. It’s right in front of the east facing window, obviously no shadow because it’s the late afternoon-”

“And the sun’s on the other side of the building, yeah.”

“Right.” He fast forwards back to the next day, and freezes at the exact same time. “What’s wrong with this picture.”

Leslie’s jaw dropped. “Oh my God, there’s a shadow. That means-”

“That means that this footage couldn’t possibly be from that time. Someone tampered with the tape. We have proof now.”

Ben couldn’t contain his smile. He was so happy, he turned around and scooped Leslie up from the couch and spun her around in his arms as he laughed.

Leslie shrieked in surprise when he lifted her, but soon joined in his joy. “I can’t believe you caught that,” she said once he put her down, her arms looped around his neck. “You are the sexiest man genius that has ever walked this planet.”

“I wouldn’t have even thought of it if it wasn’t for you.”

“I do try to stay useful,” she winked.

“God, you have no idea.” He kissed her soundly, forcing himself to pull away before things went too far.

He grinned at her subsequent pout, giving her another quick kiss on the nose. “I have to call Chris and let him know. This should allow us to officially reopen Joe’s case and hopefully get some more answers.”

“I’m so proud of you. I knew you would find something.”

She turned to leave to give him some privacy, but Ben caught her wrist. “Don’t go too far. As soon as I’m done talking with Chris, I’m gonna make you come so hard, you’ll forget your own name.”

He pretended not to see her shiver.

~~~~~

Ben had been riding the high from his surveillance tape discovery for the last few days, overjoyed that they were now able to treat these crimes like murder investigations rather than suicides. Thankfully, Joe’s cell had been sealed off since his death, preserving any evidence that could be found once the case was reopened.

Their smoking gun came in the form of a fresh set of fingerprints inside of the cell--fingerprints that belonged to none other than Andrew Brandt.

Unfortunately, that’s where the trail ran cold. There was no apparent connection between Joe and Brandt, nothing to indicate that they were working or being paid by the same people. Joe’s background was being investigated since the second he was arrested, but other than a hard drive filled with pornography and questionable investments, Joe’s computer and financials were a dead end.

They were still no closer to finding out who paid and killed Brandt, but Ben was optimistic. All it took was one more clue, one slip up from their opponent and they could tie everything together.

Ben honestly wasn’t sure why he was in such a good mood. Today had been another day of chasing shadows and false leads, but he just felt light. He caught himself whistling as stepped out of the shower, the tune following him as he dressed and walked down the hall to his bedroom.

He figured that the woman who was currently sitting in his bed surrounded by papers and binders was one of the main reasons for his mood as of late. No matter how immersed in his work he got, how angry and frustrated he was, she was there to pull him back out, to anchor him.

He crawled towards her on the bed, careful not to crush any of her things. As she continued to write, he nuzzled his nose into her neck, placing soft bites and kisses wherever his lips happened to land.

In the short amount of time since they started sleeping together, Ben made it his priority to learn her body--to learn how to reduce her to a quivering mass of want and need. He nipped at a particularly sensitive spot and the pen dropped from her hands.

“Ben,” she whined, “I’m trying to work.”

“I know,” came his muffled reply.

“I can’t concentrate when you’re doing that.”

“I know that too.”

She bit her lip and tossed her head back. She said his name again, attempting to sound firm and stern, but it came out as more of a breathy moan.

“I’m serious,” she said halfheartedly. “I really wanted to get this done before bed.”

“But it’s late,” he reasoned, shifting himself so he was half straddling her and her binders and began working on the other side of her neck. He knew it was hardly late by her standards, but he wanted her--needed her right now.

As he worked his lips across her neck and clavicle, he slowly closed the binder on her lap, moving it to the night table when she didn’t protest.

“You better move the rest of my things,” she told him. “You started this, and I’d rather not have sex on these government documents.”

He couldn’t move fast enough, piling the papers together and shoving them into another binder before carelessly tossing them on the table.

“Hey, careful with those. They are kind of important,” she chastised, but her mouth was soon covered by Ben’s.

He groaned when her hands migrated to their spot in his hair, tugging and pulling as their tongues greeted one another. His hands slipped beneath her pajama top--another one of Ben’s old shirts, and lightly scratched his nails down her ribcage. He was fully straddling her now, her thighs trapped between his knees as he continued to attack her lips.

She pushed him away, her lips swollen and hair wild, and tugged the shirt completely off, throwing it somewhere beside the bed. Before he had a chance to drink in the sight of her, she pulled him back roughly, tugging his lower lip between her teeth.

She took his hand and forced it to her breast, his fingers immediately squeezing the supple flesh. He could feel the vibration of her groan pulse through him, turning him on even more than he thought possible.

He loved when she took charge like that, knowing what she wanted and going for it without apology. He’ll admit, there were times when her lack of patience--in and out of bed--took a toll on his nerves, but tonight was not one of those moments.

He pulled away from her to slide himself further down the bed, taking Leslie with him so she was no longer propped up against the headboard, but flat on her back. He stared down at her, a feral look in his eyes, and threw himself back into the task of tasting every inch of her.

His lips ran over her stomach and chest, her hands in his hair guiding him wherever she desired his mouth the most. He was moving south towards the waist of her bottoms when the piercing sound of the telephone echoed through the cabin.

Leslie’s subsequent groan had nothing to do with the things he was doing to her.

But Ben didn’t stop. He continued to lave at her belly button and ignored the ringing of the phone.

“Ben, it’s probably important,” she tried to argue before arching against his tongue now circling her breast.

“I don’t care. If it’s that important, Chris’ll call back.”

There was a brief moment of silence before the phone started to ring again.

He sighed from his place at her belly, his head hung in defeat.

“I’ll go get it,” he said before placing a chaste kiss on her hip. “Don’t you dare move.”

“This better be fucking important,” he muttered to himself as he jogged down the hall.

“Major Wyatt,” he said gruffly as he answered the phone.

“Ben, Lieutenant Colonel Chris Traeger. I do apologize for calling at this late hour, but I have news that can’t wait.”

Ben knew immediately something was wrong. Chris’ usual cheerful and exuberant tone was absent, replaced by one so somber that it felt foreign coming from Chris.

He swallowed and braced himself. “Yes, what is it?”

“There’s been an explosion-”

“Oh God. Where? Were any of our people hurt?”

His thoughts immediately flashed to Andy, April, Donna, Ann, Ron, and Tom--even Jerry. He wasn’t sure when he started referring to them is “his people”, but he had, and they were.

“No, thankfully not. The accident wasn’t at the Capital City, it was in a small town near the Border.”

He breathed a sigh of relief, but it was shortlived. “Do we know anything about it yet? Any connection to our case?”

“We have yet to ascertain that. The explosion happened earlier his morning and--”

“Wait,” Ben cut in, “there was an explosion this morning and no one thought to tell me until now?!” He was livid.

“Please, Ben, try to understand,” Chris placated. “Our communications are limited, so I wanted to wait until we at least had something concrete to tell you. The explosion occurred at an abandoned warehouse in the Beachview Terrace district. At first, the general consensus was that is was nothing more than an accidental gas explosion, but the fire department found evidence of an explosive device.”

“And since that’s technically still our jurisdiction, they called you.”

“Exactly,” Chris answered. “The device itself looked homemade, and there was further evidence of extra materials at the sight. An official investigation has been opened, but so far it looks like they were killed by one of their own bombs. A malfunction most likely.”

Ben pinched the bridge of his nose. “Do you think they are connected to our case?”

“We have no way to know for sure just yet, but we can’t rule out that possibility. However, we do have reason to believe they are a part of some Eagleton extremist group.”

Ben’s spine straightened. “Why? What did you find? Chris, this could be the connection we’re looking for.”

He heard Chris sigh, and for some reason it unnerved him. “There were a total of five human bodies found inside the building and we immediately went about trying to identify them. Four of the victims have yet to be identified as we have nothing to go on other than DNA and dental records. The bodies themselves were charred beyond recognition.”

“But the fifth victim must be in our system then, right, If you got a hit so fast.”

“Yes, he is,” Chris said slowly. “He’s former military, Pawnee Army, dishonorable discharge.” He paused for a moment and Ben grew impatient.

“Damnit, Chris, can you just tell me who he is?”

“Ben, it was James Yurgin.”

~~~~~

It was amazing how the power of a name could literally bring Ben to his knees. He didn’t feel the phone slip out of his hand and clatter to the floor, couldn’t hear Chris call out his name through the receiver, didn’t notice his knees buckle or feel them slam into the hardwood floor.

His mind was running faster than it ever had before, and yet it might as well have been blank.

The ground vibrated as Leslie ran over to him on the floor. Her voice sounded a million miles away. He saw her pick up the phone and talk frantically to Chris, but it was all nothing. They were actions he saw but could put no meaning to.

He didn’t know when she had hung up the phone, but her face once again came into view, eyes brimmed with unshed tears as she ran her hands over his face.

To him, her lips moved needlessly. The sound waves vibrated against his ear drums, but his brain couldn’t decipher them. His eyes remained unfocused and his breathing quick and shallow. Soon, uncontrollable shivers overtook him.

The small corner of his mind recognized the signs of shock, but he was powerless to do anything. Powerless to speak and calm Leslie’s nerves, powerless to even acknowledge her at all.

At some point, his body moved on its own when Leslie’s strong yet gentle hands pulled him up from the floor. He walked to his room in a trance, not fully recalling how he ended up in his bed under a shroud of blankets.

He was situated on his side, his eyes unfocused and staring at the wall in front of him. Soon, he felt the familiar warmth of her, his blond-haired angel wrapping herself around his shivering form. He greedily drank in her body heat and pulled her closer--the first conscious move he was able to make since the phonecall.

Out of nowhere, his body felt exhausted, as if the mere effort to keep it alive was too much. His eyes grew heavy and he welcomed the escape of sleep.

Leslie’s kisses and words of comfort were wasted on his numb skin and deaf ears.

~~~~~

Smoke.

It was everywhere, blurring his vision and invading his lungs. He could barely see through the clouds of ash, each breath filling him with fire, but he pushed through it.

He made his way through the warehouse, coughing and spluttering. Beams were falling down all around him, but he ignored them. He tried to call out Leslie’s name, but it came out as nothing more than a croak. She was there, somewhere, and he had to save her.

He heard the faint sound her her voice, her screaming his name and calling for help. He followed it, stepping over debris and bodies that didn’t survive the blast.

The voice grew louder as he approached a fully intact wall and door, her voice beckoning him to the other side. He forced it open and stumbled, a piercing light blinding his eyes.

Gone was the abandoned and destroyed warehouse. In it’s place was the burning wreckage of ICE Town. He squinted across the camp, finally spotting the mass of blond hair collapsed on the ground.

Ben ran across the camp, suppressing the urge to vomit as he passed the dead bodies of his brothers and sisters. Their arms were outstretched, as if they were begging for his help even in death.

But he couldn’t help them, and he couldn’t stop to mourn them. He had to get to Leslie.

He could hear his blood pounding in his ears, an eternity passing until he got to her. Falling to his knees, he reached for her, her clothes covered in ash and blood.

He feared the worst until he found her pulse, weak but present. Her eyes slowly opened and she tried to speak when she saw him. Instead, she only coughed up blood.

“No, shh, don’t try to talk, baby,” he whispered. He attempted to keep his voice as steady as possible. He needed to be strong for her, but he was failing.

All he did was fail her.

There was a gaping wound in her stomach, and he took off his shirt and used it to compress the area. With his other hand, he briefly caressed her dirty cheek, his fingers smearing her own blood on her face.

“Help is coming, okay? You just have to hang in there for a little while longer.”

She grimaced as he increased the pressure on her wound.

“I know it hurts, sweetheart, but I have to stop the bleeding.”

Her normally bright blue eyes seemed colorless and hollow, and she was quickly losing the battle to remain conscious.

“No, no, look at me,” he called out to her as her eyelids drooped. “Stay with me a little while longer, okay?”

She tried to nod, but her body was too weak. His shirt was already soaked through with her blood.

It was then that he heard it--the laugh he hadn’t heard in twenty years. Looking up, he saw Yurgin walking towards him, not looking a day over eighteen. His face was perfectly youthful, not worn and aged by years of grief and trauma like Ben’s.

“Jimmy?” Ben gasped.

“Hey there, Ice Clown,” Yurgin smirked. “Are you such a fan of my work that you keep coming back for more?”

Ben seethed with a rage that he didn’t know was possible. He went to lunge himself at Yurgin, to wrap his hands around his throat and watch the life drain from his eyes, but he couldn’t move. An invisible force held him in place as he struggled to break free.

He let out a roar of anger and frustration. “You son of a bitch,” he screamed, but Yurgin just chuckled.

“Oh, Benji, haven’t you learned by now that you just can’t win? You weren’t good enough then, and you certainly aren’t now.” The man’s eyes flitted over to Leslie. “You couldn’t even keep your little girlfriend alive.”  
  
“She’s not dead,” Ben said through clenched teeth, his gaze trained on Yurgin and filled with an intense hatred.

James let out a bark of laughter. “Wow, you really are clueless, aren’t you? Look at her.”

Ben’s heart stopped as he looked into Leslie’s lifeless eyes.

“No. No, no, no, no,” he chanted as he scrambled to find a pulse. His hands were slippery from her blood, leaving a trail across her neck.

There was nothing.

He momentarily forgot the man who was taunting him, his throat constricting has the tears he could no longer hold in began to fall.

He pulled her limp body to him, clutching her as he sobbed into her hair and screamed her name.

~~~~~

His eyes flew open as he felt a sharp sting across his cheek.

His eyes tried to focus, but he still wasn't sure where he was. The camp had faded, and in its place was a bed and four walls.

His throat was raw from screaming in his sleep, and his face still stung where Leslie slapped him.

Leslie.

Ben sat up quickly and looked over to see her kneeling next to him on the bed. Her eyes were red and her cheeks wet.

“I’m sorry I slapped you but you were thrashing around and you just kept screaming and I couldn’t shake you out of it,” she babbled, obviously wracked with guilt.

His heart was racing and he just shook his head as he pulled her to him. His body was trembling again.

This was not the first time Leslie had to wake him up from a nightmare, but this had been so much worse than anything he had ever experienced before. She could usually pull him out of it by calling his name or shaking him, but he didn’t even want to think about bad he must have been if she felt the need to hit him.  
  
His eyes widened. “Oh God,” he croaked. “I didn’t hurt you did I?”

He felt her shake her head against his chest. “No, nothing like that. You were just in so deep and you kept,” she choked back a sob, “you kept screaming my name like you were in pain and I couldn’t stand it. And you were so out of it earlier after Chris called, I didn’t know what else to do.”

No matter how terrible his dreams were in the past, he never cried, not in front of her. But he knew tonight would be different. Ben squeezed her to him even tighter, trying to replace the images of the bleeding, lifeless Leslie from his dream with the living, breathing one in his arms. But he couldn’t. Every image in his mind’s eye was of her--dying because he had failed her.

Soon, all of his pent up anger, frustration, hurt, and guilt came bubbling up to the surface and he let out a cry that shocked even himself.

Leslie tucked his head into her chest as he sobbed, unending rivers of tears soaking her shirt. He cried for his youth, torn from him far too soon by the boy he considered his best friend. He cried for his career, the life he spent trying to prove his worth to a society that has yet to forgive him. He cried for the people that have died, that still might die, because of his failures.

Above all, he cried for the woman in his arms who deserved so much more than the hand fate had dealt her. She was supposed to be at home, leading their country, not stuck with him in the middle of nowhere fearing for her life.

He cried because out of all of the men she could possible have, she fell in love with him.

She peppered kisses across his face and rubbed his back. “Shh, it’s okay. It’s okay to cry sometimes.”

“Jimmy,” Ben choked out. “Jimmy--in my dream he-”

He couldn’t finish, not after the new wave of tears stole his voice from him.

“I know, but he’s gone now. Chris told me. He can’t hurt you anymore.”

He couldn’t find the strength to tell her that it wasn’t his own life he was worried about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on tumblr at benwyattforcongress.tumblr.com for more Parks related blogging and drabbles.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leslie does her best to deal with Ben and the aftermath of Chris’ phone call, and both have a hard time with work/life balance. Cameo by Li’L Sebastian.

When she was eight years old, Leslie awoke from one of the worst nightmares she ever had. She honestly didn’t even remember what it was about. All she knew is that she woke up screaming, crying out so loudly that within minutes, her father was in her room gathering her into his arms. As she sobbed into his chest, she could feel the kisses he peppered into her hair, hear the soft, soothing whispers meant to calm her racing heart.

She felt loved. She felt protected. She felt that as long as her father was there, no monster from her nightmares could ever touch her.

Now, as she held a sobbing Ben to her own chest, she wanted nothing more than impart that same feeling to him. She was going to protect him, even if it was from the things that only existed in his dreams.

Leslie did her best to quell her own fear, tried to steady the shaking hand that ran through Ben’s hair. He didn’t need the added guilt of knowing how much this ordeal had affected her too.

From her bed, she had heard the phone clatter on the ground followed by the loud thump as Ben’s knees hit the wood floor. She called out to him and frantically put her shirt back on when he didn’t respond.

She wasn’t sure what she was expecting, but running out and seeing an almost catatonic Ben was nowhere on her list. She yelled his name, ran her hands over his face and chest, but he stared past her like she didn’t exist.

She picked up the abandoned phone and prayed that Chris was still on the line. She demanded answers, frantic as she tried to understand what was happening. The weight on her chest became even heavier as Chris told her about the explosion--about the one person that connected it to Ben.

Just hearing the name made her tremble, and the fact that he might somehow be involved in the plot against her made her sick to her stomach. She hung up the phone and shifted her attentions back to Ben.

He hadn’t moved the entire time she had talked with Chris. His eyes were still vacant and his ears unhearing. She somehow managed to get him up and walking towards the bed, into which he promptly collapsed.

She grabbed every blanket she could find and piled them on top of his quaking body before crawling in next to him. His skin felt flushed and clammy despite the shivers, but she only held him tighter.

She wasn’t sure exactly when he had fallen asleep, but his tense body managed to relax if only for a few moments. Her own body longed to join him in rest, but her mind wouldn’t allow it, not after what just happened.

Barely a half hour had passed before she felt him stirring again, a telltale sign that a nightmare was coming on. Normally when this happens, she can coax him out of it with a small shake or call of his name.

But tonight it didn’t work. His subconscious kept a tight grip on him, and he soon began thrashing about on the bed. His whimpers soon turned to screams, and Leslie quickly moved away from him. She continued to call out his name and shake him, but that only made his screams louder.

When those tortured screams took on the form of her name, she lost it. Deep down, a part of her was afraid that he’d lash out or hurt himself in his sleep, so she did the only thing her terrified brain could think of and slapped him across the cheek.

Looking down on him now, she noticed that his tears had stopped, and he was once again lulled to sleep. She gently ran her thumb over where she had hit him, a small bruise already starting to show. She leaned down to kiss it, careful not to jostle Ben from his rest.

Now that he was finally at peace, she allowed her own emotions to come bubbling to the surface. The fear she felt when she found Ben on the ground, the crushing guilt that his nightmares now revolved around her, it all overwhelmed her.

She eventually closed her eyes and dreamed. She dreamed of a different life, a simpler life where the fate of a country didn’t rest on her shoulders, where she didn’t walk around feeling like she had a target painted onto her back. She dreamed that there was no ICE Town, that Ben was not bound by a traumatic past and could embrace all that life had to offer. In that dream world, all they needed was each other, and they embraced it without reservation.

She dreamed of a life that could never be.

~~~~~

Leslie awoke to the feeling of being watched, a feeling she had become accustomed to over the course of her life. She opened her eyes and found Ben’s looking back at her, finally their usual warm brown as opposed to nearly black and vacant.

He was slowly running his hands through her hair, pushing away the errant strands that always fell in front of her face. It almost felt like any other morning, and for the briefest of moments, she had forgotten about the chaos that was the night before. But when she saw the growing bruise on his cheek, it all came rushing back.

With the back of her hand, she gently brushed his face and grimaced at his wince.  
  
“I’m so sorry,” she whispered.

He brought his hand up to cover hers on his cheek. “Don’t apologize. I’d rather this than wake up and find out that I’ve hurt you.”

“I told you that you didn’t-” she tried to argue, but he interrupted her.

“No, but I could have. If you hadn’t woken me up, I could have done this to you, or worse. If that happened-” He pressed his forehead to hers and released a deep breath. “I’d never forgive myself if I hurt you.”

“You’d never hurt me on purpose.”

“Doesn’t matter,” he shook his head. He pulled away slightly and cupped her face so she looked him straight in the eye. “Listen to me. If that ever happens again and you can’t get me out of it, leave the bed. Please, I’d rather suffer through a nightmare than do anything that could hurt you.”

No, this wasn’t right. He needed her, needed her to free him from the confines of his mind. Today had been a fluke, a trauma brought on by something neither one of them could have prepared for.

“Ben, I-”

“Promise me.”

His voice was still raspy and weak, but there was a power behind it. It was forceful yet pleading, and she had no choice but to agree.

“I promise.”

She could almost see the weight being lifted off of his shoulders, and it broke her heart. After everything that he had gone through in the last few hours, he was still concerned about her above everything else.

“What about you?” she asked. “How are you holding up?”

She honestly had no idea how to broach the subject other than be direct. How else does one ask about your boyfriend’s mental state after going into shock when he heard about the death of the man who was his best friend but tried to kill him? The death of the man who succeeded in killing almost everyone he cared about. The man who turned Ben’s life upside down, leaving him permanently scarred both physically and mentally. The man who died from a bomb that was most likely going to be used in a plot to kill you.

She had no precedent for this, no ‘training’ she had undergone. She was going on pure instinct, her instinct to care for the man that she loved.

He didn’t answer her immediately, something that didn’t shock her. She barely knew how she was feeling. She didn’t expect Ben to be able to fully verbalize everything that was running through his mind.

“It’s weird,” he finally said. “I expected to feel something a lot different if this day ever came. I honestly never thought I’d hear about him again, but I always thought that if he died, I’d have a sense of closure. I’d feel angry or sad or happy that he got what he deserved. I’d feel like justice was finally served, you know? But when Chris told me what happened, I didn’t feel any of that. I was just...numb. I can’t explain it either. I don’t know why I reacted that way. It just brought everything back to the forefront of my mind, and I couldn’t deal with it.”

He ran a finger down her neck. “I’m sorry if I scared you. I just couldn’t help or control myself. I could see you.” His finger moved to trace the path of dried tears. “I saw you crying, saw that you were pleading with me to get up, but I couldn’t. I wanted to more than anything, but I didn’t even feel like I was in control of my own body. And knowing that he might have been involved it what’s happening to you, it just sent me over the edge.”

“And your dream? You were screaming my name.”

But he wasn’t ready to answer that. He closed his eyes and shook his head, as if the mere memory of it was too painful. He burrowed his face into the side of Leslie’s neck, and his breath tickled the sensitive skin there.

She just continued to play with the hairs at his nape. She wasn’t going to push him--no matter how much she wanted to. She needed to know what he dreamed of her, what would cause him to scream her name in a way she never wanted to hear from anyone again.

But she had to wait.

Leslie pressed a kiss to his forehead. “It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me now.”

He nodded slowly and released a sigh.

“You think you’re up for getting out of bed?” she asked. “Maybe have some breakfast?”

He shook his head and pulled her closer. “Not yet. Can we lay here for a little while longer. I just...I need to hold you right now.”

“Of course. We can stay here as long as you want.”

“Don’t say that,” he laughed softly. “If it was up to me, I’d stay here with you forever.”

Right now, that didn’t sound so bad.

~~~~~

Eventually, hunger and thirst drove them from the bed. Leslie was able to convince Ben to take a nice, hot shower while she made them breakfast, sorely tempted to take him up on the offer to join him.

Leslie stared at the eggs and sausage as they cooked on the stove while she tried to think about what was going to happen moving forward. Up until that point, she had purposely not thought about anything other than what was happening at that moment. She kept her focus on Ben and couldn’t afford to think about anything else.

But the harsh reality was that they did need to have some sort of plan. This whole ordeal might have thrown a new wrench into their investigation, more and more pieces being thrown into a puzzle that was already so complex to begin with.

She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t hear Ben come up behind her, and she jumped slightly as he wrapped his arms around her.

“It’s okay, it’s just me,” he said as he rested his chin on her shoulder.

She leaned into his embrace, tiny water droplets from his damp hair splashing against her skin. He had put on a soft, cotton t-shirt, one of the ones she loved stealing to sleep in.

“Sorry, you just caught me by surprise.”

“Yeah, you’re pretty focused on those eggs,” he teased.

“No, I was just thinking about what’s going to happen now with the investigation.”

Ben nodded slowly. “I have to check back in with Chris and see what they’ve found so far.”

Leslie turned and frowned. “Are you sure you’re okay to do that yet? I’m sure Chris has some people that can handle-”

“No,” he cut her off. “I know you’re trying to be helpful and I appreciate that, but I need to do this. If Yurgin was involved in this somehow, I need to know. I need to be a part of this.”

She tugged on Ben’s wrist and laced their fingers together. “I know you do. I’m just worried.”

“It’s my job-”

“I don’t give a damn about if it’s your job,” she snapped. “I care about you and whether or not this is going to push you over the edge again.”

She pulled away from him and put her face in her hands. “I can’t take this anymore. Too many things have happened to you since you started working for me.”

“What are you saying? Are you thinking of taking me off of this case?”

She looked up and crossed her arms. “I don’t know. I might if I feel that I have to.”

“You can’t do that.”

“You know better than to tell me what to do, Ben Wyatt,” she scoffed.

“And you know better than to let your feelings cloud your judgement. I know Jimmy. I know his group and that mindset. I can get in their heads better than anyone.”

“Well, what do you expect me to do, Ben? I care about you and it’s killing me to see what this is doing to you.”

“I’d resent you forever if you go through with it.”

“You’re going to end up resenting me anyway because it’s all my fault!”

She tried so hard to keep her feelings locked away, but she just couldn’t anymore. Between what happened last night and this morning, the tears that had been welling up inside of her finally broke free and rolled down her cheeks. She tried to hide her face, but that became pointless once the sobs took over.

Ben stepped forward and she halfheartedly resisted his attempts at pulling her to him. But he was persistent, and she finally gave in, letting out all the pent up emotion onto Ben’s shirt.

“I’m so sorry,” she cried. “This is all my fault and I’m so sorry.”

“Shh,” he whispered. “None of this is your fault.”

“Yes it is. If it wasn’t for me you would have never gotten involved in this and never had your past thrown back in your face and wouldn’t have gotten shot. We wouldn’t both be stuck out here and you wouldn’t be screaming my name in your nightmares.”

“Leslie, none of that is true. I know you hate it when I say this, but it is my job. I would have gotten involved sooner or later, and it had nothing to do with you. You aren’t responsible for ICE Town, and you aren’t responsible for what’s happened with this either. The only people at fault here are the ones trying to kill you.”

He pulled her face away from his chest and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I could never blame or resent you, not for this. Believe me, I understand guilt more than anyone, but pulling me off of this investigation isn’t going to solve anything. I can do this. It’ll be hard, but I can. And believe me, for every shitty thing that’s happened in my life, it ultimately led me here to you. I can’t be more grateful.

She screwed her eyes shut and frowned. “Please, don’t say that.”

“It’s true.” He wiped at her tears with his thumb. “I’m on this path in my life because of that moment, and a million different things could have been different, but for some crazy, fucked up reason, I have you. I would trade anything to prevent ICE Town from happening and bring my squad back, but I can’t. But what I can do is find justice for them. These people that killed my friends, they’re out there somewhere, and now they’re after you. I need to bring them to justice. For my brothers and sisters and for you.”

He pulled her into a tight hug, and she could feel his trembling arms vibrating against her back.

“I won’t let them,” he whispered into her hair. “I won’t let them take away someone else that I love.”

Leslie wrapped her arms even stronger around his back, almost like she was trying to pull him inside of her.

He loved her. He said it, in his own way. Despite her already knowing this, hearing him admit to it outloud still shocked her speechless.

But now she knew, she finally understood why he had to do this. This wasn’t out of revenge or fear or hatred. He wasn’t trying to preserve his name or be the hero.

He was doing this out of love, not only for her, but for the men and women he lost so long ago.

If possible, this scared her even more. She knew the risks that people were willing to take for those they loved, and it honestly terrified her the lengths that he’d go.

But she also knew that she couldn’t tell him no.

“They won’t,” she murmured into his chest. “They’ll never be able to take me away from you.”

She ran her hand up past his shoulder and neck, curling her fingers around the hairs at his nape before pulling his lips to her own.

He eagerly returned the kiss until Leslie pulled away sharply when she smelled something burning.

“Oh God, the eggs.” She turned around and pulled the skillet off of the burner. “Shit, I ruined breakfast.”

The last thing she expected to hear was Ben chuckling behind her. His quiet giggles soon turning into full-fledged laughter.

“It’s not funny,” she said weakly, but his laughter was contagious, and she soon found herself smiling along with him.

It felt good to laugh again, even if it was at something so insignificant and stupid.

She tried to stifle her laughs. “Okay, okay.” She shooed him out of the kitchen. “Go call Chris while I try this again without you distracting me.”

He kissed her through their smiles, a somewhat awkward clashing of lips and teeth that neither seemed to mind.

“Thank you,” he said as he made his way out.

“Go do your job, soldier,” she smirked.

His body became ramrod straight as he stood at attention and saluted her. “Yes, ma’am, Madam President, ma’am.”

She threw a dish towel at his face, Ben continuing to laugh as he turned around and walked towards the phone.

With Ben’s muffled voice in the background, Leslie walked to the fridge and grabbed more eggs.

~~~~~

One thing that Leslie had learned throughout her life surrounded by politics was that just because you did the right thing, it didn’t mean that you had to like it.

She knew that Ben continuing on the investigation was the best course of action. He was the resident expert on border conflicts and Eagleton extremist groups. Hell, that’s why he was originally assigned this case months ago.

And this, this was what he had been after since he started with Intelligence.

It made the most logical sense.

But logic meant nothing to her when she saw the permanent bags under Ben’s eyes. It meant nothing when he’d crawl into bed with her in the middle of the night long after she fell asleep, and he was still up before her.

And those were on the days he even bother coming to bed. She’s come out more than a few times and found him asleep over the files on the table.

She hadn’t realized how quickly she had grown accustomed to having him in her bed. Night’s without him felt so much colder and lonelier.

Fuck logic. He was emotionally and physically drained, more so than she had ever seen him, and while she wouldn’t pull him off of the assignment, she can damn well help him relax.

She walked into the dining room which had become Ben’s makeshift office and took in the sight of him. His hair was wild and unbrushed, his face coarse from days of not shaving, and the bags under his eyes were still ever present.

She stood beside him and rested her hip against the armrest of his chair.

“Hey, how’s it going?” she asked while trying to tame his hair with her fingers.

Without looking up from his work, he wrapped his free arm around her waist and pulled her closer. “Uh, it’s actually going pretty well. A lot of the forensics from the bomb site came back. Again, the explosion destroyed a lot of potential evidence, but they were able to recover some fragments of documents that link them directly with your case. We had suspected as much, but it’s definitely good to know for sure.”

He pulled out some images of charred papers. “This one here looks like a rough draft of the third threat note. And this one is a map of the layout of your parents’ Park and the surrounding buildings. They most likely used the building as a safe house and did a lot of their planning there before actually carrying things out.”

“Okay, that’s good. Based on everything, though, their group had to be much larger than the few bodies that were found inside. Obviously not everyone was present when the bomb went off, so maybe there’s a chance that other members are going to try and go back there no knowing what happened.”

“That’s what we thought, too. Since the bombing, officers have been patrolling the area and keeping an eye out for anyone that looks like they’re trying to go back there. The entire area was basically abandoned until then, so anyone sniffing around there should raise some red flags.”

“I’m assuming no one’s gone back?”

Ben shook his head. “Nope. Either they somehow got word about what happened and were told to stay away, or…”

“Or what?”

He looked up at her for the first time since she entered the room. “Or this wasn’t an accident and they knew not to come back.”

Leslie’s eyes grew wide. “You don’t think this was an accident? I don’t know why I’m surprised. You hardly ever think anything with these people is an accident.”

“I know I say this about just about everything, but I have to think that this was all pre-planned. We can’t rule it out, at least. Whoever is pulling all of the strings is smart and ruthless. He used Joe as a delivery boy then had him killed by Brandt, who was then also killed. The sniper who shot at you did so knowing he wouldn’t make it out of there alive. This guy is not opposed to killing his own people.

“If he felt that site was compromising their objective, he would have had no problem getting rid of it. Maybe he wanted to kill Jimmy and the other members because they were a liability to him. Jimmy’s no stranger around an explosive device. I can’t see a bomb as rudimentary as this malfunctioning under his watch.”

“So, it was either planted there or purposely sabotaged?”

“Yeah, but it’s too soon to tell,” he shrugged. “We have our best forensics people sifting through the wreckage trying to piece together more documents and anything else that could be useful.”

“And I’m assuming no ID on the other bodies either, right?”

“Nothing.”

Leslie sighed. “Of course not. That’d be too much to hope for.”

Ben slipped his finger beneath the waist of Leslie’s pants and rubbed little circles on her hipbone. “I’m sorry, babe.”

She bent over and pressed a kiss to his hair. “It’s not your fault. I know all of you are doing the best that you can and working hard.” She paused, bringing her finger to his chin and angling his face towards hers. “Too hard, if you ask me.”

“Someone once told me when I said something similar to her that, and I quote, ‘There is no such thing as working too hard’.”

“That was for me, so it’s different,” she teased. “Besides, I was sleeping alone then by choice. Now, you being overworked is depriving me of some serious naked cuddle time.”

He closed his eyes and smiled wistfully. “Mmm, naked cuddle time. I miss that.”

“Well, you have no one to blame but yourself, buddy.” She pouted playfully. “Sometimes I sleep naked and wait for you to come, but you never do.”

Ben let out a painful groan. “You’re killing me, here.”

“Not my fault,” she smirked. “I just guess these files are more interesting than a naked girlfriend.”

His face grew serious and he pulled her onto his lap. “Hey, I know you’re half-joking, but please don’t forget why I’m doing this. Believe me, I hate not being able to spend as much time with you as before, but-”

“I know, I know, and you’re right. I know how we both get when we’re obsessed with something.” She rested her head against his. “This is just so hard for you and it hurts me to see you hurting.”

“Of all people, I know you probably understand this driving need to see this through the most. Trust me, nothing is more interesting or important than you--especially naked.”

Leslie couldn’t help but chuckle, pulling away to look at him. “I still think you’re overworking yourself, which is why I’m here.” She hopped off of his lap and extended her hand towards him. “Come on, Major. You’re taking a break.”

“Leslie, I really shouldn’t-”

“No arguments. You’ve made a lot of progress so far, and you can at least take the rest of the night off. I have a surprise for you in my bedroom.”

His eyes grew wide and he took her hand tentatively. “Honey, I really want to, but I don’t know if I have the energy-”

She grinned as she threw her weight and pulled him up. “I didn’t mean that. Although, I won’t object if you manage to get a second wind, but no, that’s not what I have planned.”

She dragged him down the hall and into her room. The lights were off, two candles lit on her nightstand.

“Okay, now strip.”

“Uhm, how is this not what I thought before?” he said as he slowly began unbuttoning his shirt.

“It isn’t. Remember when I was working on that U.N. presentation and I hadn’t slept for like three days?”

“Oh yeah, those were some dark days.”

“Right, and even though we had barely become friends at that point, you kidnapped me from my office and forced me to watch movies and eat junk food.”

“I got you that L-shaped eclair.”

“Yes, you did, and I almost jumped you because of it. But anyway, my point is that you got me to relax, and even though I resented it at first, I was glad to take my mind off of everything. I’m returning the favor, girlfriend style.” She reached over and grabbed a bottle of oil from the dresser. “So, hurry up and take those clothes off, because I’m going to give you a nice, soothing massage.”

That got Ben’s interest, and his fingers worked faster. “That sounds pretty damn amazing. My back has been killing me.”

“That’s what happens when you don’t sleep in a proper bed for days on end.”

When he was stripped down to his boxers, he laid down on Leslie’s bed on his stomach with his arms pillowing his head.

“Okay,” Leslie started as she straddled his legs. “You just relax and let me know if you like or dislike anything. If you’re good, this might have a happy ending.”

Ben’s chuckle was muffled, but she felt the vibrations throughout his body.

She poured some of the oil into her palms and rubbed them together to warm it up before starting to massage his shoulders.

He was beyond tense, and the built up scar tissue that riddled his back made it difficult, but her fingers dug into the knotted muscles, and she felt them loosen beneath her touch.

She hit a particularly sore spot, and Ben let out a delicious groan that shot straight through to her core. She was no stranger to the contended noises he was making, and her body was reacting against her will.

“This feel okay?”

“Better than okay.” His voice was still muffled and his words sounded slurred with fatigue. “Baby, your fingers are even more magical than I thought. And I thought they were pretty damn fantastic to begin with.”

“I’m a woman of many talents.”

“I’ll say. Those fingers sign laws and treaties and can also give one hell of a backrub. Is there anything they can’t do?”

“Well, they can’t make good soup or do a handstand in a pool. But that’s pretty much it.”

“Thank them for me. My back is still in shock. It’s not used to being treated so well outside of physical therapy.”

She knew he meant it innocently enough, but that statement struck her. When they first became friends, she often forgot how unaccustomed he was to small gestures of kindness or affection. Even now that they were dating, he still seemed surprised by the little things she enjoyed doing to show him how much she cared.

It was unfathomable to her that someone who cared and loved so deeply like Ben had experienced so little in return.

Every so often, Leslie traced the lines of his scars with her lips as well as her fingers. She was telling him that he was beautiful, that he deserved to be pampered at any opportunity.

He was worth so much more than he knew.

She scooted down his legs so she could focus on his lower back, paying extra special attention to the firm muscles of his ass. She slowly and sensuously cupped each cheek with her palms before kneading.

“Mmm, I have a feeling that is more for your benefit than mine,” Ben mumbled with amusement.

“It might be, but we’re both enjoying it, so I don’t see a problem,” she answered while taking another nice squeeze.

“Definitely no problem at all.”

The massage continued until she noticed his steady, gentle breathing.

While she wouldn’t have been opposed to some naked cuddling, her ultimate goal was to get Ben to catch up some much needed rest, and in that respect, she succeeded.

She pressed a gentle kiss at the base of his neck before going to the bathroom to wash the excess oil from her hands.

She came back to find that he hadn’t moved, still fast asleep.

Grabbing an extra blanket, she curled up beside him and draped the fabric over them before snuggling next to him. Even in his sleep he was aware of her presence, shifting onto his side so he could wrap his arm around her.

She welcomed his embrace and pressed a kiss to his bare chest just above his heart.

“I love you,” she whispered into his skin.

She closed her eyes before she could see Ben’s smile.

~~~~~

Ben’s relaxation time was short lived, but he at least made an effort to come to bed at a reasonable hour.

Thankfully, Andy was able to bring her more work to help quell her growing cabin fever, but along with that came news of a whole new set of problems.

It was hard trying to run a country from the middle of nowhere. Ron was technically acting as her proxy, but she had to still keep a close watch on things or else he’d do something stupid like get rid of the military or remove all traffic lights.

The biggest problem, however, was the mere fact that she had been gone for so long. She left the Capital after the shooting in such a hurry that the country was left in a state of shock it still hadn’t quite recovered from.

Pawneans weren’t known for being the most patient or understanding of people. They were notoriously prone to spells of widespread panic, panic that the media did nothing but stoke.

The more unscrupulous “news” sources were saying that she and Ben had died and that there was a huge conspiracy to cover the truth. Another claimed that the whole thing was staged, from the threats to the shooting. It was all an elaborate political scheme put together by the president and her lover to boost approval ratings and gain sympathy.

But the bottom line was this: her people were terrified. They had every right to be, to be honest. They witnessed their leader get shot at--not by a single madman, but by a highly trained military officer who was a member of an even larger terrorist organization.

The biggest worry was that they still had no idea what their ultimate objective was. Kill Leslie, but then what? How much death and destruction were they willing to cause? Did their next big plot involve a large scale terrorist attack?

The bomb fragments that were found in the safehouse wreckage certainly suggested as much. Too many lives had already been lost and they were no closer to uncovering the truth. Pawnee had every right to be afraid, and her absence only made things worse.

There were mass protests being held across the country, some in her favor and others calling for her resignation. The unrest was far greater than she had ever seen, and she could do nothing but watch from the sidelines, being fed bits of information here and there by Andy and Chris.

She couldn’t go back now, no matter how much she wanted to. They still had no idea how high up this conspiracy went, how many Eagleton plants could be walking the halls of the Capitol.

Maybe this was their plan all along, to create such a state of civil unrest that the country just collapsed on itself. Killing Leslie would just be the final nail in the coffin, the real damage being done long before the pull of the trigger.

Leslie put her head in her hands and tried to calm the overwhelming wave of anxiety. Nothing short of uncovering the group’s plan would solve this, and that seemed more and more unlikely as the days progressed.

She had faith in Ben and everyone investigating the case, but that didn’t change facts. Whoever’s controlling everything is nothing short of a genius, and has been steps ahead of them from the very beginning.

She hated it, but there was absolutely nothing she could do. For the most powerful person in the country, she truly felt powerless.

Ben walked slowly into the room and she peered at him from between her fingers.

“Hey,” he said softly. “I guess your update with Andy didn’t go so well?”

She shook her head as Ben took a seat next to her. “No. Things are getting worse. They don’t know where I am or what’s happened to me and they’re scared. Well, some are scared, others want me to stay right where I am and never come back.”

Ben reached out and grabbed her hand, and she held onto it with everything she had.

“Riots are starting to happen all over the country,” she continued. “And there have been far too many reports of Eagletonian immigrants being victimized or their homes and businesses vandalized. And there’s not a damn thing I can do about it, either. I’m a spectator watching from miles away as my country either destroys itself or gets destroyed by a group of radicals.”

“Neither of those things will happen, Leslie.”

“They already are. We’re stuck here twiddling our thumbs and grasping at straws and useless clues while everything I’ve worked for--everything my father worked for-- goes up in flames. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, Ben. I was supposed to lead us into a golden age of prosperity and rise as a world power. I was going to go down in history books as the greatest leader that Pawnee had ever seen. But now, no matter what I do or what happens, this will be how I’m remembered. It doesn’t matter what the facts are. I’ll be known as the leader that hid from everything like a coward.”

He didn’t answer her because they both knew she was right. Their country had become a ticking time bomb just waiting to explode.

“Tom’s been doing a lot to try to handle things,” Leslie continued. “He said that a few of our allies are willing to back us up with military support should it come to that.”

“That’s good, right?”

“I guess,” Leslie shrugged. “But it’s not like we’ll know in advance if or when we’d need it. I just hope it never comes to that. I mean, I’m at a loss at this point, too. We barely know who these people are. No one has been able to track them down in twenty years. We can’t just roll some troops into Eagleton and demand they give us information about a group that they may or may not be affiliated with.”

Ben nodded thoughtfully. “Well, we’re currently trying to see if we can work with the U.N. and pressure the Eagletonian government into giving us the information we need. They claim they don’t trust us having any kind of access to their records for national security reasons, so maybe having some kind of third party mediator will help.”

“Like Eagleton would ever agree to that,” Leslie snorted.

“They might. If not, we use more forceful tactics. Threaten when asking politely doesn’t work anymore.”

Leslie threw her hands in the air. “Great! Now I can add “warmonger” to my list of accomplishments. I hate Eagleton and everything they stand for, but how are we any better if we do this?”

“Leslie, whether their government knows who’s behind this or not, they are withholding vital information that can help us solve this case. They are purposely hindering the investigation of an assassination attempt.”

“I don’t want to go to war.”

“Neither do I, but this is how wars start. I know you hate it, but threatening them with war to get what we need to save your life is better than having to actually start one. The U.N. is on your side on this. We just need your okay to officially present everything and have them vote.”

She sighed. “Fine, but no threats of violence just yet. This will only be to petition the United Nations to make the recommendation that Eagleton supply us with the information that we need. If they don’t comply, then we’ll talk about what to do next.”

“Fair enough, but Leslie, you need to be prepared for the possibility that they won’t agree so easily. Our countries have hated one another for hundreds of years. A “recommendation” by the U.N. might not be enough.”

He spoke slowly, almost as if he was explaining this to a child instead of a grown woman who had spent most of her life immersed in politics.

“I know that, Ben. I’m not a naive idiot,” she snapped.

He reached forward and once again held onto her hands. “I know that. I know you know what you’re doing. I’m not suggesting any different. But I also know you, and I know that sometimes you have trouble making the tough decisions. No one wants a conflict with Eagleton, certainly not me. I’ve barely gotten a taste of what war is like, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. But if we find out that they are somehow involved and knowingly harboring terrorists hellbent on killing you and destroying everything that Pawnee stands for, you can be damn sure that I’ll be on the front lines. As far as I know, they declared war on us the second that sniper fired at you.”

She stared at their joined hands and bit her lip in thought. “No matter what, it will be my final option.”

“That’s reasonable.” He moved a hand under her chin and raised her face. “Let’s just hope Ron doesn’t dismantle the Pawnee military before then, right?” he said with a crooked smile. “Then we’ll be shit out of luck and I’d be unemployed.”

She gave a weak quirk of her lips. “Can’t have that. What will everyone think if I have a deadbeat for a boyfriend?”

“That you weren’t attracted to me because of my job, but something much more important--my devastatingly good looks.”

“Damn right.”

The two sat in a much more comfortable silence, Ben’s thumb tracing intricate patterns on the inside of her wrists as his smile slowly faded.

“We ok?” he asked.

“Yeah,” she nodded. “This is just...a lot to deal with all at once. Just when I think things can’t get any worse, they do.”

“I know the feeling.”

She looked at him and cocked her head to the side, studying him. “You do, don’t you.” It wasn’t a question. He knew probably better than anyone. “How do you handle it?”

“Well, I wasn’t so good at it for a while, but then I just eventually learned to focus on other things, focus on solving the problem. It helped a little, but in the process it hardened me and made me impossible to deal with. Then someone very special showed me that the beautiful thing was that I didn’t have to handle it all on my own.”

He leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. “So, I’m going to tell her the same thing, that there are people around her who love her and are doing everything they can to help.”

Standing up, Ben extended his hand towards her, mimicking her actions from only a few days prior.

“What, is it my turn for a massage?”

“Something like that,” Ben shrugged. “It does involve a bed, you stripping naked, and possibly some oil.”

Leslie took his hand with a raised eyebrow and he led her to his bedroom.

It was so much better than a massage.

~~~~~

Wrapped in Ben’s arms beneath the thin, cotton sheet, Leslie watched as the moonlight trickled in from the window.The moon was bright and full, far too beautiful to be shining down on an earth that sometimes seemed so undeserving.

She never thought she’d see a circumstance that tested her like this one had. To question the inherent goodness in her fellow man was something that never happened. She wasn’t like Ben, whose suspicious and distrusting nature turned her off to him almost immediately. She grew to appreciate that about him but never fully understood it.

Until now, that is.

“You’re thinking bad and depressing thoughts,” the chest beneath her ear rumbled.

“How can you tell?”

“I just can.”

She waited for him to ask what was wrong or at least try to talk to her about it, but he didn’t.

“What’s your favorite childhood memory?” he asked instead and it took her by surprise.

“What?”

“You know, when you were a kid, what’s the greatest thing you remember happening to you?”

Leslie smiled, not even having to think. “That’s easy. The day my mom and dad got me Li’l Sebastian.”

“The pony?”

She raised her head from his chest to look him square in the eye. “He wasn’t a pony, Ben, he was a mini horse. Completely different. And he was a national treasure.”

Ben gave her a wry smile and nodded. “I remember that. He was everywhere. Wasn’t there a petition to have him be the on the face of some money or something.”

“Yes,” Leslie huffed, “and it would have happened too if there wasn’t already some stupid law about only dead leaders being allowed on any Pawnee currency.”

“Pity.” He didn’t sound all that convincing. “Anyway, tell me more about it. I honestly never fully understood the obsession with him.”

She gave him a stern look. “You realize that statement was close to treason.”

“I do, I do,” he said quickly. “Which is why I want you to tell me about him. About that day and your experiences with him. Maybe you’ll finally be able to open my eyes.”

She felt his arms squeeze her tighter as she took a deep breath and thought back to that day.

“It was my 10th birthday and my parents got him for me as a gift. We had horses, but this was the first one that was exclusively mine. I had no idea horses that small even existed, but when I saw him, I knew he was going to be one of the greatest things that had ever happened to me.

“Something that amazing and adorable couldn’t stay a secret for long, and before I knew it, he was a national sensation. He was practically the country mascot, going on tours both in and out of Pawnee. He was more well liked than any politician could ever dream of being. I was sometimes starstruck by him, and he was my horse.”

She sniffled and pressed her face into Ben’s side. “When he died, it was probably one of the worst days of my life. The whole nation was in mourning. I think that’s the only time I’ve ever seen Ron cry. He had been so special to me for twenty five years, and I still wasn’t ready to let him go just yet.”

Ben pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I remember seeing the Memorial Service on television. I didn’t expect so many people to have gone in person.”

She nodded. “Thousands came from all across Pawnee. Some even from outside of the country. I try to visit his memorial statue whenever I can.”

“You know why I think he was so special?”

“Because he was a perfect mini horse?”

“Yeah, that,” he chuckled, “but there’s more. He was a symbol that united a nation. To you, he was your beloved pet, but to thousands upon thousands, he was an icon. Everybody saw him as something they could get behind and support. I might not have “gotten” it at the time, but his memorial service was amazing. I never would have guessed so many people cared, that so many people mourned him because of who he was and what he meant to them.

“In your eulogy, you said that he saw the good in everyone and everything. I think that’s what made him so special. Why he had the impact that he did. People believed that, and maybe that made them see the good in themselves too.”

“How do you do it?” Leslie asked after a brief pause. “How do you always seem to know what I’m thinking and then say exactly what I need to hear.”

He reached over and swept some invisible hairs away from her face. “I get into peoples’ heads. It’s what I’m good at. Plus, I know you. I know you’re beating yourself up and getting frustrated and losing your faith in humanity. I don’t want that to happen to you. I hate that it happened to me, and I am slowly learning to gain that trust back. Take it from someone who has been on the other side. It’s not fun assuming the worst of people. That’s what drew me to you. You were so different from me.

“At first, I thought you were just naive, but you aren’t. You don’t always see people and circumstances as they are, but what they have the potential to be, and that’s what makes you a good leader. That’s what you and Li’l Sebastian have in common, and just like with him, when push comes to shove, your people will rally behind you.”

More than anything else, she wanted him to be right, wanted to believe what he said was true. She didn’t feel like the same person that said those words at the funeral and wasn’t sure if she’d ever be again. That thought terrified her instead of comforted her.

“I wish we could be certain. I just hope that we won’t have to wait until my memorial service to find out.”

“We won’t, you’ll see.”

She might not have faith in herself at the moment, but it was okay. Ben had enough for the both of them.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize again for the long time between chapters, but I hope this was worth the wait. PLEASE be warned that there is a fair amount of violence in this chapter and in the chapters to come.

They say that when you love someone, you want to give them the world. But what do you give one of the most powerful people in said world, one who had thousands at her beck and call? She might not own the world, but she personally knew most of the people that ran it. He was her subordinate, would always be

But this was why his mission was so important to him, even more so now than when he had started. This was his opportunity to give her back something after everything she’d done for him. This was more than a job now, had been for a long time.

He might not be able to give her the world, but he could give her back _her_ world. Things were about to change, he just knew it. With the phone pressed to his ear, he didn’t even try to bite back the grin that was forming as Chris brought him up to speed.

“So, with any luck, we’ll be able to get you two out of there very soon,” Chris told him. “As soon as we have new information, I’ll have it sent over to you.” He laughed ecstatically. “Ben, this is the break we’ve been looking for!”

Ben couldn’t help but smile back, sharing in his friend’s enthusiasm. “I can’t wait to tell Leslie. This is the best news we could have gotten.”

“Well, hopefully it’ll only get better from here.”

“Seriously, man, thank you. For everything.”

Chris’ voice softened. “Of course, my friend. You are both very important to me, and I’m not going to rest until we get you back here safe and sound. Now, do give my best to President Knope.”

“Of course. Bye, Chris.”

He hung up the phone with a quick slam and sprinted to Leslie’s bedroom.

“They agreed.”

She looked up from her book and frowned. “Who agreed to what?”

“I just got off the phone with Chris. He said there was some figurative arm twisting, but Eagleton accepted the UN’s recommendation and agreed to give us what we need to try and identify our unknown extremists.”

A slow smile spread on her face as she jumped up and threw her arms around him.

“That’s amazing. How soon do you think we’ll be able to get I.D’s? The next few days? A week or so?”

Ben frowned. “Probably not as soon as that. They still have thirty days to comply.”

Her smile dropped and she flopped back onto the bed with a groan. “Thirty days? That’s way too long. Who knows what they’ll be able to cover up by then? Who knows how much more damage the group can do before we even find out who their dead members are?”

“These things take time, Leslie.”

She slammed her fist against a pillow. “That’s the problem. Everything takes too much time and I hate it. We wait a month for Eagleton to give us information we should have had ages ago and then what? Wait another month before you link these people to anything useful--if that? Then another to try to track them down? I’m running out of months, Ben.”

He was a bit taken aback by her harsh tone and crossed his arms. “We’re doing the best that we can,” he said sharply. “We’re not just sitting around on our asses twiddling our thumbs. Eagleton is our only hope right now of tracking these people down, and yeah, this bureaucratic bullshit is making everything difficult, but we have no other choice. I’d at least thought you’d be happy that we have something.”

Leslie stopped pulling on the loose threads of the pillowcase and turned to him, contrite. “I didn’t-I wasn’t trying to-” She stopped and and slumped her shoulders. “I know you’re trying your best, and this is good news. I should be happy, but it’s just…” She threw her hands up in exasperation. “It’s just so frustrating. It’s like every time we try to take a step forward, we might as well be moving through quicksand. And Eagleton has been nothing but uncooperative. They’re going to keep dragging their feet for as long as possible.”

Ben walked over and sat beside her on the bed. “They can try, but we have a lot more people on our side than they do. If they know what’s best for them, they’ll cooperate, even if they have to do it kicking and screaming.” He pulled her to him so that her cheek rested against his chest. “I know this all sucks, but I honestly believe that Eagleton has the answers we’re looking for, and we’ll find them. I promise.”

She squeezed him around his middle. “I know you do. Just remember that no matter what I say in some frustration induced rage, I never doubted you and never will.”

“That means the world to me.” He ticked her scalp with his nose and grinned when she giggled into his chest. “I wish I could make you feel better.”

“Just cuddle me. That’s all I need right now.”

He was more than willing to oblige.

~~~~~

Ben chopped the wood methodically, the steady thwack echoing within the thinning tree branches. Time was passing, as it tended to do, and the warm weather of summer that greeted them when they first arrived at the cabin was giving way to the crisp chill of fall.

After the news of Eagleton’s cooperation, it was back to another waiting game, everyone doing their best to feel useful even though there was nothing left anyone could possibly do.

So instead of sitting around the house and worrying, he came out here, to the woods behind the cabin, and chopped firewood. While physically exhausting, he found the monotony of it oddly comforting. He could think out here, the sounds of nature ringing around him in a song unlike any other.

Today, as the sharp steel pierced log after log, his thoughts drifted once again to Leslie. It was a common occurrence lately, even more so than normal. She wasn’t handling the more recent Eagleton updates very well. Who would, honestly?

While Eagleton agreeing to the terms set forth by the U.N. came as good news, it in no way lifted a weight from her shoulders. Agreeing to terms and actually following through with them were two completely different things. For all they knew, Eagleton was just buying time. They never voiced these concerns, not outright at least, because it was better to pretend to be optimistic. She was already under enough stress. She didn’t need his own negativity to add onto hers.

But regardless, it still weighed heavily on Leslie’s mind, greater than anything Ben had ever seen before. Gone were her days spent making scrapbooks and binders, the spontaneous baking binges and game nights. All she did now was wait for the phone to ring.

At night, she clung to him like he was her only lifeline as pictures of a war-torn Pawnee flashed through her nightmares and painful whimpers escaped her lips.

The fire that had always burned so bright and hot within her was slowly fading away, and he was powerless to stop it, just like he was powerless to stop everything else.

She had her moments, moments where she seemed like her old self again. Genuine smiles and laughs that made Ben’s heart skip a beat, but those moments were over far too soon. Sometimes he wondered if it was guilt that was holding her back, that she didn’t deserve to be happy with everything happening in her absence, everything she felt responsible for.

It was definitely a feeling he knew all too well.

But it was so foreign coming from her, so unnatural. He was supposed to be the sad and brooding one, not her. She was goodness and light and pure joy. She was everything good in this world, and these bastards were destroying her without laying a single finger on her.

He sighed as he wiped the tiny beads of sweat from his brow and tossed the axe aside to pull off his sweatshirt. His arms were getting sore, but he wanted to get in a few more swings before he quit for the day. The exercise had worked wonders as a physical therapy technique and rebuilding the muscle loss after his injury.

Just as he reached for the wooden handle, he froze. The hairs on his back stood up in the distinct way that told him that he was being watched. He turned around slowly and found Leslie standing on the back porch, smiling at him shyly.

“I was hoping you wouldn’t notice me.”

“My dear, I am a highly trained military officer with very fine-tuned senses. Besides, you really aren’t that sneaky.”

“I am so sneaky,” she said, putting her hands on her hips indignantly.

Ben walked over to her and slid his arms around her waist, trying to suppress a smile. “No, babe, you really aren’t. What are you doing out here anyway? It’s getting chilly.”

“Can you blame a girl for wanting to come out and enjoy the show,” she flirted. “Some people pay good money for calendars of hunky lumberjacks, and I have one in my very own yard.”

Ben pulled back with a smirk and flexed his right arm. “You think the military was right to trust me with these guns?”

“I don’t know,” Leslie giggled. “I might need to do a more thorough inspection and determine that for myself.”

“I am at your full disposal. You can inspect me anytime and anywhere. For the good of national security, of course.”

“Oh, of course,” she winked.

Ben sighed happily and tucked some hair behind Leslie’s ear. “I like seeing you like this.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “Smiling and enjoying yourself. I know that it’s been hard for you lately. I like seeing you happy.”

Leslie loosely wrapped her arms around Ben’s neck. “You make me happy. I might not always show it, but I don’t know if I could go through this without you.”

He pressed a soft kiss to her lips. “You make me happy, too. Far happier than I thought I could ever be.”

“Good, then we’re even.” She wrapped a hand around his bare forearm. “And I like seeing you like this, too. You’re kinda cute when you loosen up a little.”

“You mean I’m kinda cute when I’m running around half naked.”

“That too.”  
  
“When will you finally admit that you are only with me for my body?”

She cocked her head and raised an eyebrow. “I don’t think I’ve ever denied it. If you thought otherwise, it’s your own fault. After all, you’re the one who looks all confused when I talk to your butt.”

“You have to admit, that’s a little weird.”

“Your butt doesn’t seem to mind. It doesn’t seem to mind most of the things I do to it.”

“I...I can’t deny that.”

Leslie grinned triumphantly. “And that’s why I always win.” She gave him a quick peck on the nose before reaching down to take his hand. “I think you’ve been out here long enough. Come back inside with me.”

He looked back over his shoulder at his axe and pile of firewood. “Maybe in a little. I wanted to work for a bit longer.”

Leslie pouted, her lower lip jutting out in a way that made Ben want nothing more than to run his tongue across it. It didn’t help that she started dragging her finger up and down his exposed chest.

“That’s a shame. Watching you out here got me really turned on. Oh well,” she sighed dramatically. “I guess I just have to go take care of it myself.”

She moved to turn away, but Ben stopped her. “Like hell you are,” he muttered and grasped her wrist to pull her inside.

The firewood could wait one more day.

~~~~~

The cabin was pulsating with energy, music and laughter permeating the wooden walls. There must have been over a dozen people shoved into the tiny cabin. Some of the off duty guards were milling around the rooms with huge smiles and plates of food and cake, while Leslie floated about, ever the perfect hostess.

Having this many people around was something Ben wasn’t used to out here, but he was loving every second, especially because it was all for him.

It never failed to amaze him the lengths that Leslie could go for those that she loved. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise to him knowing how she was, but the last few weeks had been stressful enough. He didn’t think she had it in her to do this for him, but she was always proving him wrong in the best possible ways.

His beautiful, wonderful, caring, perfect girlfriend had thrown him a surprise birthday party. In a secluded cabin miles away from civilization, the President of Pawnee had thrown him a birthday party. It almost didn’t seem real, but there he was, sitting on the couch with a lopsided party hat and a belly full of cake.

There had still been no news on their unidentified extremists, so earlier he decided to clear his head and do a patrol of the grounds. When he came back, he was so shocked to see Leslie and almost every off duty agent jump out and yell ‘surprise’ that he almost drew his gun. It took a second for it all to sink in, but by then, Leslie had already run and thrown her arms around him while half a dozen hands patted him on the back in congratulations.

No one had ever thrown him a surprise party before. He hadn’t had a party of any kind since he was a child, but of course Leslie would give him one.

He had returned her hug with equal enthusiasm, crushing her to him and whispering a heartfelt thank you in her ear.

They finally pulled apart after a few ‘ooooh’s’ and catcalls were affectionately thrown their way. He went around and shook everyone’s hand and thanked them for coming to celebrate with him. Andy bypassed the outstretched hand and pulled him in for a bear hug that nearly left him breathless.

“Happy birthday, Major Ben!”

“Thanks, Andy,” he said, patting the Agent somewhat awkwardly on the back. “I’m so glad you came!”

“Of course, man. I wouldn’t miss this for the world. The guys out on patrol wished they could be here, but they told me to send you their best.”

He had been so touched that he didn’t know what to say. It was overwhelming for him, to feel so loved and appreciated and...cared for.

Leslie had come bounding back over, birthday hat in tow, and proudly placed it on his head followed by a quick kiss.

“Okay, everyone,” she shouted. “Now, that the birthday boy’s here, this party can get started. There’s plenty of food, so help yourselves, but don’t forget to leave room for cake!”

Everyone moved towards the kitchen just as Leslie started up the music--his favorite ‘hits of the early 90’s’ playlist. It was perfect, and it was all for him. So he ate his fill, tried not to be embarrassed when everyone sang Happy Birthday around his cake, and blew out the candle. He mingled, he laughed, he jokingly sang along to some of his favorite songs, and now, he was just taking a small reprieve on the couch to soak it all in.

“What are you smiling about?”

Ben looked up to see Leslie resting her hip against the arm of the couch, an amused grin on her face. She had on her own askew party hat, and her lips were tinged blue with frosting.

“I was just thinking about how lucky I am to have you in my life, that’s all. This party is amazing. I can’t believe you did this for me.”

She started playing with his hair and Ben hummed as her nails lightly scratched his scalp. “Of course I did this for you. You are important to me and I love you. I just wish we weren’t stuck up here and I could have thrown you something really spectacular. It was hard enough getting Andy to smuggle me the minimal supplies I wanted.”

He reached up to find her hand, bringing it down to his lips. “This is perfect. Wait, no. Perfect was this morning and you woke me up with birthday kisses and promised me a calzone. Perfect was looking over at you in bed and thinking that I could have a million other birthdays like this with you. What you’ve done here? This is beyond perfect.”

Leslie’s eyes softened and she put down her cup of soda on the coffee table before crawling over the couch and perching herself on his lap.

“Never thought I’d live to see the day when I’m cuddling Leslie Knope on a couch in full view of a dozen agents,” he murmured playfully into her hair. “Maybe birthday wishes do come true.”

“Hmm, I hope you didn’t waste your wish on something you were going to get anyway.”

“No, I didn’t. But I did make a wish, though. An important one.”

She grinned up at him lazily, finally crashing from her sugar high, “Tell me. No, don’t tell me or else it won’t come true.”

When the birthday song finished and everyone else yelled for him to make a wish, he closed his eyes. He imagined finding the people responsible for everything that happened and bringing them to justice. He imagined life outside of here, imagined Leslie free to once again lead her country. He imagined never having to see her hurt or upset again.

He wanted his wish to come true. He needed it to.

“Aww, you are just so cute,” Andy said as he walked up to them. “But anyway, great party you guys. We’re having a blast.”

“No problem, Andy,” Leslie replied. “Thank you for helping me smuggle everything and keeping it a surprise.”

“Anything for you and Major Ben, boss.”

“Sir?” A young agent said from behind Andy. He then nodded respectfully to Ben and Leslie. “Major, Madam President. The shift is about to change so we’re all getting ready to head out and make sure that everything runs smoothly.”

Ben and Leslie stood up and said goodbye to their guests as they filed out of the door, only Andy staying behind to help clean up after the party.

When Ben walked into the kitchen, he found Leslie at the sink washing the pile of dirty dishes.

“I think Andy has everything covered in the living room,” he said while reaching for a dish towel, “so I figured I’d come in here.”

“No way,” she protested. “It’s your birthday. You shouldn’t have to clean up after your own party.”

He crept up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist to nibble on her neck. Her hands were elbow deep in soapy water, so she was powerless against him.

“Ben,” she giggled and tried to squirm out of his grasp, but he held her in place.

“What? I thought I was the birthday boy. You are my present after all, and no matter what you say, I’m going to help clean up because you and Andy already did so much. This is the least that I can do.”

But Ben wasn’t planning on moving from his spot anytime soon. He slipped his hands barely beneath the hem of her shirt and tickled her hips while he continued to pepper her neck with tiny nips and kisses.

“Hmm,” Leslie moaned. “Are you going to help me dry or stand there all night?”

His mouth moved to her earlobe. “Do you really want me to stop?” he whispered.

“Hell no.”

He chuckled darkly and gripped her hips even tighter, pulling them flush against him. He relished in every little sigh and moan that she made, the sounds of dishes clanking in the water as she struggled to hold onto them.

That evening ranked high on the list of best moments of his life. And it was going to get even better once he took his amazing girlfriend to his room and made love to her until they were both too exhausted to move.

At least that was the plan until they heard it, the sound so far away but still unmistakeable. It was a sound that haunted both of them in their sleep.

Their fear was confirmed when Andy came rushing into the room, his radio clutched in his hands.

“Affirmative. We have shots fired on the perimeter,” he said into the mouthpiece before tucking the radio back onto his belt and drawing his gun. “You two, grab your thermal coats and emergency packs right now. I’m getting you out of here.”

The two barely exchanged a glance before sprinting to their rooms, Andy close on their heels.

“What the hell is going on?” Leslie asked the agent as she grabbed the backpack from under her bed.

“I don’t know, but we aren’t taking any chances and waiting around to find out. We’re gonna go through with the evacuation plan.”

Ben grabbed his own pack, securing it on his shoulders before drawing his weapon. “Leslie, take your gun with you.”

She looked at him with wide eyes before reaching into her nightstand and pulling out the firearm.

“More shots fired,” a frantic voice said over the radio. “We have multiple suspects on the grounds. I repeat, multiple suspects coming in from the northeast perimeter.”

“Come on. We have to get out of here and into the woods,” Andy urged.

Ben looked on as Leslie pulled the pack onto her back with shaky hands, nodding to her and Andy briefly before leading the way out of the cabin. Andy pulled up the rear, sandwiching Leslie between them.

They all ran out of the back door crouched down low with their weapons drawn. Ben scanned the surrounding area as they fled, but the new moon gave off little illumination. They were almost to the tree line into the woods, almost to some form of cover when a shot came at them from behind, narrowly missing them.

Andy stopped short. “Run. Keep going. I’ll try to hold them off here.”

Ben nodded and reached down to grab Leslie’s wrist, but she wrenched away.

“No, Andy we can’t leave you,” she cried out.

He turned around and even in the low moonlight, Ben had never seen the young agent look so determined.

“Leslie, you need to get out of here right now. Ben, take her and run. Don’t look back. Just keep going.”

He didn’t have to ask him twice. With a scream of protest from Leslie, Ben pulled a little too harshly on her arm and ran for the cover of the trees.

The sound of gunfire once again rang in the air, this time not only coming from the unknown assailants, but from Andy’s own weapon. Ben could feel Leslie resisting with every step that they took, but he kept dragging her along.

Once they left the clearing and entered the woods, Ben chanced a look over his shoulder just in time to see Andy fall to the ground.

Leslie let out a gut-wrenching cry. “Andy, no! Ben, we have to go back and help him,” she pleaded. “We have to. We can’t just leave him.”

It was killing him, a pit of sorrow and pain forming in his stomach, but he had a job to do.

“No, we have to keep going,” he said once again pulling her as he ran deeper and deeper into the woods. He guessed they must have ran at least a good half mile before stopping, until they could no longer hear the sounds of guns or the footsteps of someone chasing after them.

Leslie collapsed breathless onto a tree, gripping at the trunk as she slowly slid to the ground. The sob that came from her was almost unearthly, fear and anguish and anger bubbling up from the innermost part of her.

Ben knelt down and reached out to her, but she flinched away.

“Don’t touch me,” she howled. “How could you? How could you leave him?”

“I-I had to,” he whispered, his own voice raw with emotion. “That was always the plan. Getting you out comes first. Andy would have never forgiven either of us if we went back for him.”

He wanted to make her understand, but she continued to sob against the tree.

“I’m so sorry,” he choked, digging a palm into his eye. He wasn’t sure if the apology was to Leslie or Andy, but he didn’t even bother trying to blink away the tears. His friend could very well be dead, dead because he gave his life protecting them. Andy deserved his tears, deserved the sorrow he was feeling in every nerve of his body. He deserved to be mourned.

He didn’t notice Leslie turn until she threw her arms around him and buried her face into the side of his neck. Her wet, hot tears ran down his skin in rivulets, mingling with the salt of his sweat.

“How many more, Ben?” she hiccuped. “How many more people have to die for this?”

He didn’t have an answer for her. There wasn’t an answer to give. These people stopped at nothing, killed with impunity. They had no regard for life that was not their own, and Ben and Leslie would be next if they didn’t keep moving.

“Leslie.” He ran a gentle hand down the side of her face. “Baby, I know this is hard but we have to keep going. We don’t know if we were being followed, and we need to get to the rendezvous spot as soon as we can. We should make it there in a few hours if we hike through the night.”

She shuddered against him but nodded, taking a few steadying breaths. He gently pulled her up and readjusted the bag on his back.

“If you need to stop and rest, let me know. Do you want me to carry your bag?”

She shook her head dully. Her eyes were red and lifeless, like she had purged every emotion out of her through her tear ducts. She was shutting down.

He laced his fingers with hers, his gun still held firmly in his right hand. “Come on. Let’s go.”

~~~~~

It was standard protocol to have an evacuation plan, but Ben honestly thought it would never be needed. They had been so careful in everything, their location and hand selecting the agents patrolling the area, that he didn’t think anyone would ever find them.

But he followed the rules, dutifully packing his emergency bag with non-perishable food, a change of clothes, and supplies needed to last a few days in the woods should the need arise.

There was also a preselected rendezvous point several miles from the cabin. It was an old, abadoned ranger station that apparently wasn’t on any current maps. The plan was that if the safehouse was compromised for any reason, they would hike through the woods and await a team at the station to escort them to safety.

Ben wasn’t sure a safe place existed for them anymore, not if this “black knight” and his group were able to find them all the way out in Ron’s untraceable cabin. All they could do now was make it to the ranger station and hope that there would be people waiting for them.

“Are you sure you know where we’re going?”

Leslie’s voice startled Ben. She hadn’t spoken a word in the two hours they had been walking.

“Yeah, pretty sure. We hiked the path a few times. You remember some of those patrols that I was out all day for? This was why. But I have the compass and map in my bag just in case.”

“Do you think there’s anybody left? Do you think they were able to get word back to Chris or Trumple before they…”

“Don’t. Don’t think like that.”

“It’s a valid question, isn’t it?”

At any other time, he would have expected her to be defiant, to defend herself and her thinking, but now she just sounded...resigned.

“Even if they-” Died. Even if they died, but he couldn’t say it. He cleared his throat. “Even if they weren’t able to get a word back to headquarters about the attack, if no one checks in at the regularly scheduled times, it is assumed that something happened and that we went through with the evacuation plan. A team should have been deployed to the rendezvous point when there was no check-in at 0200 hours.”

She barely acknowledged his answer.

He stopped walking and pulled a canteen from his pack. “Let’s stop for a little while. Here,” he held the water out to her, “drink some of this.”

“I’m not thirsty.”

“Leslie, I know you might not feel thirsty, but I think you’re in a mild state of shock and are on your way to being dehydrated. You need to drink some water.”

She turned her head slowly and stared at the canteen in his hand for so long that Ben thought he’d have to bring the bottle to her lips himself. Finally, she reached for it and took a sip.

“Drink a little bit more.”

She shook her head. “I-I don’t think I can without being sick.”

Ben sighed and took his own large gulps. He didn’t know if her shivering was from the cold or not, but she was definitely in shock. He wished she would drink more, but having her throw the water back up would only serve to dehydrate her even further.

“Okay, but promise me the second you feel you can stomach some more, you let me know, okay?”  
  
She didn’t answer him again, but that came as no surprise.

“We need to keep moving to keep our body heat up.”

They continued down the barely visible path at a slow walk. Ben didn’t hold it against her, not after what he was going through right now, but if they had been able to walk at a faster pace, they’d almost be at the station by now. At this rate, they’d be lucky to make it there by sunrise.

They trudged along, over fallen tree branches and exposed roots, listened to the sounds of nocturnal animals screaming at them for invading their sanctuary. They couldn't see three feet in front of them, but Ben was wary to use up the flashlight battery unless absolutely necessary.

The sun was just starting to peak over the horizon, the faint pinks and oranges and yellows cutting through the darkness of the night when they saw the tiny, abandoned station out in the distance.

“We’re almost there,” he said encouragingly to an exhausted Leslie, squeezing her hand through their gloves.

As they stepped out of the woods and onto the clearing, Ben crouched down and kept his gun poised and ready. He didn’t see any activity around, so that meant their escort group wasn’t there yet, and who knew what could be waiting for them inside.

“Stay close behind me, okay?” he whispered. “I’m gonna check to make sure everything is all clear.”

They crept along the side of the building towards the front door. The station was an old fashioned log cabin, much like the one they had been living in the past months. Ben walked as silently as he could up the wooden porch stairs, not wanting the creak of the wood to alert anyone of their arrival.

He pushed the front door open painfully slow, his gun held firmly in front of him. As he rounded into the foyer, he gasped.

Hanging by his neck from the rafters was a man dressed in a Pawnee uniform. It was their rendezvous contact, a young soldier who couldn’t have been more than twenty years old. There was a bullet hole through his forehead.

This young man wasn’t hung. He was shot and left here as a warning. There truly was no safe place left.

“Leslie, we have to go. Now.” He turned around quickly and shoved her out in front of him. “Go! Run!”

She started to sprint down the steps, Ben close behind her until he felt something large and heavy barrel into him from the side, his gun flying across the porch.

Leslie screamed as he wrestled blindly with the man who had knocked him down.

“Leslie, get out of here,” he yelled as he tried to block the man’s blows. He managed to get in one good punch and the man stumbled backwards.

Ben used this opportunity to roll onto his stomach and try to crawl towards his gun, but he felt another crushing weight as the man dug his knee into his back.

Leslie ran, but not in the direction that Ben had wanted. Instead, she hurled herself at the man, but he was far too strong. He backhanded her and she landed several feet away.

For a brief second, Ben wondered why this man was bothering to even fight them. He had an AK-47 slung over his shoulder and could have easily killed them by now.

The two men continued to grapple, and soon Ben felt the large man’s hands wrap around his throat. He fought and scratched, but the man’s grip never waned. His vision was starting to blur as his lungs fought for oxygen, and just before he felt the life start to fade out of him, the sound of a shot rang out.

The hands immediately loosened as the heavy body slumped off to the side. Ben sat up as quickly as he could, coughing and spluttering as he took giant gulps of air. Looking over, he saw Leslie sprawled in the same spot as before but with her gun now pointed out in front of her. Her eyes were as wide as saucers as she stared at the man she had just killed.

Ben turned and crawled over to her, slowly and gently reaching out to take the gun from her shaking hands.

“He was going to kill you,” she whispered. “If I hadn’t stopped him, he would have killed you. I-I had to do it.”

“I know you did,” he soothed. “You didn’t do anything wrong. You did what you had to do.” He helped her to her feet. “We really need to get out of here. There could be more on their way.”

“Where are we going to go?”

“I don’t know. There should be a town not too far from here. We have enough supplies to last us a few days in the woods. I say we hike to the nearest town and try to make contact with Chris or anybody back at the Capital.”

Leslie looked once again at the dead man not 5 feet away from them and nodded mutely. “I think-I think I should probably, uhm, use the, uh…”

Ben’s eyes widened in recognition. “Yeah, uhm, okay.” He remembered the dead man hanging from the rafters. “Wait, no, don’t go inside. I think it’s best if you went in the woods, okay? I’ll wait right here and get anything I can off of this guy. Don’t go far and take your gun with you, okay?”

She nodded once again and sprinted off to the woods. He watched her take cover behind a tree, and when he felt satisfied that she was out of danger, he turned to give her some privacy and began searching the dead man’s pockets.

He heard the crunch of leaves and snapping twigs behind him, thinking it was Leslie until the footsteps grew closer. The tread was far too loud and heavy to be Leslie’s, but by the time he realized it, it was too late. He turned just in time to see the butt of a rifle slam into his temple.

~~~~~

Ben slowly came to. His eyelids felt like heavy weights, and the throbbing pain in his head made him groan out loud. He panicked when he couldn’t move his arms, and it took several seconds before he realized it was because they were tied behind his back.

He struggled against the binds, but considering the rest of him was tied to a chair, it didn’t do him much good. When he could finally open his eyes, he couldn’t see much. The room he was in was pitch black with no visible windows. It was dank, like a basement. He could smell the familiar scent of the mold that most likely coated the cement walls.

His thoughts were fuzzy and jumbled at first. He tried to piece together what had happened, why he was where he was. Then, almost in an instant, he remembered the ranger station. He remembered getting ambushed after Leslie went into the woods.

Leslie. Oh God. He had left her alone, and who knows what happened to her. He had to find her.

He fought hard against his restraints, putting every ounce of what little energy he had into trying to break free. He screamed her name over and over again, calling out to her in the off chance she was somewhere close enough to hear him.

He screamed until his throat was as raw as the skin around his wrists.

The sound of a lock opening drew his attention, and Ben had to close his eyes as light filtered into the room.

He blinked several times, trying to let his eyes adjust, but at first all he saw was the outline of a hulking figure walk towards him. It was the man that knocked him out at the station, the rifle that was used on Ben hanging off of his shoulder.

“You son of a bitch!” Ben screamed, once again thrashing against his bonds. “Where is she? What did you do to her? I swear to god if you so much as touched Leslie, I’ll fucking kill you with my bare hands!”

The man did nothing but smirk.

“You’re nothing more than a pawn too, aren’t you? What? Did you come in here to finish me off?”

“Now, Major Wyatt, what fun would that be?”

Ben was so focused on the man from the station that he didn’t notice the second figure walking in through the door. This man wasn’t nearly as tall or muscular as the first one, but he too had a rifle slung across his chest. He was still too far away to distinguish a face.

Ben growled menacingly, seething through his teeth. “Where. Is. She.”

“Really? Is that how you greet an old friend?”

Ben spit in his direction.

“My, my. You really haven’t changed, have you? Still spunky and tenacious when you want to be.”

“What the fuck are you even talking about.”

The man stepped closer. “Why, I’m hurt.”

No. No, it was impossible. But his voice, it was so familiar, even after all of these years.

“Now you’re catching on, aren’t you?”

“He’s dead. He died in the explosion.”

“You hear that?” the man laughed over at his associate. “I’m a dead man!” He stepped closer and crouched down right in front of him. “Do I look like a dead man, Benji?”

He was so close that Ben could smell his acrid breath and finally see his face. It had aged, just like his own had, but it was him. He would die remembering that face.

“Jimmy…”

“Aww, would you look at that! He does remember me. I’m tingling with warm, fuzzy feelings.”

“But how? You were identified in that explosion. I had proof in my hands that it was you.”

“You know, it’s amazing the things you can accomplish with a little computer hacking. A few clicks here and there, swap a few names, then BOOM! My teeth are suddenly somebody else’s and here you are talking to a dead man.”

“Where’s Leslie? Did you kill her?”

Yurgin scoffed. “Of course not. Not yet, at least. We have plans for her first. I’ve got to say though, I really thought you had better taste, old friend. At least tell me she’s a good fuck.”

Ben lashed out again, but Yurgin only laughed as he struggled.

“If you give her so much as give her a scratch I’ll-”

“You’ll what, Benji? What do you possibly think you can do now?”

Ben fumed in silence. Yurgin was right, he was powerless.

“I wanna see your boss,” Ben demanded. “This fucking “blank knight” who’s running this show and thinks he’s so god damn smart. He tried so hard to play with me like I was some worthy adversary. Well, he has me. I want to talk to him.”

Yurgin crouched closer and Ben could see the whites of his dark eyes.

“Oh Benji, Benji, Benji. I’m a little hurt you didn’t figure it out. I thought you were smarter than that. But then again, you always were a bit of a disappointment, weren’t you?” He smiled the crooked smile that had haunted Ben’s nightmares for twenty years. “I _am_ the boss, and we’re going to have so much fun with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on tumblr @ benwyattforcongress


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She wished their ‘forever’ could have been so much longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These next few chapters are running sort of parallel to one another, just told from the differing perspectives. PLEASE be warned that this chapter has mentions (but not graphic descriptions) of torture and violence, so be cautious if these are triggering for you. But there is also a hint of fluffy smut, so it's not ALL angsty and terrible. I hope it was worth the wait!

Ben told her to run, but she just couldn’t. At least, she thought he told her to run. Her blood was pumping so loud in her ears, all she could hear was the constant thump of her heart beating. She felt helpless as the large, hulking man tackled Ben to the ground, the two of them rolling across the porch in an attempt to get the upper hand. She was almost positive that screams were coming from her own mouth as the man’s fist repeatedly made contact with Ben’s face and torso.

But no matter how loudly he screamed for her to go, to just leave him and save herself, she wouldn’t. She wasn’t going to leave him like they left Andy.

Ben managed to block a few blows and retaliate, his own military training kicking in, but all that did was give him a few extra seconds to try to crawl away. As he turned over and made an effort reach for his gun, Leslie saw the blood pouring out of his lip and nose.

Instead of running away, she found her bearings and made a running leap towards Ben’s attacker, hoping to at least distract him enough for Ben to get an advantage. She put every ounce of energy she possessed into her assault, throwing the full force of her weight against him, but she was in no way a match for the muscled man.

White, hot pain shot through her as his knuckles slammed against her cheekbones, the sheer force of it throwing her across the porch. Through blurring vision, she watched in horror as the man wrapped his fingers around Ben’s throat, a murderous glint in his eyes as he squeezed. Ben struggled and gasped for air, his nails clawing frantically at the assailants arms and hands, but it in no way deterred his grasp.

Leslie choked back a gasp and shifted again, intent to throw herself at him once more--a million times more if it would save Ben’s life. With her back pressed against the porch, she felt it, the gun that she had tucked into the waistband of her jeans and forgotten. All other thoughts left her mind; all she could think about was saving Ben, and there was only one way to do it.

With trembling hands, she reached for the weapon and clicked off the safety, thinking back to every lesson out on the shooting range behind the cabin with Ben and Andy.

Andy. Andy, who could very well be dead right now because of people like this man.

She aimed the gun and pulled the trigger, for Andy, for Ben, for the countless others that this man helped destroy. She wasn’t going to let him take away anyone else.

Almost immediately, the man released his hold on Ben’s throat and toppled over. Leslie saw Ben struggle to sit up, saw him gasping for air, but she couldn’t move. Her hands stayed poised in front of her, the gun clutched almost painfully in her grasp. As the fear and adrenaline started to fade away, it all hit her like a ton of bricks.

She had just killed a man.

It wasn’t until he was right in front of her, gently coaxing the gun from her hands, that she even noticed Ben had moved. She rambled on and on as if she had to justify her actions to him, as if he wouldn’t understand why she had to pull the trigger.

She always thought that if the time came for her to take a life, she’d be able to handle it. She’d be able to ignore any guilt or sorrow because it would be the right thing to do.

As she stared at the lifeless man on the porch, she realized how wrong she was. No matter what the reason, she had taken someone’s life.

A wave of nausea violently washed over her, and there was a painful pressure on her bladder. She half-listened as Ben explained his plan to hike to the nearest town and try to contact Chris, nodding along and asking the right questions, but she couldn’t tear her eyes away from the bleeding body, nor could she ignore her screaming bladder any longer.

‘“I think-I think I should probably, uhm, use the, uh…”

His stuttered response might have been endearing at any other time, but there were too many other things to worry about. Ben wouldn’t let her back into the cabin--not that she would want to-- so instead, she tucked the gun back into her jeans and ran to a secluded tree.

She didn’t know how she didn’t see him, how she couldn’t hear him coming. Maybe it was the stress, maybe it was the return of the sound of blood pumping loudly in her ears, but whatever it was seemed irrelevant as a strong hand reached out from behind over her mouth and held her in place.

She struggled, struggled with every last ounce of energy that she had, but there was no way to fight the chloroform soaked rag that was pressed over her nose and mouth. She felt her body grow weaker and weaker as it succumbed to the chemical, and no matter how hard she tried, her eyelids kept getting heavier.

Her last thoughts were of Ben and how she wished she could have told him she loved him just one more time before she died.

 

* * *

 

The smell was the first thing that Leslie noticed as her body regained consciousness. It was a putrid, musty smell that made her even more sick to her stomach than she already was. She felt the gag that had been shoved into her mouth, and the taste of old cotton invaded her tastebuds. Any attempts at movement were thwarted by the binds that held her in place.

Her body was so tired and weak that all she wanted was to drift off into oblivion once more, but the faint sound of screams--Ben’s screams-- woke her up like a splash of cold water to the face.

She couldn’t tell how far away he was, but there was no denying that Ben was screaming her name. She tried to respond, tried to give him some indication that she was there with him, that she was alive, but no sound made it past the gag.

That didn’t stop her, though. She screamed and wrestled with her restraints until her body was too exhausted to move anymore and she slumped against the chair in defeat. She weakly turned her head and tried to take in the room, but it was too dark. It was cold and dank with no natural light to speak of. She could only assume she was in some kind of cell or bunker.

Ben’s screams had tapered off as well, and she could only hope that it was due to his own exhaustion and not something more sinister.

Leslie couldn’t even venture a guess as to where she was, let alone why she was there. A lot of things that happened when they were ambushed in the woods didn’t make sense. They had tried to assassinate her in front of her entire country, so if their whole plan was for her to kill her, why hadn’t they? The man she had killed could have easily finished them both off with the AK-47 he had slung over his shoulder.

Okay, that was a lie. She _could_ venture a guess as to why she was there, bound and gagged in a dark cell, but she didn’t want to even think about it. She’d almost preferred assassination over what they most likely had in store for her and Ben.

They wanted something from her, and they were most likely going to torture her to get it before they finally killed her. Her body started to tremble at the thought, the whole gamut of torture possibilities running through her mind.

She hung her head and willed herself not to cry. She was Leslie fucking Knope, damn it. President of Pawnee. They could torture her, they could threaten her, they could kill her, but she wasn’t going to turn on her country. Pawnee belonged to its people, and she wasn’t going to allow these Eagletonian terrorists to take it from them. She would die before she let that happen.

She wasn’t sure how long she had been sitting there when she heard the click of the lock and the door opening. She turned her head away to shield her eyes from the piercing light. The sound of two sets of footsteps came in her direction, and she anxiously chewed on the rag in her mouth.

“Welcome to Eagleton, President Knope,” a voice said to her. “We do hope you’re enjoying your accommodations.”

She squinted at the man who was now a few feet away from her, but she could still only see a blurry shadow as her eyes adjusted. There was another man standing off to the side with a rifle in hand, and Leslie could almost laugh. As if she could escape bound to a chair with her hands tied behind her back.

If she could talk, she’d be screaming and cursing and spitting, but instead she gave him the most spiteful, hateful look she could muster, pushing herself as far back against the chair as possible as the man walked even closer to her.

He seemed unfazed and continued on as though nothing was out of the ordinary.

“Oh, where are my manners? Can’t very well have a civil conversation if you’re all gagged up.” He leaned forward, so close that she could smell the pungent stench of his breath. “But I should warn you,” he said in a dangerous whisper, “if you scream when I take this off, your boyfriend will get it.”

Her eyes widened and her breathing quickened.

“That’s right,” he smiled, and it sent a shiver down her spine. “I figure you heard him earlier when he was causing all of that ruckus. So, take my advice and don’t scream. No one that can help you will hear you anyway. We clear?”

She nodded and he untied the gag. “There, now, isn’t that better?”

“Where’s Ben?” she spat. “What did you do to him?”

“Oh he’s...around. But don’t worry, his room isn’t better than yours. You’ve got the luxury suite.”

“Who the fuck are you and what do you want with me?”

The man tsked and stood back as if affronted. “You know, I’ve heard that a lot today, and it’s beginning to get offensive.”

Leslie took a good, hard look at him. She studied his features, the ridge of his brow, the slope of his nose, his lips, his jaw line. There was something eerily familiar about him, but she just couldn’t place it, until finally, it clicked. He had aged twenty years since his last official picture, a few more sags and wrinkles here and there, but the face was still the same.

“You’re dead,” she said in disbelief.

He barked a laugh. “That’s what Benji said, too. But I must advise you, Ms. Knope, that you really need to work on making sure that your military servers are more secure. It was far too easy to get into and switch a few dental records around.”

“It was you, wasn’t it. You’re the one behind everything.” It was all starting to make sense.  
  
Yurgin placed a hand over his heart and sighed dreamily. “Look at that. You figured it out in one.”

“The guy in charge wouldn’t send one of his lackeys to meet with me. I know that much. If you’re the one here talking to me, it’s because you’ve been in control all along.”

“I gotta say, you’re a lot smarter than your boyfriend over there.”

“He’s not my boyfriend. He’s just my bodyguard and military protection.”

She hoped she sounded convincing. The last thing Ben needed was for them to know that he was weak spot for her, that there was anything more between them than a professional relationship.

This laugh was more obnoxious than the first. “If you think we believe that, than maybe you are as fucking stupid as Benji.”

“I swear, he’s not-”

He swooped down and roughly grabbed her chin with his hand, squeezing so hard that she almost cried out in pain. His jovial expression was long gone, replaced with a look of unbridled rage.

“Don’t lie to me. Don’t you dare fucking lie to me. You think I’m stupid? You think I don’t have people everywhere telling me everything? I probably knew how he felt about you before you did. I know you’ve been out at that cabin screwing like horny little bunnies. If you think that lying to me is gonna save Wyatt from anything, you are sorely mistaken. You got that?”

She swallowed and nodded, and he wrenched his hand away. It was scary how quickly his face once again changed as if nothing happened He stood up quickly, the sick, saccharine smile covering up any traces of the hatred that were there previously. He tugged and smoothed his shirt, wiping away any invisible traces of dirt or dust.

"Now, let me make myself perfectly clear. We know of yours and Major Wyatt's...relationship, and believe me, we will exploit that to get what we want.”

"You already have me. You don't need Ben. He doesn't know anything of use to you."

"You're right. We have enough people inside your government that even the knowledge of an intelligence officer is useless to me." He paused. "You, on the other hand, are the last piece of my puzzle."

"If you think that I'll cooperate with you in any way, then you're wasting your time. You might as well kill me."

He bared his teeth. "All in good time. But right now you're of more use to me alive."

Leslie internally breathed a sigh of relief. "Then what do you need with him? Please, you have me. Just let him go." It was a useless plea, she knew that, but she had to try to barter for his life.

"Oh, Ms. Knope, he is of the utmost use to me--leverage." That twisted grin returned to his face and he nodded his head towards Leslie.

She struggled against her bonds, turning her head from side to side as Yurgin's large, silent companion came to regag her. She grunted and screamed until a strong hand held her face still and shoved the dirty cloth into her mouth.

Her eyes widened and she continued screaming once she heard Ben again desperately calling out her name.

Yurgin's back straightened as he heard the yells seeping into the cell, and he turned to his companion with a twisted grin. "I think it's time to pay Benji another visit. We'll talk again soon, Madam President, and believe me, in time, you'll give me everything I need." He walked towards the door and turned around. "Listen closely. What you hear just might change your mind about cooperating."

Leslie growled against the rag, a feral, painful sound as the door slammed shut and once again plunged the room into darkness. Her head lulled forward, her chin resting against her chest as she finally let her emotions take over. At first, she was numb. There were too many thoughts and feelings running through her head.

But out of all of them, what she felt the most was pure hatred. She despised Yurgin with every fiber of her being. She wanted him dead. She wanted him to pay with his life for everything he had done. To her friends, to her citizens.

To Ben.

He was the cause of everything, and for that, he needed to die.

She cried out when she heard Ben's faint scream of pain. It was muffled, like he was trying to stifle it, but the screams became progressively louder until they were bloodcurdling.

It wasn’t until she felt the tears running onto her chin that she realized she was sobbing. She could barely take breaths deep enough to keep her from hyperventilating.

She wasn't sure how long the torture lasted. Minutes, hours. It almost didn't matter because it felt like an eternity. She cried until she was sick, the fear of choking only slightly quelling the desire to vomit.

When the screams stopped, it didn’t bring with it the peace that she had hoped for. There was no way of knowing if it was a good or bad sign. She strained to listen, hoping for some clue that Ben was alright, or at least still alive, but there was nothing.

In that moment, she was sure that she had never hated herself more. For the first time, she wished that she had never been born a Knope, hadn’t been born with the responsibility of leading an entire nation.

She wished she was someone like Grant Larson. Spend her life building parks that make people happy. For all of the good she had done, it could never make up for the destruction.

Her friends wouldn't have to fear for their lives. Countless agents, young men and women with so much to live for wouldn't have died protecting her.

She’d have Andy back. Sweet, kind, lovable Andy. He’d still be around cracking jokes, and April wouldn’t have to live the rest of her life as a widow. Leslie could feel her heart physically break at the thought of her young assistant. How she must hate her right now for being the reason Andy was gone.

Of course, there was also Ben. Ben, who had overcome so much in his life before he met her, had so much promise. Unless by some miracle Chris and the rest of the team figured out their location, they would both die here at the hands of Ben's oldest enemy. Of that, she was certain.

Leslie choked back a wail. She had never loved anyone so fully, so deeply, until she met him. He was the bravest and strongest man that she had ever known, apart from her father. He vowed to protect her, took a bullet for her, endured torture for her, without ever asking for anything in return.

He loved her, and by doing so, he signed his own death warrant.

All this time he had been afraid that he was the one that was a danger to her, when it was the other way all along. He was going to be another person whose blood was on her hands.

She was too emotionally distraught to cry anymore, as if she had anymore tears left anyway. Her entire body ached in ways she didn’t know existed, ways that went far beyond physical exhaustion. It was the ache of someone who was tired of carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders.

She just wanted it all to end.

Finally giving in to her exhaustion, she hung her head and closed her eyes, wishing that she’d never have to open them again.

 

* * *

 

She awoke to the feeling of something soft and warm traveling across her face and neck, and she smiled.

"Wake up, sleepy head," Ben whispered in her ear before gently nipping at her lobe.

She stretched but quickly curled back into the warm sheets.

"What's this?" he said with amusement. "The earliest of early birds refusing to wake up?"

"Somebody tired me out last night," she yawned and turned to look at Ben over her shoulder.

He winked and waggled his eyebrows. "Always happy to provide my services."

"Well, you have one very satisfied customer."

He slid closer to her and pulled her flush against his chest, pressing a wet kiss to her neck. "I believe you made that very clear to me--what was it? Three times?"

"Don't get cocky," she retorted.

"You love it. Admit it."

She turned over and shoved her legs between his while threading her hands through his hair.

"You're right. I do love it, but don't let it get to your head."

"I just received a glowing review on my cunnilingus skills by the president. How am I not supposed to let that happen?"

She giggled and kissed him. "Can we stay like this forever?" she sighed as his fingers traced patterns across her ribs. "Just lie here and do nothing.

"You know you'd be bored out of your skull within minutes."

"I'm already bored out of my skull out here. This might just be the most enjoyable way to pass time."

One of his hands came up from her belly, and he ran a light finger down the side of her face. "I'll stay with you here for as long as you can stand it."

His eyes were soft and tender as he looked at her, his finger still running lazily across her cheek and brushing her bottom lip. "You're so beautiful."

"No one's beautiful this early in the morning," she scoffed.

"You are. Crusty eyes, morning breath, and all," he teased and kissed the end of her nose.

"Were you always such a charmer?" she answered dryly.

He grinned. "Nope. You just bring out the best in me, I guess."

She was so happy and content, and she tried to hide her giddy smile by burrowing into Ben's chest. She wanted to be as close to him as possible. Breath him in. Feel every inch of his skin pressed against hers.

His hands moved to her back and his nose rested atop of her head. She peppered tiny kisses across the scars spanning his chest, and he hummed.

"What's gonna happen when we get back?" he asked softly.

"What do you mean?"

"When this is all over. What happens next?"

Leslie sighed. "Ben, we've talked about this. How I feel about you won't change once we're back home." She raised her head and looked him in the eye while holding his head in firmly in place with a hand on his cheek. "I love you. That's it. It's not conditional upon where we are or who we're around. I want to be with you."

He smiled and leaned into her touch before guiding her hand to his mouth and kissing her palm. "I know that. Really, I do. But there's more things to consider. I mean home for me is much different than home for you. What happens when I go back to the Border and you to the Capital?"

She honestly hadn't thought much about it before. She was just used to things working out the way she wanted it to.

"Are you...would you be opposed to moving to the Capital?"

"Not particularly," he shrugged. "But my job is on the Border, and getting a transfer to the Capital isn't easy."

She stared like he had just grown a second head. "Ben, you're working on the most high profile case in recent history. You saved my life. When this is over, you can have your pick of any job you want. He probably thinks you're weird, but Trumple would have no choice but to give you a promotion."

He blinked. "Wait, you mean I didn't have to sleep with you to get a better job?" He groaned dramatically and flopped onto his back. "Why didn't you tell me that before?"

She shoved him playfully, squealing when his arms snaked around her waist and pulled her on top of him.

"You mean tell you and miss out on all this?" she said, resting her chin on his chest. "Not a chance."

Ben's fingers gently massaging her scalp felt heavenly, and her eyes grew heavy.

"Do you have any idea how much I love you?" he said low, almost to himself.

She pulled herself up and hovered over his face. "I might. Especially if it's as much as I love you."

Ben couldn’t stop touching her face, almost as if he couldn't believe this was real and she'd disappear any second.

"Then we're in trouble because this much love in one room can't possibly be legal."

"We're in luck. As supreme lawmaker in Pawnee, I can assure you that we are well within our legal rights. I'm pretty sure our love could increase another 10 times and we'd still be fine."

He looked worried and bit his lip. "Only 10 times, huh? That might not be enough considering I find myself falling more and more in love with you every day. Taking that plus the fact that I plan on spending many more days with you into account, I'll be over that limit in about... three days."

"So soon?" She tapped her pointer finger on her lip in thought. "Hmm, that could be an issue. Good thing I have the power to make executive orders and indefinitely increase the amount of love allowed in one room at a time."

He squeezed her hips. “Hearing you talk about executive orders like that turns me on so much.”

“See, you do have a thing for women in power. Just admit it.”

“Just one. And _you_ have to admit, it’s well deserved. She’s smart, sexy, and can put together a binder like it’s nobody’s business.”

She chuckled and slid down to rest her head on his chest. “I’ll never deny the admiration of my loyal subjects. You’re Army Intelligence. Your word has to count for something.”

He hummed in agreement, ghosting his fingers up and down her bare back. “Also, in my professional opinion, you make an excellent blanket. Much more preferable to the alternative.”

“Only because you like my boobs being pressed up against you.”

“Yeah, and? I’m not seeing the problem here. When my choices are between a cotton-polyester blend or naked Leslie, who happens to have _amazing_ breasts, it’s a no-brainer.”

Leslie giggled and snuggled even more against him. “Happy to be of service, Major Wyatt.”

She peered up and saw Ben with his eyes closed in contentment, a soft smile on his lips as his hands continued their lazy journey across her body.

“So, you’re really down with staying in bed all day with me?” she asked.

“Oh, yeah. Probably the best idea you’ve had in a while. The guys outside can survive without me for one day. If they were in my place, they’d understand.”

“That’s good.” She paused and squirmed around. “But you were right.”

“I usually am...about what, though?”

She propped herself up and cackled. “That I’d be bored out of my skull within minutes. I’m starving. Get up and help me make breakfast.”

He groaned when she starting shaking his shoulders. “Babe,” he whined, “I was just getting comfortable again and everything.”

“And I want breakfast.”

She didn’t wait for a response, instead moving to scramble out of bed. She was crawling towards the edge and about to step out when a strong pair of arms wrapped around her middle and hoisted her up into the air.

“Ben!” she shrieked as she was thrown against the pillows.

“You promised me a morning in bed,” he murmured as he loomed over her.

She writhed under the heat of his gaze. “But I’m hungry.”

His eyes swept over her exposed body and he licked his lips. “Me, too. But I was thinking more along the lines of having breakfast in bed.”

His hand snaked down her ribs and settled between her legs. She gasped when two of his fingers danced at her entrance, gather the wetness that was pouring out of her at his touch. She didn’t bother smothering the moan that came when he pumped those two fingers inside of her, nor when he raised them to his mouth to suck them dry.

He leaned forward and kissed her, the flavor of herself exploding against her tastebuds as his tongue invaded her mouth.

“Is that okay?” he asked softly against her lips, one hand coming up to gently brush hair away from her forehead. “Can I eat first?”

She nodded mutely, her voice caught in her throat. Her waffles could wait.

His tongue traced a path from her lips to her pelvis, taking a long detour at each of her “fucking perfect” breasts.

Leslie’s back arched off of the bed when Ben’s tongue made contact with her clit. Her hands grasped and pulled at his hair when his tongue then, finally, his fingers moved in and out of her. There was now a whole different hunger in her belly, one that couldn’t wait to be sated.

She rotated her hips wildly, anything to increase the delicious friction he was creating with his mouth and hands. And when he finally-- _finally_ let her come, she was freefalling, consumed by the feeling of weightlessness.

But as always, Ben was there to catch her, peppering soft kisses on the inside of her thighs, his thumb rubbing gentle circles across her ribs. She kept her eyes closed as her breathing slowed, feeling Ben slowly slide up next to her.

“You want me to start on breakfast?”

She mumbled a no and turned into his chest. “You made me tired again. Can we go back to my original plan?”

She felt the puff of breath as he laughed into her hair. “Of course we can. You know my stance on that topic.”

“Good.” She sighed, her eyes feeling heavier and heavier. “Promise me you’ll never leave, okay. Promise that you’ll stay with me forever.”

She drifted off to sleep, the whispered reply of ‘forever’ echoing in her ears.

 

* * *

 

When her eyes snapped open, she half expected to be in Ben’s arms, laying on her bed back in the cabin. She let out a choked, tired sob as the dream faded away, and all that she saw were the dark, dank walls of the cell.

Her subconscious had been especially cruel. What could have been nothing more than a pleasant memory now only served as a tortured reminder of everything she was losing. She wished she could have a million more days just like that one from her dream. She wished that Ben didn’t have to break his promise to her.

She wished their ‘forever’ could have been so much longer.

But it wasn’t, she thought to herself. It wasn’t, and there was nothing she could do about it. She sat up straight and took a deep breath. It was time to stop feeling sorry for herself. Feeling sorry wasn’t going to help her. It certainly wasn’t going to help Ben or her country, for that matter. She still had a job to do, whether she liked it or not, and she wasn’t going to make _their_ job any easier.

And so she waited. There was no way to know how much time had passed, but the burning in her bladder gave some indication. She was trying to formulate a bathroom plan when the door slid open and the now familiar shadow of James Yurgin moved towards her.

“Wakey, wakey--oh look, she’s already up,” he said to the ever present thug walking in behind him. “And how was your night?”

She just narrowed her eyes.

The man with the rifle also came carrying a bucket and a glass of water that Leslie eyed hungrily.

“I’ll bet these look very nice to you right now,” Yurgin said once he noticed her staring.

Leslie tried to look away, uninterested, but the need for water only intensified.

Yurgin jerked his head and the guard walked over to Leslie and ripped out her gag, putting the glass up to her lips. She drank from it greedily, not caring one bit that water was streaming out of the sides of her mouth and across her front.

When the glass was empty, she pulled away, eyeing him like a caged animal would a potential threat. The guard walked around the cell, placing the bucket in the corner before moving to untie the ropes holding her to the chair.

“I’m sure that bladder of yours is screaming for relief,” Yurgin commented. “And we certainly don’t want to have to deal with the mess of you wetting yourself. My friend here is going to escort you to ensuite facilities.”

With her arms still tied together behind her back, the guard yanked her up roughly and led her to the small bucket in the corner.

“Do I at least get some privacy?”

His reply was a blank stare, but it was clear the answer was no. With great difficulty, she managed to move her underwear to the side, doing her best to pretend that she wasn’t being watched as she relieved herself.

It was beyond degrading and humiliating. Her face was flushed red from equal parts anger and embarrassment, but she did her best to hide it. They weren’t going to see her crumble over something like this. They weren’t going to break her.

When she was finished, she was grabbed roughly on her forearm and led back to the chair.

“What, no morning walk?” she deadpanned as the guard tied her back up.

To her surprise, Yurgin actually grinned. “You’re a spitfire, that’s for sure.”

“And I’d say you’re far too charismatic to have me tied to a chair, but then again, someone in your position needs to have charm, I suppose. Can’t have people willing to risk their lives for you if you're a complete ass.”

“My attitude certainly helps, but let’s be very clear, Ms. Knope. They aren’t dying for me. They’re dying for the cause.”

“I’m still not 100% clear on what that cause is. This great cause that has claimed the lives of my people as well as yours.”

He clenched his fist at his side. “We’re taking back what’s ours. I knew we had to do more than just try to wreak havoc and then run away scared with our tails between our legs. This will be the greatest display of Eagletonian power. We’re reclaiming the land that is rightfully ours and putting you Pawneeans in your place.”

“That will never happen,” she said through clenched teeth.

“But it already has. Your country is in shambles, scrambling around knowing that their leader is long gone. We’ve weakened you and now all we have to do is swoop in.”

“Then if you have it all figured out, what do you need me for? You said I’m the final piece of your puzzle. You want my cooperation, but for what?”

Yurgin sighed and waved his hand in the air. “You know how these things are. Always have an easy way or a hard way. The easy way is that you agree to publicly surrender. We have equipment set up here that can easily tap into your network broadcasting. You surrender to us, it might save your life, Ben’s, and many of your citizens.”

“You really are a fool if you think I’d ever agree to that.”

He didn’t seem at all fazed by her refusal. “Then, you have the alternative. Without your official surrender, we go to war, thousands of your citizens die, and we still get what we want. To kick it off, we kill both you and Ben and broadcast the feed live. Your people will see right away who they are dealing with. Either way, I win. It’s your choice how this plays out.”

“There is no choice. I will never surrender to you.”

“So you say, but you are all cowards with your own selfish weaknesses. You know we’ll win. We’ve gotten so deep into your government, there is no way you can outsmart us. And don’t think I don’t know what you are capable of when you want to save your own skin. Or Benji’s for that matter.”

Her eyes widened against her will at the mention of Ben.

“What you heard before?” he continued. “That was nothing compared to the lengths we are willing to go to. He’s your selfish weakness, Knope. I know you aren’t that stupid. You must know that the first option is best for everyone.”

She ground her teeth and her nostrils flared. “How can I even trust that you’ll do as you say if I even _do_ agree?”

“Hmm, I guess you don’t. But every day that your answer is no, Benji’s punishment will get worse and worse. You’ll hear him screaming in unimaginable pain all because of you. You have seven days until we air the live broadcast to make your final decision. There, you will either surrender Pawnee over to us, or have the last thing you see be your boyfriend shot in the head. Can you imagine? Not one but two live assassinations. I’m getting tingly just thinking about it.”

Leslie felt sick to her stomach at Yurgin’s obvious glee. He knew he had her. Either way, she would lose.

But she would never agree to his terms. If she had to die, so be it.

She raised her chin defiantly. “My answer is still no.”

He sighed airily. “Oh, well, that’s certainly a shame. I’m not sure Benji is fully recovered from yesterday’s visit to endure another one.” He shrugged. “But, what can you do? Don’t worry, we’ll make sure to let him know it’s all your fault.”

“Please, don’t hurt him anymore. It won’t change my mind, so just leave him alone.”

“It’s that reaction that makes me think it just might change your mind.” He shook his head when the guard moved to replace the gag. “No, leave it off. I want both of them to be able to hear each other.”

He really was a sick bastard.

“Now don’t fret. You still have seven days to change your mind, and you can do so at any time. All you have to do is yell.” He actually winked at her before turning his back and walking away, the steady thump of his large, combat boots echoing around the cell.

She was making the right decision, there was no denying that. But what good was that to her? In one week, she’d be dead and her country thrown into a war with its oldest rival. For the next seven days, she’d have to endure hearing the sounds of the love of her life being beaten and tortured.

Yes, it was the right decision. She just hoped that Ben could forgive her for making it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on Tumblr at benwyattforcongress


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back to Ben's POV. Please be warned that there are some depictions of violence and torture. I tried not to overdo it, but it's still here.

_He smiled the crooked smile that had haunted Ben’s nightmares for twenty years. “I am the boss, and we’re going to have so much fun with you.”_

  
_Pawnee/Eagleton Border_

_1993_

“Seriously, Benji, just make a move already.”

“Would you chill out? I’m thinking.”

Jimmy leaned back and smirked. “It ain’t helping you, dude. Stop being a pussy and just do it.”

Ben’s hand hovered over the chessboard, flitting nervously over several pieces.

“Jesus Christ, man,” Jimmy barked out a laugh. “It’s just a game. Not the fucking world chess championship.”

Ben looked up and squinted. “You’re only saying that because you’re winning.”

“You’re right. Now, hurry up and make your move so I can go ahead and finish the game.”

Ben finally chose his piece, actually fairly confident in his move. “Ha, take that, Yurgin.”

The other young man simply grinned. “Not too shabby, Wyatt. But, unfortunately for you,” he says, reaching for his black knight, “it just wasn’t good enough. Checkmate.”

“Damn it. You and your fucking knight.” He moved to run his hands through his hair, still not used to its short crew cut. “I don’t know how you do it every single time.”

“What can I say?” Jimmy shrugged. “It’s my signature move. You’re just upset because you still can’t beat me.”

“I’ll beat you one of these days. You just wait.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. You’re all talk, Benji. Just admit it. I’m better than you and always will be better than you. There’s no shame in embracing your fate.” He laughed and held up his favored black knight. “And as long as I have this guy right here, I’m impossible to defeat.”

Ben side eyed him and shook his head. “What the hell is your deal with that anyway? How many other pieces are on the board, and you insist on using your knight as your final move like 90% of the time.”

“I told you, it’s my signature. Besides, out of every piece on there, this one is the most unique. Sure, the queen can basically move wherever the fuck she wants, but that just makes it too easy. This guy though, he’s special, sneaky. He’s the only one that can jump over other pieces completely, either taking them out or ignoring them altogether. He'll come when you least expect."

Ben smirked and raised his eyebrow. "Should I leave you two alone? Need some privacy to jerk off to a chess piece?"

Jimmy's eyes flashed and he threw the piece at a laughing Ben. "Shut the fuck up, man," he grinned. "Don't make me kick your ass."

"Oh yeah? Do I have to remind you who kicked your ass the last time we trained in hand to hand combat?"

"Whatever. You're just lucky that you're scrawny and fast. Like a weasel or something."

"A weasel?" Ben guffawed. "Seriously, that's the best you got?"

"I call it like I see it. Besides, I might not have brawn, but I have brains." He tapped his forehead. "This is my real weapon. You might beat me in a fight, but I'll outsmart you every time."

Ben just shook his head. "You're nuts, man, you know that?"

Jimmy gave Ben a dark smile. "You have no idea." His gaze shifted to look over Ben's shoulder, outside the tent. "Killnose is walking back and forth like a caged rat. How much you wanna bet he's gonna spring a surprise drill on us soon?"

Ben turned around and shrugged, his eyes following his pacing commander. "Who knows. Either way, it's our turn to stay behind. Good thing, too. It's hotter than hell out."

"You'd be on com duty, right?" Jimmy asked.

"Yup. I'd barely have time to grab a bite from the mess tent before heading over." Ben turned back to Jimmy and found him staring off into space, thinking. "You okay, dude? Penny for your thoughts."

Jimmy flinched and his eyes refocused. "Ha, yeah right. These thoughts are worth a hell of a lot more than that."

"Sure, man, if you say so."

"Gather 'round, ladies and gentleman." Killnose's voice boomed. "It's drill time."

"Told ya," Jimmy winked.

Ben rolled his eyes and stood up. "You coming," he called to Jimmy over his shoulder.

"Uh, yeah. I'll be along. I just gotta go check something out."

"Alright. I'll see you around."

Jimmy didn’t respond.

~~~~~

_Unknown Location_

_Present Day_

The memory slammed into Ben so forcefully he gasped like a drowning man breaking the surface of the water.

He was still trying to wrap his brain around the fact that Jimmy had orchestrated this entire scheme. From the letters to the shooting, the bombing to the raid on the safe house--it was all because of Yurgin.

And just like before, he had missed it. It was so _obvious_ to him now, further proof that hindsight really was 20/20. Further proof that it all might have been prevented if he had just _payed attention_.

He had repressed so many of his memories surrounding ICE Town out of his mind’s instinct to preserve itself, preserve that last, thin thread of sanity. But now that he knew, it really did seem fitting, in its own way. He had almost ended Ben’s life all those years ago, and he would be the one to actually end it now.

He had been taunting him from the beginning, in ways Ben hadn’t even realized. This was personal to Yurgin, throwing their teenage friendship in his face. Everything to him had been nothing more than an elaborate game, a battle of wits spanning twenty years, and it was a game that Ben had lost.

And in that moment, he ached for Jimmy, despite everything. He ached for the young man who had so much promise, who had been a friend to him when he needed it as a fresh faced young man in a scary new world.

But he wasn’t Jimmy anymore. Maybe the Jimmy he’d known never really existed. Either way, this man, this James Yurgin, had once destroyed his life, and now he had come back to finish the job.

Ben continued to sit in silence, ignoring the ache in his shoulder. The dull throbbing seemed so inconsequential in the grand scheme of things.

There was no doubt in Ben’s mind the kind of “fun” they had in store for him. As a military officer, it was something that was always put forth as a possibility, even more so once he started in intelligence.

He could only hope that Yurgin was being truthful and that Leslie was still alive and unharmed. There was no indication as to what these “plans” were, but he prayed that it didn’t involve laying a finger on her.

He would gladly take any punishment in her place, endure any kind of torture imaginable if it meant that she went untouched.

His fear that they were with Leslie was confirmed when her screaming voice seeped into the cell. There was a rush of relief that he could hear her, that she was alive, but it was mixed with the terror of not knowing what was happening to her.

Without thinking, he responded with screams of his own, desperate cries of her name so that she would know that he was there with her. She must have heard him because her screams soon took the form of his name before they stopped completely.

Her forced silence only served to fuel his rage. He screamed and cursed things that would have made his foul-mouthed, former commanding officer blush. If anything, he wanted to divert their attention back to him. The more time they spent shutting him up, the less they had with Leslie.

He knew his plan was successful when he heard the click of the lock opening and Yurgin and his sidekick walked back into the cell.

“You certainly are a loud dog in his cage, aren’t you, Benji?” Yurgin commented as he walked towards him.

“Fuck you.”

Yurgin feigned a gasp of shock. “You Pawneans. Always so crass.” He walked slowly in a circle around Ben’s chair, eyeing him up and down. “You know, you look a lot better than I thought you would, you know, after I tried to kill you. Still got a face, at least.”

“You son of a bitch!” Ben screamed and thrashed against his restraints. “You fucking ruined my life and you’re gonna say that shit to me?”

“You lived,” Yurgin hissed, moving inches from Ben’s face. “You lived when you weren’t supposed to. That’s a hell of a lot more than you deserved. You more than lived. You thrived. You think you would have gotten half as far as you did if it wasn’t for me? You’d be some two-bit government drone if it wasn’t for what I did to you.”

“You’re sick.”

Yurgin stood up straight, turning around to walk back towards his companion. “You know,” he said, completely ignoring Ben’s comment, “word on the street is that you had a birthday recently. Turns out we crashed your party. A pity, really. It might have been you’re last one, so you should at least have gotten to enjoy it.”

“Might have been? Makes it sound like there’s a chance I’ll leave here alive.”

“Oh, there’s always a possibility. That really depends on your girlfriend.”

Ben narrowed his eyes at the pair, ever-so-briefly imagining his hands tightening around Yurgin’s throat. “If you think you can use me as a bargaining piece, you’re wrong. If it comes down to me or her, you let her go.”

“Oh, Benji,” Yurgin laughed, “trust me, I know you two are a packaged deal. Let’s just say that I have a little proposition for her, that if she accepts, can spare both of your lives.”

Ben clenched his jaw and spoke through gritted teeth. “She will never make any kind of deal with you. Not for anything in the world.”

“Not even for you? Well, that sounds rather unromantic.”

“This is bigger than us. She knows I’d never forgive her if she sacrificed anything to save me.”

“Does she, though? She seems rather smitten with you. But even if you’re right, we have ways of helping her...have a change of heart.” He turned to look at the large man at his side. “We made a promise to Ms. Knope about what would happen if she screamed, and I never go back on a promise. I think it’s time Benji got his birthday present.”

A twisted smile formed on the silent man’s face, the first time Ben saw him display any kind of emotion.

The man actually cracked his knuckles as he walked over to him, and Ben might have found the situation hilariously cliche if it wasn’t for the hateful, menacing look being directed his way. He took a deep breath and braced himself. He wasn’t going to show weakness, he wasn’t going to let them draw a single cry of pain from him. He knew they wanted Leslie hear him, and he wasn’t going to do that to her, wasn't going to give them the satisfaction.

The first blow to his stomach knocked the wind out of him, and he barely had time to recover before a fist slammed into him again. He pressed his lips together tight, muffling the moan that came involuntarily.

He expected the next hit to once again be in his abdomen, so when a fist collided with his face, he was wholly unprepared. His neck snapped to the right and his jaw felt like it was on fire, blood spraying onto the floor.

The metallic taste invaded his tastebuds, and he gagged as the liquid trickled down his throat. The next hit came and a cry left his lips before he could stop it, and the next, and the next. He thought his body was used to pain, but it could never really get used to something like this.

The punches alternated between his face and body, wherever his tormenter decided to strike. He was fairly certain that at least one of his ribs was broken, so despite his overwhelming desire to keep silent, his screams grew louder and louder with every blow until his throat became raw.

The blood that trickled down his nose and mouth tickled his skin as his body became weaker and weaker, his assailant now having to hold Ben’s head up by his hair to keep his chin from slumping against his chest.

Yurgin never once touched him. He stood off to the side and watched, his eyes focused and concentrated. There wasn’t a look of sadistic pleasure on his face like his sidekick, which surprised Ben. Through his haze, he at least expected to see Yurgin enjoying finally exacting his revenge, but that look never came.

He wasn’t sure if what he saw instead disturbed him even more.

Ben didn’t know how long it had lasted, but finally Yurgin held up his hand and his sidekick immediately stopped. With a look of satisfaction, he clenched and unclenched his own bloodied fist and stepped away.

Ben’s breath was labored, painful due to the damage to his ribs, and he felt consciousness slowly slipping away from him

Yurgin walked over and once again bent over to be eye-level with him. “Good job, Benji. You really tried to hold out there, but I’m pretty sure your pitiful screams did the trick. Maybe Ms. Knope will be receptive to my offer now that she’s heard the consequences of her actions. What do you think?”

Ben stared at him, his whole body shaking under strain of breathing. Using his last ounce of energy, he took a deep breath and spit blood in Yurgin’s face.

To his credit, Yurgin barely flinched. He blinked slowly, his face remaining neutral, and pulled out a handkerchief from his front pocket to wipe at the blood and spit on his cheek.

“Well, I can’t say I’m surprised by your reaction given the circumstances.” He stands up and pockets the cloth. “Now, my associate here is quite good at his job, and knows the exact places to target that cause the most pain, as I’m sure you can attest to. It appears that you have a mild concussion, so don’t expect to stay conscious for much longer. Let’s hope for your sake that the next time we see each other, Ms. Knope has agreed to our terms.”

The pair turned and left without another word, Ben losing consciousness before the cell door closed behind them.

~~~~~

A splash of water to the face jerked him awake. Every cell in his body screamed in pain, and he wanted nothing more than to fall back into blissful oblivion. But before he had the chance, a rough hand pushed his head backwards.

"This is your morning wake up call, Benji," Yurgin’s now familiar voice said. "Too bad we had to waste your water ration on it."

At the mention of water, Ben's throat constricted and it felt like his mouth was filled with sand. Ben looked at Yurgin through the one eye that wasn't completely swollen shut, but said nothing.

"Oof," Yurgin grimaced, "you're not looking too hot there, Wyatt."

He tried to open his mouth to say something back, but it only made the pain in his jaw worse.

"Yeah, I wouldn’t move that jaw around too much of I were you. I expect it to be sore for quite some time.”

“Yeah, well,” Ben gritted out, “I’ve had worse.”

Yurgin crouched down in front of Ben and stared at him so intently it started to unnerve him. “You have, haven’t you?” His voice wasn’t threatening or mocking, but oddly sincere.

Ben swallowed thickly and stared right back. “So, where’s your sidekick?”

Yurgin waved his hand absently behind him. “Oh, you know, he’s off doing other things. I don’t need him just yet. I wanted to take this opportunity and have a little chat.”

Ben stiffened in his chair. “I told you, I’m not telling you anything, so you can save your breath.”

“Oh, no, nothing like that. Just a civilized conversation between old friends.”

“There’s nothing we have to talk about.”

“Now, I wouldn’t say that. I’m sure there are a lot of questions you have for me.”

He was right. Ben had a million questions. Questions about ICE Town, questions about how he was able to orchestrate everything so elaborately, so perfectly, but he wasn’t about to ask them. He wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of gloating.

Unfortunately, he didn’t have to ask.

“Well, I know you’re probably too prideful to say anything, but that certainly won’t stop me. Maybe it is a bit cliche and reminiscent of a James Bond villain, but you do know how I love to brag.”

“You’ve won,” Ben replied in a defeated tone. “You always win. What more do you want from me?”

“I want the satisfaction of seeing you realize your loss. I want to be the one to show you just exactly how you failed.” He stood up and started pacing. “You know, I will give credit where it’s due. You’re a lot smarter than I last remember. You caught on faster than I had anticipated.”

“Didn’t matter though, did it?”

“Oh, no of course not,” Yurgin said dismissively, “but I can still say I’m impressed. And if it’s any consolation, you were right. You were right about Joe, for example. He was nothing more than a little, expendable pawn. He served his purpose and then-”

“And then you had him killed,” Ben spat.

Yurgin turned to him without a single ounce of remorse in his eyes. “Yes, I did. He was weak and a liability to us, so his suicide was staged.” A slow smile spread on his face. “But I don’t need to tell you that, do I? You saw right through that set up.”

“And then you killed off the guard that killed Joe. Just going around covering up your tracks.”

“Brilliantly, you must admit. Even when you were able figured out our surveillance tape cover up, there was no way to link it back to anyone. Every move so far has been absolutely perfect.”

“Not every one,” Ben said. “That day in the park, your sniper failed. Leslie survived.”

Ben jumped at Yurgin’s loud, boisterous laugh. “Oh, Benji. Just when I think you’re catching up, you fall ten steps back. Do you honestly think that if we wanted her dead, she wouldn’t be?”

“Don’t try to save face, Yurgin. Your sniper botched it up.”

“My sniper was one of the most brilliant sharpshooters I have ever seen. Think about it, Benji. Think about how you were even able to notice him at all. You must remember the number one rule?”

Ben wracked his brain, calling back to his years of military training. “Of course,” he whispered to himself and slammed his back against the seat in anger. “The focus. He took the cover off of the focus too soon. You knew that--” He stared up at a grinning Yurgin with wide eyes. “It was me. You were trying to shoot me. You were counting on me seeing him and-”

“And protecting Leslie. Yes, that’s exactly it. Whether you lived or died at that point was of no consequence. We knew once the attempt happened, she’d be hidden away and we’d have a better chance of getting to her directly.”

“But how? How were you able to organize it so quickly. The park wasn’t meant to open for months.”

The pacing started again, but Yurgin’s smug grin never faded. “But the date got moved up because of a generous donation by someone who desired to remain anonymous.” He stopped to turn and take a bow. “Some of the best money I ever spent.”

Ben was speechless. He wanted to think that if he just had a little more time, he would have figured it out, but he had been so wrong. It was just like when they were 18-year-olds playing chess in their bunk. Nothing changed.

“You know,” Yurgin continued, oblivious to Ben’s inner turmoil, “I gotta say though, I’m a little miffed that you never connected it to me. I mean I practically gave you a business card-”

“The black knight,” Ben said quietly and hung his head. “I know. I remember all that now. I didn’t for the longest time. I blocked out a lot of that day, but I remember.”

“I was always outsmarting you, wasn’t I?”

Ben raised his eyes and glared at Yurgin. “How much of this was about me? All of these mind games and tricks to get to Leslie. How much of it was because of me?”

He shrugged and sighed. “When this was all being put into place, I must admit that I had hoped you would get called in. After all, you were one of the top intelligence officers specializing in Border security. I wanted you. You were the only one worthy enough to be my opponent.”

He wasn’t sure why, but all of a sudden their final exchange nearly twenty years ago flashed again in his mind. The far off and conflicted look he gave Ben when he asked where he’d be during the drill. He was planning his attack, yes, but it was more than that.

“It was you,” Ben whispered to himself. “At ICE Town, it was you.”

“I think we’ve established that, Benji,” Yurgin snorted.

“No, not the bomb. I mean, you’re the only reason I’m still alive, aren’t you?”

Yurgin stopped his pacing, frozen in place, but refused to look over at Ben.

“It was you, wasn’t it?” Ben urged. “I always wondered why I was the only one left alive. Why everyone else was either killed by the blast or shot after the fact. You asked me where I’d be so you could detonate the bomb without me being in the mess tent.” He took a sharp breath as his mind connected the faded memories together. “You-you told them I was already dead so they wouldn’t shoot me. All this time I thought it was either a mistake or they wanted to leave someone behind to take the blame, but that wasn’t it. You let me live, didn’t you?”

“I was weak,” Yurgin hissed. “I was young and weak and I paid for my mistake. I won’t be making it again. I thought there was hope for you, you know. You really were brilliant. I thought maybe I could make you see the truth, convince you to join our cause, but you were too loyal, even then. And now, you’re going to pay for that loyalty.”

“Then why aren’t I dead yet?”

“I told you, you’re my leverage, and unfortunately for you, I didn’t just come in here to take trips down memory lane. Your president has 7 days to make a very important decision, and for each day she refuses, you pay the consequences.”

“And if she still says no?”

“Then you both die. You’ll die and we will declare war and take back what’s ours. Either way, we’ll win. But let’s hope for everyone’s sake that she cooperates.”

“She won’t.”

Yurgin narrowed his eyes at him. “And you’re fine with that? You’re willing to die for nothing more than a lost cause?”

Ben raised his head as high as he could, squaring his aching jaw defiantly. “Yes.”

Yurgin looked over his shoulder and his right-hand man walked through, almost as if he was waiting at the door to enter at the right moment. He didn’t come empty handed this time-- clutched in his right fist was a large, black police baton.

Walking behind him, the man knelt down and started untying the rope that secured Ben’s wrists together behind his back, only to retie them in the front. Next, he worked on the rope holding him to the chair.

Ben was hoisted up like a ragdoll, and for the first time, he noticed a large hook hanging from the ceiling. His bound hands were forced above his head and hung securely on the hook. Even though it was low enough for his feet to touch the ground, his body was too weak to fully support itself. His shoulders throbbed from bearing the brunt of his weight as the tops of his shins grazed the ground.

Yurgin’s nameless companion stared at him, tapping the baton rhythmically against his own thigh.

When he raised it into the air, Ben closed his eyes and prepared himself for the first strike.

~~~~~~

He was dead. He had to be.

That was the only explanation as to why he no longer felt like dying--why for the first time in days he felt no pain.

His torture had been relentless, each day a new form of abuse that left him lifeless on the ground, bruised and bloodied and praying for death.

But now, now it felt like he was lying on the softest bed imaginable, his head pillowed by clouds, and he kept his eyes closed fearing he'd lose it all once he opened them.

Was this what heaven was like? Had God finally taken pity on him and put him out of his misery?

When ten small fingers ran through his hair in a gentle massage and a familiar voice softly hummed to him, he knew it had to be an angel. His lips quirked up in a contented smile as her nails scratched his scalp.

“What are you smiling at?” the voice lightly teased, a finger moving to bop him on the nose.

His grin only grew wider. “This is the best I’ve felt in a very long time. I’m allowed to enjoy death, aren’t I?”

She ruffled his hair and laughed. “You aren’t dead, silly. Why don’t you open your eyes and I’ll show you?”

“Nope,” he shook his head indignantly. “If I’m not dead, I don’t want to open my eyes and wake up.”

“You won’t, I promise. Would you just open you your eyes? For me?”

He could never, not even now, refuse her anything. He slowly opened his eyes on by one and saw Leslie’s smiling face hovering over him.

“That wasn’t so bad was it?”

She was dressed in a flowing, white gown, her hair in soft curls framing her face. He reached for her but stopped himself a few inches away, afraid to touch her, to contaminate her.

“You can touch me, you know.” She grabbed his hand and brought it to her cheek. “See? I am very much real.

His fingers curled around her jawline, the feel of her invading his senses. “I must be in heaven,” he whispered to her, “and you’re my angel.”

She shook her head, her smile turning wistful. “No, but I almost wish that was true.”

For the first time, Ben looked around and noticed the grassy fields and the tall, healthy trees. “Where are we, then?”

She lifted her head and a breeze blew her hair away from her face. Her smile once again turned joyful as she took in the scenery. “We’re at one of my favorite places ever in Ramsett Park. I used to love coming here as a kid. It’s the best place to sit and think and just enjoy nature, and I wanted to show it to you. I haven’t been here in a really long time.”

“It’s beautiful.”

She just nodded and then her lower lip started to tremble. Soon, Ben felt tiny drops of her tears drip down onto him.

“Hey,” he reached up and dragged his thumb across her cheek. “What are the tears for?”

“I just,” she sniffled, “I really wanted to take you here one day. When all of this was over and done with and we could go out together on dates and do things like normal people.”

“I don’t think we could ever be quite like normal people.”

That earned him a fleeting smile. “Well, as normal as we could possibly be. There are so many things I wanted to do with you, and now,” she wiped at her eyes, “now we won’t ever get to do them.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Yes, I do,” she shot back and her voice cracked. “And you do, too. I can’t give them what they want. I can’t--” She put her face in her hands and started sobbing. “I can’t save you.”

He finally sat up and turned to pull her into his arms. She clung to him tightly, grasping at the back of his shirt trying to be as close to him as possible as she cried into his neck.

“I’m so sorry,” she gasped. “I’m so sorry I can’t save you. Can you ever forgive me?”

“Shhh, it’s okay,” he soothed, running his hands over her hand and down her back. “None of this is your fault. I don’t blame you, not even the slightest bit. There’s nothing to even forgive. You’re doing what we know you have to do.”

“My only consolation is that they’ll kill me too. I know I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. I can hear you, you know. I can hear everything that they’re doing to you and I wish it was me. I just wish I was dead and this was all over.”

He pulled away from her sharply and cradled her face in his hands, forcing her to meet his eyes. “Don’t you dare say that again, okay. Don’t you ever think that you deserve this or that your life isn’t worth living because I’m not in it. Please, you have to promise me you’ll do whatever you can to make it, to fight. You have to fight for me and for everyone back home and for Pawnee. Do you hear me?”

“It doesn’t matter. If I don’t give them what they want they’re going to kill me. My death will be the start of war. I’m scared, Ben. I don’t know what to do.”

He folded her back into his arms. “I’m so sorry.” It was his turn to apologize. “I’m sorry I failed you. Yurgin was playing me this entire time, and I just wasn’t good enough to catch on. If I was, maybe we would have figured this out sooner and we wouldn’t be here. If anything, this is all my fault. The most important job in the world and I failed.”

“If none of this is my fault, then it certainly isn’t yours,” she said, her voice muffled by his shirt. “You did everything that you could possibly do.” She pulled away and smiled sadly. “I guess this was just what was meant to be.”

They both sat there, neither one sure what to say or do. Ben began pulling at blades of grass and tearing them into pieces, anything to keep his hands occupied while Leslie stared blankly ahead of her.

“What would we do?” he finally asked, breaking the silence.

She turned to him and blinked. “What?”

“You said you’ve always wanted to bring me here, have a real day out like normal people. Tell me what we would’ve done.”

A pained expression crossed her face and she slowly shook her head. “Ben, I don’t-”

“Please. I-” he swallowed and took a deep breath, “I don’t know how much time I have left here, wherever this is, and I just want to spend it with you, hearing your voice and imagining everything I wish we could have done together.”

He could see the conflict in her eyes before she finally gave in. “Okay.” She patted her lap and Ben laid his head back down, sighing when she started running her hands through his hair again. “Well, in this scenario you’ve already gotten a huge promotion and are living in the Capital City, but you spent the night at my place, and I made waffles for breakfast, of course.”

“Of course,” he agreed with a smirk. “So, I stayed the night at your place, we had amazing morning sex, then you made waffles. What next?”

She looked down and raised her eyebrow. “I never said anything about morning sex.”

“It was implied.”

“Oh, was it?”

“Yes, now keep going.”

She chuckled and continued her story. “Okay, so spent the night, amazing sex, waffles….right, so after we get ready-”

“By sharing a shower-”

“Who’s telling this story, Ben, me or you?”

“Continue.”

“So after we get ready, we stop by the kitchens and J.J. packed a picnic lunch to take with us on our day out.”

“That was nice of him,” Ben hummed.

“Yes, it was very nice of him. He’s wonderful. Anyway, so we get our picnic basket--and before you interrupt again, yes he put it in a real picnic basket because this is my fantasy and I can do what I want.”

Ben chuckled and turned to press a quick kiss to Leslie’s leg while her hands still ghost through his hair.

“We take our picnic basket and drive out to Ramsett Park. We hold hands and go for a long, lazy walk, and I show you all of my favorite spots. I’d show you the swingset where I first jumped out of the seat mid-air when I was nine, and then you insist I sit on it and you push me so high I feel like I’m flying. I’d point out all of the different types of trees and all of the different places where they have special events and deep down you don’t care all that much but you indulge me because you love me and let me ramble.

“I’d show you the spot where I got my first kiss and you pretend to not be a little jealous but I know you are because you give me a great big kiss right there. I’d take you to the tree where Ann and I vowed to be best friends and I carved our initials into the trunk. By this point, we’re both tired and hungry so I take you here, to my favorite spot.”

She stopped and Ben heard her sniffle quietly. He looked up and saw her staring out into space again while she wiped a hand across her eyes.

“Then what?” he said softly, prodding her to continue with the fantasy that was everything he could have ever dreamed of.

She took a deep, shuddering breath. “Then we eat lunch and talk about anything and everything we could possibly think of. Some of it’s dark and serious, but some of it’s just fun, goofy nonsense.” She moved her fingers out of his hair and ran them over the contours of his face. “I’d tell you how much I love you and that I can’t imagine my life without you anymore. I’d say that you’re one of the best things to possibly happen to me, and even though we had to go through so much to get here, it was all worth it if it meant I got to be with you.”

There was a brief moment of silence before Ben sat himself up and turned to Leslie. He picked up her now limp hands and kissed away the tears she was allowing to freely fall . “Do you know what I’d say to you?” he whispered against her cheek.

She shook her head.

“I’d tell you that my life was meaningless until I met you. That you taught me how to love again, not only how to love another person, but I’m slowly learning that it’s okay to love myself, too. You didn’t try to fix me, you just loved me. I’d say that I didn’t know it was possible to love someone this much, and no matter how many times you tell me I’m wrong, I know I’m not good enough for you. But I couldn’t let you go, even if I tried, and I know that makes me selfish, but I don’t care.”

He pulled away just enough to look into her eyes. “I’d tell you that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. And some day--not today or tomorrow--but someday, I’ll ask you. I don’t know where, when, or how, but I will.”

Her face crumbled, but before she could respond to him, he kissed her. He kissed her because he couldn’t bear to see the misery on her face anymore. He kissed her because they would never get their perfect day together, kissed her because it very well might be the last chance he had. He still didn’t really know where he was, what he was doing here. It wasn’t real, it couldn’t be, but that didn’t stop him--didn’t make it _feel_ any less real.

The kiss was desperate, filled with anguish and longing. They conveyed everything they could to one another through that kiss, everything that they just couldn’t say out loud.

It was every kiss they would be missing in their future. It was the kiss they would share after their first real date, it was the dozens of tiny kisses he would pepper across her face after their first night spent together outside of the cabin. It was their first public kiss given after a particularly inspiring speech, Leslie proudly claiming him as hers in front of the nation.

It was the kiss she’d give him after throwing her arms around him and screaming “Yes, of course I’ll marry you”, the kiss that would seal them as man and wife, the kiss that he’d give her after staring down at their newborn child.

It was all of these and so many, many more. It was everything that was being stolen away from them.

Their lips broke apart as they gasped for air, but Leslie refused to release her desperate grip on him. She burrowed her face into the crook of his neck and shivered.

God, she felt so real in his arms, so solid and warm. He could feel the way her nose brushed against the sensitive skin on his neck, could smell the faint traces of shampoo in her hair.

“I never want to let you go,” she said with a whimper.

“Then don’t. We can stay here forever, just you and me.”

When she finally pulled away, the look on her face scared him. He had never seen her look so broken, so defeated. “No,” she shook her head sadly, “we can’t. You have to wake up.”

At those words, an overwhelming sense of panic came over him. His hands started to shake and his breaths were harder and harder to come by. If he woke up, he’d never see her again, and that alone was a fate worse than death.

“No, please,” he begged on the verge of tears, “please don’t make. I don’t want to wake up.”

She reached out and cupped his cheek. “I know you don’t, but you have to. Just promise me you’ll be strong, okay? Promise me.”

“Leslie, please, I can’t-”

“Yes, you can.” Her voice was firmer now, leaving no room for arguments. “You need to be strong and just wake up.”

And like that, she was gone.

~~~~~

He groaned when he felt a hand quickly hitting his face. It wasn’t the same strong and destructive hand that he had become accustomed to over the last several days, but a softer, gentler one.

He still tried to ignore it.

He tried to hold onto the remnants of unconsciousness, tried to will his way back to Leslie and his dreams, but when he felt every nerve ending catch fire, felt the familiar pain that coursed through every inch of his body, he knew it was too late.

And that damn, incessant slapping on his face.

“Please, wake up. You have to get up.”

At first, he thought it was just an echo from his dream, it had to be. There was no other way to explain that voice, but when it repeated itself as the hand kept smacking against his cheek, his heart lurched in his chest.

“L-L-Le,” he tried to rasp out, but he was in too much pain to form words.

The voice let out a sob of relief, and the slapping quickly turned into a gentle caress. “Yeah, sweetheart, it’s me.”

But it made no sense. He was back in his cell, the pain and the cold feel of the cement on his back told him as much, and yet here she was, coaxing him out of his sleep.

He struggled to form a question, his eyes still closed and heavy, but she shushed him with a finger over his mouth. “I know you’re confused, and I promise I will explain everything to you, but I need you to open your eyes. Please?”

She sounded so broken and desperate that he used every ounce of energy to force his swollen eyes open, even just a fraction. He was rewarded with the sight of Leslie leaning over him, her hands still on his cheeks and a brilliant smile on her face. “Hey. You wouldn’t wake up and you had me so scared.”

He tried to smile back, but his chapped, bloodied lips wouldn’t budge, so he just continued to stare, to drink her in instead of wrack his brain as to how any of this was possible. He honestly thought he’d never see her again.

A hushed voice from the door interrupted them. “President Knope, please, we need to hurry and get him out of here.”

Ben turned towards the door, but between the glaring light and his damaged eyes, he could only make out a large blur.

Leslie nodded at the blur then turned back Ben. “Just hold on for me, okay? We're gonna get you out of here."

 

  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another cliffhanger! We'll find out more about this mystery man and more in the next chapter from Leslie's POV.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just when things look their worst, help comes from the most unlikely of sources

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's taken me so long! This chapter is a little on the short side, but I wanted to give you guys something.

This was a new kind of numbness.

This was a numbness where the greasy strands of hair falling into her face didn’t bother her anymore, where the stench from the bucket in the corner no longer invaded her nose.

A numbness where Ben’s screams and groans stopped causing her to flinch, to scream in protest, to cry herself to sleep.

Her heart still clenched at every whimper, at every cry of her name from his lips, but it wasn’t even close to what she had been feeling, what she should be feeling. She had shut down, her mind now as lifeless as her body. It wasn’t all that shocking, that she would retreat into herself in order to preserve whatever sanity she had left, but it was still something she’d never thought she’d ever have to experience.

Those first few days were truly torture. She could only imagine the horrors happening in the neighboring cell--and she did. Her nightmares were filled with every gruesome scene conceivable, the now all too familiar sound of Ben’s screams replaying over and over again in her dreams.

In some, she was off to the side, frozen and powerless to stop his suffering. In others-- the ones that caused her to wake up screaming and covered in sweat-- she was the one inflicting the pain. She was the one beating him over and over again or whipping him within an inch of his life.

In these dreams, he hated her, blamed her, cursed her name into oblivion for what she was doing to him. But there was also the look of betrayal, the shock that someone he loved could cause him so much agony.

And even after she woke up, after she realized that none of it was real, the guilt never left. She might not be the one wielding the weapons, but his blood was still on her hands.

So now there was only the numbness, the nothingness that she felt inside. She had tried fighting, tried negotiating, tried everything she could think of, but it all failed. All she could do now was wait to die.

If her father could see her now, he'd be so ashamed. Ashamed of her failure, and even more so, ashamed that she had given up hope.

But there was no hope, maybe there never was to begin with, but there certainly wasn't any now. When the week was up, she would be dead. Possibly along with everyone else that she loved.

She could only hold onto the belief that she was doing the right thing. That even without her, her country--her people had a fighting chance. Too bad she'll never know for sure.

Yurgin and his lackey still made daily visits, like clockwork coming in to make sure her basic needs were met just enough to keep her alive. Every day the same routine, the same questions, and everyday she gave the same answer.

They know they've broken her, she could see the hopeful glint in Yurgin’s eye, but she still wouldn’t give them what they wanted.

But better the numbness consume her, better that than the choking grief she had been feeling. The choking grief that they were hoping to use to their benefit and get her to agree to their terms.

If it was any consolation, she finally understood Ben just a little more. Sometimes it's better to just feel nothing at all, to completely detach from everything around you. It didn’t hurt this way.

Another scream echoed into her cell and she didn't blink.

~~~~~

Leslie almost didn’t register it at first. It wasn’t until the door was opened completely and the faint light stung her eyes that she even looked up. To say she was surprised would be an understatement. The opening and closing of that door was on a strict schedule, one that she had easily memorized in the past few days, but this was definitely new.

What shocked her even more was the fact that instead of the usual two figures, it was just the one--and not the one she would have expected.

The large man walked towards her after closing the cell door and Leslie instinctively recoiled against her chair like a caged, wounded animal. He wasn’t supposed to be here, she kept thinking to herself. Him being here _alone_ couldn’t be a good sign.

He knelt down in front of her, studying her for a moment, before he attempted to untie the bonds on her feet. She jerked them away.

“What are you doing?” she demanded in a sickly, raspy voice. “Don’t touch me.”

The man’s usually cold, stoney face softened. “Please, we don’t have much time.” This was the first time she had ever heard him speak. His voice wasn’t nearly as gruff as she had imagined.

She pulled away again. “No, you’re not taking me anywhere. If Yurgin wants me, he can come and get me himself. Not send some lackey to do his job for him.”

“President Knope, please, I know you have no reason to trust me, but I’m here to help.”

“Like hell,” she spat. “You’re one of them. You think I don’t know? You think I don’t know that you’re the one doing all of Yurgin’s dirty work?” Her throat clenched. “You think I don’t know that you’re the one torturing Ben?”

The man’s hands dropped to his side, but he didn’t look away. “I’m doing what I have to do.”

Leslie let out a dark laugh. “For the greater good, right? All this has been for the greater good. _Killing_ me is for the greater good. Making me listen as you torture the man that I love is for the greater fucking good.”

“No, ma’am,” the man shook his head, “that’s not it at all. This might sound absurd to you, and I understand that, but please believe me. I’m not on their side. Never was. I was sent here to infiltrate the group over ten years ago. Sent here by your father.”

“You’re lying.”

“I’m not. My name’s Jackson, Malcolm Jackson, Pawnee Special Forces, or at least I was. All of my records were wiped when I accepted this mission. We couldn’t run the risk of the group figuring out who I was. To them, I was another Pawnee defector.”

Leslie just shook her head. “No, that’s impossible. There is absolutely no record of this whatsoever. There is no undercover mission, nothing. I would have known. _Someone_ would have known.”

“Your father knew what we were up against. Knew what they were capable of. He knew if there was any record, files, anything, I’d be found out. I guess he took this secret with him to his grave.”

“Then why? Why did you wait so long? How could you let all of this happen? How could you kill all of those people? How could you hurt Ben?!”

For the first time, he looked away. “I’m not proud of what I had to do, ma’am, but it had to be done. Yurgin trusts me now. It’s not easy to earn his trust, and I have had to see and do things that’ll haunt me to my grave, but I had to in order to work my way up to where I am. He’s paranoid beyond anything you could even imagine. One slip up and I’d be dead, and along with me, any chances of taking him down. I’ve been slowly and secretly gathering information that can be used against him. When he told me what he was planning, I knew this was my opportunity.”

Leslie shook in her chair and eyed him warily. God how she wanted to believe him, wanted to believe he was here to get her and Ben out, to help them save Pawnee, but he had no proof.

“Prove to me,” she said. “Prove to me why I should trust you. Why I should believe your story for one second when it sounds like something out of a spy novel.”

He surprised her again by smiling softly. “You know, your father said this might happen.”

“Don’t. Don’t you dare talk about my father.”

“Do you have any idea how proud he was of you, how much faith he had in you?”

“Stop it.” Her voice cracked.

“He knew that one day I’d have to prove myself to you. I’m prepared.” Jackson dug into his pocket and pulled out a keychain, but it wasn’t just any keychain. After over twenty-five years, Leslie still remembered it. It was crudely made, the Pawnee Crest on the front with a portrait of Li’l Sebastian on the back.

It was the keychain she had made her father for Father’s Day when she was ten-years-old.

“Where did you get that?” Leslie whispered, feeling the prickle of tears in the corner of her eye.

“I told you, your father. He knew that I might one day need to prove myself to you, so he gave me this.”

“Oh, my God, you’re telling the truth,” she said as she stared at the “Love Leslie” written on the corner of the keychain.

“I am. He said it was one of his most prized possessions, and that it was the only thing fitting for something as important as this. I respected your father very much, and I’m here to finish what he started.”

Leslie nodded slowly and allowed him to untie the binds on her feet and hands. “What are we going to do?”

“I’m going to get you out of here, but we have to be careful. If Yurgin or anyone suspects what’s happening, we’re all dead. I tried to send an encrypted message to the Capitol, but there’s no guarantee it was sent successfully before I disabled the transmission. We can’t hold out any hope that there will be anyone on their way to rescue us.”

Jackson got up after he untied Leslie and extended his hand. She took it tentatively and stood on shaky legs. “How are you going to do it? You can’t just walk us out of here.”

“I can try. Yurgin rarely comes down to this part of the compound unless it’s to visit either you or Major Wyatt. He’s preoccupied with planning your televised execution, so we should have some time. Plus, he’s too paranoid to have any other guards down here in this corridor with access to you. If we run into anyone on our way out, hopefully they won’t question me, and if they do, let’s hope they believe my lie.”

Leslie paused, turning to look in the man’s eyes as well as she could in the dim light. “How could you do it? How could you just abandon your life, your family, for this?”

“Wasn’t much to give up, really,” Jackson shrugged. “Wasn’t married or seeing anyone, no kids, parents died not long after I enlisted. I was a good candidate. No one to miss me when I was gone.”

Leslie actually felt bad for the man. He had given up any semblance of a life, risked his life for this. Endured God-only-knows-what to earn the trust of some crazed extremist. But she pushed all of that out of her mind for now. There would be time to dwell on it later. Right now, she had more important things to worry about. “So, how are we going to get Ben?”

Jackson shook his head. “Ma’am, we can’t-”

“No, don’t even say it. I’m not leaving without him.”

“We’ll be cutting it close just with you. I don’t think we can also handle Major Wyatt.” Jackson looked down and swallowed. “He, uh, he probably can’t stand or walk on his own right now.”

“Because of _you_!”

“I told you, I did what I had to do. My mission is to get you out of here and bring these people down. I’m doing that. I’m saving you and I’m helping to save Pawnee. We can’t risk that for Major Wyatt. We can always send people back-”

Leslie pushed Jackson away, stumbling slightly without his steadying hand. “And you honestly think that they’ll let him live once they realize we’re gone? No, if you want to save me, save our country, you will help Ben, and that’s an order.”

Jackson clenched his jaw and nodded stiffly. “Yes, ma’am. But remember that I warned you. If you really think taking Major Wyatt is worth the risk-”

“Yes,” she interrupted him. “Yes, he’s worth it. He’s worth every risk. For everything he’s done for me, for Pawnee, he deserves this, and I’m not leaving without him.”

Jackson nodded again and put out his hand. As much as she was loathe at this point to take it, her legs still weren’t strong enough after days of sitting to immediately hold her weight on their own. He wrapped an arm around her waist and they walked to the door.

Opening it slowly, Jackson stuck his head out and looked in either direction of the hall. “Coast is still clear, for now. Come on.”

Leslie limped the twenty or so feet down the hall until they were outside of the neighboring cell--Ben’s cell. She had to control her breathing to hold her emotions in check, but she was rapidly failing. After listening to him being tortured, after thinking she would never see him again, she was about to walk into his cell. Tears pricked her eyes before she could stop them.

“Ma'am, I, uh, I feel like I should warn you about what you’re about to see.” He had the decency to look ashamed. “Major Wyatt’s not in good shape. I can find a place to hide you if you want to wait out here or-”

“No.” Her voice cracked. “No, I need to see him. Please.”

Jackson nodded and slowly opened the cell door. “I’ll stand guard here, then. I’ll give you a few minutes of privacy, but please, we have to be as quick as possible.”

Leslie didn’t acknowledge him at that point, not when she looked in and saw Ben’s bruised and broken body lying still on the ground. Her breath hitched and suddenly her legs didn’t feel all that weak anymore. They were propelling her forward, towards Ben.

She fell onto her knees and hovered over him. He looked like hell. Large bruises covered every visible inch of his body, and she could see open cuts and sores. Her hands ghosted over him as she let out a sob. “Ben,” she said shaking him, but there was no response. “Ben, you have to wake up, okay?” The gentle caresses to his face soon turned into a light slap, mindful to avoid the worst parts.

At least the best that she could. There wasn’t an inch of his face that wasn’t swollen.

“Please, wake up. You have to get up.”

She continued to slap at his face, her hits and pleas growing more desperate. She couldn’t fathom the idea that he wouldn’t wake up, that she’d never get to hold him or look in his eyes again.

That she’d never be able to tell him she loved him one more time.

Finally, _finally_ , she finally felt him stir beneath her fingers.

She could see his eyes moving beneath closed lids, the muscles in his cheeks spasm. “L-L-Le,” he tried to say, but he just couldn’t form the words.

She didn’t care. Just the fact that he was awake was enough. “Yeah, sweetheart, it’s me,” she half laughed, half sobbed as she ran a gentle hand down his cheek. He still hadn’t opened his eyes, but his lips kept moving like he was trying to speak. “I know you’re confused, and I promise I will explain everything to you, but I need you to open your eyes. Please?”

It looked like he was using every ounce of energy he possessed, but he finally cracked them open. She couldn’t remember smiling so big before in her life. “Hey. You wouldn’t wake up and you had me so scared.”

He just stared up at her, like he couldn’t believe she was real. She ran her hands softly though his hair. He was here, he was alive, and soon, he’d be safe.

The moment between them was broken by Jackson at the door. “President Knope, please, we need to hurry and get him out of here.”

She turned to Jackson and nodded before looking back to Ben, his confusion even more evident. She didn’t want to anything right now other than curl up next to him and cry, to hold him and take away every last bit of pain.

But they didn’t have the time.

“Just hold on for me, okay? We're gonna get you out of here."

Ben moved his head in an attempt to nod, but a grimace quickly formed on his lips. Leslie’s eyes once again swept up and down Ben’s body, and she had to quell her nausea. Jackson had been right, there was no way Ben could stand let alone walk out of here.

Before she could ask, Jackson was at her side. Ben’s eyes went wide and she could tell he was panicking. “Shh, it’s okay, Ben.” Leslie stroked his hair again. “I know how this looks, but he’s on our side. He’s gonna help us both get out of here.”

Ben’s breathing was still hard and fast, his eyes moving quickly back and forth between them, but he soon realized he had no choice but to trust him--not if he wanted to get out of his cell.

“I apologize for everything that has happened, Major Wyatt,” Jackson said as he slid his hands under Ben’s body. “But I swear to you that my allegiance is with President Knope and Pawnee. I will get you both out of here.”

Ben hissed but nodded slowly as did his best to help prop himself up against Jackson. After hobbling a few feet, Ben stopped.

“Please, Major, I know this is difficult, but we have to keep going. We don’t have much time left.”

Ben shook his head. “N-no, g-go ‘out me,” he forced out between clenched teeth.

Leslie turned to him. “Why does everyone keep saying that?! No, we aren’t leaving without you.” He made a move to protest but Leslie silenced him. “Just stop it, okay. I’m not going without you and that’s final.” She reached out and took his hand. her thumb running gentle circles on the black and blue-colored skin. “Just ask yourself, if it was me, could you leave me behind? Could you?” Ben looked away and she had her answer. “And neither can I. I can’t even imagine how much pain you’re in right now, but please, do whatever you can to help Jackson get you out of here. We’re going to make it Ben. We’re going to get out of here and save Pawnee and take Yurgin down and go home and have an amazing life together.” She smiled. “You got that, soldier.”

His lips were too badly swollen--otherwise she would have kissed him by now-- but from what little of his eyes Leslie could see, Ben was smiling back at her. He took on as much of his own weight as possible and the trio continued forward.

The basement of the compound was a dizzying labyrinth, hallways with twists and turns that never seemed to end. But Jackson seemed to know it like the back of his hand, never once blinking as they turned the countless corners.

Every few hundred feet, Ben needed to stop, slumping against the wall for a few seconds before nodding slightly to Jackson. He was struggling, even suggesting more than once that they just leave him behind, but Leslie wouldn’t hear it. She wasn’t leaving without him.

Thankfully, Ben seemed to be getting incrementally stronger, not weaker, the stretches he could walk without a break growing longer and longer.

“How big is this place?” Leslie asked as they turned down yet another hallway.

“Fairly large. Mostly for storage and stockpiling weapons, but there are a fair amount of people that live here as well. I am taking the longer way out since there’s a lesser chance of us being found if we go this route.”

Leslie ran a hand along the cold cement walls as they walked. “So what happens next? We leave here and then what?”

“I’m not sure, ma’am. I can only hope that my transmission from earlier went through. If that’s the case, then within the next hour or so your people will be here. If we can make it beyond the perimeter of the compound, we wait out a rescue team.”

“And if they don’t come?” Ben asked.

“I’m more familiar with these woods than almost anyone. Another benefit of Yurgin’s paranoia. He rarely let anyone outside the property of the compound. Except for me, of course.”

Ben didn’t seem convinced. “We won’t stand a chance out there once they realize we’re missing. They’ll be swarming those woods and your cover will be blown. We’ll be sitting ducks.”

“Then I guess we better hope your people get here in time, don’t we,” Jackson answered without missing a beat.

Ben stopped walking and turned his head as best as he could towards Jackson. “Is this some fucking sick joke to you?” he spat angrily.

“Ben-” Leslie tried to calm him, but he cut her off.

“No. I don’t know who the hell you think you are, but I think I’ve been fairly calm considering you are the same man that beat the living shit out of me for the last few days and left me to die. Now I’m supposed to just blindly follow you out because you say that you’re on our side? For all we know you’re just leading us to our deaths.”

Leslie turned Ben’s face towards hers, her hands cupping his cheek as he looked him in the eye. “Ben, please, I know this a lot and might be too much for you to handle after what you’ve just gone through, but he’s telling the truth. He was sent here by my father to infiltrate the group. He’s been here gathering information for years.”

He shook his head. “No, that’s impossible. I would have known. Hell, you would have known.”

“That’s what I thought, too. But it makes sense. It’s definitely something my dad would have done. He knew they were planning something big, just waiting to strike again, so he sent Jackson here to try to do what he could to stop it.”

“And he never once told you?”

Leslie looked away. “There were a lot of things my father didn’t get to tell me before he died. Maybe it was his way of protecting me. Maybe he thought he had more time than he did.” She looked back at him, her eyes fierce and determined. “For Jackson’s sake, it had to be top secret. You saw what they’re capable of, how many people they have on the inside. If there was anything, he’d be dead by now.”

“But _how_? How do you know for sure he’s telling the truth?”

She rubbed her thumb lightly over a large bruise on his cheek. “He showed me something. Something my dad gave to him in case he ever had to prove himself. Trust me, there’s no other way he could have gotten it if my dad hadn’t have given it to him.”

“I don’t know how much worth my word has to you, Major,” Jackson said, “but I swore an oath to protect and serve Pawnee when I was 18 years old. I know you can understand that. I was special forces for almost ten years before I took this mission. I did this because I believed in my country and my leader. My only priority is making sure that President Knope makes it out of here alive.”

Ben looked at Jackson before closing his eyes and letting out a pained sigh. Leslie tugged gently on the back of his neck and let his forehead rest against hers.

“I’m just so tired, Leslie. I want it all to be over.”

“I know,” she breathed. “Me, too. But we’re gonna make it out of here, okay? I know you might not trust Jackson, and that’s understandable, but you trust me right?”

He nodded.

“And I trust him. It’ll all be fine.”

Jackson cleared his throat beside them. “For what it’s worth, you’d be dead in a few days regardless if you stayed behind in that cell. At least with me, there’s a chance I’m telling the truth. Some chance is better than none, right?”

Ben eyed him up and down. “I don’t really have much of a choice though, do I?”

“Not if you want to get out of here, you don’t.”

Ben’s eyes flitted between Leslie and Jackson before pointing to the large man. “You have to promise me something. You have to promise me that if anything happens and I’m not physically capable to keep up or am dragging you down, you leave me.” Leslie opened her mouth to protest, but he cut her off. “Do you understand? You take Leslie and you go.”

“With all due respect, Major, there was never a choice. I’d leave you behind without a second thought.”

Ben nodded, and the proud look on his face was enough to make Leslie sick to her stomach.

“Well, since I’m apparently the only one immensely opposed to that idea, I suggest we hurry up and keep going so it doesn’t become a reality.”

She resumed her position next to Ben, holding tightly onto his hand as they continued to walk down the corridor.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her smile was so infectious, he could only return it with one of his own. They were so close now. He could almost taste their freedom. He was too distracted to see Jackson walk up behind her with his own small smile, holstering his weapon. Too distracted to see the shadow from just behind the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are REALLY getting close to the end here. Just a few more chapters to go. The chapter after this one is also pretty far along, so hopefully you won't have to wait too much for it.

Ben inhaled sharply through his nose and gritted his teeth as another wave of pain surged through his body. Every inch of him ached, but there were some moments that were worse than others.

But no matter how badly he wanted to stop, he refused. He knew Leslie would never leave him, not even if she should, and he’d be damned if he was going to cause them to fall further behind than they already were.

He grimaced again and saw Leslie shoot him a worried glance out of the corner of his eye, but he ignored it. She sighed and readjusted her arm, securing it more firmly across his back, while he tried not to wince.

She stopped only a few paces later, and both Ben and Jackson looked on as she pulled her hand away and stared at it in thinly masked horror.

“You’re bleeding,” she said as she looked at her pink-tinged palm.

Before he could protest, Leslie moved behind him and began prodding his back through his mangled shirt.

“Well, yeah,” Ben answered with a hiss. “Thanks to our friend here, I have quite a few open wounds back there. It’ll be fine. Let’s keep going.”

She didn’t budge. “No, you’re bleeding a lot. I think the walking aggravated it. Let me just take a look.”

“Leslie, leave it alone. We can worry about it later.”

Damn that stubborn woman. She undid the last of the buttons on his shirt and slowly peeled it off. He assumed it looked as bad as it felt once he heard a choking sound behind him.

“Oh, my God,” she whispered. “What did you do to him?”

Jackson had the decency not to answer.

Ben tried his best to bite back a groan as Leslie put pressure on the wounds with his shirt trying to soak up the blood.

“This isn’t going to work. He needs something.”

“We can worry about that once we make it out of here,” Jackson answered. “We don’t have time.”

“He won’t make it out of here if we don’t. He’s bleeding out way too fast.”

Ben wanted to argue, but a wave of dizziness overtook him, and he swayed.

Both Jackson and Leslie gripped him firmly. “Ben? Ben, are you okay?”

“Y-yeah. Sorry. I’m okay. I can make it. Let’s just go.”

Leslie ignored him. “We need to at least do something to help stop the bleeding. Something to disinfect them if we can. It already looks like an infection is starting.” She walked around in front of him and brushed her fingers against the large purple and black bruises on his ribs.

“With all due respect, ma’am, I didn’t exactly come prepared for that.”

“And you must take me for an idiot if you think I don’t know that somewhere here you must have medical supplies nearby. You said these were mainly used for storage right? That includes medical equipment.”

“Madam President-”

“Answer me.”

He sighed. “It’s a little out of our way, but yes.”

“Then we stop there. You said so yourself, who knows what’s going to happen once we leave here. I, for one, don’t want to take the chance that we’ll be left stranded in the woods with nothing to help him.”

“Fine,” Jackson answered after a pause. As though he really had a choice. “But we only have a few minutes. We gather what we need, find something to staunch the blood flow and keep going. We’re running out of time.”

Ben hated that they were talking about him as though he wasn’t there, but he didn't have the energy to argue anymore.

Jackson and Leslie flanked him on either side and supported most of his weight now as they continued forward.

It felt like an eternity. With every step, he could feel the energy draining out of him, could feel his head swimming, could feel his back on fire. Just when his body felt like it couldn’t go any further, the three stopped.

Jackson jerked his head in the direction of a door. “There should be some supplies in there. I’ll stay with Major Wyatt, and you go grab what you can.”

Leslie nodded and she and Jackson lowered Ben to the ground and onto his stomach. He grunted as his sore ribs ached in protest.

“Hey,” she smiled down at him, brushing a few loose strands of hair away from his forehead, “I’ll be right back, okay? Just sit tight for me.”

When Ben heard the door to the room close behind Leslie, he looked up at the pacing Jackson. “I know you really didn’t have much of a choice, but thank you. I’d honestly rather you didn’t stop for me either, but I still appreciate it.”

“You’re right, I didn’t have much of a choice.” He looked up and down the corridors several times before deciding it was safe enough for him to sit down next to Ben. “I have no doubt you must think me heartless, but I am sorry. You didn’t deserve any of this.”

“That’s a matter of opinion.”

Jackson shifted and set his gun on the ground next to him. “No, it’s a fact. I probably know more about you than you'll ever realize. Yurgin’s obsessed with you. You were always the one that got away, the White Whale to his Captain Ahab. Once you got involved, it had become his mission to take you down almost as much as it was to take Pawnee down, too." His eyes moved from the wall to Ben. “You’re smart. Smart enough to give Yurgin a run for his money. I think you’re the only one that he ever felt was worthy to be his equal. I wouldn’t be surprised if half of all of his elaborate show was to ensure that you’d get involved. He wanted to show off to you. Once he realized that you and President Knope were involved, I think it was the greatest news he could have gotten. You're each other’s greatest weakness.”

“If you’re trying to remind me that my involvement made things worse for Leslie, you don’t have to.”

Jackson shook his head. “On the contrary, actually. I’m pretty sure he would have killed her by now if it wasn’t for his desire to make everything as elaborate as possible. The clues, the games, that was all his attempts to get your attention. Trust me, we have more than enough firepower and people inside the Pawnee government to have done this much simpler. But then again, he always did have a flair for the dramatics.”

Ben smirked despite himself. “Yeah, he did.”

“For what it’s worth,” Jackson said after a beat, “I've always admired you. Even before I got involved in all this. It wasn't right how they treated you. You're a good man. I hope you know I did what I had to do to not blow my cover. I’ve done a lot of terrible things, things that’ll stay with me until I die, but it was all for this. I had my orders, and I was going to follow them even if it meant sacrificing my soul. I don’t know if that makes any sense, but-”

“No, it does. It’s hard for most people to understand, but I get it.”

“Maybe you can help President Knope understand, too,” he said half-joking. “I’m not very high on her list right now.”

“I almost wish I didn’t have to.” Ben’s eyes flicked over to the closed door of the supply closet. “She shouldn’t ever have to understand any of this. She’s just so good, you know? Pure, if that makes sense. But now she’s been tainted by everything I wanted to protect her from. I don’t know if she’ll ever be the same. I don’t see how anyone could be the same after this. No one should ever have to live through this, least of all her.”

Jackson found a stray bit of concrete that had been chipped off of the floor and tossed it against the opposite wall. “We’re all just fucked up, aren’t we? It’s the one thing they don’t tell you when you sign up. They advertise the free college tuition and the pay and lifetime career opportunities, but never any of this shit. And the sick thing is, I don’t regret any of it at all.”

Ben thought back, thought back to who he was so long ago. The wide-eyed, eager young man enlisting on his eighteenth birthday thinking he was destined to do great things. How much pain and suffering he would have saved himself if he had never walked into that recruiting office. How different his life would have been.

But then he thought about Leslie, about everything they shared together, everything she had come to mean to him. He wouldn’t be where he was today without ICE Town. He certainly wouldn’t have Leslie.

“If Leslie gets home safe, then I can say the same thing. I’ll die a happy man.”

“Yeah, well, let’s hope for all of our sakes, you’re around for a long time.”

“Aww, you attached to me already, Jackson?”

“Don’t be a smartass, Wyatt,” Jackson smirked. “If you make it out of here alive, it means that we all make it out of here alive.”

Before Ben could answer, the door to the closet opened and Leslie came out with armfuls of supplies. She knelt down and scattered everything on the floor around her.

“Good, you’re still conscious.”

“Yeah, Jackson did a nice job chatting me up while you were gone.”

Her eyes moved momentarily to Jackson before once again focusing on Ben. “Good. Now, I wasn’t able to find much, but I did find some antiseptic, gauze, and some rags. I’m gonna disinfect the cuts, okay? It’s gonna hurt.”

Jackson grabbed a rag from the pile and set it in front of Ben. “You’re probably gonna need this. If you’re too loud, someone might overhear.”

Ben nodded and took the rag, stuffing it into his mouth like a gag. It was a smart move on Jackson’s part because the second the liquid hit his back, Ben cried out in excruciating pain. Pain only rivaled by the actual receiving of the wounds themselves.

“Shh, I know,” Leslie whispered. “I know it hurts. I’m sorry.”

His fists clenched and unclenched, his nails dug into the cement floor, and not matter how much he tried to keep still, his body would jerk and writhe involuntarily. So much so that Jackson had to come hold him down just so Leslie could finish dressing the wounds.

“Okay, that should help,” Leslie said, sitting back on her heels and pushing hair out of her face. “I’ll bring the extras with me for when you bleed through these. We really don’t have anything to bind up your ribs, though. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. I’ll be good.”

“We need to be careful. If any of your ribs are broken, it might puncture an organ.”

“I don’t know if that’s a luxury we have right now.”

Leslie huffed. “It doesn’t mean we can’t try.”

Ben couldn’t help it. He smiled. “You’re adorable when you’re angry at me.”

“Yeah, well, you’re frustrating when you don’t care about your well being.” She waved Jackson over and the two of them helped Ben back to his feet. She didn’t speak as she helped Ben back into what was left of his shirt.

“Hey,” he said to her softly as she fastened the buttons on the front, “your hands are shaking. Don’t worry, everything will be fine.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Sure I do. Jackson’s gonna get us out of here.”

“Yeah? And then what? We hope that by some miracle they got the message back in Pawnee and are charging here on white horses to rescue us? Make it out to the woods just to watch you get worse and worse. You didn’t see it, Ben. It’s bad. If you don’t get medical attention soon, the infection is going to get worse and spread. If you die-”

She choked and he pulled her gently to him. “Shhh, it’s okay.”

“It’s not. If you die, none of this matters. I don’t know if I can get through this without you.”

He tilted her chin up, and despite his black eyes, bruised cheeks, and split, swollen lips, her kissed her. It was a soft, chaste kiss, barely more than a brushing of lips, but it was his first taste of her in days.

“Everything will be fine,” he said once they broke apart.

“When did you become the optimist out of the two of us?”

“I learned from the best.”

Leslie bit her lip and did her best to not look worried, and he appreciated the effort, at least.

Jackson cleared his throat in the background.

“We really need to get going.”

Leslie nodded and wiped at her eyes. “Yes, right.” She took Ben's arm and threw it around her shoulder, Jackson doing the same at his other side.

Time passed in relative silence, save for the few hisses and grunts from Ben when the pain became too much to bear. Every so often he’d glance at Leslie. Her gaze remained straight ahead, fierce and determined, but there was a hollowness there, too.

He knew those eyes. They were his eyes after ICE Town, his eyes as he struggled to learn to function again, his eyes when he couldn’t deal with the guilt and nightmares and sliced open the skin on his wrists.

They were the eyes that he carried with him those years in intelligence, those years where he spent his nights in anguish and his days atoning for crimes he didn’t even commit.

And now he hated himself even more because he couldn’t protect Leslie from this. He’d have to see those eyes in her everyday and know that look was there because of him.

“How much farther?” Leslie asked, readjusting Ben’s weight on her shoulder.

“Not too far. Just at the end of this last corridor is the mechanical room. It has a door leading outside, and I figured it’d be the safest route. No one goes in or out of there unless they’re doing maintenance.”

“And there’s not any kind of camera monitoring the exit?” Ben questioned.

“I took every necessary precaution. This wing of the compound doesn’t have security cameras. It’s restricted access, so it was deemed impractical to have cameras on a few empty rooms and storage closets. There are cameras on all of the exits, but I did a little high-tech trickery and messed with the feed. It’s on a loop of video taken this time yesterday.”

“Like what was done at the prison when Joe was killed.”

“Exactly, but unlike whatever moron put together that video, I actually used the same time of day. The idiots watching this feed in the control room won’t know the difference.” They walked to the end of the hall to a large, metal door. “This is it. Once we make it through here and into the forest, we’re in the clear.”

Leslie’s grip on Ben tightened. “Oh, thank God.”

Jackson pushed open the door and led them inside the large room filled with pipes, pumps, and various electrical panels. After hours upon hours of relative silence, the loud noises of the machinery were almost deafening.

They were halfway across the room before a piercing alarm cut through all other sounds.

“Shit,” Jackson cursed under his breath.

“What is that?” Leslie asked in a panic. “Is it bad? What’s that sound?”

“It’s the emergency alarm. Once that goes off, our security system automatically seals the compound. Someone either found out that you two were missing, or they picked up incoming enemy choppers or vehicles.”

Leslie blinked. “But if it’s because our people are coming, that’s good, right?”

“Not unless we know that for sure. And even still, if they didn’t know before, they’ll definitely know now that you and Major Wyatt are no longer in your cells. And in the meantime--”

“We’re trapped,” Ben rasped. “The compound’s on lockdown. All doors are electronically sealed now. No one comes in and no one goes out. Am I right?”

Jackson nodded. “Yes, sir. We’re sitting ducks for lack of a better term. We either hold off here and hope that your people find us before Yurgin’s do, or venture out and find another way out, but I don’t much recommend that.”

“No,” Leslie shook her head. “No, this isn’t happening. There has to be something we can do. We have to get out of here. We’re so close!”

“I’m sorry, ma’am, but I don’t know--wait. Wait, I think I have an idea.” He walked them over to a large, low lying pipe, and they gently sat Ben down. “There should be a set of electrical panels somewhere in here that control this portion of the compound. If I can override the system and shut down the power, the door should unlock. It’ll be risky because once that happens, they’ll know where we are, but it’s our only way out. We just have to hope we make it to safety before they track us down.”

“We don’t really have much of a choice,” Leslie answered. “It’s a good plan. Do it.”

“I’m going to need you to come with me. For security purposes, the override requires two people, one to insert the override key and keep it turned while the other manually shuts down all of the circuits.” He pulled out his gun and bent down to pull a spare from his ankle holster. He handed the second, smaller weapon to Ben. “Let’s hope we’re back over here before they’re even onto us, but just in case. You’ll be alone and exposed.”

Leslie eyed the gun with fear in her eyes. “I don’t know if we should leave him. He’s too weak to defend himself.”

“Leslie, I’ll be fine. You’re only going to be on the other side of the room. It’s just a precaution. If you try to take me with you, I’ll just slow you down.”

She looked over her shoulder and shrugged. “But it’s a big room. A few yards makes a difference if someone comes barrelling in with a gun. You’ll be their first target.”

He caught her hand and pulled it to his lips. “You worry too much. I’ll be fine. Go.”

She kissed his forehead before following behind Jackson to the other side of the room, darting behind several large pipes and out of view.

Ben took a deep breath and clutched the gun in his hands, his eyes trained straight ahead on the door. It was irrational to be so afraid. It was too soon for anyone to find them, and no one will be storming through that door, but he flipped off the safety on the gun anyway.

It felt like an eternity, propped there feeling like a target until the constant buzzing sound of the pumps and generators stopped and the lights flickered off, replaced by the dim glow of the emergency lights.

Leslie came running out from behind the pipes with a smile. “We did it!”

Her smile was so infectious, he could only return it with one of his own. They were so close now. He could almost taste their freedom. He was too distracted to see Jackson walk up behind her with his own small smile, holstering his weapon. Too distracted to see the shadow from just behind the door.

Jackson and Leslie were halfway to him when the door swung open and Yurgin walked through.

Jackson whipped around at the sound, pushing Leslie behind him as the three stared at the intruder.

“Well, well, well, isn’t this a nice surprise,” Yurgin said with a slight tinge of amusement, his gun trained on Jackson’s chest. “I must say, Malcolm, I’m a bit disappointed. Imagine my shock when I went down to pay our friends here a visit and found they’d gone missing. Now, how on earth could that have happened? Lucky for me I had a few hidden cameras tucked in the corridors that no one knew about.”

To his credit, Jackson didn’t back down. “It’s over, Jim. Pawnee military’s on their way. If you give up now, maybe-”

“Shut up. Don’t you dare fucking try to pull that on me. I trusted you and you betrayed me. You ruined everything I spent my life working for. I should have known better than to trust Pawnee scum like you.”

Yurgin’s grip on the gun tightened, and Ben used every ounce of energy to try to stand himself up. The movement caught Yurgin’s eye, and he swung his arm to point the weapon at him. “And you. You’ve been the thorn in my side for twenty years. I should have just killed you when I had the chance. I’m going to enjoy watching you die.”

Ben knew he wasn’t going to be fast enough to shoot first, but before Yurgin could get a shot off, Jackson lunged forward.

Yurgin’s head turned and his arm followed, firing a shot directly into Jackson’s abdomen, and Leslie cried out as he fell to the ground. There was a split second where Ben could tell she was torn between going to Jackson and running, to fight or to flee, but that single moment of indecision didn’t go unpunished.

Leslie screamed as Yurgin reached out and grabbed her just as Ben had the gun trained on his chest, her body now obstructing the one shot he had.

Ben licked his bruised lips and narrowed his swollen eyes as he did his best to steady his arms and keep his aim. But there was no shot, there was no way he’d be able to shoot in his condition and not run the risk of hitting Leslie.

His entire body throbbed as he kept the gun trained on Yurgin and Leslie, the weapon feeling like it weighed one and a half tons instead of pounds, but it was amazing what adrenaline could do.

It was amazing what you could do when a gun was pressed against the temple of the woman you love.

With a feral smile, Yurgin tightened his hold on Leslie. “How d’ya like this move, Benji?”


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leslie could feel the cold metal pressed against her temple, could smell Yurgin’s breath as he breathed heavily in and out in her ear. His one arm was wrapped around her so tightly, she could already feel bruises forming.
> 
> Ben pointed the gun at them with shaky hands, and Leslie could see beads of sweat forming on his brow. “Let her go,” he said, his voice almost as unsteady as his hands. “Let her go right now or I’ll kill you where you stand.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two updates in one week! It's a holiday miracle. We're getting super close to the end. There will be one more chapter after this and then the epilogue. Thanks so much to everyone that has stuck with the story and have been so encouraging. I wouldn't have done it without you <3 As always, please tell me your thoughts/opinions/anything.

Leslie could feel the cold metal pressed against her temple, could smell Yurgin’s breath as he breathed heavily in and out in her ear. His one arm was wrapped around her so tightly, she could already feel bruises forming.

Ben pointed the gun at them with shaky hands, and Leslie could see beads of sweat forming on his brow. “Let her go,” he said, his voice almost as unsteady as his hands. “Let her go right now or I’ll kill you where you stand.”

Yurgin jerked her again roughly. “Oh, Benji, you don’t think you can make me believe you, do you? You’re not going to shoot, not if you’ll run the risk of hitting your pretty little lady here.”

“You can’t have forgotten so quickly, Jimmy. You know I’m good shot.”

“And I know your hands are shaking like leaves and your eyes are practically useless. You can barely hold yourself up. I doubt you’d hit either of us.”

“Just let her go,” Ben tried to reason. “You know Jackson already sent the word out. There will be agents and soldiers surrounding the compound before you know it. Your plan isn’t going to work anymore. Leslie is of no use to you now.”

That only made Yurgin press the barrel harder against her head. “She will always be of use to me. Maybe I want to take her out with me. Huh, you ever think of that? I know I’m as good as dead, and nothing's gonna stop me from having her join me in hell.”

Ben’s gripped the gun even tighter, his finger hovering over the trigger. “Don’t make me do this.”

Leslie grimaced as Yurgin’s loud laugh pierced her ear. “Benji, I almost wish you would, but you just don’t have it in you. You didn’t twenty years ago, and you don’t now. You’re weak. You’ve always been weak and you will always be weak. I built this, all of this, and I beat you. And if I die, I’m taking the only thing left that you love. You’ll have to live the rest of your life with your failures, with even more guilt consuming you. I want you to go to your grave hating the man that stares back at you in the mirror. I want your country to know how you failed them, how you failed their leader. But go ahead. Prove me wrong. Kill me and show for once that you’re better than me. I dare you.”

Ben stared hard at him before his eyes moved to hers. She wanted to tell him so many things. To tell him that she loved him, that she trusted him to make the right choice. That no matter what he did, he would always be better than Yurgin.

But deep down, she wanted him to kill the bastard even if it meant risking her own life.

She could see his eyes turning red, his nostrils flaring as he tried to tell her things with his own eyes.

He was begging for her forgiveness. If only he knew that there was nothing to apologize for.

For a split second, Ben’s eyes drifted past Yurgin’s shoulder and widened, before quickly moving back to the pair.

His lips moved, but Leslie couldn’t hear what he said.

“What?” Yurgin yelled. “Speak the fuck up, Benji!”

The corner of Ben’s lips quirked. “I said checkmate, Jimmy.”

Yurgin just furrowed his brow in confusion. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“I am better than you. I finally realized it. I’m better than you and I don’t have to become you to do it. I’m not going to kill you. You’re going to live and stand trial for what you’ve done. You’re going to have to face the world and rot in a cell for the rest of your pathetic life. All of this is gonna come crashing down around you, and you’re gonna live to see it.”

Leslie choked back a sob when she heard Yurgin pull back the hammer on his pistol. “You’ll still lose.”

She squeezed her eyes shut and braced herself, as ready as she could ever be to have her life be over in an instant. She tried to think of happy thoughts, of her father's arms or her mother's laugh. Of Ann when they were young and carefree, eternally cementing their friendship with carvings in a tree.

She thought of April, so young and vibrant, Andy who was a beacon of light and happiness that shined for far too short a time. Of Ron, who was faithful and loyal to her throughout her entire lifetime. Tom and Donna who shared their energy and fun loving spirit with her whenever she needed it most. Even Jerry, whose devotion to her was the only thing that outperformed his clumsiness.

But above all, what pressed most on her heart was Ben, the man trembling before her with guilt in his eyes that she knew would stay with him for the rest of his life. A man who had come into her life like a whirlwind during one of the most trying times of her life and made her fall him love with him. The only man she could have ever imagined herself having a future with.

And it hurt because as much as she loved him, she knew her death would be just another thing haunting him, another thing that just might push him over the edge. She didn’t know if he’d be strong enough to live through this. She’s not sure she would be if the roles were reversed.

But she pushed all of those negative thoughts away. Her last thoughts weren’t going to be ones of fear and regret. That would be the one thing that Yurgin couldn’t take away from her. So, instead, she thought of Ben’s smile, the one he gave her during their first meal together. His shoulder when she’d fall asleep on it during their movie nights. His hands that were almost too big for his size, but God, did he know how to use them. The warmth of his body as they snuggled together, the way he could make her feel so on fire and full of life and love.

And as cliche as it was, she was grateful for the short time they spent together, even if a thousand lifetimes would never be enough time with him. She found herself hoping that there was an afterlife, just so she could know for sure she’d see him again someday.

She heard the sound of a gun, but felt nothing. She expected to feel something, anything if only for a split second before her nerve endings failed and she drifted off into nothingness. Instead, she heard Yurgin scream in pain beside her and felt the cool metal slip away as he dropped his weapon. She opened up her eyes as Yurgin’s hand released her, and she saw him clutching his shoulder. Leslie didn’t even have time to think before she kicked the gun away and ran to Ben’s outstretched hand.

She turned around and watched as another man stepped out of the shadows with his gun drawn, and Leslie sobbed in relief when she realized where that shot had come from.

Andy walked towards the writhing Yurgin, a slew of other agents swarming the room. “James Yurgin,” Andy said as another agent ran up and handcuffed him, “On behalf of the United Nations and The Independent State of Pawnee, you are under arrest for suspicion of terrorism, murder, attempted murder, and a whole hell of a lot more.” He bent down and brought his mouth close to Yurgin’s ear. “We got you, you son of a bitch.” He stood up and did one more cursory glance. “Search the room,” he said gruffly before holstering his weapon.

Leslie couldn’t contain herself anymore and she threw herself into his waiting arms. “Oh, my God, I thought you were dead,” she sobbed.

Andy squeezed her tightly. “You know you can’t get rid of me that easy, boss. Just a flesh wound in the shoulder. Now me and Major Ben have matching scars.”

“Sir,” a voice called out from across the room. “We have one of Yurgin’s men already down. His pulse his weak.”

Leslie pulled away from Andy with wide eyes. “Oh, no.” She ran towards them. “Stop, he’s one of ours.” She fell onto her knees and immediately began putting pressure on the gaping wound in Jackson’s stomach.

“Ma’am, I don’t think-”

“No, you don’t understand. He was the one that sent you the message. He’s the one who was helping me and Ben escape.” She looked down at Jackson as his eyes fluttered open. “You’re gonna be fine, okay. There’s medical attention coming, and you’re going to be fine.”

It was a lie. Everyone in that room knew he wasn’t going to make it, but Leslie just couldn’t give up hope. He had done too much for her, for her father, to die like this.

He coughed and blood trickled out of the sides of his mouth. He slowly took Leslie hands in his own trembling ones, passing to her the keychain he carried with him for ten years.

“No,” Leslie protested, “this is yours now. Everything’s going to be fine, just hold onto it for me, okay?”

Jackson still insisted, and she took the keychain, now stained red with streaks of his blood. Next, he grabbed at the collar of his shirt, pulling it down enough to reveal a flash drive attached to a chain around his neck.

His breaths kept coming in shorter, wetter pants, until finally, they stopped altogether.

“No, no, no, no,” she repeated to herself as she pressed down harder on his stomach. “Wake up, Jackson. Wake up, dammit. You aren’t supposed to die like this.”

She didn’t even realize Ben was beside her until he slowly knelt down with a grimace, and she turned into him. She sobbed into his neck for another life that was lost to this, another brave soul that gave themselves up for her and for Pawnee.

Andy knelt down beside them. “Who was he?”

“Malcolm Jackson,” Ben answered for her. “He was Pawnee Special Forces. Leslie’s father sent him deep undercover to infiltrate the group.” Ben nodded towards the chain around Jackson’s neck. “Everything you’ll need to build the case against Yurgin should be on that flash drive. He’s been collecting data on him for nearly a decade.”

“He’s the only reason we’re still alive,” Leslie hiccuped. “He saved us, and he died doing it.”

Ben ran his palm over her hair and kissed it, whispering soothing words into her ear.

Andy remained silent for a moment, taking in the dead man on the ground before looking back over to Ben.

“Holy shit. No offense, Major Ben, but you look terrible.”

Leslie pulled away and turned to Andy. “He’s in pretty bad shape. He needs to get to the hospital immediately.”

Andy nodded. “We’ve got a chopper out not too far and a medic waiting outside for the both of you. I wish I could ride back with you guys, but there’s still a lot to do here.”

“What happens next?” she asked as Andy escorted them out to the helicopter, the two of them supporting most of Ben’s weight. Agents covered every inch of the property, leading other members of the group out in handcuffs.

“Well, we take Yurgin and his people in. Hopefully whatever is on that flash drive will give us the names of people inside our government so they can join their friends in prison. But even without that drive, we have enough to charge Yurgin and his group.”

Leslie nodded slowly and looked back to the chopper in time to see the medic running towards them. He was coming to her first, standard protocol, but she waved him off.

“I’m fine. Ben needs help. I think he’s got a concussion, possibly some bruised or broken ribs, and there might be an infection starting in the open wounds on his back.”

“But, Madam President-”

“No, please, I’m fine. Just a little dehydrated. Hook me up to an IV or something when we get in the chopper, but take care of him first.”

The young man nodded and went to Ben’s side, hoisting him up into the chopper and onto the stretcher.

Leslie stared intently as the medic worked on Ben, hooking him up to some IV and injecting God only knows what into his back. The bandages that Leslie had put on him were now soaked and dirty, not surprising considering all that he had done in his condition in the last several minutes. The medic peeled back the last of the bandages and Leslie could only gasp at the mangled mess.

“Hey,” Andy said gently, nudging her on the knee until she looked at him. “He’ll be fine. Major Ben’s tough. Everything’s okay. It’s over now. You finally get to go home.”

That’s all she wanted, to go home. All she had been looking forward to the second she set foot in that cabin all of those weeks ago.

But now, the thought of going home only made her sick. Home to what? A country in turmoil? A people who will continue to fear for their lives no matter how many terrorists get indicted? A boyfriend with a brand new set of physical and emotional scars he might someday resent her for? Dreams haunted by the ghosts of everyone who died for her?

So, as the doors to the helicopter closed and they ascended into the air, Ben in a drug induced haze and an IV line running into her arm, Leslie stared out at the passing scenery and thought of home.

And for the first time in her life, the thought of home wasn’t all that comforting.

~~~~~

The hospital at the army base was swarming with soldiers and various other agents in response to the arrival of their long absent president.

Thankfully, Leslie’s injuries weren’t that severe, typical dehydration and some chaffed wrists where her hands were bound.

Ben was a different story.

An infection had started to form from the open wounds on his back, some of them needing stitches, and while they weren’t broken, his ribs were in need of care.

Through it all, Leslie refused to leave his side. But this wasn’t like the last time. This wasn’t out of some worry for his safety or manifestation of guilt. She couldn’t mentally handle the mere idea of being separated from him.

Ann was already at the hospital waiting when the chopper landed, and Leslie collapsed into tears in her best friend’s arms, squeezing her so tightly it must have been uncomfortable, but Ann didn’t seem to mind. She was crying herself and squeezing back just as hard.

Leslie didn’t pull away until she saw Ben being wheeled past her. She moved to follow, but several doctors blocked her.

“Madam President, you need to be evaluated for any injuries.”

She just shook her head, trying to push her way past them. “No, please, you don’t understand, I need to be with him.” Her voice grew frantic as Ben got farther and farther away. “Ben. Ben!” she screamed and continued to shove at the doctors and soldiers blocking her path.

“Leslie,” Ann came up beside her, “they need to check and make sure he’s okay. He needs an x-ray and if an infection is already starting on his back, they need to start him on antibiotics right away before it becomes toxic.”

But Leslie refused to listen to anyone, even Ann. She just continued to struggle and scream and cry as though their words meant nothing to her.

And they didn’t. She needed to be with Ben. Couldn’t they understand that?

So she fought against the hands trying to stop her, clawed at the faces that were in her way, kicked when she felt arms holding her back.

“Sedate her,” Ann said.

“Are we technically able to-” one of the doctors started to ask, but Ann cut him off.

“I’m her next of kin and she’s going to hurt herself if we don’t. She’s traumatized. Sedate her. Right now.”

Before she knew what was happening, she felt a sharp prick and it all faded to black.

~~~~~

Leslie woke with a jerk, convinced for just a second that she’d woken up back in the cell, but the white walls and a startled Ann sitting beside her brought it all back.

Her best friend noticed her agitation and tried to calm her. “Hey, Leslie, it’s okay. You’re okay. You’re at the hospital. You’re safe.”

“Ben. Where’s Ben. I need-”

“Ben’s fine. He has an infection, but they started him on antibiotics and are confident it won’t spread. The wounds were pretty bad, so he was in surgery for a little while, but he’s gonna be fine.” She stood up and moved back the curtain. Leslie sighed in relief when she saw Ben sleeping on his side in the neighboring bed. “We figured this would be easier on everyone.”

Leslie was only half listening now, already trying to take out her IV line and get out of bed.

“Whoa, Leslie, what are you doing? You’re severely dehydrated. You need fluids.”

“I need to go to him.”

“Okay, I get that. But leave the line in. We can wheel the bag over with you.”

Leslie ripped off the sheets and stood up on shaky legs, grasping the IV pole for support as she wheeled it across the room with her.

He looked so pale and vulnerable, and without giving it a second thought she climbed in beside him. “Don’t you dare try to stop me, Ann.”

She gave her a small smile. “I won’t. You’ve--you’ve been through a lot. I know you need to be with him right now.”

She tried to bring herself as close to him as possible, careful not to touch him too roughly or disturb his countless wires and bandages.

She wasn’t sure she’d ever have this again. In those few days on that cell, she had accepted their fate. She had to listen on helplessly as he was almost tortured to death, truly believing the next time she’d see him would be just before she died. To feel him, solid and warm and safe and alive, was indescribable.

She never wanted to leave.

After several minutes, Ann sighed, her hand gently rubbing Leslie’s back. “There are a lot of people that need to talk to you, Leslie. I’ll try to hold them off as much as I can, but you eventually have to tell them what they need to know.”

She nodded, her nose brushing against the fabric of Ben’s hospital gown. Having to relive her experience was the last thing she wanted to think about. All she wanted was to run away with Ben and never be bothered again.

It was unrealistic, she knew that. She’d been gone long enough, and she had a job to do. Her time locked inside of the bubble with Ben was over. But she never appreciated that time in the cabin more than she did right now.

She turned around to face Ann, gently grabbing Ben’s arm and guiding it over her waist. “What happened since we got back?”

“Well, you’ve been out for a few days. I, uhm, I had them sedate you when you first got here. You weren’t in the right state of mind and interfered with Ben’s treatment. After that, your body just needed its rest.” She swallowed and blinked back tears. “I’m so sorry Leslie. I just wish there was more that we all could have done or-”

“No, Ann, it’s okay. You all have been so wonderful. and I’m so grateful that you’re on my team.”

“We were just so scared. After the ambush at the cabin, we feared the worst. We hadn’t heard anything for days, and then that message came through. It was the best news we could have ever gotten.”

Leslie smiled sadly. “That was all Jackson. He sent that not even knowing if it would work. But it did.”

Ann reached out and gripped Leslie’s hand. “I’m so sorry about Malcolm. Andy told us about him. He was very brave, and I’ll be thankful to him forever for getting you guys back to us.”

Leslie nodded and ignored the tears that sprang up at the mention of Jackson. “So, where did that message even get sent to?” she asked trying to change the subject. “Who found it?”

“You’re not going to believe it,” Ann laughed while shaking her head. “So, Malcolm sent it to an older system that isn't used much anymore, which makes sense if he’s been out for ten years, so it didn’t reach any of the main channels in intelligence. Jerry actually found it by accident on one of the older systems. Almost ruined the computer because he spilled his coffee all over it.”

Leslie stared at shock before she joined in her friend’s laughter. She laughed until tears were streaming down her face because of course--of course Jerry would be the one to find the most important message of their entire lives. All because he couldn’t have something in his hands without dropping it.

And now, she owed him her life. The irony was just too much.

“Wow,” Leslie sighed as their laughter died down. “Thank you. I needed that.”

“It’s the God’s honest truth. I couldn’t have made up a story that good even if I tried.”

“And everyone else? How are they?”

“Better now that we know you’re okay. It’s been--it’s been a bad couple of weeks. As soon as they’re cleared to come on the base, they want to see you.”

The thought of finally seeing her friends again after so long brought more tears, but she managed to keep those at bay. “And the list that Malcolm had with the people they had on the inside...none of there were…”

She couldn’t finish the question. The thought that anyone who was in their inner circle, the people she loved and trusted, could have been involved in something like this was too much to bear.

“No, no,” Ann said quickly. “I don’t know of everyone, but last I knew, Andy and Chris were investigating Milton, Dexhart, Jamm and a few others. The files were pretty heavily encrypted, so we don’t have a complete list yet.”

It was still a tough thing to process. Even though none of her friends were on Yurgin’s payroll, there was still a long list of people within her government that were. Even more people responsible for everything that happened.

She could just imagine the media backlash she’d get for not knowing these people were dirty and functioning within her government, not to mention the difficult task it would be to replace them. But whatever criticism she got would be well deserved. How could she have not known what was going in under her nose? What was it that she had done as a leader to have so many people willing to turn their backs on her?

“Stop it,” Ann’s voice rang out.

“Stop what?”

“I can see you thinking too hard and coming up with ways to blame yourself for what happened. Stop. None of this is your fault. No one--no one--knew who was in on this. They worked more closely with a lot of other people, and no one suspected anything. Leave the blame with the people who deserve it.”

She wasn’t about to argue with Ann that she was one of those people.

“Fine. I’m sorry. It’s just...it’s a lot right now. My brian is a jumbled mess and there’s so much to do now and a lot of damage control. Last I heard, the country was already on the brink of hysteria, and that was before me and Ben were taken. I can’t imagine how everything is now. And then there’s the trial and I have to give my statement and--”

“Hey, it’s okay. Just calm down. Don’t think of any of that right now We both know what needs to be done, but not today. There’s enough good people still left to handle everything until you’re ready. Just focus on getting better and helping Ben get better, too. We’re your team, remember? You don’t have to go through any of this alone.” Ann stood up and gave Leslie a quick kiss on the cheek. “I have to go and handle some stuff, okay? I’ll be back in a little while. You just rest.”

She gave Ann the most grateful and heartfelt smile she could muster, and did her best to take her advice once she left. Telling her brain to turn off was a near impossible task on a good day, let alone now.

She turned back around to face Ben, her eyes looking over his sleeping face covered in fading bruises. She pressed feather-light kisses on every one of them before settling on his mouth, sighing as their chapped lips brushed one another.

Closing her eyes, she pressed her ear against his chest and focused on his heart’s sturdy rhythm as she tried to clear her mind.

She fell asleep enveloped in his warmth, the constant thump in her ear a reminder that Yurgin wasn’t able to take everything away from her. She still had her friends, and as hard as that bastard tried, she still had Ben.

Together, they could face anything.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Yurgin and his group in custody, Ben and Leslie do their best to deal with the aftermath of their experience, and it'll either bring them closer together, or tear them apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe how close we are to the end! This will be the last chapter before the epilogue, so there's a lot of tying up of loose ends and just a glimpse into what Ben and Leslie go through as they readjust. I honestly feel like this universe could go on forever, and I would definitely love to revisit it in the future, either through one shots or another story if there's interest. 
> 
> As always, thank you SO much for all of your support and interest in this story. It's the only thing keeping me going.

The first sensation Ben felt when he drifted awake was warmth. Not a painful one like he had felt on his back, when it felt like flames were ripping his skin apart. Not a flush from the fever that came with his infection.

No, this was a comforting warmth, a warmth that made him want to curl into it and fall back asleep.

When he felt the shift next to him and realized that his hand was curled around the very familiar curve of Leslie’s hip, he allowed himself to relax. He always teased her about being a little human furnace, but he was never more grateful for her higher than normal body temperature than in that moment.

He opened his eyes slowly and got a faceful of blond hair, but he didn’t mind that either. It was just another thing to comfort him. Under any other circumstances, it’d be just like waking up in the cabin with Leslie in his arms.

The constant sound of the heart monitor and stark, white walls clued him into the fact that he was in a hospital. He had that pleasant, floating feeling that he knew all too well came from whatever drugs were in his IV, and while he was never his best when heavily medicated, he’d rather this pleasant disconnect than whatever pain he’d be feeling otherwise.

At some point, Leslie’s breathing changed and she turned over with a yawn. Her eyes blinked and then widened when she noticed that Ben was awake, and her smile was so big and bright, it felt like butterflies were filling his stomach.

“You’re awake.”

Her voice was still raspy from sleep, and it was the most beautiful sound in the world.

He nodded and cleared his throat. “How long was I out?”

“A few days.” She tucked her head into the crook of his neck and sighed, her hands clutching the front of his hospital gown. “You had an infection starting in your back and they had to take you into surgery to fix up some of the worst of the cuts. But they said you should be fine.”

Between the dull ache in his ribs and the stiffness in his back from the bandages, he couldn’t really move his arm, so he settled for gently rubbing his thumb on her hip. Anything to keep touching her. “What about you? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Better now that you’re awake. They-” Her voice hitched and she took a few deep breaths. “They didn’t...hurt me when we were there. Just kept me tied up. All I had were a few bruises on my wrists and was dehydrated.”

She tried to make it sound so nonchalant, but he knew better. The emotional scars were always the ones that lasted. Long after the physical ones faded away, they would still be there. But she was alive and safe and in his arms. He didn’t want to think about anything other than that right now.

He buried his face in her hair and breathed in deeply, puckering his lips just enough to kiss her forehead. “Not that I’m complaining, but shouldn’t you have your own bed somewhere resting and getting fluids.”

“Way ahead of you. Ann took care of all that.” She lifted her hand and he could see the IV line. “They knew I wouldn’t leave you alone, so my bed is next to yours and the IV pole rolls. So here I am.” She sniffed. “I couldn’t leave you. I can’t.” She shook her head and he could tell she was trying not to cry. “I almost lost you.”

He closed his eyes tightly and pressed another kiss into her hair. He almost lost her, too. He knew what that felt like. If he had his way, he’d never let Leslie out of his sight again. “You didn’t. I’m right here, and I’m not going anywhere.”

She tilted her head up and peppered soft kisses on his jaw before curling back into his chest. “I’m so sorry,” she choked out. “I love you so much and you almost died because of me.”

She started sobbing, then. Deep, gut wrenching cries that shook her entire body. It was all finally catching up to her. Everything they experienced, every terrible moment she had forced herself to ignore to remain strong was now bubbling to the surface. He cursed his immobile limbs for not being able to properly hold her.

“No,” he murmured against her forehead. “Don’t even think that. It’s not true at all.”

“It is. And if you don’t see it now, one day you will and you’ll never be able to forgive me.”

“Never. I love you. I love you more than anything in this world, and I know none of this is your fault. Not a single thing.”

“But you can blame yourself?” she said back. “I know you’re thinking the same things I am, but about yourself.”

She was right. He was thinking the same things, but it had been his job, not hers, to keep her safe. He was the one that failed, not her. “Leslie, it was my responsibility-”

“No,” she cut him off. “If I can’t blame myself then you can’t either.”

He nodded, but knew it wasn’t going to stop either of them from doing it anyway. Guilt was tricky that way. It didn’t see logic or reason, didn’t listen no matter many times someone said it wasn’t your fault. It just...was.

“They’re going to want us to give statements soon,” she hiccupped.

“Yeah, I expected as much.”

“I don’t think I can do it. Not just the statement part, but everything. How will I ever be able to do my job again? I can’t think about what happened without wanting to fall apart. If I even just imagine being away from you, I can’t breathe. I killed someone, Ben! What if I’m just not...fit to do it anymore? How can I run a nation like this? What if he took that away from me too?”

It was almost hard to believe that the trembling woman in his arms was President Leslie Knope, but at the same time, it wasn’t. She was stronger than she gave herself credit for, that much was true, but she was still human. She needed to be reminded of that sometimes.

“I don’t think anyone could walk away from what we experienced unscathed,” he said to her. “And no one can possibly expect you to pretend as though nothing happened. You’re so strong, Leslie, and what’s going on inside your head right now doesn’t make you weak. It’ll take time, but you can do it. And you’re not alone. You have so many people who will help you. You just need to stop being so afraid to ask for that help. Asking for help doesn’t make you weak either. And if you need to talk to somebody to help work through everything, I’ll support you.”

“Did you...did you talk to someone?”

“Yeah, I did. For a while actually. It was mandatory at first, after I tried to...kill myself. God, I hated him, but that was because I was angry at myself and took it out on him. But after a while, I realized that it was helping. I still call him from time to time when things get particularly bad. There’s no magical cure. I wish there was, but there’s not. All we can both do is keep going as best as we can. If we give up, it’s like letting Yurgin win.”

“I don’t understand how you can be so calm right now. Aren’t you scared, too?”

His hand tightened on her hip. “Of course I am. I’m terrified. I was tortured. I almost lost you. I can already picture the nightmares I know are going to haunt my sleep. I have a thousand different scenarios running through my head of how you’re going to realize I caused all of this and leave me, how I’m nothing more than a mess of physical and psychological scars. I can hear it all in my mind. That I’ll never be good enough or deserve your love.”

She kissed his neck. “None of that’s true.”

“Logically, I know that, and being with you has helped me so much in so many ways. You helped me realize that it was okay to love myself again. I hate Yurgin for everything he did to you, but the most from what he’s still trying to take away. And just like what I’m thinking isn’t true, neither is what’s going on inside your head. Believe me, I understand that there’s a difference between knowing something and actually believing it. It takes time, but we’ll get through it. Together.”

He pressed his lips to her forehead again for a lingering, almost desperate kiss. “Everything will be okay. I promise.”

He had no business making a promise like that. There was no way to know for sure. He was so far gone himself at that point, he didn’t know what good he could be in helping Leslie. Right now, they were just two broken people trying to help put each other back together.

So, no, he wasn’t sure if this was a promise he could keep, but he was most certainly going to try.

~~~~~

On his second lucid day at the hospital, Leslie was officially taken off the IV. They wanted to still keep her for observation, and he assumed that was code for keeping an eye on her mental health. It would have been pointless to discharge her anyway. It’s not like she would have left. She still refused to sleep in her own bed, a fact that Ben was more than fine with. He was going to relish in their codependence for as long as was allowed.

The tearful reunion came on day three, when everyone had finally been granted clearance to get onto the base and he was deemed well enough for visitors.

He watched from his bed as Leslie embraced each and every one of her friends, who were equally emotional. Even Ron’s eyes looked a bit red when he hugged Leslie before stepping back and clearing his throat.

Ben was shocked by just how emotional he was during this time as well, especially surprised at how genuinely happy and relieved they were to see him, too. It felt...nice to have people who cared about him again. He almost forgot what that was like.

Leslie sat next to him on the bed, her hand absentmindedly running through his hair or touching some part of him as she smiled widely and talked with everyone. Thankfully, no one brought up the elephant in the room. No one asked about them being taken, no one brought up the upcoming trial or their impending statements. No talk about the civil unrest or elevated paranoia that was now running rampant in Pawnee. They were just grateful to have their friends back safe and sound.

If he didn’t know any better, it was as though everything was back to normal.

But it wasn’t. That became clear when they tried to take Ben down for an MRI to check for possible head trauma, and Leslie had a panic attack that wouldn’t subside until long after they agreed to let her accompany him.

It was clear when he had a flashback in the middle of the day and almost attacked a poor nurse who was just trying to change the dressing on his back, when Leslie woke up screaming from nightmares.

On day four, they met with Dr. Richard Nygard, one of Pawnee’s most well respected psychiatrists who specialized in treating military and government officials who have experienced significant trauma. Standard protocol called for Leslie and Ben to be evaluated separately, but Leslie’s refusal to leave his side only made the diagnosis easier.

Post traumatic stress disorder was nothing new to Ben, but to hear those words, along with separation anxiety, directed towards Leslie made his stomach lurch. He wouldn’t wish what he had experienced on anyone, let alone her.

But she took the news with a dull nod, almost like she anticipated it. Her expression remained blank as the doctor talked them through options and recommended they continue seeing him for treatment.

On day five, Andy, Chris, and Trumple came to their room with tight, apologetic smiles. It seemed that they couldn’t put off giving their statements any longer. Dozens of members of the group and those believed to be aiding them were awaiting indictment, and Ben and Leslie’s statements were essential.

As soon as Leslie saw them, she curled next to Ben and shook her head, muttering things even he couldn’t hear or understand.

“We know that there is no right time for something like this,” Chris said in his overly understanding tone, “but your accounts of what happened are of the utmost importance. We tried to wait as long as we could, but we are under a lot of pressure to handle this as quickly as possible.”

“I can’t,” she whispered. “Please don’t make me.”

Ben loosely wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close, looking up at the three men. “Can you just give us a minute. Let me--let me try to talk to her.”

They nodded, and shuffled out, clearly uncomfortable at seeing Leslie, usually so composed and professional, behaving this way.

“Hey,” he said softly, bumping his nose into her hair. “I know you don’t want to do this, but it’s really important.”

“I know. And I hate myself because I just can’t.”

“It’ll be hard, but I know you can do it. And Andy’ll be there with you. I’m sure he’ll be more than happy to sit with you and help you through it.”

She looked up at him in horror. “Won’t you be in there with me too?”

“I can’t. We can’t be with one another when we give our statements. They have to make sure they match up on their own. It’s not ethical if we give them together.”

She let out a shaky breath. “I hate that I feel this way. I hate that I almost forget what it’s like to sleep through the night. I hate that the thought of being away from you sends me into a panic. I hate that I don’t feel like me anymore. What am I supposed to do?”

“We’re just going to take one day at a time. That’s all we can do. And about your statement, I’m sure we can think of something." His eyes searched the room and landed on the window facing the hall that was covered by a set of blinds. “Would it help if you could at least see me even if I can’t be in the room?”

She shrugged. “It’ll be better than nothing, I guess.”

So that’s what was done. When Trumple, Andy, and Chris came back into the room, they requested a nurse pull back the blinds, and once Ben was transferred to a wheelchair, he parked himself on the other side of the window.

It felt like hours sitting there, watching as Leslie struggled with whatever questions she was being asked. Andy sat down next to her on the bed, and there were times Ben saw him grip her hand or pull her against his shoulder. He wished more than anything that it was him in there to comfort her, but the small look of relief she had every time their eyes met was enough to make him feel useful.

When it was Ben’s turn, Leslie took his place out in the hall. She ran her hands nervously through her hair several times before putting them in her lap and picking at her nails.

Ben didn’t look away until Chris pulled out his phone and hit record.

“This is Lieutenant Colonel Chris Traeger taking the witness statement. Could you please state your name and occupation for the record?”

“Major Benjamin Wyatt, Intelligence Analyst for the Pawnee Army.”

“And your involvement in this case?”

“I was called in from the Border to look into the threats made against President Knope. I was then appointed as her primary bodyguard.”

“And would you please give your version of events for the dates in question?”

Ben dropped his chin to his chest and swallowed. “It was my birthday, and Leslie--Leslie had thrown me a surprise party. It started during the shift change. Me, Leslie, and Andy were alone in the cabin when we heard shots fired. We tried to escape into the woods, and that’s when Director Dwyer was shot. Leslie and I kept going and made it to the rendezvous point by the following morning, but we were ambushed. I was attacked and nearly choked to death by an assailant working for James Yurgin, but Leslie...she killed him. After that, we planned to hike to the nearest town for help, but I was knocked unconscious and woke up in a cell at the compound.”

Ben stopped and stared down at his hands. He could just imagine the bonds that were once there, could practically feel the material rubbing against his skin. He shivered when he remembered just how cold the cell was.

“And what happened next?”

"After a while, the door opened and Yurgin walked in with another man, a man we later found out to be Malcolm Jackson, former Pawnee Special Forces. I almost couldn’t believe my eyes at first. We all thought Jimmy was dead, but there he was. Right in front of me. He admitted everything to me. How he was behind the bombing at ICE Town, that he was in charge of the group and was behind the threats to Leslie. Then he told me that I was being used as leverage. That he had made some kind of proposition to Leslie and everyday she refused, I’d be punished.” The memory caused Ben’s back to throb. “I was...tortured for the next several days, each day worse than the one before. They wouldn’t stop until I screamed my throat raw. He wanted Leslie to hear me. To punish her by punishing me.”

“Did James Yurgin physically assault you?”

“Not directly, no. Jackson was the one, you know, beating me. But Yurgin told him what to do each time and when to stop.”

Ben looked up at Chris for the first time and noticed how much his story was upsetting him too, but he remained professional. “Then what happened?”

“I passed out that last day. Not sure for how long. I came to when Leslie and Jackson came to my cell. They helped me walk through the compound and we had made it to the mechanical room before the alarms sounded and we were locked inside. Leslie and Jackson went to try and reset the circuit breaker and get us out, but before they could, Yurgin found us. He shot Jackson and almost killed Leslie.”

Ben closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose as he tried to push the image of Yurgin holding Leslie in front of him with a gun to her head.

“He used Leslie as a human shield so I wouldn’t shoot him, and threatened to kill her himself. Andy arrived just in time and shot him before he could. That’s when we were rescued and brought back here.”

Chris nodded before looking down at his notes. “And Malcolm Jackson. What can you tell me about him?”

“We thought he was working for Yurgin at first, but he claimed and had evidence that he was there undercover. President Robert Knope sent him there to infiltrate the group ten years ago and gather as much information as possible. He’s the one that helped us escape and sent the message to Pawnee about our whereabouts. He had a flash drive around his neck when he died that contained information about the group and their plans, along with the names of those within our government who were on Yurgin’s payroll."

Chris stopped recording and gave Ben an encouraging smile. "I think that's all we need for now." He closed the notebook in his lap and laid a hand on Ben's shoulder. "I'm sure that must have been difficult for you, but we are very grateful for your cooperation and for your bravery. I can't tell you how happy I am that you're okay, friend."

Andy moved next to him and smiled. "Me too, Major Ben."

Even Trumple, with his intimidating demeanor, softened. "You did good, son. You have a very promising future ahead of you, Lieutenant Colonel."

Ben froze. His eyes widened and he looked up to find Trumple giving him a small smile. "You've earned it. More than earned it."

"But, sir, I really didn't-"

"Save it," Trumple held up his hand. "Just take the promotion and compliment. This country owes you a debt of gratitude. I know you're settled at the Border, but we could use you here at headquarters once you're cleared for duty if you're interested in moving to the Capital."

As if he could turn down an opportunity like that. This was everything he had been working for, and now that he had Leslie, there was no way he'd willingly go back to the Border and away from her.

Ben looked out of the window at Leslie, who despite her obvious worry at the interview taking so long, did her best to give him an encouraging smile.

He smiled back. "Sir, nothing would make me happier."

Three sets of handshakes and congratulations were passed around, Andy unable to contain his excitement that Ben would be moving to the Capital permanently.

"We'll keep you posted on the progression of the indictments," Chris said. "We're going to do everything we can to make sure they pay for what they've done."

Leslie jumped up from her chair when she saw them gathering their things to leave, lingering outside of the door just long enough to say her own goodbyes before running back to the room.

"How'd it go. Are you okay? What happened?"

Ben let out a deep breath as she sat down beside him, but even he was surprised when it was one of contentment and relief. "It went...okay, actually. I'm just glad it's over." He took her hand. "How was yours?"

"It was hard. But you were right. Having Andy in there with me and being able to still see you helped."

"That's good." He played with her fingers and did his best to suppress a smile. "There was some good news, though."

"Yeah? What's that?"

"It appears that you were right, as usual. Trumple just informed me that there were some openings at Intelligence here at the Capital, and he wanted to know if Lieutenant Colonel Ben Wyatt was interested."

Her head shot up and a wide grin split her face. "Are you serious?" He nodded and she wrapped her arms around his neck to pull him into a hug. "Oh my God, congratulations. Lieutenant Colonel. Wow." She pulled away and searched his face. "You--you’re gonna take it, right?”

“Already accepted.” He smiled and nudged her shoulder. “I hear there are a lot of perks of moving here.”

“Oh yeah? And what might those be?”

“Well, the number one thing has got to be the bigger office, for sure. Followed closely by your numerous public transportation options.”

She lightly punched him in the shoulder and actually giggled. It might have been the first time he’d heard her laugh in ages.

“Oh yeah, and there might be a certain President that lives here who I’m madly in love with. That’s a plus, too, I guess.”

“What a coincidence. I’ve heard that she’s got a thing for strapping Maj--Lieutenant Colonels. You might have a chance with her.”

“Well that’s good to know.”

“Did Trumple say when he wanted you to start?”

“As soon as I get cleared for active duty again, which might take a little while. But that’s okay. It’ll give me time to find a place and move the rest of my things and--”

“Move in with me,” she blurted out.

“What?”

“I want you to move in with me. I mean, it makes sense. We’ve been living together for the last few months anyway, and we love each other and it’ll be easier for both of us.”

He looked away from her and ran a hand behind his neck. “Leslie, are you sure this is something you really want? You might...you might not be thinking too clearly right now and are rushing into a decision. I just don’t want you to regret this.”

Her lower lip trembled. “Is it that you don’t want to live with me?”

“No! No, it’s not that at all. I know it might seem like we’re moving too fast, but I love you and our living together before just felt...right. But we’re both going through alot right now, and I don’t want this to tear us apart.”

She reached up and pulled him in for a soft kiss. “I understand what you’re saying, but I’m sure this is what I want. I know it’ll be hard, but we’re the only ones that really understand what the other is going through. And yes, I’ll admit a part of it is out of fear. I’m afraid of being alone, I’m afraid of waking up without you next to me and not knowing if you’re okay, but I’m afraid for you, too. We’re just better together than apart.” She laid her head on his shoulder. “Besides, the rent in this city is ridiculous.”

It was his turn to laugh, peering over at her. “Well, see, you should have started with that right there. That’s by far been your strongest argument. How can I say no to that?”

She twined her fingers with his, and he was once again amazed by how well they fit together. “We’re in this together, right?”

He brought their joined hands to his lips and held them to his chest.

“Together.”

~~~~~

He jerked awake when he heard her cry out in her sleep. He looked over with bleary eyes and saw her squirming next to him, clutching at the sheets with a tight fist.

It had been over a month since they were released from the hospital and started their transition back to “normal” life.

As if anything could ever really be the same again.

Leslie focused on working with Ron and catching up on everything that she had missed during her months away, while Ben worked on his physical recovery and getting settled in the Capital.

It hadn’t been easy for either of them. It took a lot just for the two of them to be able to be physically apart from one another, let alone tackle all of the other responsibilities that awaited them.

But they did what they had to do. It was almost too much at first, between the media frenzy at their return and coverage of the upcoming trials. It seemed like everyone wanted to hear their story, and talking was the last thing either wanted to do.

Thankfully, her staff stepped up, just like they always do. Ron still handled a lot of things as her proxy, and Donna took care of everything revolving around the press. Tom used his natural charm and charisma to quell any fears from foreign diplomats about the state of Pawnee and its leader, while April worked twice as hard to make sure Leslie’s life at work was a little easier. Ann stopped by almost daily to check up on both of their progress, making sure they were taking their meds and healing nicely.

The second week back, Leslie ended up making a National Address, something she couldn’t avoid no matter how much she wanted to, and spoke about Pawnee’s strength and solidarity and how they would not be shaken by what happened. They were stronger than Yurgin and his group, or anyone that wanted to come against them. The Pawnee way of life would never be taken away.

He was once again amazed by her. That she could stand up in front of the entire country and speak such eloquent words, be the face of strength and bravery when she was going through so much astounded him. He didn’t feel worthy standing at her side, but when she had finished and reached out to squeeze his hand, her smile so full of love and gratitude, it drove those thoughts from his mind.

Ben spent most of his time at the Capitol Building. Even though he wasn’t cleared to come back to work yet, he still did his best to remain useful. Sometimes that just meant being close to Leslie. It was easier for her to focus and stay calm if she knew he was nearby.

He never went back to the Border. Leslie couldn’t leave the Capital and there was no way that she would be able to cope with him being on the other side of the country. She was still getting used to having him on the other side of the building. To be honest, he probably wouldn’t survive a single night on his own. There was nothing left for him there, anyway. His future was here, with Leslie. He simply called a moving company and had them ship the rest of his few belongings to the Capital.

Moving in with Leslie was about as easy as they both thought it would be. It was familiar to them now. Things were far from perfect, they still fought over how much whipped cream occupying their fridge was too much, he still had to sneak vegetables into her food without her noticing, she had to consciously monitor her hoarding tendencies, but it worked. They were stronger together than they could ever be apart.

Unfortunately, nights like this were all too common for the both of them, the nightmares that wouldn’t allow them to sleep peacefully. She’d dream of finding him dead on that cell floor, he’d see Yurgin pull the trigger and watch Leslie die before his eyes.

She was whimpering his name in her sleep, and her eyes were squeezed tight, but that didn’t stop the few tears from seeping out of them.

He moved his hand to her shoulder and gently shook. “Shh, sweetheart, it’s okay. Wake up. It’s just a dream.”

It took a few more tries, but her eyes eventually flew open as she sat up quickly, frantically looking around the dark room until her eyes landed on him.

He was prepared when she threw herself into his arms in a fierce hug, choking back another sob as she tried to separate what was real from her nightmares. He could tell this one was bad by just how much she was shaking.

“It’s okay,” he said softly in her ear. “It’s okay. I’m here. I’ve got you.”

She kept whispering “you’re alive” to herself over and over again.

“You wanna talk about it?”

She shook her head and held onto him tighter. She’d tell him eventually, she almost always did. Dr. Nygard said talking about it outloud would help. Sometimes it did, but not always. There were some nightmares too dark to share with anyone else, some things the other person didn’t need the burden of knowing.

“When will they go away?”

He didn’t have an answer for her. Not a good one, at least. He had been asking himself that same question for twenty years, and the truth was that they won’t ever go away. Sure, they’d get better over time, but they'll never fully leave.

He stayed quiet except for the soft words of comfort he whispered into her ear, and she eventually calmed down a bit. He tried to coax her back to lying down on the bed with him, but she resisted.

“I can’t--I can’t go back to sleep right now.”

“Okay, you don’t have to. How about we try to find something to relax you. You want me to make you some tea?”

She made a face. “I don’t think I can stomach anything right now.”

“Alright. How about I draw you a warm bath. That usually helps, doesn’t it?”

Her eyes lit up briefly before a conflicted look crossed her face and she frowned. “You should go back to bed. I’ll be fine.”

She tried to look away but Ben tucked a finger under chin and turned her to face him. “Hey, we’ve talked about this, okay? No feeling guilty when it comes to nightmares. You stay with me when I wake you up, and I do it with you. We’re a team, right?”

“Yeah…”

“So if it’ll help, let me do this for you, okay?”

She bit her lip and agreed. “Thank you.”

He kissed her cheek before getting out of bed, extending his hand for her to follow him into the bathroom.

She sat unmoving on the toilet seat as he turned on the faucet and began filling to tub with hot water, adding a few drops of lavender bath oil that always seemed to calm her down.

As the water filled up, he started unbuttoning her pajama top and placed it on the sink before helping her stand. He kneeled and pulled down her bottoms, Leslie putting her hands on Ben’s shoulders to keep her balance as she stepped out of them.

Without missing a beat, he stripped out of his t-shirt and boxers, tossing them next to her clothes before turning off the tap and stepping into the warm water. He held out his hand and helped her slowly sit down in front of him.

“Thank you,” she said softly as her back rested against his chest. “I don’t want to be alone right now.”

“And I was in the mood for a bath with a beautiful lady. Looks like we both win,” he teased lightly and kissed her temple.

He moved one hand to her hip while the other softly stroked her upper thigh, and she closed her eyes with a sigh.

“I see his face every time I close my eyes,” she said softly. “I see him hurting you, I can feel him still holding that gun to my head. I just want it all to go away, but it’s always there. How were you able to handle it for so long?”

He thought about the scars on his wrists. “I almost didn’t. But you’re stronger than I ever was. It’s hard, and sometimes it feels like it’s impossible to keep going, but you can. I have you to help me, and you will always have me. It does eventually get better, I promise.”

They sat together like this for a while, neither saying a word. The bath was helping some, but Leslie’s body still felt a little tense. Ben moved his fingers from her hip and ran them along the length of her lower belly slowly while the hand on her thigh slowly moved upward. He started peppering kisses along her face and neck.

“I want to help you relax,” he said into her ear before taking the lobe between his teeth. “Is this okay? Can I make you feel good?”

Her breath hitched and she licked her lips. She stayed silent, only nodded slowly and leaned back fully against his chest.

The one hand moved even farther up her thigh while his other skimmed her ribcage on its way to her breast. Her back arched and the other breast not currently covered by his hand peaked out of the water.

He toyed with her for a little while, his fingers grazing over every inch of her skin that he could reach. His mouth attached itself to the curve of her shoulder as he circled her clit, his tongue on her skin mimicking the slow movements of his thumb.

When he slid two fingers inside of her, her mouth dropped open and her gasp was almost silent. One hand reached behind her to pull on his hair while the other gripped at the side of the tub. He kept his rhythm slow despite the insistent roll of her hips.

She was quiet tonight, her breathy moans and whimpers almost drowned out by the splashing of the water. But when he hit the perfect spot just right and her hand tightened in his hair, when his lips moved behind her ear and she bit her lip, he knew it was what she needed.

She didn’t make a sound when she came, but he had to bite back a groan when he felt her contract around his fingers. Her whole body tensed and nearly rose completely out of the water before falling limp against him. She was flushed and her chest was heaving, and he couldn’t get over how beautiful she was.

They sat there until the water grew cold, and Ben wrapped her in the fluffiest towel they owned. They climbed back into bed and curled around one another without bothering to redress.

“Better?” he asked, and she nodded before pressing a kiss to his chest.

“Yes, thank you.”

He tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and kissed her forehead. “I love you.”

He couldn’t see it, but he knew she was smiling. “I love you, too.”

They slept straight through until morning.

~~~~~

“Hey, babe, can you bring the flour back over here when you’re done?”

He went back to mixing his dough in the bowl at the kitchen counter as Leslie finished with her brownies.

“Yup.” She pulled out the wooden spoon and wiped a blob of batter off with her finger. “Oh, my God,” she moaned, “you’ve got to try this.”

She walked over with the flour in one hand and the spoon in the other. She put the bag down next to his mixing bowl and held out the spoon to him.

Instead of reaching out to get his own sample, he simply opened his mouth and never once stopped mixing.

“You’re the worst, you know that?” she said with a roll of her eyes but still smiled when Ben took her brownie coated finger in his mouth.

“Hmm,” he nodded in agreement, “that’s amazing. Just the right balance of chocolate and--” he smacked his lips, “do I detect a hint of Leslie extract? How’d you know that’s my favorite flavor?”

He laughed at his own lame joke and couldn’t blame her when she groaned and slapped his arm. “That was bad.”

“I know,” he shrugged, “but you love me anyway.”

She dabbed some brownie batter onto his nose and ran away with a cackle. Ben kept her laughter going by staring at the blob cross-eyed and attempting to flick it off with his tongue.

He found himself doing that often, trying to get her to laugh even if it was at his own expense. That sound didn’t come nearly as often as it used to, but he was doing everything in his power to make it a regular occurrence.

Her laughter didn’t die down until her batter was poured into the pan and put into the oven. She walked back over to his side of the kitchen and hopped onto the counter next to him.

“So, remind me again what you’re doing?” she asked with a skeptically raised eyebrow and legs swinging freely.

“I’m making a dessert calzone, which is basically the same as a pie.”

“If you say so, weirdo.”

“Trust me, when I’m finished with this, you’ll fully be in the dessert calzone camp.”

“I’m going on the record as being very doubtful of this endeavor. You should have just let me make a pie.”

He looked at her, offended. “Hey, these baking binges are always your idea, and I want to use this time now as a way to express my own creativity and broaden my horizons. That’s what this is all about, right?”

“I always thought it was about dessert.”

“You lack true vision.”

He heard that laugh again as she leaned back on the counter, watching him as he spread the flour on the surface where he planned on kneading the dough.

“You remember the first time we did this?” she asked in a wistful voice.

“Of course. I was forced into a confined space with the woman I had a huge crush on that also happened to be my boss, and try not to declare my love for her as she fed me brownie batter.”

“You kept getting flour in your hair.”

He put his mouth next to her ear. “I’ll let you in on a little secret,” he whispered. “After the first time, I did it on purpose just so you’d run your hands through it to get the flour out.”

“And here I thought you were just clumsy in the kitchen.”

He held up his flour-coated hands threateningly. “Clumsy? Clumsy, you say? Don’t make me show you how clumsy I can really be.”

She hopped off of the counter with a shriek and ran to the other side of the kitchen. “Benjamin Wyatt, don’t you dare. No!”

He lunged after her and she squealed when he branded her with two large, white handprints on her ass. He got a good grip around her waist as her laughter died down, planting kisses up and down her neck.

“No fair,” she whined. “You’re faster than me.”

“I invite you to come running with me in the mornings.”

“Yeah, like that’ll ever happen.”

She ran her hands through Ben’s hair as he continued his assault on her neck, and the both of them groaned when the phone rang.

Leslie started to walk towards the noise, and Ben refused to give up his hold her, instead choosing to shuffle along awkwardly behind her.

“Ben, I need to get that. It’s probably important.”

“No one’s stopping you,” he said against her skin.

He nipped at the juncture of her neck and shoulder just as she answered the phone, only winking when she stuck out her tongue in annoyance.

“Oh, hey, Chris, what’s up?”

At that, he pulled away and gave her a curious look, but she held up a finger as she listened to whatever Chris was saying.

It wasn’t long before she gripped Ben’s shirt and her knees nearly buckled, saying a quick thank you before hanging up.

“What’s wrong? Les, what happened? What did Chris want?”

With every second that passed without an answer he grew more worried, especially when she turned and hid her face in his chest. He almost picked up the phone to call Chris himself when she started crying, but she pulled away with a smile on her face. They were tears of relief, not sadness.

“It’s over. It’s finally over.”

“Wait, you mean--”

“Guilty on all charges. Life without the possibility of parole.”

He almost couldn’t believe it. He stared at her, dumbfounded, not quite knowing how to feel. After everything he had put them through, after twenty years of being tortured by his memory, Ben had the satisfaction of knowing James Yurgin would spend the rest of his life behind bars.

She crashed into him again, and they held each other in the middle of their kitchen for what felt like hours. There were tears now from the both of them as the weight of everything seemed to lift from their shoulders. The weight of not knowing, the fear that any moment something could go wrong and he’d be let go, it was all gone.

“He can’t hurt us anymore,” she said. It was a declaration, but also a reassurance, a reminder against the inevitable moments of fear and doubt that were going to come.

“Never,” he murmured. “Never again.”

She pulled back and lifted her hands to his cheeks. “Thank you,” she said before kissing him. “Thank you for everything you’ve done. The only good thing he ever did was bring you into my life. I just wish it could have happened some other way.”

He knew that feeling. He often fantasized about what it might have been like between the two of them if this had never happened. How many other infinite scenarios that could have ended with them together. But in the end, this was their reality. It wasn’t perfect, not by a long shot, but it was all they had.

She sighed. “I almost don’t know what we’re supposed to do now. It’s been a part of us for so long.”

The oven timer went off just then, and all he could think about was the normalcy of their current situation. Only moments ago, they were laughing in their kitchen as though there wasn’t a care in the world.

Everything Yurgin tried to do to them failed. They were stronger than their experiences, and while they definitely shaped who they were, they weren’t going to let it control where they were going.

He kissed her again. Kissed her with every ounce of love he could muster.

“Now, we live.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for making it this far with me! The Epilogue should be coming shortly.
> 
> Let me know if you have an interest in prompts or ideas for stories within this universe. You can find me on tumblr @ benwyattforcongress


	20. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He was done running. ICE Town would always be a part of him, no matter how hard he had tried to forget, but it made him who he was. Everything in his past brought him to this very moment in the present.
> 
> But Leslie? She was his future, and wherever she was would be be his home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it, folks. The FINAL chapter of Crossing Borders. I know I've been alternating POV and this is technically Leslie's turn, I felt that since we started with Ben and his story, we end with him, too. 
> 
> I started this story almost a year and a half ago, so it's definitely bittersweet to see it end. But I know for sure that I'll be revisiting this universe in a few one-shots/missing scenes in the near future. If you have things you want to see in the CB world, PLEASE let me know or send me a prompt.
> 
> I wouldn't have been able to do this without all of you who read, liked, commented, and encouraged me. You've all been so wonderful and I love each and every one of you. Seriously, this has been the most intense, greatest work that I've ever done, and I owe most of it to your support.
> 
> I hope you enjoy it!!

_ One Year Later _

 

Ben stood in the center of The Robert and Marlene Knope Memorial Park, the breeze mussing his hair no matter how many times he tried to smooth it back down. It was longer now than his usual short, military haircut. He pretended that it had nothing to do with the fact that Leslie loved tugging on it when it’s this length.

The weather had been unseasonably warm for early fall, but that didn’t stop the leaves from changing to their brilliant shades of red, orange, and brown. The beauty of what was around him wasn’t something he really cared about or even noticed before, but that was just one of the many things that changed about him since knowing Leslie.

He stared at the small monument commemorating Malcolm Jackson and the other brave men and women who gave their lives in the defense of the President and Pawnee. Some were friends and colleagues, others he never knew, but they all made the ultimate sacrifice and deserved to be honored.

He remembered standing in front of this memorial on the day of its dedication, which was also the day he and Andy received their Pawnee Medals of Honor. It was such a surreal moment. Almost every young soldier dreamed of receiving one in their career, but few ever did. After ICE Town, he thought he’d never be recognized for more than the occasional promotion, so to stand up in front of his entire nation as the woman he loved placed the medal around his neck was far better than anything he could have imagined.

He’d be lying if he said he didn’t feel like Han Solo at the end of Star Wars.

The world continued to turn after the news of Yurgin’s sentence and subsequent collapse of the Eagleton extremist group. It took time, but people were beginning to feel safe again. 

Leslie took back more and more of her responsibilities and was back to being the adorable workaholic that she was, while Ben dove headfirst into his new position. He was on a career fastrack now, or so they told him, and Leslie often teased that he’d be a four-star general leading her army in no time.

The road to recovery was a difficult, endless one filled with twists and turns and pitfalls. The nightmares got worse before they got better, and for a while, there were more nights spent clung together in desperation than passion. Sleep had become their enemy until exhaustion forced their eyes closed.

They still talked regularly with Dr. Nygard who seemed genuinely optimistic about their progress even when they weren’t too convinced of it themselves.

Sure, there were days when Leslie would call him in the middle of the day near panic because she needed to know where he was, moments when he saw something flash out of the corner of his eye and he was instantly transported to ICE Town or the compound, but unlike before, her arms were always there to bring him back to reality.

It wasn’t in them to quit, not after everything that happened, everything they had been through. And while there were times when all they wanted was to stay in bed and never face the world again, they persevered.

With a sigh, Ben stuck his hand into his pocket and pulled out the small, wooden knight hidden inside. Thankfully, when Yurgin’s men stormed the grounds of the safe house, they left the cabin fairly untouched, and Andy found the trinket amongst Ben’s belongings. 

He didn’t always carry it around with him, just on special occasions, times when he felt he needed to draw strength and confidence from it. 

Days like today.

His ears perked up when he heard her light, familiar tread in the grass behind him. With a smile, he pocketed the chess piece and stuck his hand out, wiggling his fingers as an invitation.

She chuckled as she made her way next to him and grasped it.

“How do you always know when I’m coming? I was trying to surprise you.”

He tapped his temple and winked. “Highly trained, remember. I have supersonic hearing and have your footsteps memorized. Besides, you’re just not all that sneaky. I keep telling you that but you won’t believe me.”

“I’ll get you one day,” she said and squeezed his hand before looking at the basket at his feet. “So does that have anything to do with you telling me to block the next few hours off on my schedule and meet you here?”

“Yup. You know, we’ve been dating for a while now, and it’s hard to keep things fresh and interesting. I figured a nice, surprise picnic lunch in the park would be right up your alley. Lunch and authentic picnic basket courtesy of JJ.”

“My, my, my,” she said with a wide smile, “you’ve definitely outdone yourself today.”

“I do what I can to keep my lady happy. Come on.” He tugged on her arm and led them to a clear space beneath a nearby tree. He pulled a blanket out from the basket and spread it over the ground before sitting down and patting the space next to him. She looked at the spot next to him before a mischievous look flashed in her eyes and she plopped herself in his lap.

He pretended to look annoyed but couldn’t pull it off, instead wrapping an arm around her middle as he took out the various treats from the picnic basket.

“Okay, so we have waffles with  _ extra _ whipped cream for you.” He handed her the container. “And a club sandwich with extra fries for me because even JJ knows that you’re going to steal some.”

The sentence wasn’t even finished before Leslie took one with a cackle. 

It was a little awkward eating with Leslie on his lap, but the solid warmth of her more than made up for it. He found himself kissing and nuzzling her neck between bites of his food as the birds chirped in the background.

“This was the first meal we ever ate together,” she said after a moment. “You remember that? In my office on your first day in the Capitol Building?”

“Of course. How could I forget. I was so nervous and was trying my best to apologize after behaving like a complete ass.”

“You didn’t do that great of a job at first,” she smiled.

“Yeah, well, I didn’t have much practice at the time. I wasn’t used to being the one that wasn’t in charge. But I won you over eventually.”

She leaned over to steal another fry. “Yeah, you sure did.”

~~~~~

After the food had been eaten, their positions changed, Leslie now sitting down on the blanket as Ben laid with his head in her lap. His eyes drifted between open and closed as her fingers slowly massaged his scalp.

“This reminds me of a dream I had once. At least, I think it was a dream. It was...it was when I was unconscious in my cell. Right before you found me.”

He stopped when he heard Leslie’s breath hitch. She tightened her hold on his hair for a brief moment before going back to steady strokes.

“We were in a park. Not this one. Ramsett Park, I think. You said it was your favorite place. I thought we weren’t going to make it, so I guess this was my subconscious’ way of having my last moments with you. You were so beautiful I swore I was dead and you were an angel.”

She gave him a brief smile, but couldn’t make it stick.

“I asked you what we would do if it was all real. What the perfect day for us would be like. You said it’d start with me already living in the Capital because of a new job and we spent the night together.”

At this she did actually manage a genuine grin. “Dream me knows her stuff. Done and Done.”

“And I added a bit about amazing morning sex.”

“Also done,” she laughed and leaned down to press a kiss to his forehead. 

“Twice.” He waggled his eyebrows. “But after that, you said that we’d stop by the kitchen and JJ prepared us a picnic lunch to take with us. We’d go to Ramsett Park and you’d show me all of the important spots you had as a kid. Then, we’d sit down and have our picnic and just talk about anything and everything. It’s not exactly the same, but I thought coming here would be more fitting. I don’t know, it kind of feels like your parents are here, too, in a way.”

“That does sound like the perfect day,” she sighed. “Your subconscious knows me very well. And I know we really can’t afford to take the time to spend a whole day like that, but this is a nice alternative.” She gave him a soft kiss. “Thank you.”

He sat up so that his head was only a few inches away from hers. “That wasn’t all. I said that if I had the chance, I’d tell you a few things. I’d like to do that now, if that’s okay.”

She ran a hand down the side of his face and nodded.

“It’s probably not anything you don’t already know, but I don’t say it nearly enough. I said I’d tell you how much you mean to me. That you gave my life meaning and taught me it was okay to love again. Not just another person, but myself, too. I didn’t know it was possible to love someone this much, and I never imagined having someone as wonderful as you love me back. I know you get upset when I say that I don’t deserve you, but I can’t help but believe it’s true. And I’m selfish because no matter how true I think it is, I can’t let you go. I never want to let you go.”

“You won’t ever have to.” Her eyes were soft and she leaned in to kiss him. “That was beautiful.”

He pulled away slowly and reached a hand into the basket. “There’s more, actually. The last thing I had said was that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, and one day I’d ask you.”

He swallowed hard and pulled out the box that Leslie had given him over a year ago to hold her father’s white knight chess piece. She gasped when he opened it and revealed a simple diamond solitaire. 

“That day is today. I don’t think I have the right words to tell you how deeply and ridiculously in love with you I am. We’ve been through so much, more than anyone should ever have to, and I know there’s a lot more ahead of us, but we’ll continue to get through it together. I can’t imagine a day without you by my side or a night spent without you sleeping next to me. I want nothing more than to be with you forever, no matter what the future holds.”

Her eyes were glistening with tears, but for once they were the good kind. She looked so excited and happy and all he could do was laugh with joy while his heart pumped wildly.

“So, President Leslie Knope, will you marry me?”

The yes was barely out of her mouth before their lips crashed together. It was so different then the kiss they’d shared in his dream. That one was a way to make up for everything he’d believed they would miss. It felt like an end.

But this kiss--this kiss was just the beginning. It was the brand new start of the life they would vow to spend together. Where the dream kiss tasted of sadness, this one was joy; where it had been bitter with regret, this was sweet with love and contentment. There were no moments to make up for. From now on, they’ll have a lifetime of those moments together.

He finally pulled away just enough to slip the ring on her finger, and she laughed again through her tears as she stared down at it.

“It’s perfect,” she whispered before looking back up at him. “You’re perfect, this day is perfect. Everything’s perfect.”

All he could do was smile and kiss her again because there was nothing else he could say.

If anyone were to have told him two years ago that he’d end up here, he’d have thought they were crazier than he was. Even now, with Leslie in his arms and his ring on her finger, he was still tempted to pinch himself. 

_ This _ was his life now. He was Lieutenant Colonel Ben Wyatt of the Pawnee Army, no longer the social pariah throwing himself at his work to atone for his past. His days were spent at a job he enjoyed and his nights with the woman he loved. He had friends who cared about him and peers who respected him. And soon, he’d be Leslie Knope’s husband.

He was more than the anguish that sometimes took control of his mind, more than the raised, uneven skin that covered most of his body. Leslie had once said that each scar told a part of his story, and it was one he didn’t need to be ashamed of anymore.

He was done running. ICE Town would always be a part of him, no matter how hard he had tried to forget, but it made him who he was. Everything in his past brought him to this very moment in the present.

But Leslie? She was his future, and wherever she was would be be his home.

And despite all they overcame, all that was still ahead of them--the sleepless nights, the bouts of anxiety and panic attacks, the flashbacks-- she was still right.

Everything was perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU AGAIN FOR TAKING THIS JOURNEY WITH ME. I hope it was worthwhile. Remember, if there is something in the CB universe you want to see, send me a prompt on tumblr @ benwyattforcongress. You're the best <3


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